by Ryan Taylor
The sudden, buoyant hope in his eyes made my heart lurch. “Just say yes.”
“Yes, to being friends. You know anything else would be crazy.” I smiled and tried to sound confident. “Let’s get to know each other. Who knows what might happen in the future… after you’re not my boss anymore? Possibly.” I took the last sip of my drink. “How does that sound?”
He nodded slowly. His smile was a little flat, but it made me want to trace his lips with my finger, followed closely by my tongue. “Okay,” he said. “Friends it is.”
Aaron
My watch said seventy-two degrees and 7:14 when we left the restaurant. Matt’s hand bumped against mine and I wanted to reach for it, but I managed to resist. Slowly but surely, Aaron. Don’t spook him. You’re going to have to woo him like you would a nervous jury. “You want to walk for a while?” I asked.
“Sure.”
I relaxed as we headed east on L Street, toward Connecticut. He hadn’t blown me off, so even the Christmas decorations were looking better. We turned north at Connecticut and strolled along, looking into windows. Connecticut has some nice stores, but I don’t think it occurred to either one of us to do anything but window shop and enjoy the time together.
“Do you like Christmastime?” he asked, as we stood gawking at a big tree in one of the windows. “Or is it just a pain in the ass?”
“I like it fine.” I couldn’t keep a goofy grin off my face. It was hard to believe this amazing guy was walking with me. The wind had picked up some, and his hair fluttered in a way that made me long to run my fingers through it. “My family’s Jewish, but we’re not very observant. We light candles for Hanukkah. My mom always puts up a Christmas tree and we do presents, but it’s all very social and secular.”
His laugh warmed my heart. “Kind of like us. We’re Catholic, but we’re all lapsed except my grandma. She goes to church and prays for everybody. My sister and her kids always come for Christmas, so the tree and presents are big hits.”
“And Santa, I’ll bet.” I snickered at a memory. “I have a brother, two years older than me, and when we were little, we got really pissed that my family didn’t do Santa. Mom finally caved, and we’ve had Santa ever since.”
We walked on, and when we got to Dupont Circle, Matt said he should go home. “Six thirty tomorrow morning will be here before I know it.” He narrowed his eyes. “Tell me you’re not going back to the office.”
“Not tonight. I’ll ride the Metro with you.”
We were able to get seats next to each other on the train, and he kept his hands folded on his lap while we talked. At the Tenleytown stop, he looked at me, wearing the shy smile I couldn’t get enough of. “I had a really good time tonight. Your stop is next, right? Friendship Heights?”
I wasn’t ready to say goodnight. “It is, but I’m going to see you home properly. Only one extra stop to Bethesda.”
He stiffened as his eyes grew wary. “Aaron?” I could tell he was measuring his words carefully. “We’re friends, remember? There’s no reason for you to go to my place.”
Duh! The light went on in my head. “I’m not trying to pull anything. I just feel like a little fresh air to wind down from the day. I’ll see you home and walk to my building from there. It’s not that far.”
A long few seconds went by. “All right.” He relaxed into my side again. “As long as we’re on the same page about things.”
“Totally.” I jabbed him with my elbow, making him jump. “Don’t be so suspicious.”
His laugh was infectious, and we kidded each other the rest of the way to his stop. At Bethesda Station, we rode up the longest escalator I’d ever seen. Once again, I couldn’t help ogling his ass, and the growing discomfort in my pants warned me that it might require more effort than I’d thought just to be friends for a while. It had gotten chillier outside, and we walked close together. It felt so good that I hoped he lived about two miles away.
To the contrary, it took less than ten minutes to get to his building. He pulled his keys out of his bag and looked up at me. “Well….”
“Uh-uh,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m seeing you home, not to your building’s door.”
“Aaron….” There it was again, that warning tone he did so well. “One step at a time. I’ll invite my friend over soon.”
I bowed my head, realizing I should take it easy. “Sorry, I really was just wanting to walk you upstairs.”
“Thank you. I had a wonderful time.”
