His back against the wall, he had no choice but to stop. He could disappear any second, leave her standing there staring at emptiness with his blood on her hands. So she slowed her movements, not wanting to scare him off.
“I’m not going house shopping tomorrow, Davyn. I want to be with you now, that’s all.” And she knew he wanted the same thing. “You just finished saying the way to weaken temptation was to experience it.”
“I wasn’t talking about us! If we came together, it wouldn’t weaken anything. It would destroy.”
“I trust you.” He wouldn’t destroy her.
“Then trust me about this.” His breath came fast, his heart racing. Torn. He looked so torn. She nodded, not knowing what she was agreeing to. To stop? To move forward regardless of the consequences? When her gaze landed on his chest, the blood a symbol of both their pasts and eternities, she whimpered.
He stared into her eyes with an expression that held none of his usual condescension or anger. His gaze followed the tears as they crested her eyelids and fell onto her cheeks. “Hunter, I…” He wiped one away with his thumb, turning his hand towards him and looking at his finger.
“Does it hurt?” she asked softly. There wasn’t enough salt in a tear to cause him much pain, but she didn’t want to cause him any.
He didn’t answer immediately, as if he were gathering his thoughts. Thinking before he spoke didn’t seem like something he did often. When he actually started speaking, she understood why he’d hesitated.
“I’ve seen millions of tears, been responsible for a lot of them, but I’ve never felt them before.” He rubbed his thumb and finger together. “They hurt. Yours hurt me, in a way I can’t describe. It’s something…internal. Where I imagine my soul would be if I had one. That’s not possible. I don’t have one. I’m never going to.” He shuddered, his eyes closed. Then they shot open. “Make them go away.” He wiped her cheeks, her jaw, his movements and his voice rough. “Keira, make them stop.” He leaned back into the wall hard, smacking against the brick.
“We can’t do this.” When he slammed himself against the wall again, she yanked him forward. The sudden change in momentum made him stumble into her, his greater weight pushing her over backwards. He reached out and slipped his arm under her head, so she didn’t crack her skull open. Not that she was much better off.
He was so heavy. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t make up for the air that had been knocked out of her when they landed. Her lungs couldn’t expand. She clawed his shoulders and arms, pushing the chest of a man built like steel and weighing just as much.
As soon as he realized she was in trouble, he rolled off her and onto his back, each of them sucking in air as if they’d just fought for their lives. She stayed like that for a while, her eyes closed until her breath evened out and her panic had gone, listening to him speak in a language she’d never heard before but sounded like it came straight out of a horror movie…or hell.
“What just happened?” she asked.
“Seeing you…cry…because of me… Don’t ever do that again.”
“What are we doing? With each other?”
“Being self-destructive.”
It had been like this since they’d met: He fought her and then saved her, she could breathe and then she couldn’t, everything happening in opposition. All because of someone else’s definition of what they were and should want, a war he didn’t care about. Neither one of them played by the rules or avoided risk, except in this.
He smoothed her hair off her face, continuing down her neck, her shoulder, her arm, lifting her hand and wrapping his around it. His breath was so hot against her cheek. When his lips brushed her eyelids, she felt as if she were melting. When he moved away, she opened her eyes and saw him lick his lips, tasting the last of her tears, looking confused and astounded at the discovery.
“Salty.”
She turned and wiped his lips. “Then why did you do that?”
He took a deep breath. “I don’t know why I’m doing anything anymore, not when it comes to you or anything to do with you, which is…pretty much all there is.”
She bit her lip, feeling more overwhelmed and confused than ever.
“Not again!” he said.
“Sorry.” She blinked really quickly—she’d cried twice in the last three years, and they happened within ten minutes of each other.
“No more of those, or I’m gonna want to blindfold you,” he said, starting to smile. “Which I want to do anyway, but for a much kinkier reason. Are you all right now?”
She nodded. “Are you?”
He shook his head. “I’m not strong enough.” And then he kissed her, forcing his way into her mouth with a powerful swipe of his tongue. So deep inside her.
Twenty-Six
Keira moaned as he tore her shirt off, pulling her off the ground so their lips never separated as he yanked it from her arms, and then tackled her pants, mumbling in the other language again. As soon as her pants were off, she pushed him over, reveling in the sound he made as he gave in, turning onto his back just like she wanted. She straddled his hips, trapping his erection between them, sliding herself up and down its length.
“Wait,” he groaned against her mouth. “We can’t.” She pressed up with her hands next to his shoulders, her breasts still against his chest. If she looked down, she’d see his blood on her skin, coating her, and fuck if that didn’t make her want him more. “We can’t do this.”
“Yeah, we can.” She kissed him.
“Hunter, listen to me.” He pushed her away—not violently but forcefully. “Not going to happen.”
“Then why’d you start it?” She wasn’t proud of pouting, but now was hardly the time for him to start having morals.
“It took a while to get both of my brain cells working at the same time to remember this can’t happen. That’s not what I wanted this to be.”
