by Ryan Taylor
Ben had called to let his mom know we were running late, and it was almost one o’clock by the time we got to the hospital. Her hair was in place, her color was good, and she was talking to somebody on the phone. Her face lit up when she saw her boys, and she got off the phone in a snap.
“Hugs!” she squealed. “I don’t get to see you nearly often enough.” When she’d squeezed both of them and given them big old Mom kisses on the cheek, she looked at me. “Come on, I’m still one hug short.” I even got the kiss on the cheek.
We enjoyed talking for a while. She was excited because the doctor had told her that, barring anything unexpected, she could go home the next day, as long as she wouldn’t be by herself.
“You’re coming, for sure,” I said. “We’ll keep you company.”
“See, bro,” Ben said, poking Aaron in the arm with an elbow. They were both leaning against the spare bed. “Here one day and he’s taken charge already.” Aaron’s face lit up, and his brother poked him again. “He knows the Roth men are a disaster. You found a good one, so hold on tight.”
They exchanged a glance and a quizzical smile, and it was clear that there was a lot simmering under the surface.
“What’s going on?” Mrs. Roth didn’t miss much.
Aaron turned to his mom and lost his smile. “What do you mean? Nothing.”
She didn’t say a word but sat there looking back and forth between her sons. I could imagine her using that same look a lot when those two were growing up. She folded her arms across her chest. “I’m waiting.”
Ben broke first. “Let’s talk about it when we get you home.”
“I think we’d better talk about it now.” Her smile was no-nonsense, but full of love. Is there a Mom School or something? My Mom had the same smile.
Aaron drew his eyebrows together. “I don’t want to upset you. Please, let’s wait.”
“What will upset me is knowing there’s something going on that you won’t tell me about.” She took a quick peek at me before turning back to her sons. “Do I need to ask Matt?”
Aaron looked at the ceiling and puffed out his cheeks, then glanced at Ben before facing his Mom. “Okay, but try not to get worked up. Promise me?”
She nodded. “Sit down, Matt,” she said, indicating the chair next to her bed. “Those two look like they need some mutual support over there.”
Aaron and Ben leaned against the spare bed, and the more they said, the more flabbergasted Mrs. Roth looked. The brothers became very emotional when they told her about basically throwing their dad out, and she and I were both fighting tears by then. Such an ugly morning, it had been, topping off such a lonely few years for Ben. They finally got to the end of the story and fell silent.
Mrs. Roth sat very still, her mouth firmly set, taking it all in. She drank some water, and after she put the glass back down, reached for my hand. The same determination burned in her eyes that I’d seen in Aaron’s on Monday morning in the HR office. “Matt, I apologize, from the bottom of my heart, that you had to endure that.” She squeezed my hand. “In my home, no less….” She shook her head slowly. “You couldn’t be more welcome here. Aaron cares very much for you, which means that I do as well.”
“Me too.” Ben had on the same grin Aaron was wearing. “You’re a terrific guy, Matt. Sorry about all that stuff this morning.”
“Don’t be sorry,” I told him. “You saved the day. I’m thankful you were there to hear it all.”
“The hidden benefits of eavesdropping,” he said, breaking the tension, and we all laughed.
When the chortling died down, Mrs. Roth got a serious expression on her face. “All right, you told me something difficult, and now I have something for you. You should hear it, too, Matt.” She stiffened, seeming to brace herself. “Your father and I have been having problems for some time. That can’t be a surprise to either of you.”
Aaron and Ben shared a look before turning back to their mother, both of them shaking their heads.
“Earlier this month, we agreed to separate after New Year’s. The only reason for waiting until then was to be able to tell you when you were home. All this has done is speed up the process.”
“Mom!” Aaron rushed over to give her a hug. “I’m so sorry.”
“Oh, don’t be.” She waved him off. “I did my grieving a long time ago. It’s all been smoke and mirrors for years now.”
Ben stayed by the empty bed. “We knew… things weren’t right.”