“Me too.” When I touched his cheek, he ducked his head but didn’t pull away. “Goodnight, Matt.”
He met my eyes wearing a cryptic smile. “Goodnight. See you tomorrow.”
I walked back down the drive to his building and turned around when I got to the sidewalk. He was still there and raised a hand. I waved back and headed down Wisconsin toward Friendship Heights. All the way, I wondered how to proceed. He wanted to date me, too, so the question was how to get him there.
Matthew
Wow! Aaron Roth blew me away. He was hot as gunpowder, to borrow Shakespeare’s phrase, and a brighter star than Keats ever imagined. Where has he been all my life? For about the thousandth time, I cursed fate, wondering why I couldn’t have met him sooner.
But I had to remember that it wasn’t meant to be, because if anything between us went beyond friendship, it could be the end of both of us at work. For me, that probably wouldn’t be fatal because paralegals were a dime a dozen. An attorney, on the other hand, could be destroyed professionally by a messy firing with sexual harassment overtones.
I went into the kitchen to make some lavender-chamomile tea. After my fantasy of an evening, in the cold light of reality, my stomach had hardened into a solid ball, and the tea would help me calm down and think of a way out of this. Aaron was a lawyer, but he was just starting to work. Since I’d had a job for the three years he went to law school, I had more experience in the real world. He probably didn’t realize how cruel a workplace could be, and if he was too blind or naïve to see what a bad idea it was to start up anything, I had to think for both of us.
Aaron
The next few days were busy. Townsend piled up assignments faster than I could do them, and I was in the office by seven thirty in the morning and stayed until eight at night. By far, the best part of each day was seeing Matt, who looked so good that I had perpetual erectile superfunction. He acted weird, though, and I knew something was wrong. All he’d say when I asked about it was that we’d talk later.
On Wednesday afternoon, he brought me some case printouts for a brief I was drafting. He waited in front of my desk while I tried to look them over, a virtually impossible task with him standing right there with… things… at eye level. When I broke out in a sweat, I put the papers down and looked up at him. “This is really good.” His smile emboldened me. “But not nearly as good as you.”
His clear, hazel eyes sparkled. “Bet you say that to all the boys.”
“No….” My face got hot. “I-I really don’t.” Hoping to convince him, I arched an eyebrow and grinned. “Only the irresistible ones.”
“Oh, you!” He smiled, obviously a little flustered, and licked his lips.
My breath quickened as my pants got very, very tight. “Matt, if you don’t get out of here right now, I’m going to have you backed up against the wall.”
He broke into a huge grin. “I know you say that to all the boys.” No sooner were the words out of his mouth than his smile faltered and his hand flew to the back of his neck. He turned tail and practically ran for the door.
“Out!” I barked, or as close to a bark as I could get while battling a hard-on and trying not to laugh.
Matthew
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! What the hell had I just done? Aaron looked so good sitting there in his blue suit. He’d complemented it with a green tie and white shirt that made his olive complexion glow, and the smell—sandalwood and Aaron—had caused me to take leave of my senses. He kept sneaking glances
at my junk, which made me feel a little feverish, and then he complimented my work.
I’ve always been insecure, and a lot of the bastards I’d dated made it worse. I’m one of those guys who tries to see the good in people, but that meant that, time after time, I’d fallen for men with smooth mouths and a knack for making me feel really good, then dumping me after they got what they wanted. It’s not you, it’s me, they’d say.
As a result, I’d come to assume people who complimented me were being disingenuous, and had learned to deal with it using sarcasm. That day with Aaron, I realized too late that I was using flirty sarcasm instead of something more caustic, and I got out of there as fast as I could. He thought I was flirting with him, that everything was going to be okay. He thought we could be social, and date, and have fun.
If only.
When Aaron called me that night, I almost didn’t answer. I finally picked it up because I thought it might be something important to do with work.
Right! And what about that lush, green property I’ve got for sale in the Sahara Desert…?
Anyway, I answered, and of course it had nothing to do with work. We had a great time talking. Just as friends.
