by Lindsay Becs
Moon
Lindsay Becs
Contents
Playlist
Note from the Author
1. Moon
2. Tavin
3. Selene
4. Tavin
5. Selene
6. Tavin
7. Selene
8. Endy
9. Selene
10. Moon
11. Endy
12. Moon
13. Endy
14. Moon
15. Endy
16. Moon
17. Endy
18. Moon
19. Endy
20. Moon
21. Endy
22. Moon
23. Endy
Epilogue
Little Bird
Afterword
Special Thanks
About the Author
Other Books by Lindsay
Copyright ©2018 Lindsay Becs
All rights reserved
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without prior written consent of the author except for the use of brief quotation in a book review.
The characters and events depicted in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Cover design: Amanda Walker
Editing: Tricia Harden
Proofreading: Jennifer Jaks
Formatting: Alexandria Bishop
Playlist
Heathens: Twenty-One Pilots
Boulevard of Broken Dreams: Green Day
The Monster: Eminem ft. Rihanna
Wake Me Up: Avicii
Counting Stars: One Republic
Disturbia: Rihanna
Sucker for Pain: Lil Wayne, Wiz Khlifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic & Ty Dolla $ign ft X Ambassadors
Wolves: Selena Gomez & Marshmello
Hey Hey Hey: Katy Perry
I’m a Mess: Bebe Rexha
Praying: Kesha
Rewrite the Stars: The Greatest Showman Cast
Hollow: The Chainsmokers ft. Selena Gomez
To those lost in the dark…
There is a light for you to follow. Look closely and follow it out to the brightness around you.
“…And now my thoughts were places where light holds the darkness hostage.”
Darkness Matters, Jay McLean
And to those with monsters lurking…
You are not alone. Be brave and take courage.
“We all bleed red, and even monster’s hearts can break.”
Disgrace, Brittainy C. Cherry
Note from the Author
I’m so excited (and a little bit anxious!) for you to dive into this story. It’s one that kept swirling around and would not be quiet. These two people wanted their story told, so naturally, I obliged them.
This is a story of love found amongst tragedy, of strength after darkness, and of the power we all have to overcome anything we may face. It hits on sensitive subject matter. Although that isn’t the main part of this storyline, it is at times told and implied.
Tragedy can look ugly, but tragic love can be the most beautiful.
1
Moon
Bad dreams go away
Little bird fly away
Open the door and be free
Look at the sun and feel the breeze
12 years ago
Grasping for the stick that has become my tool for all things, eating, writing, entertainment, I draw a line on the wall next to me. It’s added to the hundreds of others that surround me in the place where I’ve been kept for as long as I can remember. I count the lines every day to keep my mind as clear as possible and give myself something to do. Sometimes I count by ones, other times I count by twos or threes, and when I really want to test myself, I try by even bigger numbers.
Today, I counted by ones. I counted 3,273 lines. Including the one I just added, it’s now 3,274. That’s how many days I’ve been kept here.
I was seven years old when I was grabbed off the street on my way home from a friend’s house. My friend lived one street over, and I had played at her house and walked home almost every day during the summer. That day, I remember I was running late, it was almost dark, and I knew I was going to get in trouble when I got home.
7 years old
I started running as fast as I could. Maybe a few seconds’ time would make a difference to Mommy and I wouldn’t get in trouble. I hear a car coming up beside me, and glancing to the side, I see their door open. That’s weird. They should shut it before they drive any farther, I think to myself. Before I turn my head away to look at my house in sight, I feel a body tackle me from the other side, pushing me into the open door. With the body on top of me, our tangled limbs lying across the back seat of the car, my lungs seize for air as it was all pushed out of me. I can’t catch my breath, let alone scream. I struggle to fill my lungs as a hand clamps over my mouth.
The car speeds down the road, making a sharp turn that causes the door to close on its own, the sound of it like an explosion in my ears as my heart thunders in my chest. I want to scream for help, but part of me already knows that it’s too late. I think if I fight, things will be worse, like when I get in trouble at home.
