I’m not thrown backward. I’m not falling to my knees in excruciating pain because I don’t belong. I’m not… whatever it actually is… that happens to someone deemed unworthy, which means my heart is still pure.
I’m not evil.
I release the breath held in my lungs and crack open my eyes one at a time, taking in the rubble of the warehouse floor with new appreciation. The pile of bricks and dust underneath the hole in the roof, the tree growing in the corner, the mural of the angel on the wall, the secondhand furniture around a table made of milk crates and a dry erase board—they’re all the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.
“I’m not evil!” I shout, scaring a few birds into fight. They swoop up through the hole in the roof and disappear into the sunlight. Giggles bubble up my throat and I turn around, jumping straight into Sebastian’s arms. He catches me, wrapping his arms underneath my bottom as I lock my legs around his waist. He stumbles back into the now locked door, and I squeeze his face between my hands. “I’m not evil.”
Before he can say a thing, I press my lips against his, pouring a tidal wave of emotions into the kiss: my fears, my relief, my happiness, my excitement, the lingering doubts still quietly whispering in the back of my mind. Everything. All I wanted was for him to tell me everything was going to be okay, that I was okay. And when he did, I was so afraid it wasn’t true I couldn’t let myself believe it. But I’m here, and I wasn’t denied entry, and I will never, ever risk losing any of this again. I need to come clean about the Book of Shadows, about Evan, about all of it.
But not yet. Right now, I just want to be happy in this moment.
I sweep the tip of my tongue over Sebastian’s bottom lip, savoring the taste of him. A soft moan escapes from his mouth between kisses as he grips me tighter. Pushing away from the door, he carries me further into the building without a single misstep which is impressive considering the neglected, abandoned look the center keeps up here. He comes to a stop at the big red sofa where he rests a knee onto the cushion and twists around, laying me down in one fluid motion.
The weight of his body presses against mine, eliminating every inch of space between us as he trails a series of soft kisses down the side of my neck. I slip my hands under the hem of his shirt, running my fingers over the small of his back. Goose bumps rise over his skin at my touch, making me want to touch him even more, especially when I graze over the scars his father gave him, and he doesn’t pull away.
Finding my mouth once again, he takes his time kissing me excruciatingly slow, the touch of his lips feather soft as they move in tandem with mine. Leaving me wanting more, he pulls back with a smile worthy of melting my insides. “I told you, you aren’t evil.”
I stare up into the depths of his eyes, completely caught up in him. I don’t know how I ever thought I could stay away. Whether there’s darkness in me or not, he’s the one good thing to come out of all this mess. Granted, it didn’t start out that way when I thought he was a creep who stared a lot. But the more time we spent together and the more I got to know him, the more connected to him I felt. He’s just as much a part of me now as I am a part of him. I should only ever be running toward him, not away. Never away.
“I’m sorry I disappeared the way I did. I swear I never meant to hurt you or make you worry. After what happened at the diner and then waking up in the white room, I was terrified. Terrified of the darkness I felt inside. Terrified you would hate me. That my cousins would hate me. That I had become some vile thing worthy of being chased down. All I wanted to do was run away because I thought everyone would be safer that way.” I bite my lip as tears spill free from the corners of my eyes without restraint. “You are the last person in the world I would ever want to hurt.”
He shifts his weight to the side so he can wipe the tears from my face without crushing me beneath him. “I forgive you. Anyone in your position would have been scared. I would have been scared. But you’re not alone in this, Indi. I’m with you all the way, no matter what happens. Where you go, I go.”
“I love you.” The moment the words leave my mouth, I know them to be true. I feel it with every fiber of my being. Sebastian Chase has made his way to my heart, and there’s no more denying it.
His eyes widen, his pupils becoming a large sphere of black surrounded by a deep sea of blue. “What did you say?”
“About me being sorry?” I keep my face serious as I bite the inside of my lip to keep from smiling. I know exactly what he’s asking about, but it’s my turn to have a little fun playing dumb and teasing him like he’s so fond of doing to me.
