In the Crease (Assassins Book 11)

by Toni Aleo

  “Everyone keeps saying that. I don’t see it.”

  “Don’t know how,” her brother said before kissing her hard on the head and then reaching for Jensen. “I feel like it’s been years, you big asshole. How are you?”

  Hugging his best friend who was more like a brother, Jensen smiled. “I’m great.”

  “I can tell. Look at you two, all cute and cozy. Who would have thought it?”

  Wren smirked as Jensen smiled over at her. “I always did.”

  “Ugh, even that’s too gooey sweet for me, dude. Tuck it in.” Wells flashed him a grin before winking. “So I guess I’ll go out there and do damage control. I left Alex out there. Dad is probably trying to make sure he’s really gay. Or that I am. Who knows? But one thing is for sure, don’t come out until I fix things.”

  With that, Wells left. Jensen watched him go out the door and shut it. His stomach was in a knot, and while he didn’t think he’d done anything wrong, he didn’t like that his parents away from his parents felt he had gone off on them. Looking back at Wren, he found her watching him. “You want to go apologize?” she asked.

  “No, but maybe I should just talk to them?

  She shrugged. “I mean, I think everything you said was truthful and real. I wish I would have said it, but then, I think I’m a glutton for punishment.” She held up her hand. “Actually, from my years of psychoanalyzing myself, I felt that was the only way I got attention. So instead of pointing out what they’re doing wrong, I got angry. I closed myself off.”

  His face scrunched up. “Do you do that a lot?”

  “The angry part?”

  He laughed. “No, the analyzing part. I know you get angry a lot.”

  She pursed her lips at him. “I feel that was a dig.”

  “One I made with love,” he added, and she rolled her eyes.

  “But yes, you have no clue how much I have to do it. I’m probably the only therapist in the world who probably needs therapy.”

  He laughed. “Haven’t you said everyone needs therapy?”

  “They do, me included.”

  He chewed on his lip as he shook his head. “Either way, it had to be said. I don’t regret it, I just don’t like the way they received it. But if it makes me the bad guy, oh well. Since they are aware, maybe they’ll fix it.”

  Lying down on the bed, she cuddled into the pillows. “They won’t.”

  “Wren, come on. Give them the benefit of the doubt. They love you. I know they do.”

  She shrugged. “I mean, I know they do, but it will always be everything else before me. I’m easy, according to them, as long as they don’t piss me off and I get ‘dramatic.’”

  Jensen looked back at the door, hearing Wells out there with his parents. “I don’t know.”

  “I don’t think you should apologize.”

  He looked back at her. “Because you’re enjoying this.”

  “Oh, I am,” she teased, her lips curving. “Never has anyone stood up for me like that. I’m so hot, I’m on fire.”

  “Okay, Corny Christina, relax.”

  Her sputtering laughter made him smile as he looked back at the door, unsure what to do. Should he apologize?

  “I’ve got an idea.”

  He looked back at her. “Yeah?”

  “Why don’t we take a nap?” she suggested. “We all know I’m always tired, so a nap is good, and we can cuddle.”

  “That’s unfair. You know I love naps, and I love cuddling with you.”

  “I know, I’m evil.”

  “You are,” he decided, crawling into the bed and wrapping his arms around her. “Maybe it’s good to give them a minute. Give Wells time. I’ll wait.”

  “Yeah, give them a minute. Let Wells tell them the same thing, and let it work itself out. Because you aren’t wrong, Jensen. You weren’t rude, you were stern. And I, for one, really appreciate it.” Cupping his face, she kissed his top lip. “A lot. It means a lot to me that you did that.”

  Holding her gaze, he ran his finger along her collarbone. “It was nothing. You did it for me with Ophelia.”

  Her face changed, her eyes darkening as they narrowed with a sinister gleam. “I hate that bitch.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, I think that’s pretty much established.”

  “She’s a cunt.”

  “She is.”

  “All fucking high and mighty. Man, she’s the one who missed out on a great guy.”

  Jensen’s lips quirked at the side. “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah, and like I told her mama, ‘Her loss, my gain.’”

