“I am a Zobanite soldier, well-trained for battle,” Soman replied. “I can accept that I have the ability to destroy when I choose, but I am not powerless to this ability. It seems to me that you are disrupting Oneness by giving your power away to your ability to destroy.”
Gemynd looked at Soman and smiled. “In another life, you’d have made a fine Keeper, my friend. All those years in discipleship I thought you hadn’t paid attention to a single word Keeper Stout taught us. He’d be proud to hear you now.”
“Have you heard me, brother?” Soman asked. “Have you really heard me?”
Gemynd put his attention back on the rockwall. “I heard you and I agree. I am powerless to my destructive nature. And that is precisely why I am not going to Tolnick with you.”
Gemynd finished cutting all the stones he’d need and moved them near the Wishing Hut as he walked.
“There is something else you need to know. Something I don’t understand and yet I believe all Numa has said about the matter.” Soman shifted his weight, looking like a boy about to be taken to task.
“I’m guessing I won’t like this news.”
“I don’t understand enough about it to know whether you’ll like it or not.”
“Well, what is it?”
“Before coming here, we journeyed to the Skalja,” Soman began.
Gemynd nodded, remembering that Sam was going to lead them there to find Golath. “You already knew who killed Golath. Why did you make the journey there anyway?”
“Numa had hoped the Skalja could help her restore the race of Terrenes to Todor,” Soman answered.
“Did it work?” Gemynd asked, only then realizing how important that would be for Numa’s vision of Todor.
Soman looked into Gemynd’s eyes, his mind clearly trying to find the words to say all he needed to say. “We learned a great many things at the Skalja,” Soman said, pain clear on his face. “It’s not a place I wish to ever return to.”
“Brother, you look as though you’ve just watched a phantasm dine on your children,” Gemynd said, growing more alarmed by the moment. “Tell me what you have to say.”
The color drained from Soman’s face. “Your words are more accurate than you know. This was not part of the speech I had planned to give you, but I, too, now know the pain of losing my father.”
Gemynd stopped walking and faced Soman. “Archigahd?” he asked, alarmed. “What happened?”
“He chose to stay with the Skalja and was devoured by creatures there.”
Gemynd’s stomach turned at the thought. “I’m sorry, brother,” he said and pulled Soman into an embrace. “He was among the greatest men I ever knew.”
Soman pulled back and cleared his throat, clearly trying to keep his emotions under control. “Thank you, but we will discuss all that later. Right now, I need to tell you about the Terrenes.”
“Tell me, brother.”
“It’s just that I don’t know where to begin,” Soman said, scratching at the stubble on his head. “The Skalja taught us that the Terrenes were never really a different race. They were merely people who had never come to know their glinting powers. Every single person in Todor is a glinter. Terrenes were just those who didn’t know it.”
Gemynd blinked at Soman. Instantly, his mind flashed back to his wedding day. The day he had been torn from Aerie, from Soman, from Numa. “We were separated by a race of cowards and fools,” he growled, then snorted at the absurdity of it all. “Those cowards and fools sat on the throne of Todor for thousands of years. And your people fought to keep it that way.”
“Zobanites are known more for their loyalty than their cleverness,” Soman said quietly. There was no real heart in his defense. Gemynd could tell they shared the same feelings about this news.
Gemynd pinched the bridge of his nose. “All of the painful moments of my life were unnecessary,” he said. “Do you think Keeper Clary, your Ancestor Progon, knew this truth?”
Soman put his hands in the air. “I couldn’t even begin to guess. Perhaps he did. Perhaps he was a key part of keeping that secret. Or perhaps he was as unknowing as the rest of us.”
Gemynd sighed heavily. “Knowing this truth now changes nothing,” he said. “It is too late for that to make a difference. We will all move forward on the course we have laid out for ourselves.”
Soman let his head fall back, exasperated. “Your stubbornness will be the death of us all.”
“Precisely what I’m trying to avoid.” Gemynd resumed his work on the stone blocks, relieved that he was nearly finished.