Tears seep out of my eyes, falling down the sides of my face as I squeeze them shut once more before I look up at my captor, the person still lying on top of me. His body still pressed stiffly into mine, his hand over my mouth, he’s waiting to see what I am going to do next.
I count to five in my head before I open my eyes. My mom taught me to do that when I was mad so I could settle down before getting myself in bigger trouble. I thought the same would work now with being scared. I open my eyes, meeting sad ones staring back at me. Eyes that don’t look angry or scary at all. Blue.
I shift my gaze to take in the face of the person smothering me to find a boy who doesn’t look too much older than I am. This makes me feel more at ease for some reason, even though he’s the one who pushed me into the car that is now driving me away from my family.
“Don’t scream,” he whispers close into my ear before he looks back at my eyes. I nod as much as I can to let him know I understand before he slowly takes his hand off my mouth.
Now able to breathe more freely, I inhale a deep, shaky breath, the smell of cigarettes invading my nose. The boy above me gives me a small smile, and something about it tells me I can trust him. I try to return his smile with a small one of my own as my chin trembles from the sobs I’m forcing to stay inside.
The boy places a soft kiss on the tip of my nose before he shifts his weight off of me, pulling us both to a sitting position. It’s weird but it calms the butterflies in my tummy. He buckles the middle seatbelt around my waist and then gently places my hand in his with a soft squeeze. I don’t understand. He’s being so nice.
“You sure she isn’t going to scream?” The question comes from a rough, deep voice thundering around the car, making me jump at the sound of it. It’s from the driver.
Fear.
Hearing that voice made me feel fear.
Everywhere.
My body starts to shake, tears pool in my eyes, and I pee myself as I sit in the car, not knowing where I am going.
I want my mom. I want my daddy. I want my big sister and my baby brother. I want my stuffed bunny. I want to be home. I want to wake up from this bad dream and have my mom snuggle up with me in bed until I can fall back asleep. I want to wake up to the smell of her cooking Sunday breakfast because today was Saturday and tomorrow was my favorite day. It was family day.
“Yeah, I’m sure. She’s not going to scream,” the boy says. I turn to look up at h
im, pleading for help as tears cascade down my face. He reaches over and wipes the tears off my cheeks, meeting my sad eyes with his own.
I close my eyes and begin counting in my head, but I feel sleepy from my crying. I lean into the boy with the sad eyes holding my hand because he feels safe in that moment.
When my eyes open again I’m not in the car anymore holding the boy’s hand. I’m lying on a sleeping bag on a dirt floor. Alone. It is dark and cold, and I can feel my body shivering from it. I can hardly see anything around me, but I know the place I am in is small, even for me.
This is it. This is where I am going to live now. But I miss my mom. I crawl into the sleeping bag and cry until I fall asleep again, hoping that my family would find me.
I don’t like it here.
“Wake up!”
I feel a hand shaking me awake. Confused, I don’t move. Why am I being woken up? I always wake up on my own and sit in the empty space that I call home, waiting for Endy. He comes when it’s dark and brings me my one meal of the day. I already had my meal and fell asleep for the night. I don’t understand why I’m being woken up. I rub my eyes to take a second to try to make sense of what’s going on.
Even on the days that Zeus wants me, it’s during the day.
“Moon, you have to wake up! Please, wake up!” It’s Endy’s voice. He sounds so panicked.
I turn then to look at him and see fear in his eyes. “What’s wrong? Does he want me?”
“No. You have to leave.”
“What? I can’t leave. I don’t understand what you’re saying.” I suddenly feel wide awake and panicked.
“I heard him say that you’re almost sixteen. I don’t know what happened, but he wants you gone. He’s going to kill you. I can’t… I can’t… You have to go! You have to leave and run as far away as you can!” He’s pulling my arm to get me to stand.
“I… I don’t know where to go.” I feel my heart beating out of my chest, full of fear, nerves, and excitement. “You have to come with me.” I look up into Endy’s eyes. The same ones that brought me comfort years ago in that car. The same ones that have become the only good thing in my life since.