  “Oh,” he asked, his ears perking up. “I’m a gain for you? When did this happen?”

  She rolled her eyes. “You know you are.”

  His face broke into a grin as he kissed her chin. “Still nice to hear you say it.”

  “Okay, Needy Nelly.” He laughed as she smiled, leaning into him. “Hey.”

  His laughter subsided, and he closed his eyes as she cuddled into him. “Yeah?”

  “Something was bothering me when we were at home with your parents.”

  Surprised by that since he’d assumed she would tell him something else sweet about him being a gain, he opened his eyes as he leaned his lips into her temple. “What’s that?”

  “Did they not know that you couldn’t have kids?”

  His heart stopped as his mouth went dry. He completely hadn’t seen the conversation going this way. Swallowing hard, he shook his head. “No, they didn’t. No one knew but Ophelia and me, and then Vaughn and Wells.”

  “They never suspected? Because you said you two were trying for a while.”

  “Nope, it was never brought up on either side of the family, and when she cheated on me, getting pregnant, everyone was so mad she did that to me that no one asked why. Her mom didn’t talk to her for a year, neither did her dad. People were devastated.”

  “Not you, though?”

  He chuckled a bit. “I was embarrassed more than anything. But everyone acted as if she had cheated on them and not me, so I just ignored it. Did me. Thankfully, it happened during NateWay going up, so I focused on that. Oh, and those shorts you always wore.”

  Laughing, she shook her head before cuddling into him and nibbling on his chin. “Can I ask something else?”

  “Do you still have those shorts?”

  “Jensen!” she laughed, and he smiled. “I don’t, and I doubt they’d fit even if I did.”

  “Still like to see ya try,” he said, and she bit him softly as he laughed.

  “Anyway,” she singsonged as he cuddled deeper beside her. She was so warm, so soft, and smelled so damn good. “I know you don’t like talking about this, but I’ve wanted to know this for a while.”

  Without opening his eyes, he said, “Then ask.”

  “Have you been back? To check and see if you still can’t have kids?”

  That made him open his eyes. He stared at the wall above her head, and his heart stopped dead cold in his chest as his eyes started to blur. “No, I haven’t.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t want to know. I sort of gave up on it.”

  She looked up at him, her brows pulled together. “You? Give up?”

  He shrugged, his heart hurting. “I figured that if it were meant to be, it would happen. Plus, I already felt like a loser, not even a man, so I didn’t want to make that any worse.”

  Her eyes softened as she cupped his face with one hand. “Oh, Jenny.”

  “It’s fine. Really.”

  “It’s not, though. I can see that,” she whispered, her lips brushing his chin. “But that doesn’t make you a man, Jensen. I mean, it does because that’s how babies come. But when I look at you, I don’t see that you’re a man by your ability to father children. I see that you’re a man by your ability to give love.”

  He met her gaze, and his heart picked up in speed. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, and you love hard.”

  “Eh, that’s only for you.”

&nbs
p; She gave him a look. “No, you love everyone, you care for everyone, and you’d do anything for anyone.”

  He inhaled deeply. “While that’s true, the only person who truly matters, and whom I care so much for in the hopes of making them fall in love with me, is you. Only you, Wren.”

  Her eyes dilated a bit as she leaned into him. “It’s working.”

  His eyebrows rose. “It is?”

  “Yeah, all of it. It’s working.”

  His heart jumped up in his throat from the tone of her voice and the fear in it. “That’s a good thing, Wren.”

  “It would be if I could stop being an asshole and let it happen and not worry about it all coming down like a decaying sack of crap.”

  He blinked. “That is a vivid image.”

  “My mind is something insane.”

  “I know,” he answered, kissing her cheek. “And I love it. All of it.”

  She shook her head. “You shouldn’t. You should run.”

  “Never,” he answered, kissing her once more. “You’re mine, Wren Monroe.”

  Her lips curved as she pressed her nose to him, her eyes playful but still full of concern. Concern he wished like hell he could ease. Wasn’t he doing that, though? He did everything he thought she needed. What more could he do? Pressing her lips to his, she whispered, “Which means you’re mine, Jensen Monroe.”