“There’s more, you impulsive fool,” Soman said, turning to face him.
“Am I impulsive or stubborn, brother?”
“You are wholly both. As well as foolish, despite your brilliance. I have not yet told you the most important part and yet you’d rather argue with me than hear it.”
“What you have to say will not change my course now,” Gemynd said, moving the foundation blocks into place in a ring around the Wishing Hut. “But I can see that it will make you feel better to tell me, so tell me.”
Soman’s eyes moved from side to side as though he was once again, searching his mind for the right words. “In Skalja, Numa learned that she can move through time.”
Gemynd paused. The news was not surprising, given what Gemynd had seen Numa do. “She has seen the future?” he asked. “Then she already knows what I have decided.”
“I don’t think it works quite like that. I don’t know all the specifics, but there is one piece from the future that is the most important thing.”
Gemynd stopped his work again and faced Soman. “What is this one piece?”
“A child,” Soman answered. “Numa’s child.”
Gemynd felt his heart still. “In the future Numa has a child?” he asked, then held his breath. “Is the child mine?”
“Numa said she preferred to tell you the answer to that first, so I do not know.”
A heaviness sank to the bottom of Gemynd’s chest, pulling his heart with it. “Then the child is not mine,” he whispered. “Or she would not have had issue with saying so.”
Soman nodded. He had come to the same conclusion. “You do know the child. We all do. Numa brought her back in time.”
Gemynd thought for a moment. “Toa,” he said and felt an unbidden smile part his lips.
“Numa did tell me that Tatparo is Toa’s brother in spirit, but they don’t share blood. Toa does seem to have your eyes,” Soman offered. “She could be your daughter.”
Gemynd looked at the stone foundation he’d made around the Wishing Hut. Would the possibility of a child change his mind? He let himself feel the wonder of it and was consumed with longing. For Numa. For a child that may or may not be his. He pictured Toa’s sweet face and his heart surged with warmth. Could she really be his? But why would Numa keep that from Soman? “Did Numa explain any details about how she brought Toa through time?” he asked. “If Toa’s mother and father are not both there, at the time of her creation, will she cease to be?”
Soman shrugged. “Numa didn’t mention anything like that,” he said, but Gemynd did not feel reassured.
The same panicky sensation he’d experienced moments before, squeezed Gemynd’s stomach into a cramp and he doubled over, sucking in rapid breaths. “Tell me, brother, does Toa’s existence depend on the decision I make here today?”
“Calm, Gemynd, breathe,” Soman said, rubbing Gemynd’s back. “The Skalja said that Toa is the embodiment of Oneness and that she has the powers of all the races. She is definitely part Empyrean. She can move through time the way Numa can so her existence here has nothing to do with whatever may or may not happen in the future. She already exists. The future cannot change that.”
“How do you know such things?” Gemynd asked, looking over his shoulder at Soman.
“I saw Numa w
ith Toa.” Soman’s expression turned wistful. “She loves that child like nothing I’ve ever seen. She would not have brought her back in time if it jeopardized her existence. I am certain of that.”
Gemynd straightened, his lungs finally allowing a deep breath, though the feeling of longing in his chest had intensified. He could clearly imagine Numa’s face as she held her child, and he’d give just about anything to see it with his own eyes, to share in her Joy. “I’ve spent many hours dreaming of a family with Numa,” Gemynd said, lifting one foot up onto a stack of blocks. He leaned on his knee and looked out at the valley towards Tolnick. If he went there, he could know true Joy. But for how long? How much time would he have before he did something to destroy Numa.
“I’ve dreamt of a family with Numa too,” Soman said, his confession jolting Gemynd upright.
Gemynd turned and looked Soman in the eyes. His expression was sincere without even a trace of shame. “Ah, you’re hoping jealousy will push me to Tolnick.”
“No, I’m hoping reason will,” Soman said, crossing his arms over his chest. “We are all making sacrifices and facing fears in order to help Numa create her vision. I’ve let myself realize that my feelings for Numa run much deeper than friendship. But I am willing to live with whatever pain comes with that realization to put Numa’s vision first. Don’t you have it in you to stand up and change your nature--living with whatever pain that causes you--because it’s what’s best for Numa and for Todor?”