She looked around, taking all of us in. “What you told me a few minutes ago doesn’t shock me as much as I wish it did. I’ve known you father was a duplicitous, self-involved man for a long time, and I’m sorry I didn’t do anything about it sooner.” She looked at Ben. “I swear to you, son, I never knew what happened with Amy. I would never have stayed quiet about that.”
“I know that, Mom.” He got up and gave her a hug. “I never thought you did.”
“Mom?” Aaron had lost some of his color. “There’s more I need to tell you, if you’re up to it. Related, but different.”
“Get it off your chest.”
“Ben, trade places with Matt. I need him to come over here beside me for this.”
I took my place beside Aaron and held his hand. His voice grew shakier by the sentence as he filled his mom and Ben in on what happened in DC. We were both in tears by the time he finished.
“You did exactly the right thing, son.” The pride on his mom’s face left no doubt about where she stood. “There’s a lot of good you can do in the world, and that sorry firm would never have helped either one of you, beyond providing a paycheck. Those huge firms strangle the humanity out of you.” She shook her head, a slack expression on her face. “Look at your father as an example. It may be hard to believe, but he wasn’t always the way he is now.”
“Damn it, guys.” Ben’s eyes were huge. “What colossal balls you’ve both got. I’m in awe.”
The nurse came in, a woman today, and said they needed to check Mrs. Roth over. She asked us to give them some privacy and come back in a while.
Aaron
“What are you both going to do?” Ben tried to sound curious, but a shadow of concern passed over his face.
I took a sip of my coffee. “Get through the holidays. Decide where we want to be and look for jobs.”
“You’re going to stay together?”
We were crowded around a tiny table in the hospital cafeteria. I was sitting next to Matt and had my arm slung over his shoulder, brushing the side of his neck with my fingers. At Ben’s question, I tightened my grip and pulled Matt closer. “Together for sure.”
Ben nodded. “I could put out a feeler at Ornsdorff.” He worked at Ornsdorff Potter, one of the leading litigation firms in the city. “I wouldn’t have any sway, but I can find out if they’re looking.”
Now was as good a time as any to declare my independence from BigLaw. “Thanks, man, but I don’t think so. Big firms aren’t for me. I don’t want to work my ass off doing something I don’t like, spending years hoping to make partner and knowing that if I’m successful, I’ll hate what I do every day for the rest of my life.”
We spent a little while talking about what I would like to do. I wanted to fight for the underdog, try to leave the world at least a tiny bit better off because I lived in it.
Matt, who’d hardly moved, turned in his seat. “I’m so proud of you,” he said. His breath was warm on my chin, and we sat looking into each other’s eyes for a minute or two. It was one of the hottest kisses I’ve ever had, all the more amazing since our lips never touched.
Ben clearing his throat brought us back into the world of mere mortals. “I was thinking while you guys were… busy.” He grinned, looking away for a second. “Aaron, tell me if I should butt out, but I have an idea.”
“All ears, man,” I said. Matt had his arm around my shoulder now, and I relaxed into him.
“You remember Liam Macadam? I was on the swim team with him in high school. You tagged
along with us a lot.”
I couldn’t help but scoff. “I see Liam sometimes. I went to his wedding, remember?” I turned to Matt. “Liam’s a lawyer, too, a really nice guy. Good looking, smart, has a great heart. He married a guy a year or two ago. The wedding was at an abbey near here, and they had a kickass reception.”
Ben’s grin was evil. “‘Goddamn, they’re both hot as shit’ was your comment at the time, if I remember correctly.”
I glanced at Matt, a little embarrassed, and made a funny face. “Before we met, honey pie.” I gave his lips a quick peck. “Now I only have eyes for you.”
We all snickered, and Ben got serious again. “How about I call Liam? We stay in touch, and he and his husband are in Wainscott for the holidays. I don’t want to say more, but you should talk to him. He’s doing something you might be interested in.”
Matthew
We were on our way to someplace called The Green Lantern to meet those guys Ben had called earlier. Aaron said it’s an English-style pub with great food and an amazing selection of beer. We’d invited Ben to come along, but he said he was tired and took a raincheck.
