by Toni Aleo
“I know,” Jensen said as he crunched down, running his hands through his hair. He had asked Kacey Thomas for a workout, and she wasn’t holding back. He was sweating everywhere, and he knew he was pushing himself to get rid of the crazy lust inside of him. He didn’t want to work out. He wanted to veg on the couch, but he had to do something, or he was going to lose his ever-loving mind. Wren was trying to kill him. For the last four days, he had gone to bed with the biggest boner known to man because his wife had decided she wanted to run around in basically nothing before bed.
Those thongs and that bra were becoming his kryptonite.
Watching her as she slathered her face in lotion with her sweet ass hanging out and those thighs… Jesus, those thighs for him to drink in was basically torture. She was killing him slowly, but he was staying strong. And killing Vaughn in the meantime.
As he finished up his burpees, Vaughn fell to the ground once more and lay there, shaking his head. “I’m done.”
“We have another round.”
“I refuse. Let’s go get chicken,” he said before sitting up to meet Jensen’s gaze, his eyes hopeful. “You love chicken. Hot chicken. I’ll buy you all of it. Just for you.”
Jensen laughed. “No.”
“You’re mean.”
“It’s for your own good.”
“You’re just taking out your sexual frustration on me,” he accused as he stood up, slowly and with a groan. “It isn’t my fault you won’t put out. That’s your own issue.”
Jensen laughed. “You know nothing, my friend.”
“I know it all, because Wren was at my house bitching.”
Jensen’s brow quirked. “What?”
Vaughn set him with a look. “Yeah, she was at the house on Sunday, talking to her new BFF—which is very weird to me, by the way—and they were talking about how you won’t put out.”
“She said that?”
“Well, no, she said you wouldn’t do her because you aren’t attracted to her.”
He scoffed. “That’s fucking bullshit.”
“I know this, because you’ve had a boner for her for, like, ever, and I told her that.”
Jensen’s whole body went cold. “You did? What did she say?”
“She didn’t believe me, or Brie.”
“I can’t believe you told her that.”
“Does it matter? She didn’t believe me.”
“But still.”
“Dude, she thinks you’re doing this because you’re honorable.”
Jensen brought his lip between his teeth as he shook his head. “I swear, that girl’s confidence is in the tank, and it’s fucking annoying.”
“It is.”
He sat there for a moment, thinking it over, and slowly he moved his head side to side in annoyance. How could she think that? “I don’t know what to do. Do I just give in? Or do I keep on? I mean, I seriously tell her daily that she’s beautiful. Tell her that I love the little things, her hair, her line thing she does to her eyes, I mean, everything. But because I won’t let her use sex as a way to feel something for me, then I’m not attracted to her? That’s not fair.”
“I hear you, brother,” Vaughn added, holding his hand up. “But maybe she needs that.”
“No, she wants to rely on it so she doesn’t have to feel anything else for me, and that’s bullshit.”
“But if she thinks you aren’t trying to get her naked, how is she supposed to feel sexy?”
“’Cause I tell her!”
“You’ve said, ‘Damn, Wrenny, you’re sexy’?”
Jensen snorted a bit. “Not like that, but I tell her she’s beautiful.”
“Not the same thing.”
Jensen grumbled as he thought it over. He understood what Vaughn was saying, but he didn’t know if he agreed with him.
“Listen, bro, I got you. I hear what you’re saying, and I get it. Really, I do, but you know how she is. She’s used to one thing. Maybe that’s the way you two can connect, and it won’t just be about the sex for her. It will be more.”
Jensen bit the inside of his cheek. “Says the person who’d rather fuck than talk.”
Vaughn held his hands up. “But let me tell you, Brie and I had a very healthy sex life, and I fell hard for the girl.”
“But you never had any intentions of falling for her. How do I know Wren will have feelings for me?”
Vaughn shrugged. “You knew that from the rip, bro. This whole relationship has been like the moment in the crease—where the puck could go in, or you could block it. She’s the blocker, and you’re the puck trying to go in. It’s a gamble. A big one.”
Swallowing hard, Jensen admitted he had known that from the beginning. He did, but hearing it once more made it even more real.
And scared the living shit out of him because he didn’t know what to do.
Should he stay strong, wait for her to feel something for him?
Or should he just take her to bed and hope for the best?
Fuck, this was complicated.
Wren’s heart ached in her chest as she watched Tate struggle in front of her.
He looked so wrung out. His shoulders were down, and his eyes were full of such defeat. She wished this wasn’t happening, and she hated her stupid hormones that were making her want to hug him and cry with him. As he looked up, meeting her gaze, she clutched her notepad as he tried to smile.
“You’ve thought this through?”
He nodded slowly, his eyes filling with tears. “Audrey and I have been talking since our last session. She started crying last night because I was still so unsure, and she just wanted me to be happy. She said that if I want to push myself and try to get back on the ice, she’d support me and she’d love me no matter what, even in a wheelchair. And that hurt me. I don’t want to do that to her or my kids. If I retire now, I can give my body the time it needs to heal, and I can be there for them.”
“You’re right. And good for Audrey. You’re lucky to have such a great woman.”