  He nodded. “Completely.”

  They shared a sweet smile as she glided her nose along his. “I want to be like you. Completely in.”

  “You aren’t?”

  She bit her lip, unsure of herself. “I don’t know.” While it hurt, he was thankful she was honest. “I don’t want you to leave me. Every time I fall for someone, they’re gone before I can say it.”

  “Well,” he said, capturing her mouth with his for a long, drawn-out kiss he knew they both wanted and needed. As she melted into him, he held her close before pulling away only slightly. “I know for a fact that if you told me you loved me right now, I wouldn’t run. I’d be right here, telling you right back that I loved you too. You can try it. Like a test run.”

  Her face broke into a grin as her cheeks flushed deep with color. “I can’t. Not yet.”

  He didn’t like that. It should come easy. But while some things were easy for him, he understood they weren’t the same for her. Even if it did frustrate the living fuck out of him, he understood. He knew it going in. He cleared his throat, and she looked up at him. “Why?”

  Her brows pulled together. “What? Why I can’t say that?”

  “No,” he said, shaking his head. “Sorry, no. Though, I’d love an answer for that if you have one.”

  Her smile faltered a bit as she held his gaze, and his breath completely stopped as he got lost in her. Her mouth moved, but nothing came out before she pressed her lips together, swallowing hard. “I mean… I feel… I feel the same.”

  He glared. “You feel…you feel the same? Seriously?”

  She smiled. “I know, it’s pathetic.”

  Shaking his head in complete amazement, and not the good kind, he muttered, “Yeah.”

  “Jensen, I’ve told you from the beginning, I’m the epitome of a perfect disaster.”

  He couldn’t help it, he smiled, pressing his nose to hers. “And like I’ve said from the beginning, that is everything I want. You. I want you.”

  Her eyes were wide as she shook her head. “All of me? Even the really annoying, unsure part of me?”

  “Every single part.”

  She inhaled with her whole body before exhaling just as hard. “I do really feel something for you, Jensen. I promise. I do. It’s just scary, and my track—”

  He smiled. “I know, baby.”

  “I suck, I know.”

  “You don’t suck, you’re just frustrating.” She swallowed hard, her shoulders drooping before he added, “But that’s not what I wanted to know. Since I knew the answer to all that.”

  “Oh?”

  “Why’d you ask me that? About me having kids?”

  She blinked once and then twice, holding his gaze as she shrugged. “I just wanted to know.”

  “Why?”

  “Because.”

  “Because, why? Do you want more kids?” She bit her lip as she shrugged, and just like that, his heart was in his throat. “Wren?”

  “I don’t know,” she answered quickly. “I just hate the thought that you think you can’t have kids when maybe you can.”

  Pulling back a bit, he held her gaze. “I mean, if I can, then awesome. But by the grace of God, in the meantime, I have my boy,” he said, his hand coming down and resting on her belly. “Right?”

  “Yes, please. Don’t think I meant anything by this. I was just asking.”

  “It seems like more than that, and you’ve never asked.”

  “You don’t like talking about it,” she said simply, looking down at where his hand was on her stomach, rubbing softly. “If I don’t like talking about shit that bothers me, I don’t want to ask you to.”

  Silence stretched between them as voices from the kitchen leaked through the door. He didn’t pay them any mind, though. His eyes were on Wren. “While I appreciate that, you can ask me anything, Wren. I’ll tell you anything you want.”

  She worked her lip as her hands came up, resting on his chest. “Still. I deal with people opening up all the time, and I know how much it can suck. I don’t feel you should have to too.”

  “But we’re married. We’re supposed to be open books to each other.”

  She scoffed at that. “Please, you don’t want me opening The Fucked-Up Book of Wren to you.”

  “You mean like the part that involves the douche who knocked you up?”

  Her eyes widened. “I guess.”

  “Because I pretty much know everything else.”

  She seemed uneasy as she exhaled. “Yeah, I guess you do.”