Aaron and I got there first, and had no sooner ordered beer than a boisterous voice called out, “Look what the cat drug in. Aaron Roth!”
I looked over just as two guys walked up to the table. One of them wasted no time pulling my boyfriend into a bear hug, and the other looked at me and held out his hand. “Hi, I’m John Macadam-Lawrence. You must be Matt.”
After we shook, the other guy turned toward me. “I’m Liam,” he said, and we shook, too.
We all sat down, and Liam and John ordered their beers. We asked for Scotch eggs and Buffalo wings for appetizers, and the waiter said he’d be back to take our dinner orders.
“I didn’t know Buffalo wings were English,” I said.
“They come from English chickens,” Liam said, winking at me. He was very handsome, with brown hair and eyes the color of a good chocolate bar. He was muscular, but not like Aaron. Liam was more svelte-muscular, like Ben. Duh! He and Ben were both swimmers.
“Don’t pay any attention to him,” John said, chuckling. “He’s a goofy, shameless flirt, in case you didn’t notice.” John was older than Liam, although I wasn’t sure how much. He was good-looking, with blond hair and blue eyes. His skin was almost as pale as mine, and he was on the thinner side, like me. Liam was all confident and take-charge, kind of like Aaron. They were both kind of loud and cocky, in a very attractive way. John was much quieter, but I quickly figured out that he was smart and had a razor-sharp sense of humor.
We all bantered for a while, and Aaron kept his arm around me. It felt so good to be with him, and there was something about being out with another gay couple that made everything feel extra good. You could tell that Liam and John had been together for a while. There was something about them, all over each other but not—totally into each other, but comfortable. Definitely something worth waiting for.
After we ordered dinner, Liam looked at Aaron and didn’t waste any more time. “A buddy and I started our own firm in DC. It’s going great guns, and we’re looking to take on an associate. The associate could become a partner if everything worked out.” He narrowed his eyes. “No BigLaw bullshit, though. My buddy Michael and I are both rebels, and we’ve had more of BigLaw than we ever wanted.”
Aaron shifted in his chair, looking a little worried. “Ben said you might be looking for somebody, but you hardly even know me anymore.”
Liam chuckled and shook his head. “I’ve known you since you were a third grader trying to tag along with Ben and me for everything we ever did. Drove us nuts.” He laughed again, a fun, contagious sound, and I felt Aaron relax. “Me and Dan and Ben,” Liam said, snickering. “And you! Remember when we were home that one summer from college? You were still in high school, but you went everywhere with us. Mom was gone one weekend, and we had a party at our house where you—”
“No, stop! I still can’t drink tequila. I barf if I even smell it!”
John rolled his eyes at me, and Aaron and Liam took off down memory lane. I wasn’t born yesterday, though. Liam was damn good, putting Aaron at ease so they could really talk.
I hit it off with John. He used to be a music professor, a choir director, and since I sang in choir all the way through college, we had that in common. When we had to go to the bathroom, we spent a few minutes talking before going back to the table, where Aaron and Liam were still having a good old time.
Dinner arrived, and while Liam tucked into his Green Lantern burger with sweet potato fries, he got serious again. “Aaron, Ben filled me in on things this afternoon, but I want to hear it from you. What happened down in DC, what are your goals, and what are you looking for?”
Aaron told him the whole story while John and I listened. John’s eyes got misty a couple of times, making me like him more. I could tell he got it—he understood what having Aaron meant to me.
Ben had also told Liam about what happened with their dad. Aaron filled in some details about that, and John reached over to put a hand on mine when I got emotional.
Liam asked Aaron about the work he’d done at Craig Swan, and what he would like to focus on in the future. If we had been at all unclear on the way to dinner, it was obvious that this was more than a reunion of old friends. It was a job interview.