His lips turned up in a true smile. “I’ve loved her since the moment I met her. She’s so strong. So beautiful and the best woman I know. She loves me hard, and she loves our children with her whole soul. We’ve stood beside each other through thick and thin, and I couldn’t ask for a better partner for this life.” Wren’s heart shattered as he inhaled deeply, his lips quivering. “As much as I will miss the ice, miss being between those pipes, I miss playing on the floor with my kids more. Being able to lie with my wife the way she loves…sorry, TMI,” he laughed and she smiled. “But I’d rather be able to be there for my family and love them, like they’ve always loved me. The best thing for me is to retire.”
“And that’s what you want?”
“Yes.”
“Good, I’m glad that we’ve all worked together to come to this realization. I think it’s for the best, but in the end, it’s what you want.”
He nodded. “I know, and I do. I might not like it fully yet, but I know that if I keep trying to push myself, I’m not only going to hurt myself but my family too, and nothing is more important than family.”
Wren’s lips started to quiver. She missed Wells. She missed him so much, but she was still so angry with him. It wasn’t only that; it was the fact that she knew, like Tate, Jensen would do the same thing for her and her child.
And she wasn’t sure she would do the same.
That hurt her.
Pissed her off.
Why couldn’t she be like Audrey?
Reaching out, she took Tate’s hand and squeezed it. “I’m proud of you, Tate.”
“Thank you,” he said, squeezing back. “I don’t want to stop our sessions, though. I think I still might need them.”
Wren smiled, loving that he wanted to keep seeing her. She had been worried he would drop her since he had come to this decision, but she knew he would continue to need her. The pain was still so overwhelming for him, and not playing would take its toll. “I’ll always be here for you, Tate. E
xcept for the next three weeks.” She laughed. “I’m going back home. But my phone is always on.”
He smiled. “That’s great. You need a break. Especially with dealing with me.”
Wren laughed, shaking her head. “Never. You’ve been a joy, Tate. I’m so proud of you.”
They shared a smile as he slowly got up, reaching for his crutch, before leaning on it. “Thanks, and oh, congratulations. Audrey told me that you and Monroe eloped.”
She blushed. “Yeah, we did.”
“And that you’re having a baby. I hadn’t realized.”
“Yeah, I just look fat,” she teased, waving him off, and he turned bright red.
“Never.”
“I was teasing you.”
He smiled as she walked with him to her office door. “You know, Wren, he’s the greatest guy ever. He texts me at least three times a week to check on me. When everything happened, he brought food for my family so Audrey wouldn’t have to worry about it. He babysat for us while I was in the hospital. He’s got a great heart, and since I think you’re the best, I’m really happy for you two.”
Her lips trembled as she placed her hand on the middle of Tate’s back and met his gaze. “Thank you. He’s wonderful.”
“He is. Congratulations again and enjoy your trip.”
“Thanks, Tate. Get with Leah for your next session.”
“Will do. Thanks.”
“Thank you,” she called as she watched him walk to Leah’s desk.
When her tears started to spill over her, running down her face, she shut the door and leaned her head into it. Everyone had nothing but nice things to say about Jensen. Everyone. She knew the only person who probably didn’t like him was his ex-wife, but she was a cunt, so it didn’t matter. Wren was married to the best damn guy on earth, and she wasn’t one hundred percent committed. She would be home in a matter of days, and she knew in her soul that everyone would see right through them.
She felt like she wasn’t doing anything right. She was fighting with Wells. She hadn’t talked to Shanna in almost seven months. She missed her friend, she did, but what she had told Jensen was the truth. Shanna would judge her and then push to know the father. Wren knew she would see Shanna when she went home, and she was dreading it. Then on top of all of that, she couldn’t allow herself to even entertain the chance that she and Jensen could work. It seemed so foreign to her, and that bothered her. He was such a great guy, and apparently, he adored her. So what was the issue?
Meanwhile, she was in charge of helping men with their mental health?
She was a fucking impostor.
As she wiped away her tears, she shook her head.
“Kiddo, I love you, I do. But man, you are making my hormones turn me into a fucking crybaby who has no clue what to do with her life, and that’s not good, man. I gotta figure this out.”
Or she was going to be alone.
Looking down at the pile of bills on the counter, Wren closed her eyes as she sucked on the spoon full of ice cream, tears dripping down her face. She’d made the mistake of stopping by her mailbox for her mail. Inside was bill after bill—and the biggest one from their trip to the baby store. She wouldn’t let Jensen pay, and because of that, her credit card was maxed out. Her first thought was she’d pay it off with the money from her trust, and that opened up the waterworks.
What if they got home and her dad saw right through them, not giving her their money? What if Jensen was wasting his time? What if she was dumb enough to fall for him, and he decided at the end, when she was flabby from having a baby, that he didn’t want her? God, why was she such a fucking mess?
Today sucked.
“Pity party for two. Sorry, kiddo, you’re in this because you’re inside me.”