Gemynd felt the beast stir in his belly. The familiar heat of rage seeped through his veins and when it reached his brain, he heard the voice say, “Destroy him.” But Gemynd commanded his muscles to freeze. Over and over again, he pictured Soman’s giant hands on Numa’s perfect skin and he clamped his jaw shut against the thrumming need to tear Soman into pieces.
Gemynd kept his eyes locked on Soman’s, strangely finding peace within them. He would not allow himself to move until the voice ceased its directing. As he stared at Soman’s face, however, an image of Toa came to his mind and he saw the uncanny resemblance he’d never noticed before.
“Toa is yours,” he said through clenched teeth. “That is why Numa would not tell you. She wanted to do the right thing and tell me first.”
Soman tucked his chin, his brows pulling together. “Let us go to Tolnick and find out the truth from Numa.”
Gemynd swallowed back the sickness that resulted from ignoring the beast. He should throw his arms around Soman and jump up and down, celebrating the fact that he was capable of holding on to his power; that he did have the strength to choose his actions. But he did not feel like celebrating. In fact, he felt awful. It had taken everything he had not to give in. Would he always be that strong? And now that he knew how Soman felt about Numa, he’d have to fight the beast every single time he saw them together. Gemynd realized there was so much more at risk than destroying Numa and her vision. Toa and Soman were at risk as well. “I cannot go to Tolnick,” he said and turned back to stacking the blocks around the Wishing Hut.
Soman sighed loudly. “I will take you by force if need be, but you’re coming to Tolnick with me.”
Gemynd kept working, stacking the blocks until the foundation was sound and the ring around the Wishing Hut came up just past his knees. “Since we were children, you have always been the selfless one,” Gemynd said, pausing in his work to look at Soman. “Time and again, you sacrificed and made choices that put my needs first. Brother, please, let me be the selfless one this time. Just this once.”
“Whatever you’re thinking, don’t say it,” Soman interrupted.
“Be with Numa,” Gemynd said and an entirely new pain seared his heart. “Love her freely and with all of you. I give you my blessing.”
Soman closed his eyes and pressed a hand against his chest. He breathed deeply for several moments then said, “This is not about me or what I want. This is about Oneness for all of Todor.”
Again, Gemynd saw the image of Toa within Soman’s face and he knew he’d made the right decision. Although the pain of loss filled his heart, Gemynd felt peace there too. “Todor will have Oneness without me,” he said, hopping over the wall he’d built. In less than a moment, he stacked the rest of the blocks, sealing himself inside the Aerie keep.
Gemynd ducked inside the Wishing Hut, that was now surrounded by the new keep, and climbed down to the cavern below. He could hear Soman pounding on the stones above, but Gemynd knew he had made the keep perfectly with very thick stones. He also knew he could repair any cracks with his mind as quickly as Soman made them. Despite being a Zobanite, Soman would tire before Gemynd.
While Soman pounded away outside the keep, Gemynd set to work dismantling the Wishing Hut for the second time in his life. This time, however, he did it piece by piece, moving each board into the cavern below. Eventually he would turn his attention to building the Aerie pit and the wood would be quite useful.
As Gemynd sent the last two boards below, Soman’s pounding suddenly stopped. Reflexively, Gemynd looked at the walls of the keep, searching for any damage by the dim light of the oil lamps. But before he’d even made a full revolution, Gemynd felt her presence. Soman had stopped his pounding because Numa had arrived.
Just as soon as he’d had the thought, Gemynd watched Numa appear inside the keep. Her Iturtian breeches were tight along her legs and her blouse cropped so short that the skin of her abdomen was exposed. She wore her hair free and it spilled in waves over her shoulders and around her breasts.
“You’ve come to seduce me,” Gemynd said.
Numa smiled. “I’ve come to be with you, to talk with you.”
“You are no longer my wife. I freed you from your vows.”