“Let’s make this call FaceTime,” he said, after a little while. “I really want to see your face.”
I wanted to see his, too, but I’d already changed into PJs, and…. He may be in his PJs too! “Okay, that’s fine.” I was grinning so hard I almost couldn’t get the words out.
A click later, there he was. Yep—hotter than gunpowder! He looked very sexy in a light blue T-shirt, lying back on his bed. He’d obviously scrubbed his hands through his hair, and the messy look made him even more fetching.
I needed to ignore the growing bulge in my sweatpants for the time being, and I racked my brain for something to say that had nothing to do with us jerking off together. “So, what was law school like.”
He told me some funny stories, interspersed with all kinds of tidbits that eventually got us onto other subjects. Before long, we were talking about life in DC.
“I’m not crazy about it so far,” he said. “It’s been too hot this fall, half the people you meet have sticks up their asses, and unless you go down to the Mall, it’s an ugly city.”
I chuckled. “That’s pretty much the same reaction I had when I first moved down here.” They must have heard my heavy sigh in Baltimore. “Add in, having the boyfriend you moved here with cheating on you after only two weeks.”
“Fucking idiot!” Aaron looked disgusted. “How could he do that to you?”
I tried not to sound bitter. “You don’t know the half of it. I have a history of choosing the wrong guys.” My voice choked at the end, and a tingle of embarrassment crept across my scalp.
He stared into the phone until I started feeling uneasy. “Is that why you don’t want to date me?” Aaron asked, and the question was so tender it made me get teary.
A lump the size of the Jefferson Memorial materialized in my throat. Tears prickled my eyes but I had a lot of experience holding them back, so I let out a long breath and forced a smile. “Yeah, DC’s weird, but it has a lot of good things to do. Why don’t you let your friend Matthew show you around sometime?”
“You serious?” His grin was blinding. “How about this weekend?”
Too late, I realized what I’d gotten myself into. “Okay… sure.”
“We’ll have fun. No bailing!”
I nodded, doing my best to keep a silly grin off my face. I was glad he launched into another story that soon had me laughing my ass off. An hour later, we hung up and I realized I needed to pull out the heavy artillery. If I was going to resist Aaron Roth’s charms, I needed a distraction. I picked my phone back up.
Grindr, as always, proved to be a terrible disappointment. I’d given up actually meeting anybody from there months ago, and besides, who was I kidding? I was going to have to do this on my own. I deleted Grindr from my phone and got ready for bed.
The next morning, I was in the copy room scanning some documents when Mr. Townsend came in. He was a tall, thin man with a kind smile who looked to be in his sixties, with snow-white hair and eyes the clear blue color that I associated with Arctic fjords.
“Ah, here you are. How is everything going, Matthew?”
I’d been loading paper into one of the copier drawers and stood up as I spoke. “Really well, Mr. Townsend. I think I’m getting up to speed.”
He leaned back against the counter. “You’re doing an excellent job. How are things with Mr. Roth?”
My limbs went cold. How can he know something already? Wait! There’s nothing to know. I studied him carefully and saw nothing besides a curious smile. “Great. He seems very nice.”
“I believe so. Aaron’s a very fine young lawyer.” He held up a folder. “I have a task for you.”
The firm’s messengers were busy, so I had to go to the DC Probate Court to file some papers. By the time I got to Judiciary Square, found the right courthouse, stood in line, and got back to work, it was past noon.
I hadn’t been at my desk five minutes when Aaron hurried out of his office. His eyes were wide, and when he saw me, he closed them for a few seconds and exhaled loudly. “Matt! You’re here! Everything okay?”
“All’s well.” I grinned. “Miss me?”
“Yes,” he practically hissed, his voice low. “Where were you? I was worried.”
“I had to go to file some papers for Mr. Townsend.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re back.” He widened his eyes. “Hey, wait a minute!” He ran into his office and came rushing out carrying a Toblerone bar, which he set on my desk. “I remembered you said you like these and happened to see one when I stopped for coffee.”