  She held his gaze, her eyes burning into his as he spoke. “Let me ask you something, Wren.” Her eyes filled with something—fear, anxiety, he wasn’t sure—but she didn’t move as he asked, “Does he live here?”

  Looking away, she chewed on the inside of her lip. “Don’t make me answer that, please.” He watched her profile as tears filled her eyes. “He doesn’t matter. You’re our no-named son’s father, so why does he matter?”

  “Because I want to know. I want to know what man disrespected you and left you high and dry. And after I beat his ever-loving ass, I want to thank him for giving me the greatest gift in the world.” She looked back at him, her lip trembling as tears leaked out the sides of her eyes. “A woman I will love until my dying day and a son I will not only love the same, but be the best father to.”

  Breathless, she shook her head. “Jensen, please, he doesn’t matter. What you just said is all that matters.”

  “True, but obviously he does. To me, at least.”

  “He doesn’t. Not even a bit. Don’t think of him. I don’t.”

  “You don’t?”

  “No,” she answered, her face scrunched up in disgust. “The only man I’m currently thinking of is you, and that’s all I care about. So just let it go.”

  “Wren, I think it would be best if you told—”

  “I’m done talking about this,” she said, turning over and giving him her back. “And I know that makes me a fucking child, but I refuse to give that motherfucker any fucking power over us.”

  Confused, Jensen threw his hands up. “How the hell would that give him any power by my knowing who he is?”

  “Because it will,” she answered, pulling the blankets up and by her face. “Goodnight.”

  “It’s three p.m.”

  “Good fucking afternoon, then,” she spat back at him, and he shook his head, falling to his back as he stared up at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure what the hell was the issue, why she didn’t want to talk about it, but he was getting really fucking annoyed. It was frustrating. Fucking frustrating. But then, she was right. The dude didn’t matter. O
r, did he? Jensen wasn’t sure, but one thing was for sure, between her not admitting her damn feelings and the douche who knocked her up, he was sure to lose his fucking mind.

  Especially when he couldn’t shake his thoughts that centered around the guy. Or the dread that filled him every time his mind wandered that way because that trepidation was born of true fear. He wasn’t sure if it was because he knew the dude mattered, or if it was related to her earlier statement, that she thought Jensen was going to leave her. There had to be a reason for it, because he was doing everything he could to ease her concern.

  That alone worried him more than her unsure feelings.

  Her feelings, he could handle, but a wayward deadbeat daddy was something Jensen wasn’t ready for.

  Because the baby in her belly was his.

  Plain and simple.

  No one would ever take that away from him.

  Not looking at Jensen, Wren cuddled deeper into the bed with a moan. “Vaughn won’t care.”

  Jensen looked back at her as he buckled his belt. “Probably not, but I want you there.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry, but I didn’t sleep well. I’m so tired, and my head hurts like mad. I just want to sleep. I’ll be grumpy. You don’t want to hang with me when I’m grumpy.”

  He looked away toward the mirror as he fixed the top of his shirt. It was a button-up, plaid with purple and black that apparently Vaughn would be wearing too. His off-season beard was growing in really nice and thick, almost making him unrecognizable. She was finding it turned her on more than she liked. But then, maybe it was him. All of him that had her trembling in her skin at the mere sight of him. “Your grumpiness doesn’t bother me.”

  “I just don’t want to ruin your time, or even anyone else’s. I’m so tired.”

  He looked back at her in the mirror, and she could see it in his eyes. He didn’t believe a damn word she was saying. “You were fine to go the other day.”

  “I know. I’m just not up to it.”

  “You sure it isn’t more?”

  Hell yeah, it was more than that! She was scared. Everything was happening so quickly. Her feelings were overwhelming for her, and Jensen was just… He was just…him. Jensen. Perfection in the form of a huge-ass goalie who somehow loved her insane ass. And watching him go at her parents? Yeah, that annihilated any walls around her heart and freaked her out. Because as much as she wanted to look into his dark brown eyes and tell him she loved him, she knew she had to tell him about Bradley.