“Really?” Great, now she was snapping at him. She didn’t feel bad about it, though—reasonable conversation was impossible with a man like him underneath her. “Because I’m pretty sure that’s what we both wanted this to be, and I don’t get what changed.”
“You will.” He gripped her biceps to keep her away. “If we go too far, you will change.”
“You said change is good.”
“Not this kind.” He brushed her face with his fingertips, his chest still heaving. “If we were to—” Somebody’s hips pressed into the others, but Keira wasn’t sure who started it. “Oh fuck. You have no idea how difficult this is, and that kind of stuff is only making it harder. So— Quit doing that!” Yeah, that time had definitely been her fault. “If we were together this way, there’d be no going back. I would brand you. You would never be the same as you are now.”
“I don’t want to be the same.” She didn’t know exactly what he was talking about, but she would deal with anything to have him. “Besides, I’m tough. We’ll just be careful, and you won’t hurt me.”
“Demons aren’t allowed to lie with humans. It’s against the law for a reason, and it can never be undone.” He lifted her chin so she looked him in the eyes. “I’m not allowed to tell you but... Damn it— You have to understand. If we were together, I would burn into you. Not your body, your body will always be yours. I would fuse with your soul. We would share your soul, and it would never be fully yours again.”
“It’s already done.” She didn’t know what response he was waiting for. Horror? Fear? Whichever it was, he wasn’t going to get it. “You’re a part of me whether you want to be or not.”
“That’s not true. Your soul is still yours.” He closed his eyes. “You can never give it to me.”
“I don’t know if I gave it to you or you earned it, but it’s yours either way.”
“No,” he groaned. “You don’t understand because you’ve always had one. You don’t know what it’s like not to. You have to keep it safe, hold it tighter than you’ve ever held anything. Just… Get off me before I do something we’ll both
regret.”
“I won’t regret—”
“Fine. Before I do something I’ll regret. Get off me and walk away. I’ve tried and failed, so you have to be the one to do it.”
“What if I can’t either?”
“You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, strong enough for the both of us. Please, hunter. Get off me before I come in my pants.”
“Just imagine how I feel—I’m not even wearing pants.”
“As if I could’ve forgotten.” He took a deep breath, the lifting of his chest rocking her back a little, rubbing her core against his cock, drawing out a long moan from her, pressing herself tighter to him. The need was a force more powerful than vengeance or murder. His hand slid between them, an attempt to keep their hips apart that actually provided more pressure exactly where she needed it.
“Oh fuck,” he said after she let out another moan. “If it happens”—he put his hand on her, keeping her put—“it happens my way and with a reason I can rationalize beyond just wanting to be between your thighs. And very, very unfortunately, it won’t involve my cock.”
Oh, man. “You’re not going to whip out a spiny tail or something, are you?” Fuck it, she’d take anything and everything right now, but she really hoped it wasn’t that.
“Shut up, hunter. You’re ruining my rationalization. Here’s what I think: You don’t need blood or pain to get off. All that shame for reacting the way you did with Lamere needs to disappear. You’re perfect.” He smirked. “As perfect as a non-demon can be. All you need is someone you’re very attracted to, who’s willing to put some time and effort into convincing you that you can have even better orgasms without all the bad shit. And this just happens to be your lucky day. So here’s what’s going to happen: I’m going to make you feel so good, so many times, you’re going to forget about everyone but me.”
She paused, blinking, because…um…there wasn’t much she could find wrong with that idea. Except…“We’re not going to have sex.”
“Not in all the ways I’d like to, no.”
“But I want you to—” And suddenly she was on her back with him on top of her. “Oh.” She could’ve gotten free. Probably. If she’d wanted to.
He held her wrist tightly, keeping her from touching him. “Believe me, I would kill every super I’ve ever met to be inside you. Any part of you.” His gaze lingered on her lips until she licked them, at which point he groaned and looked away. “Tease.”
“I’m not teasing.”
Another groan. “That makes it even crueler. The safest and smartest thing I could do right now is go hide in my room and jerk off for the rest of the year.”
“Why?”
“You wouldn’t ask that if you could see yourself right now, feel the heat you’re putting off, the scent.”
“Why isn’t it safe?”
“The branding is caused by the energy demons release when we get close to an orgasm. And I want you so badly right now, I can’t guarantee I won’t come the second we’re skin to skin.”
“Condoms.”
He laughed. “Aren’t made for demons.”
“So you’re not going to come at all?” Why couldn’t they just leave all of this behind? Forget who and what they were, be two people who only wanted to love each other for a little while. Have something simple and good, for once.
“Believe me, if demons could cry, I’d be doing it right now. Since we don’t, I’ll have to settle for whining like a kid who’s standing in front of every Christmas present he’s ever wanted, but not being allowed to play with them.”
“So even if we were to…” she said, “meet here again tomorrow—”
“I would make you come as many times as I could. Just to hear it and be close to you when it happens, to know I was making it happen. Yeah.”
“Wow, poor me. But, no matter what, you couldn’t?” She wiggled her hands. “Even if I used these?”