“No. Not that part. After that.”
I bite my lip harder, but it’s no match for the smile breaking through. “Oh, you mean the part where I said I love you?”
A grin spreads over his face from ear to ear. “You love me?”
“So much it hurts,” I say, repeating the same thing he said when I questioned him after he’d told me he was falling for me after our last training session. So much has happened since then, and even though it hasn’t been that long, it’s been long enough to know I never want to hold back. Not when it comes to him. Not ever. Not when the time we have is fleeting.
“No one’s said that to me in a very long time.”
“No one?”
“No one.”
“Then let me say it again. I love you.”
His mouth crashes down onto mine, both demanding and giving. It stirs up every butterfly in existence to take flight within my belly. Just when I think I’m about to die of suffocation in the best way possible, he pulls back. “I love you, too, Indiana Grace Bellamy. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you.”
“Aww.”
Sebastian jerks to the side, the both of us looking up at Chester.
Elbows perched on the back of the sofa and his chin in his hands, he flutters his lashes. “Aren’t you two adorable?”
Not even the unusual allure of Chester’s creepy blown out iris can keep me from burying my face beneath my hands. If only I could melt into the cushions. “Hi, Chester,” I mumble from beneath my palms.
“Hello, Indiana. I’m glad to see Sebastian found you alright.”
The sofa rocks beneath me, followed by a loud oomph from Chester. I crack my fingers apart, peeking through to see him rubbing his upper arm while smiling down at Sebastian.
“Are they here?”
Liv’s panicked voice has me bolting upright and shoving Sebastian off the sofa, and onto the floor.
“Liv?”
Her eyes jerk in my direction, and I suck in a breath. Something’s wrong. She bursts into tears, her eyes already swollen and bloodshot. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Jack. He’s… he’s…” She stares down at the phone cradled in her hand. “Oh God, I’m going to have to call Mom and Dad. How am I going to tell them?” She brings the phone up, her hands trembling so badly it slips from her fingers when she tries to swipe her thumb across the screen. It lands at her feet with an audible crack.
My chest hollows out, leaving behind a burning emptiness. “Aunt Claudia and Uncle Caleb have to know what?” When she doesn’t answer, I jump over the sofa and grab hold of her shoulders. She jerks away like my hands are poisonous, and she can’t stand to be touched by them. Whatever it is, it’s clear she blames me.
“Liv, what is wrong with Jack? Tell me what’s happening.” The devastation and anger in her eyes rocks me to my core. Without waiting to hear the words set to rip my world apart, I bolt for the secret entrance.
11
“Come on, come on, come on.” I pound the elevator doors in an irrational attempt to speed up its descent. Why is it taking so long? The main floor of the center is not that far down. The moment the elevator reaches the bottom, I jam my fingers between the doors to pull them apart faster, squeezing myself through the crack the moment there’s enough room.
The desk across the way is empty with Chester being upstairs, giving me no one to ask where I should go. In all the times I’ve been here
, I’ve only ever been to the simulation room, the training room, and whatever room it was they stuck me in after the diner incident. I look up and down the hall, having no clue which way I should go.
The longer I stare at the halls before me, the more the walls start to move. Tilting and swaying, the outer edges turn a fuzzy gray as my heart pounds and pounds within my chest. The beats are so loud. And I don’t know where Jack is. And I don’t know where I’m supposed to go. And I can’t breathe. And gah, can my heart not be so loud? I bang the palm of my hand against my chest to get it to quiet, but it doesn’t work, so I slam my hands over my ears, hoping to drown it out instead. I hear it even louder.
Thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud.
Jack was supposed to be okay. Sebastian said the Venari healers were with him in his text, and I thought…
I smash my fists down on the countertop overlooking Chester’s desk, then kick it too for good measure. I’m so stupid. I never should have run away. I never should have left Jack after what happened to him at the diner. If he dies now, it’ll be my fault because I should have been here. I could have helped him like I did Sebastian.
