It had been so easy to put her out of his mind over the years with all the missions and danger to occupy his thoughts. He had to keep his focus. There hadn’t been time for relationships.
Sure, there was the occasional woman, but even then it wasn’t about making something meaningful. Just scratching an itch. It was about meeting a need, and that was it.
Scratching an itch? Maybe that was all he needed.
Johnny reached down and ran his soapy palm against his hard cock. He closed his eyes and tried to picture Maddy there with him, naked and wet, her blond hair matted to her face and red lips parted slightly. As if she were mid-sigh.
His hand moved up and down, squeezing around the head as he worked it. His cock stiffened even more.
And then he was seeing that same face, but only now she was swallowing him, shoving his whole length into her mouth as she bobbed against him.
Johnny stifled the moan that hit his throat. The vision of her there with him, sucking on his cock, was nearly enough to make him come right then. He could all but feel her mouth on him.
His hand sped up as he imagined her sucking on him, her pretty blue eyes staring up at him as she pulled him deeper and deeper in, her tongue playing over his length and tip.
His cock swelled. He leaned against the shower wall as his fist pumped furiously. Johnny pictured her pulling him deep inside as he closed his eyes and came hard.
When he opened his eyes, Johnny shook a little from the strength of the release. He held his hands in the stream to clean them off before running the water over himself and sighing loudly.
The self-pleasure had relieved the immediate need, but now he ached to be inside her, to actually feel her against him.
He turned his face to the spray and sighed. This wasn’t going to work. He needed to stay away from her. Everything he’d said to her about them being together was true. It was a bad idea for many reasons. Still, he wanted her.
How the hell was he supposed to stay the fuck away from her when she was the only think he could think about?
Nothing had changed over the years. He loved her then and loved her now. The only difference today was that he wouldn’t be in the Navy much longer.
He’d still have a dangerous job though, one where he’d likely be asked to put his life on the line at some point. Was it fair to ask her to be with a man who might get killed? To force her to wait up at night wondering if he was all right?
He thought of Trent and Lisa. It hadn’t seemed to stop them from having something more. But Lisa wasn’t Maddy.
Johnny shook his head.
Not that Trent or Rich would be thrilled with him being with Maddy. And he couldn’t really blame them.
She deserved more than that. More than him. Of course all this was assuming that she’d even have him. After last night it was clear that although she might be interested in him sexually, he had hurt her when he turned her down before. The tears in her eyes had spoken more than any words ever could.
He turned off the water and sighed. The whole thing was just fucked up. He’d be miserable if he didn’t do anything or risk everything for the chance. After all he’d been through, he just wasn’t sure it was a risk he could even take. Fighting terrorists was easy compared to this shit.
He stepped out of the shower and looked around the room for a towel. He frowned and opened the cabinet under the sink. Nothing.
It dawned on him that last night he’d grabbed a towel from the linen closet in the hall.
His gaze hit the rack next to the sink. A hand towel. It wasn’t much, but it would cover well enough if he was quick about getting to the closet.
Johnny peeked out the door and was surprised to find Maddy standing in the exact spot he wanted to be.
Her back was to him as she swung her hips in time to some song she was listening to through her ear buds.
He couldn’t help the smile that came. She looked so damn hot there in those short shorts, her tiny little ass just asking for him to come and give some serious attention to it. He hardened.
To hell with everything. For years he had told himself that she was the one thing he couldn’t have, that he had to sacrifice his chance at happiness in service to protecting his country.
Now he’d been home for less than twenty-four hours, and she was all he could think of.
Maddy was his. She’d always been his. It was time he stopped pretending they weren’t good for one another and started living.
Maddy reached up high to place the last towel on the shelf. It was amazing to her how much laundry her dad could go through all on his own.
Her mind flashed to Johnny, and her face heated. Her father wasn’t actually all on his own now.
She turned to pick up the basket on the floor but froze in her tracks.
Johnny stood in the doorway of the bathroom. His face was clean shaven, and now he looked like the man she knew from before.
Their eyes met, but she quickly looked away. It was then that she let her gaze slide down his wet, nearly nude, well-muscled body. The small strip of brown hair she’d seen before was now on full display as she followed the path it took.
Unable to focus on anything else, she zeroed in on the small hand towel. It was the only thing keeping him semi-decent at the moment. And for a split second, she wished it would fall away, exposing her to his full glory.
When her eyes came back up to his, she found the same twinkle he’d had downstairs when he’d caught her looking at him. She popped out her ear buds.
“Is that my monogrammed hand towel?” she said.
For some reason that seemed like the best thing to focus on. She certainly didn’t want to focus on what was under it.
Johnny looked down his body and shrugged.
“Maybe,” he said and grinned. “Want me to check?”
She swallowed hard as she tried to tell herself that answering yes would lead to a whole world of trouble. The question was whether it was trouble she didn’t want.
Maddy shook her head.