When the front door opened and Wren saw Jensen coming through it, she turned away quickly, wiping her face as she walked, hoping he didn’t see her crying. She hadn’t expected him to be home yet since he said he would call. So, of course, she was in the middle of the kitchen with a container of ice cream and tears flowing from the day that had turned her into an emotional mess.
“Whoa, where you going?”
“Nowhere,” she said, turning around once she was sure her tears were gone. “I thought I had to pee.”
His brows were drawn in, his arms carrying two bags from her favorite taco place. “The bathroom is right here,” he said, pointing to the bathroom that was right beside the door and so much closer than the one in the bedroom. “So, want to try that again?” Setting the bags down, he came around the counter as his eyes held hers. “Are you crying?”
“No.”
“Yes?”
“Maybe.”
“Why?” he asked, leaning his hip to the counter, his eyes never leaving hers. “What’s wrong?”
“I had a tough day,” she said slowly, shaking her head as she placed her container of ice cream on the counter. “And it sucked and I’m emotional and it’s weird because I can’t stop crying. I think I’ve cried more today than I have my whole life.”
Coming off the counter, he reached for her. “Come here.”
But she held her hands up. “No. I can’t think when you hold me.”
“More of a reason to come here,” he decided, taking her hands and pulling her into his arms. The warmth of him was intoxicating, and she instantly felt safe as his arms went around her completely. How did he do that? “We can dance.”
She made a face against his shoulder as her tears started to fall once more. “There’s no music.”
He paused then, taking out his phone and hitting play before laying it on the counter. Something soft and slow started, she wasn’t sure, she hadn’t heard the song before as he started to sway with her. Instantly, she was taken back to the New Year’s Eve party Elli had thrown, the way Jensen had taken her out to the dance floor and danced with her then. He didn’t say much, and he sure as hell didn’t try anything, but he never left her side. He was there.
Just like he had been then.
“What song is this?”
“‘Sometimes It’s Hard’ by Jamie Lawson.”
“Oh, it’s nice.”
“It is,” he agreed. “I listen to it when I stretch. It’s calming.”
“Yeah,” she agreed, closing her eyes as she leaned on him. The music was beautiful and so very calming. But the words, man, they hit her right in the soul. She hadn’t heard of this guy, but she figured he knew her and her situation before deciding to write a song about it. Getting lost in the song, she held on to Jensen as they swayed together in the kitchen. It was silly, but soon her tears dried against her cheeks as her heart gradually slowed in her chest.
Leaning his head to her, he inhaled slowly before whispering, “Now tell me what happened today.”
She leaned into him, closing her eyes. He smelled divine, and he felt so damn strong, holding her like she was a feather against him. “You can’t ever tell anyone I told you this. Even if you are my husband, it’s player confidentiality.”
“Of course.”
“Tate decided to retire today.”
He exhaled hard, shaking his head. “That’s a fucking shame.”
“Yeah, but he’s in so much pain, and seeing him almost in tears as he chose his family over the sport he loved just gutted me.”
He nodded against her. “I can imagine. That guts me just thinking about it.”
“It sucked.”
“It does.”
Swallowing hard, she swayed with him, her fingers tucking into the belt loops of his shorts. “What else happened?”
“How do you know that something else happened?”
“While I know you love your job, that’s not the only thing to have you crying in the kitchen ignoring the tacos on the counter.”
“We’re dancing.”
“It’s tacos, Wren.”
She smiled against his shoulder. “You know me so well.”
“I do.”
“I miss Wells.”
&nb
sp; His shoulders fell a bit. “I’m sorry.”
“And Shanna. But I know Wells and I will work it out before Shanna and me.”
“Maybe you can call them both?”
“I don’t know.”
“Want me to call them?”
She smiled. “No. It’s my responsibility.”
“I can handle Wells, and you can take Shanna.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s fine.”
“Okay.”
“But thank you.”
“Always.” She let out a long breath and then leaned her head back into his chest. “Is that it?”
She pressed her lips together as his chin rested on top of her head. “I went by my mailbox.”
“Oh, good, you’ve been meaning to do that.”
“Yeah, but it was bills galore in that sucker.”
“Give them to me, I’ll pay them.”
“No. They’re my bills.”
“I don’t care. You’re my wife.”
“Jensen.”
“Wren.”
“No.”
He moved his lips along her temple. “I do what I want.”
She smiled against his neck. “I said no. If everything works out, I’ll have my money, and I can pay them off.”
“There is no if, Wren. Everything will be fine.”
But she shook her head. “I’m worried about everyone not believing us when we go home.”
“That won’t happen.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do. I’ll make sure of that.”
She closed her eyes, hoping he was right as she wrapped her arms around him, needing his strength. As they swayed through three more songs, all slow and sweet, Wren couldn’t stop thinking about everything. Tate, Wells, Shanna, going home, but most of all, Jensen. She couldn’t shake her reservations. Her anxiety over all of it ending in a fiery explosion. She didn’t realize it, but she needed this. She needed constant support. She’d never had that, and now that she did, she didn’t want to lose it. But she couldn’t use Jensen for that. He deserved better than that, but could she truly let herself love him? It would be so easy if she allowed herself to. But what if he didn’t love her? What if she was a means to an end?