Maybe I still can.
Maybe it’s not too late.
Please, please, please don’t let it be too late. It can’t be too late. It can’t.
Thoughts of Aunt Claudia and Uncle Caleb collapsing to their knees in despair over losing their only son assault my mind with vicious clarity. Each tear they shed—a knife through my chest. I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut as I push the nightmare out of my mind.
I twist around, the walls spinning out of control now. I crash back into the desk, gripping the edges to keep myself upright.
Get it together, Indi. Now is not the time to freak out. Jack needs you.
Staring at the floor, I force myself to breathe. In for seven. Out for eleven. In for seven. Out for eleven. As my heart rate slows and my breathing regulates, a tingling sensation tugs at the center of my chest. Its pull beckoning me to follow it.
Jack.
Hot tears run down my cheeks, the soles of my Chucks slapping against the tiled floor as I run full speed down the hall to my right. I pass room after room, turn corner after corner, go down hallway after hallway until I finally come to a screeching halt outside a set of double doors. I rub the palm of my hand in circles over the center of my chest. He’s in there. I can feel him. And he’s not alone.
I push through the doors, letting them swing back and forth behind me. “Jack?”
The room goes silent as three sets of eyes turn my way from the faces of two insanely tall identical dudes I’ve never seen before and the girl with hot pink hair from the park. They each stand around Jack’s bed with their hands held over his body. Dark circles underline their eyes. Sweat soaked strands of hair stick to the edges of their faces. They look like they’ve just run a marathon and are about two minutes away from hitting the floor.
“Everybody out.” It comes out harsher than I intend, but if I’m going to do what I need to do, I prefer it be without an audience. Too many questions will pop up if they stay, and I am in no way prepared to answer them.
No one moves.
“I said get out!”
All three flinch at my outburst, but still don’t budge.
“Do you people not speak English? I said get out! Now!” The lights overhead flicker on and off, my hair whipping over my face in curly locks of dark red from a sudden wind at my back. “Leave!”
The twins raise their hands in surrender and take a step back from Jack’s bed. Giving me a wide berth, they rush out the doors behind me without a word of objection. The pink-haired girl gives me the side eye, but ultimately decides to leave too. Smart girl.
I shift my gaze to the figure of light standing in the corner. No discernable features can be made out, not even to tell if it’s male or female, but I know what he or she is. I saw another just like him or her at the diner, coming for the soul of the man I couldn’t save. He or she is an angel of death.
“I know why you’re here, and you can’t have him.” Keeping the angel in my sights, I move to the side of the bed. “It’s not his time yet.”
I take Jack’s hand into mine, the tether pulling me toward him growing stronger within my chest. Across the room, the angel doesn’t move an inch or say a word. The silence stretching between us kicks my heartbeats into high gear, while the angel’s gaze becomes almost tangible the longer he or she stands there staring. A nervous sweat blooms over my body, the self-preserving voice in the back of my mind telling me not to do anything confrontational. I ignore it and narrow my gaze. I will not give up on Jack, even if it means I have to sacrifice myself.
“Don’t do anything stupid like trying to stop me, or I’ll make you regret it,” I say with as much conviction as I can stuff into the threat. It’s probably—and by probably I mean definitely—going to come back and bite me in the butt one day, and likely soon, threatening an angel of death the way I just did. But right now I don’t care. Saving Jack is my only concern. The rest I can deal with later. What’s one more problem added to the pile, right?
Having no other choice but to trust the angel won’t move from his or her spot in the corner, I close my eyes, and open myself up to the beyond. Ancient words spill from my mouth in a quiet whisper. The same ones I called forth when I brought Sebastian back from the brink of death after a vampire had cracked his head open with a baseball bat. A brush of warm air sweeps around my body, and when I open my eyes, Jack is standing before me. No longer in the infirmary, a vast darkness surrounds us, but instead of it being cold or uninviting or even scary, it’s oddly peaceful and soothing.
