by Marie Hall
"I… do not understand."
"No, you might not. Io, I trust you." He pulled her a little closer until he could lean forward and place his lips on her knuckles. "I trust you in every manner vital to our relationship. I trust you will not be unfaithful, I trust you would never be harmful of my reputation, you would never waste either my monies or my resources, you would never harm the people who serve me. I trust greatly you will always do everything in your power to attend every duty that is yours as my lady, and many that are not yours but you see a need to have done." He placed another kiss on her fingers. "I trust you, Io, and I know I am blessed to be able to do so, for you are rare in these qualities."
"Then what trust is lacking?" she asked, even as she scooted closer to him.
"Perhaps trust you will sometimes act completely contrary to how I would want you to? Trust you will simply take my word and let it be settled." She gave him an odd look. "Io, I should know better than to assume matters I find irrelevant may not be to you. I have learned, through some rather harsh lessons, you do not see things as I do in some matters. I suppose I trusted more than I should have you would have come to me that we might discuss them and—"
"I did," Io bit out.
"You did, but you did not come back when the response I gave was not satisfactory." She frowned but nodded. "I know you went to others. I would have you do that often, but I need to trust you will always come back and demand satisfaction before you think to act in any way that might require you to be less than direct in your intent."
"It was not my intent to manipulate anyone."
"I think it was. You needed to have something as you wanted, and you worked to make it happen, but it is something everyone does. I should trust in common nature. I cannot think why I think you should be above it in every instance." Again, he kissed her hand and then, leaning forward, folded it between both of his. "Perhaps it is not lack of trust in you, but in myself. I trusted I knew when you needed more than a basic answer. I trusted I would see when you struggled with something I thought dealt with."
"Overconfident I would not disappoint you?" Io asked, more shame in her voice than he liked.
"No, overconfident I would not disappoint you. I had quite the long stretch going there. Perhaps I became lazy." That elicited a smile from her. "I will do better again." Now he scooted closer, lifting her legs so they lay over his thighs and around his waist. "But I need you to do more too, Io. I need you to push harder when there are questions. Because, I assure you, at court, this will happen again and again. The people there all have various motivations and means, but they all want the same thing. More power, more status… they will say and do things hoping people will act as they want. Like Artus did. And you must weigh carefully their words and actions. And while I have every confidence you will make many sound judgments on your own, you must come to me or to the men when something seems… not correct."
"I do not want to continue on. I do not think I will do well there," Io said as she bent and placed the top of her head against his chest.
"Io, you will do exceedingly well; you are capable and clever and—"
"I am not," she yelled, jerking back then scrambling to her feet. "I am not. I tried to prove that very thing and only ended up proving the very opposite." She turned and, wrapping her arms around herself, paced away before turning back. "Beyond the walls of your house, beyond the borders of your lands, I am useless, incompetent and likely to be found unworthy to continue as your wife."
"Io, no one will think that," Xavier said, climbing to his feet. "No one will have any reason to think that."
"Yes, they will. They will all think that. The very way you treat me will make them think that."
"The way I treat you?" Xavier stopped his pursuit. "How do I treat you that anyone would think you are not competent?"
"You treat me as if I am incapable of the least little things. I cannot do anything without fifty nursemaids swarming around, least I trip over my own feet in the doing."
"Io," Xavier shouted, hoping she'd at least stop walking away from him. "Io, turn around and look at me." She did, and he gave thanks as he could get closer. "I am not treating you as if you are incapable. Io, you are restricted as we travel and heavily guarded because—"
"I am worthless as anything but your whore out here," Io shouted and flailed about a bit.
"Io," Xavier shouted, grabbing her to stop her thrashing about. "That is not true. You know it is not."
"I know no such thing. There is nothing I can do at all here, at court, which will show anyone I am not just good at spreading my legs." She sagged a bit before again stiffening.
"Io, most anything you do, you say, will show anyone who needs to see, you are beyond capable of many things."
"What will I do or say at all with so many men crowding me all the time?"
"You only have this level of security while we travel. Once we are settled, it need not be so intense. But you will accept it now." Xavier tightened his grip as she tried to pull away. He did wonder if she was again trying to manipulate him into lessening the numbers of soldiers, but he realized, almost instantly, she was reacting to something else. "I do not understand your protest, Io."
"I do not want them to think I am a stupid, useless woman, unbefitting a man of your status," she yelled and jerked free for a moment before he again grabbed her.
"No one will."
"They will."
"They, who?" He certainly expected some to be critical of her but not as she feared.
"Them." She sounded rather specific.
"Who?"
"The royals, your king, will think me unfit. He is going to regret uniting us. He will—"
"Io, why do you believe this. I assure you, he is not going to think any such thing."
"He will," she insisted.
Denying what she said now wasn't going to move her off her stance. "Io, why would you think the king would find you unfit, useless? Do you think he has no idea what to expect from you? I assure you, he knows well what he will see when you meet. I have not withheld from him how you can be, how you are, and how very much I love both. He made no indication he is anything but well received of our marriage. Why would he now think otherwise, but that we are well suited?"