Oh. My. God. He remembered what kind of candy bar I like when we discussed it for maybe five seconds? I picked it up and grinned at him. “Thank you. That’s so sweet, and I…. Well, thanks, Aaron. Share it with me on my break this afternoon?”
He broke into a wide smile. “The candy’s for you, but I’d be happy to go to the break room and have a soda while you eat it.”
I nodded. “Three thirty?”
“It’s a date.”
I didn’t bother to correct his word choice, and he went back into his office. About thirty minutes later, a woman came in with a food delivery. “Roth?” she asked.
I nodded. “This is the right place. I’ll take it.”
“Your lunch has arrived, Mr. Roth,” I said, walking into his office and setting the food on his desk.
He had his eyebrows squished together when he looked up from The Bluebook, but immediately broke into a big grin. “Oh, thanks. I’m starved.”
“All right, I’ll let you eat.” I closed his door behind myself and decided it was time for me to have lunch, too.
Three minutes later, after a trip to the office refrigerator down the hall, I walked back to my desk with the salad I’d brought from home.
Aaron was waiting for me. “You’ll never believe….” His eyes were aglow, and he was talking fast.
I turned my head to the side and smiled at him. Immediately, I wiped the expression off my face. Don’t do that flirty smile thing with him. “What will I never believe?”
He tittered nervously. “Bobby’s Burger Palace accidentally sent two burgers instead of one.” He watched me for a couple of seconds. “They’re huge. I can’t eat two and was wondering….”
I did my best not to smile, but before I knew it, my traitorous lips twisted upward. “You were wondering…?”
“You want one?” He widened his eyes and nodded hopefully. “Come on in, we can eat together.”
By some amazing miracle, Bobby’s Burger Palace not only sent two burgers, but also two sets of sides—conveniently different to facilitate sharing—as well as two shakes, one vanilla and one chocolate.
Aaron
Townsend came in at about five forty-five to give me corrections on a trust document I’d drafted for him. After he handed them t
o me, he hesitated and scratched his chin. “I’m getting ready to leave, but I’d like to talk for a minute, if you have time.”
“Of course, should I come to your office?”
“No, here’s fine.” He sat down heavily and studied me. Opening his mouth, he hesitated again. “You’re doing very well here, Aaron. You’re a superb young lawyer, and I think you have a bright future ahead.”
Okay. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
He pursed his lips for a second and leaned forward. “I know you’re young, but you have to be careful. These are important years for your career.”
He looked like he was going to go ahead but didn’t, so I jumped in. “Why do I feel like there’s something you’re not saying? Is there a problem with my work?”
He shook his head. “No, not at all, but…. Aaron, if you didn’t read the employee manual carefully before you signed it, please take some time this evening and look at it again.”
My stomach tightened and I felt a little queasy. I had an inkling about where this was going. “I read it, and I’ll read it again.” I needed to know for sure what was on his mind. “Why? Please be frank.”
He splayed his hands out on the edge of my desk. “Just this. It’s wise to avoid too much socializing with support staff, or even with other associates. People could get the wrong idea.” With that, he stood and turned for the door. When he got there, he looked back at me. “Don’t worry about this. Just be wise, Aaron.”
I sat thinking for a few minutes after he’d gone. Maybe Matt was right, and it would be better to get him transferred to another office. I just didn’t want to upset anything until he came around. Matt Kennington was too good to let slip through my fingers.
Making the night even better, Dad called just as I was leaving the office. It was later than usual, around nine fifteen, and I had no time. Eager to get home and call Matt, I plugged in my earbuds so I could talk to Dad on the way to the Metro.
My father was a partner in one of the oldest, most exclusive law firms in Manhattan, and he had made sure my brother Benjamin and I went to law school. Now he was doing everything he could to be certain we followed in his footsteps. As usual, he didn’t waste any time on greetings. “How’s work? You’re not slacking off?” He sounded gruff, and I could tell by the background noise that he was driving.