“Indi?” He throws his arms around my neck in a tight embrace. “Thank the heavens. Where are we? The last thing I remember is being at the diner. We were under attack, and this hipster vampire wearing a beanie was coming at me. The bastard bit me.” He pulls away suddenly, all the color draining from his face. “Wait. Am I dead? I’m dead, aren’t I?”
He flings his arms out then slaps them back down to his sides before taking up pacing back and forth. “I can’t believe it. I’m dead. I’ve got a biology test this upcoming week I studied my butt off for, and now I’m dead. It’s not fair.” He stops in front of me. “Are you dead too? Is that why you’re here?” He grips onto my shoulders, his eyes widening to the fullest extent as his gaze darts over the emptiness surrounding us. “Liv? Sebastian? Are they here too? Are we all dead?” He lets go, throwing his head back with a grunt. “This really sucks, Indi. When Mom and Dad find out we’re all dead... they’re going to kill us.”
“Jack.” I pull his hands apart to stop him from picking at his nails. “Calm down. Nobody is dead—entirely,” I say, adding that last bit under my breath. “Liv, Sebastian, and I are fine, but—”
“But I’m not fine. Am I?”
“Not exactly.”
Behind him and to the left, a door appears, a ring of glowing white light seeping through the cracks.
He gazes over his shoulder at it. A deep sigh sags his entire posture. “That’s my door, isn’t it?”
Everything in me wants to say yes and to lead him through it because that’s the way it’s supposed to be. I feel it deep inside my bones. And, if I’m being honest, it’s a truth I’ve always known. It’s the cosmic order. You live, you die, you move on to whatever’s next. You don’t come back.
But I also know rules can be broken, and for Jack, I will break them all if I have to. I can’t lose another family member. I just can’t.
“It doesn’t have to be.” The moment the words leave my mouth, a second door appears on the right. “I can bring you back.”
“How?” His gaze bounces back and forth between the two doors before settling on me. He studies my face like he’s seeing me for the first time.
“I don’t know. I just know I can. The same way I know the door on the left will take you into the afterlife, and the door on the right will bring you back.”
“Have yo
u done this before? Have you brought someone back?” He looks at me a little closer and I can all but see the gears grinding in his mind. “You have, haven’t you? How did I not know about this? We’re not supposed to have any more secrets between us, Indi. You swore on it.”
My shoulders droop. “I know. I’m sorry. I was going to tell you.”
He throws up a hand. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter now.” He glances at me from the corner of his eye. “Out of curiosity, who did you bring back?”
“Sebastian.”
His head whips in my direction. “When did you bring Sebastian back from the dead?”
“I’ve brought him back twice, actually, but that’s not important right now. What is important is what you choose to do. I can’t make you come back. You have to want to.” I hold my hand out to him. “Do you want to?” Please, say you do.
He places his hand in mine. “Of course I want to. I’m not going to let all the studying I did for biology be for nothing.” He flashes a smile, and I laugh. Only Jack would make some lame-brained joke while standing in the in-between.
I give his hand a squeeze. “Then let’s go home.”
Warm blinding white light has my eyes closing against the intensity as Jack and I walk through the door on the right, hand in hand.
The sound of doors banging off the walls has me jumping straight up in the air and my eyes flying open. Liv stands within the threshold, the look in her eyes half-crazed before she zeroes in on Jack coming to on the bed.
“Jack?”
“Hey, sis.”
“You’re okay?” She’s across the room in zero point two seconds flat, her body sailing straight into his unprepared arms. “The chasers told me they didn’t think you were going to make it. They said they were going to keep your body and watch you on the off chance you’d swallowed vampire blood. If you had, and you rose from the dead, then they’d stake you. All I could think about was what I would tell Mom and Dad.” She pulls back long enough to rake her gaze over every inch of him before wrapping her arms back around his neck. “But obviously they were wrong in their assumptions, because here you are.”
Of Darkness & Light: Blood Descent Book 2 Page 11