“You don’t have the power to do that. Only I can release myself from vows I’ve made and I choose to maintain my vows to you. Gemynd, do you know how much I love you?”
Gemynd’s body tingled with a need to hold her. “I know you love me, I’ve never doubted it. And my love for you is greater than Todor itself. Our love is not the issue.”
“The issue is that you’ve left me and I need you to return to Tolnick.”
“You don’t need me in Tolnick, my love,” he said before she could finish her argument. “Your vision does not require me.”
“You are wrong about that,” she said walking closer to him. “You are necessary. My vision cannot become reality without you. Why are you being so stubborn about this?”
“It is my Iturtian nature,” Gemynd answered flippantly, not really thinking about what he said as Numa continued to close the distance between them.
“No, it is not Iturtian nature,” she said, rolling her eyes. “All of the living Iturtians in Todor are happy to follow me. They have pledged me their loyalty and trust me to lead. All except you, that is. Why don’t you trust me to lead?”
Gemynd wrinkled his brows. “It has nothing to do with that,” he insisted. “I do trust you to lead. I don’t trust myself to follow.”
“If you truly trusted me to lead you, it wouldn’t matter if you trusted yourself.” Numa took Gemynd’s hand and he let her hold it, feeling the love there. “I need you with me. Isn’t that enough for you? And, anyway, so what if you do end up destroying me? Can’t we be together until then?”
Gemynd reached up and traced Numa’s jawline with his finger. “You don’t mean that,” he said, focusing on her mouth, wanting to lean in and taste its sweetness. “You cannot risk your vision of Todor that way.”
Numa tipped her head back, pulling away from his touch and looked up at the keep that surrounded them. “What is this place? What have you built?”
Gemynd smiled, trying to look proud of his creation. “This is my own tiny piece of Todor, the Kingdom of Aerie,” he said and bowed low with flourish. “King Gemynd at your service.”
Numa narrowed her eyes. “You can’t have Aerie,” she said. “You can’t crawl off and cl
aim your own little corner of Todor and expect me to look away, letting you hide for the rest of your life. Aerie belongs to Todor.”
Gemynd scratched his chin, feeling the growth of whiskers there. “My love, we are at a standstill and I have no solutions to offer,” he said, then took both of her hands, pressing them against his chest. “What I know to be true in my heart is that I cannot be responsible for destroying you or your Todor. The only way I know to ensure that is to stay away from you.”
Numa twisted her right wrist until her hand was free of Gemynd’s grasp. Then, before he could react, Numa grabbed Gemynd’s dagger from his belt and held its point against his chest. “Do you realize that all of the options you offer leave me destroyed?” She pressed the dagger harder against him, her eyes burning with anger. “You claim you will destroy me if you are with me, and I know I will be destroyed without you. I beg you, my love, choose differently. Decide that you can control your actions, that you can choose not to destroy. Gemynd, please!”
Gemynd let a soft chuckle escape his lips. “You’re not going to kill me, my love. Begging me to stay with you by threatening to end my life makes no kind of sense at all.”
Numa pushed at the dagger again. “But you have become my greatest obstacle, I am certain of that now. My greatest obstacle must be removed. Whatever it takes. Don’t you understand? You are choosing to do the very thing you are afraid of. If you don’t come to Tolnick with me now, Todor will be destroyed. If you don’t choose to be something other than my greatest obstacle, then I must destroy you.”
Numa’s eyes were wild with desperation and her lips trembled uncontrollably. Gemynd’s heart shattered at his wife’s distress. “My love, our paths have led us to this place where it is inevitable that I hurt you. There is no future--whether it is a moment from now or years ahead--where I don’t cause you pain. I already have,” Gemynd said as he heard his father’s words in his mind over and over again, the words that reminded him that he knew all too well the pain of destroying something he loved. He looked down at the dagger against his chest, at the way Numa’s hand shook on its handle. In that moment, Gemynd knew he would do what was right. He would not let Numa bear the burden of having to destroy what she loves.
Unity: The Todor Trilogy, Book Three Page 23