His grin only grew at her reaction. He took a step forward, and Maddy backed up. Her back hit the shelf of the closet as she tried to think of how the hell she would get out of this or if she even wanted to. In this state, she was pretty sure she wouldn’t mind taking him right there in the hallway and to hell with everything else.
Johnny continued to move forward until he stood right in front of her.
She breathed in the scent of fresh soap wafting off him. He stared down at her with soft hazel eyes.
“I’ll just get a towel,” he said softly.
He reached high above her, their bodies just a fraction of an inch from one another. All she had to do was lean forward, and they would touch in all the ways she’d ever dreamt. He stepped back, towel in hand.
“Thanks,” he said and grinned at her.
It didn’t even register that he was turning around until he did. His perfect ass right was there in front of her. She watched as the tight muscles moved with him and marveled at his strength. Did the man have huge muscles everywhere? It made her wonder about other parts that she hadn’t seen.
He stopped when he reached the bathroom door and glanced behind him.
“I think you’re right. It is the monogrammed one.”
With that he whipped the little towel over his shoulder and sent it flying to her. Maddy caught it and blinked a few times at what had just happened. She could hear him chuckle as the door shut behind him.
She looked back down at the small towel and then the door, half-tempted to give him a dose of his own medicine but not really sure if either of them would know where to draw the line.
She shook her head and tossed the towel into the basket on the floor. If he wasn’t going to draw the line, she’d have to be the one to do so. Her heart couldn’t take it otherwise.
Chapter Seven
Maddy sighed when her literature class let out. She had a small break between the class and her general education class. Only two classes left
for the summer session, but that felt like an eternity after her morning.
“Man, the semester is almost finished,” her friend Marissa said. “We have finals tomorrow, and he’s still trying to give us reading assignments. What’s up with that?”
Her high-heeled shoes clacked against the floor. She looked as if she were a businesswoman instead of some lowly student like the rest of them.
They had met during Maddy’s second year of school when Marissa had been out for a week sick and asked to borrow her notes. Despite how she dressed, Marissa was one of the most down-to-earth people she’d met. They became instant friends.
Maddy smiled. “Not really that surprising. He’s been like this all summer.”
Marissa snorted as they walked through the halls together and flipped her shoulder-length soft wavy hair out of her face.
“They always act like this is the only thing we have to do in life,” Marissa huffed. “It’s 2016. They do realize that most college students have to work these days, right?”
Maddy seriously doubted that any of her professors were concerned with much of anything that happened outside of their class, but she didn’t think voicing that was going to help much.
“The Octopus is on me to get my coursework completed so they can send me to some big training session,” Marissa said. She rolled her eyes. “Like I have any control over how long the classes are.”
“Patrick is still being hands-on with you?”
They pushed through the front doors into the warm outside.
“Enough to piss me off but not enough to get him in trouble with HR. The sad part is, I think he thinks he’s being smooth or something.”
Marissa walked to their usual table outside and sat down. She pulled down the oversize sunglasses from the top of her head.
Given the way she looked sitting there in the sun, no one would be surprised why Marissa’s boss was so eager to work with her. She looked like she stepped out of some old movie and could charm the pants off anyone.
“You know,” Marissa said, “I think the only reason he pushed for the company to pay for school was because he wants us to take business trips together.” She made a gagging noise, and Maddy laughed. “Like that will ever happen. He’s old enough to be my father.”
Maddy was glad that once she finished school she wouldn’t have to deal with working for someone else. She planned on freelancing and selling photos to magazines to fund her trips all around the world. She wanted to see everything that was out there and to capture it all through a lens to share with others.
“Enough about work,” Marissa said and leaned toward her from across the table. “I want to hear all about the date with David the other night.”
Maddy frowned. David. He was on a long list of things that just weren’t going right in her life.
“Oh no,” Marissa said. “That doesn’t look like the just-got-some face.”
Maddy sighed. “We went to some VIP club with some of his lawyer friends.”
“Sounds like a load of fun, said no sane person ever.” Marissa made a face.
It wasn’t that she hated his lawyer friends, but they were all shop all the time, and she wasn’t a lawyer.
It was one of the things she loved about Marissa. She was a professional but didn’t feel the need to make everything about work.
Maddy placed her head in her hands and sighed.
“I don’t know what to do,” she mumbled. “I just can’t do this with him, especially with Johnny confusing the whole situation.” She winced and knew she shouldn’t have said anything about the SEAL.
Marissa narrowed her eyes. “Johnny? As in the asshat that broke your heart before?”
Maddy sighed and looked up from her hands. Her friend stared at her as if she’d lost her mind and maybe she had.
“The same.”
Marissa frowned at her. “I thought he was totally a thing of the past. You said you’ve barely seen him.”
“He was,” Maddy said and cringed a little. “Until he saw me come home from the date, and we made out.”
“You what?” Marissa yelled.
Several people passing nearby frowned at them.