“This is a pain greater than hell for me.” He blew out a breath, hungry. “Get ready for the whining. Bottom line: I don’t know. I wish I did, because I can’t think of a single thing I wouldn’t trade to feel your hands on me, other than to feel you come around my cock, to push deep in—”
He sighed. “Historically, when a demon lies with a human, it’s quick and by force. So a lot of things are still unknowns, but I’m not willing to risk your eternity on it.” His hand curled around the back of her neck and pulled her head off the floor to kiss her. “Don’t look so sad, hunter. I’m going to enjoy pleasuring you. More than I should. So…it’s enough.”
“Liar.”
“It’s as much as I can allow myself,” he said, smiling. “You should be proud of me. It’s taking all the self-control I have, plus a lot I don’t have but am trying really hard to fake. If it wouldn’t involve me lying on top of you, I’d even let you pat me on the back. So stop tempting me, woman. It’s hard enough…and difficult enough.”
She felt guilty for a few seconds. Until he touched her again. Oh yeah, this was going to be hell to get used to.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Davyn had been wrong about temptation—nothing good in it at all. He’d thought he could make her come a few times, prove she didn’t have to hurt to feel pleasure, and be able to get it out of his system—this need he had to touch her, to watch her lose it and know it was because of him.
Problem? Self-control wasn’t his best quality…or worst or any other kind, because he didn’t have any.
Her scent filled every breath, and he could almost taste her. Almost. But not enough. The next step would be to use his mouth and his tongue. Not his fault or anything he should take responsibility for, but something he’d avoided because of the intimacy of it, the closeness. He knew how it felt to kiss her mouth and how much that connected them. Tasting her would only cause more confusion. He struggled with himself to care.
She moaned his name, cursed a mother he didn’t have, whimpered, and then gave in to him again, proving that, with only two properly placed hands, he could make her feel better than that evil bastard’s magic tricks ever could.
“Why didn’t I think of this earlier?” He spoke against the little hollow just behind her ear, smiling when she swatted at him. “Oh, right, I did. Constantly.”
As fucking beautiful as she looked—naked, sweating, her smile the kind that’s only seen on a truly sated woman—he was ready to kill someone. Go exothermic on someone’s ass. Every cell in his body was primed, every impulse edging, begging for release. He couldn’t fuck her, couldn’t rip off his pants and shove himself inside her, forget all about how much it would alter both their eternities.
Worse pain than hell.
Suck it up. If only she could. And the worst part was that he knew she would. If his will faltered for even a moment, she’d take him into her mouth. Now why the fuck did he have to think of that? Damn it, that was the last image he should have in his head right now.
He scrambled backwards before he did something irrevocable, or let her do something.
“Davyn, you can’t do this to me. You can’t leave me like this.”
“You mean after only three orgasms? Damn, woman, is nothing enough for you?” It wasn’t enough for him, either. “Just give me a second. I need a couple seconds”—he held out his hand and shut his eyes because seeing her like that was doing the total opposite of helping—“like a million or so.”
She never listened, why’d he think she would start now? She sat up, her breasts all he could see until she started crawling towards him.
Shouldn’t have opened my eyes. “Hunter! Stop. Stop right now.” He backed up until he hit something and then stood, clutching the counter for support. Not that it helped—she was still on her knees, focused straight ahead, on the one part of his body he couldn’t give her.
“Don’t you want to—?”
“You have no idea how badly.” Covering himself, he cursed. Pants still zipped, cock as hard as an anvil but way more sensitive. Even the brush of his own hand pushed
him closer to the edge. “This is your fault.”
“Am I supposed to feel bad about that?” Her grin was wicked, cruel in its beauty.
“Stay right where you are. Understand?”
“You’re really not going to let me touch you, are you?”
“No.”
“Then do it for me.”
“What?” A less masculine sound had never come out of his mouth. It was the unbelieving squeak of a prepubescent boy faced with the woman who starred in every one of his wet dreams.
“Let me see what I can’t have.” She swallowed, her eyes still at half-mast, still needy and burning. “If I can’t touch you, do it for me.”
“Oh,” was said on an exhale. Oh, shit, was thought immediately after. Followed quickly by a silent demon-style prayer of thanks. “You’ll be a good girl though, right? Stay on your side of the room?”
Not two seconds after she nodded, his belt was undone, his pants unzipped, and his cock in his hand. He groaned as his fist wrapped around it, stroked up to squeeze the tip, gathering proof of his desire and using it to slide down again.
As good as it felt, it was nothing he hadn’t felt before. What made it incredible, singular, more powerful than any other time he’d jerked himself off was having her ten feet away, her eyes moving up and down his body—from cock to face and back again.
The part that made everything way too perfect was when her hand moved down her own body in response to his. He tightened his fist to keep himself from the edge. If he wasn’t very careful, he was going to lose control and any of the hundred things he wanted to do to her, on her, and in her, could happen. Maybe even all of them.
He’d never, ever, ever wanted to be human before. But right now, that’s exactly what he wanted to be.
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