"His Highness did," she sniffed.
"Artus?"
Nodding, she added, "He found me completely worthless and useless."
"What matters what he thought. He is no one worth hearing opinions from."
"He is a royal," she yelled.
"Barely," Xavier countered. "And his is not the opinion of the crown."
"It will be, once I am before it."
"Io—" he started, but she cut him off.
"I will be found unworthy, and I will have no way to prove I am not."
"Io, I have told you," he ground out. "You have nothing to prove to anyone."
"I have no way to prove anything to anyone, you mean."
"No, I mean you have nothing to prove."
"Because I am useless, worthless," she screeched and broke free his hold.
"No, because you have nothing to prove. You have no one who can come close to standing in judgment of you." He stalked around the small campfire before he caught her again.
"Everyone will judge me. He will judge me. And I have no way to prove anything. You thwart all my attempts, and any attempt I manage only proves exactly what is thought of me. That I am not suitable."
"You have nothing to prove," Xavier yelled back.
"I do," she screamed as she fought to get away.
"You do not." He tried to make that as final as he could, but Io wasn't having any of it. Her fight to get away was going to end with both of them injured. "Io, enough," he tried again to get her to yield. "Enough," This time when her fist clipped the side of his head, he jerked her around, lifted his leg to set his foot on the trunk of the tree and then pulled her over. The shirt rose, exposing her arse, and he brought his hand down hard right in the center.
/> Io's scream echoed.
He brought his hand down again.
"Stop!"
"You have nothing to prove to anyone," he said, punctuating each word with a solid blow to one side then the other. "Nothing to prove to king or peasant. Your very being is proof enough that you are strong." His hand cracked down. "Capable." Again, Io yelled for him to stop. "And worthy enough you should be out of reach of mere mortals." He dropped his foot and held Io up by her arm long enough to get his arm around her waist and pull her against him. "You have met every challenge life has ever put before you. No one who cannot already see this is worth your consideration. And no one who will not give you reverence for all the trials you have endured will ever give you such, no matter what proof you try and set before them." He pulled her even closer, relieved when her arms went around his neck. "You have proven all you will ever need to everyone, but maybe yourself. You must start believing in yourself, Io. You must start seeing what I see, what all our people see. That you are invaluable. No one could replace you. No one wants you replaced." Turning them, he pressed back again the tree and eased them to the ground. "And it could not matter in the least how another might value you; to me, you are life. I could not exist without you. You are the air I breathe, the beat of my heart. My goddess who gives me reason for being."
"I have value," she repeated against his neck as she curled more into his lap.
"Of course, you do, great value," Xavier reassured again.
"He said I did not," Io said with a shudder.
"His opinion matters not."
"He is a royal?"
"He is from that blood line." Xavier wouldn't concede that man was even a man.
"They might think as he does."
"Io, he shares blood, but he shares nothing else. He is not in favor at court. He does not dare show his face most days. If he is there, he lurks in the shadows."
"He could someday rule."
Xavier wondered now if Artus might have said something to Io to make her think he'd one day have power to pull her from him. "Io, do you know how many would have to die before he could ever claim the throne?" She lifted her head to look at him then and he smiled a bit. "Not only the king, but both the king's young sons, the king's uncles, on his father's side, and the sons of those brothers. I am going to make a wild guess and say if people start dying off, people will also start walking to the gallows. You can be assured, before I ever let so many die, I will end a few lives on my own, and that prince will not be last on my list."
She continued to look at him a long while before setting her head on his shoulder and pulling herself closer. "He said he saw no worth in my person."
"He lied. And you believed him? I do not understand why? Worse, you still believe."
"Why, worse?"
"Io." He chuckled. "Listen to what you say. Remember what he said and then compare that to his actions. If he really thought you to have no worth, do you not think he might have commented more on the waste of manpower to keep you safe? No one protects what has no value, Io. You do not put common rocks under lock and key; you only put gems there. If he thought at all you held no worth, do you think he would have tried to use you to pay his debt? Did he say to anyone, 'Here is a woman, try to ransom her for some amount and let that be enough that I owe you nothing?' Or did he say, 'Here, this lady is worth what is needed to pay my debt'?"
Again, she lifted her head to stare at him. With a sniff and a shrug, she lay down again. "Mostly the latter."
"Indeed," Xavier said, squeezing her tighter. "He put a much different kind of value on you, Io, but he put one on you nonetheless. And the people at court will do the same. The king will do the same. I think, it is truth to say, he already did place a great value on you. He never once rewarded me with anything less than the very best. And I did something quite spectacular to be rewarded with you."
She shifted, pulling up against him and putting her face in the crook of his neck. "I am sorry," she sobbed out softly.
"It is settled, Io. We will be all right. We are strong together." He held her and stroked her back for a time until he felt her relax and settle. He eased her from his lap, back onto the pallet so she was again between his legs but, this time, lying, not sitting. He barely had her properly covered when her eyes closed and her breathing evened out. She needed rest. The emotional outburst had drained her.