Over trifle and sticky toffee pudding, Liam laid it out. He and his friend had a firm that practiced what he called “socially sensitive law.” They took routine cases from regular people and charged fees on a sliding scale, based on income. “We end up doing a lot of work pro bono,” he said. “We’re able to do that because we also do the legal work for a socially conscious investment firm my brother-in-law runs.” He paused to finish his beer and signal for another round. “We’re also starting to get into some appellate work. Whatever associate we hire will be expected to participate in all aspects of the firm’s work. But we’re not BigLaw. There’s a firm rule that we all go home by six o’clock at night, and nobody is in the office on weekends unless a trial starts on Monday.”
He and Aaron talked a little more while we all relaxed and drank our beer. Liam eventually gave Aaron a grin that no doubt had made a thousand dudes fall in love with him over the years. “I’ll be honest, man. I think you’d be a really good fit, and I’d enjoy working with you.”
Aaron nodded, a big grin on his face, too. “It sounds like exactly what I’m looking for.”
Liam tapped Aaron’s elbow and shifted his gaze to me. “Matt, we also happen to need a top-notch paralegal, just in case you know anyone who’s interested.” When he winked at me and grinned again, I realized that John was the second-luckiest guy in the world, right after me.
Aaron, meanwhile, was wiggling in his seat, and had scrunched his eyebrows together. He leaned across the table toward Liam. “I’m very interested in the job, but… a question?”
Nodding, Liam held out a hand.
Aaron licked his lips and scratched the side of his neck. “Do you guys pay?”
When Liam managed to stop chuckling, he managed to say that, yes, they would pay a salary worthy of an associate in Washington, DC. “Here’s the thing,” he said, taking the last swig of his beer. “Michael Lawton and I are equal partners. I can’t do anything without talking to him, but we’ve both agreed that we gotta have help. Give me until tomorrow, and I’ll have an answer for you.”
“Wow, that’s really quick.” Aaron’s eyes were wide, and I could tell how much he wanted the job. “Thank you. Do you want me to email you a resume or references or anything?”
“Dude.” I knew Liam well enough by then to tell that the scowl he gave Aaron was totally fake. “I’ve known you most of your life. At Macadam Lawton, we’re interested in people, not paper.”
Aaron sat straight up in his chair, his eyes dancing. “Okay. Let me know if you change your mind.”
Liam nodded. “We’re staying at Mom’s. Could you come by about two o’clock tomorrow?�
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“We’ll be there!” I said, thrilled to see Aaron so excited. But when I realized I’d spoken for him, I felt a little sheepish and put my hand on his arm. “That’s right, isn’t it, honey? We’ll be there at two?”
We all laughed some more, and I had a holiday premonition that tonight could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Thursday, December 22
Aaron
Matt and I had been exhausted when we got home the night before, so there were no extracurricular activities. My body may have been worn-out, but my brain worked overtime processing the events of the previous day. I was awake at least once an hour, suffering from troublesome dreams that gave way to disturbing loops of thought that made me frantic. Fuck, I want that job at Liam’s firm! What if he doesn’t hire me?
At six o’clock, I gave up on sleep and went for a long run. I needed to work off some of the tension of the last few days and figured the exercise would give me time to think. I ran through East Hampton and worked my way to Amagansett Beach before I turned and ran back down to Main Beach.
There, I sat in the sand for a while. It was cold and windy, but that helped get my brain back in gear. By the time I made my way back home to Wainscott, Matt was in the kitchen, looking sexy in an oversized sweatshirt of mine and some flannel PJ bottoms. He was at work cooking a big breakfast, and the house smelled like blueberry pancakes and sausages.
The expression on his face reminded me of a little kid, caught when he was up to no good. “The blueberries were getting ready to go bad, and I found the sausages in the meat drawer. You think it’s okay?”
My running shoes squeaked across the tile. I gathered him in a tight hug and whirled him around while he squealed and laughed.
“Put me down, you brute!” He giggled while he pounded on my shoulders. “How can you not be frozen solid? I walked out by the pool for a minute, but that wind went through me like a knife and I had to come right back in.”
I put him down and snagged one of the sausages from the platter, resulting in his giving me the evil eye. He started flipping pancakes. “Are you feeling any better this morning? You hardly slept at all.”