“I know,” Maddy said, keeping her voice low. “I was ready to walk away from all those feelings, but now he’s back. And kissing me and walking around half-naked and showing off all his stupid muscles.”
Marissa raised a brow. “You’ve got half-naked military guys walking around, and you didn’t invite me over?”
Maddy grinned. She knew her friend had a thing for military men. Marissa had only said it about a million times since meeting her brother.
“Sorry,” she said with a shrug. “I didn’t know he was going to go all peep show this morning.”
Marissa laughed and shook her head. “Sounds like he’s really going to give you a run for your money.”
Maddy sighed. He was. Stupid Johnny.
“So what are you going to do about David?” Marissa said.
Maddy shrugged. “I’m going to have to end it. Things aren’t really going anywhere. There’s no point in dragging this out. It’s really the best thing for the both of us.”
Marissa frowned a little. “He’s not going to take this well.”
“I know,” she said. “I just can’t keep pretending. I don’t know what’s going to happen with Johnny, but I can’t make David into something he’s not. I’ve been waiting and telling everyone he’s just someone I’m having fun with, but I can’t even remember the last time I actually had a good time with him.”
Both fell silent for a moment.
“Let’s go out Saturday,” Marissa said, breaking the silence.
Maddy looked up to Marissa, who grinned at her.
“Finals will be over,” she continued, “and I think we could both use a little celebrating since we’ll finally be finished.”
Maddy frowned. “Not quite. I still have a final on Monday.”
Marissa shrugged. “So we party on Saturday, and I help you study on Sunday. It’s algebra, right?”
She nodded. Math was not her best class, and she had to get a good grade on the final or her dreams of graduating would be all over.
“Okay,” Maddy said. It was likely a bad idea, but she figured after the hell of this week she was going to need a chance to let off a little steam.
That meant she’d have tomorrow night to break it off with David. She’d for sure need a drink after that.
Chapter Eight
Johnny pulled Rich’s old pickup into the parking spot outside the squad building. It’d been less than twenty-hours since he last talked to Clint, but it felt like a whole week had past.
Still, he needed to get his discharge paperwork started. The longer he waited, the harder it’d be to transition out of his old life and into his new one.
He passed a few of the men from his platoon and nodded. They frowned and turned their backs to him.
It wasn’t surprising at all. He knew that his leaving would make the rounds pretty quickly. They were a tight-knit group that had been through a lot together. Leaving so early in was bound to make a few people angry. To them, it was like he’d turned his back on them, and so they offered him the same.
Ignoring the pain that their silence caused him, Johnny continued inside the building. He didn’t have to travel far before he was standing outside Clint’s office.
Johnny knocked on the door.
“Come in.”
He stepped inside and was surprised to find two other uniformed men from his platoon inside, both men he’d served on squads with.
Both men looked over to him. Luca frowned. The hot blooded Italian-American, who often went by Luc, had been with him right from the start of training.
He’d known he would be pissed but was surprised by the cold way he was acting. After all, it wasn’t like Johnny was the first SEAL to leave the Navy.
The other man, Nathan, turned to Clint.
“We can finish this later, sir.”
&
nbsp; Clint shook his head at them and waved for Johnny to come in and close the door.
“I think he needs to hear this, Nate,” Clint said.
Nathan opened his mouth to protest, but Clint stopped him with a look. Johnny didn’t know the situation, but he knew why the man might be annoyed.
Not only did he hate being called Nate, but he also hated not doing things totally by the book. But Clint was his commanding officer and, in the end, he had the power to make those sorts of calls.
“He’s still a part of our team, and I say he needs to hear this,” Clint said and looked between the two men until it was clear that on this issue, he was going to exercise his authority. The commander might play fast and loose with formality at times, but he never ceded his control.
Johnny frowned and took a seat in the office. With four large men in the room, it suddenly seemed far smaller than it actually was.
He looked across to Clint from his chair, the two men still standing to the side.
“What’s all this about?”
Clint flipped open the file in front of him and handed it over to Johnny.
He stared down at the picture of a middle-aged white man smiling and waving to the camera as he climbed onto a private jet.
Johnny frowned. This wasn’t someone he’d ever seen before. There certainly wasn’t anything distinctive about the man.
“Who’s this?” He looked up from the file.
“Robert Williamson III. The hundred-and-first richest man on the planet. He was just another rich South African billionaire until recently when he suddenly started to rise up in the financial world. In just two years, he was able to double his net worth to almost 9.4 billion dollars after his business partner turned up dead.”
Johnny looked back down at the man and scowled. “I don’t get it. We in the business of investigating murders of rich douche bags? We’re SEALs, not NCIS.”
Luc stepped around him and flipped the picture over.
“He was cleared of all charges,” he said. “Robert was out of the country at the time, and based on all accounts, it appears to be a robbery. His wallet, jewelry and other items were all taken.”
Johnny: #2 (Special Forces) Page 4