Glancing at the sun, he guessed it to be not yet sext. He'd let her sleep until then and start them moving. Io didn't stir when he slid out from under her and packed up their belongings. He redressed, using the shirt he'd dried her with, but he stuffed her dress in his bags. His cloak was with the horse and after tightening the saddle cinch and tying on the bags, he pulled it down.
Io woke as she normally did, with muttered curses and a frown, and she protested some when he only allowed her to wrap in his cloak rather than don the dirty gown. She also protested how he sat her, backward in the saddle, before mounting behind her, but when she realized this allowed her to lean against him completely, she ended those complaints.
He didn't return to the road, but cut across the fields and meadows toward Tindale. He did ask Io to say what she had told Mark, how she had escaped. He'd felt the burn in his gut when she said the pig had handed her over and then fled. But that was quickly washed away by the pride he felt in how she was careful to not say more than she had to each time she did say anything, how she was so easily able to time each release of information for its best impact, and how she held her own, even when she'd been justified to cower in fear or beg. He laughed out loud when she apologized for saying he'd pay so much for her return. He assured her, he'd pay and that he carried such a great amount on him as to not need to seek credit to do so.
He also took some time to better inspect the cuts on her hands and arms, now realizing they weren't injuries caused by her foray into filth. And he teased her he'd give her lessons on how to better make her escapes. Though, when she took interest in the statement, he realized she might actually benefit from such.
He kept them traveling a few hours past dark, but as they entered the forest, he stopped them. He gave Io the roll of furs and padding to spread while he saw to his horse. When he joined her, she was up on her knees in the middle of the bedding waiting, only his shirt covering her. He pulled off his shirt, bent to untie the laces on his boots then toe them off before reaching for the ties holding his britches. It was Io's hands that found them first.
Her touch was bold as she put her palms against his thighs and smoothed upward to his groin. Her fingers, nimble, worked open his codpiece then loosened his drawers. His pants fell a bit, catching around his upper thighs where Io rested her cheek. But she shifted, using one hand to tug at them while her other hand swept up the inside of his groin and carefully cupped his cock.
"Io," he ground out and tried, halfheartedly, to stop her, only to give up when she knocked his hand away and continued. Her other hand joined the first, which was firmly but gently cupping and pulling at his sac to hold his shaft which swelled more as she squeezed and then released several times. Not until he saw her lean in and prepare to swallow him did he act to truly stop her. Stepping back and taking her by the chin, he said, "Io, no." Her confusion was instant, and then insult settled on her. "Io, this is not necessary."
"I need to," she almost purred, trying to set her mouth on him.
"Io, no, you do not. I do not want you to do this because…" He wasn't totally sure why she felt compelled. "If this is only because you… feel compelled, you think I want you to show… give more … I have accepted all apology you offer. You need not be more contrite."
"Xavier," Io said, looking up from where she knelt before him. "I am sorry. I am contrite. My actions were very poorly thought out, if I really thought about them at all. I know what I did was offensive to you, to everyone who cares for me. I was deserving of the punishment I received at your hand. But it is not for any of that I do this." She tightened her grip then slid her hand along his length
a few times. "I need this. I want this. For all the things I feared I'd lost when I feared I'd lost you. This was perhaps the least of them, but it is the one that so completely, easily, demonstrates our need and want of each other. The pleasures we take in each other. You tell me, always, I am the only one who can do this to you. I would know again that is still true."
"Io." Again, he stepped back and took hold of her chin. "I would need you even if we could not."
"I know," she said then leaned in and licked the head of his throbbing cock. "But tonight, we can, so let me. Please, my lord."
His hand dropped away and he took a step closer. Io's lips slid over him, her mouth going from warm to hot, the deeper she took him in. Her fist wrapped around him in the space left between as far as her mouth reached and his groin. When she pulled her mouth back, her hand followed, and when she came down his length, her fist held on. All that, and the other hand still stroked, tugged, and supported his balls. That she was a master at this, was not a surprise. That she was so willing, amazed.
She took her time, never rushing, changing enough of what she did or how she did it to prevent him from holding his control for long. Several times, she touched him and sent painful pleasure through him, buckling his knees. Through her own will, she'd both take him to the brink then back him away from it. The longer she persisted, though, the less control either of them maintained.
"Io," he pleaded as she again brought him near the end. "Io, let me see to you." If she didn't, he might not last once he made it in. Her response was mumbled and clearly indicated a negative answer. "Io, you need," he started, only to have the air pulled out when she moved his cock and took his sac in her mouth. "Io, have mercy," he gasped out. She gave him none. Moments later, the pleasure became too great, and with a pull that came from deep in his gut, his release happened. Io's hand working it during, to keep the most intense of the sensations alive until his knees did buckle and he pulled away from her touch to even breathe.
Gasping out several times, he found enough strength to laugh a little. "Io, my little goddess," he said, trying to push his britches off the rest of the way so he might come down beside her and return the favor. "You are better than anything I have ever known in this life. I cannot think Heaven would be more a pleasure."