“I can’t. He’ll find me. But you, you have to go. I won’t let him hurt you anymore. You have to go. Please go!”
“How? How can I leave? He’ll catch me. I’m not fast or strong. I don’t know how I’d be able to do it.” I may not know a lot of things, but I do know that years in a sedentary state has left me weak, and I won’t be able to run far on my own.
“I have the car. I’ll drive you as far as I can and then you have to go as far as your legs will take you. But we have to go now. He just passed out and won’t wake up for a couple hours. Come on.” He has his hand outstretched for me to take as he’s already heading up the steps of the cellar where I’ve been kept for so long.
I swallow down my fear, take his hand in mine and start after him. I turn around for a brief moment to see the place I’ve lived for the past nine years of my life. Taking a deep breath, I walk up the steps and see the car with the front door open for me to get it. The car is running, but the lights are off.
As if reading my mind, he answers my question. “I don’t want to chance him waking and seeing the lights. Once we hit the road, I’ll turn them on.”
We both release matching ragged breaths after the car has crept past the house and we are on the main road. Endy does as he said he would and flicks on the headlights, lighting up the darkness around us.
“Endy?”
“Yeah?”
“He’s going to hurt you when he sees I’m gone. He’ll know you let me go.”
“I know.” His voice is laced with fear and acceptance of what’s to come for him.
I feel a single tear fall down my cheek at his admission. It won’t be the first time he’ll take a beating for me.
Sliding my hand across the seat of the car, I take his hand in mine. “Come with me,” I whisper, still looking straight ahead.
“Moon, I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I helped kidnap you. No matter what you say, I’m still the bad guy.”
“You are not him,” I grit out. “I want you with me.” I turn to look at the side of his face now. His beautiful face looks tired. His dark hair is a mess, like he’s been pulling at it for hours. His sad eyes look sadder and are surrounded by dark circles and a crease between them. His full, pink lips are downturned. “I don’t know how to do anything anymore on my own. I need you.”
I watch as he slowly closes his eyes and opens them again, regret and sorrow wash over his face. “You don’t need me. You are so much stronger than you think.”
“You can’t go back to him. He’ll kill you, Endy. I can’t leave now knowing that.” A sob rips through me as I pull his hand to my mouth and kiss it, leaving it there. “Promise me you won’t go back. Promise me you’ll stay away. We can both leave. Even if we don’t stay together, we can find our way back to one another one day when it’s right. We can go our separate ways for now, but you can’t go back. Please, don’t go back, Endy,” I plead.
“OK.” His one word is simple and the most powerful two letters he could have ever spoken, knowing what’s ahead and what we left behind.
“You have to promise on the moon and stars that you won’t go back, Endy. You have to promise me and keep your promise.”
I watch as he contemplates my pleas to him. I can see it in the way he runs his top teeth back and forth over his bottom lip. I can see it in the way his eyes start to sparkle more, like the stars. I can see it when he looks at me. I can see hope. Hope for both of us to survive. Hope for us to live.
“OK, Moon. I promise.” I see the slightest upturn in the corner of his mouth. That’s all I need to know he’s telling me the truth. He’s telling me that my hope is real.
We drive for about an hour before he pulls into a parking lot and parks in a dark back corner.
“This is it, isn’t it?” I ask, looking up into his eyes, feeling mine fill with unshed tears.
He cups my face in his rough hands and places a single soft kiss on the tip of my nose, just like he did that very first day. “I will always love you. Know that I never wanted anything bad to happen to you. I’m so sorry for all that did, Moon. You have to know how much it killed me every time.”
I reach up to soothe his clenched jaw with my small hands. “You are the best thing to happen to me. I love you more than the moon and stars, Endy. I always will. You have been my protector, my comfort, my hope and now my savior. I don’t care about what anyone will try to tell me. I won’t stop loving you.”
I feel his calloused thumbs wipe away the tears falling down my face. I open my eyes and look into his, getting lost in them for the last time. “I love you,” I whisper, closing my eyes again and feeling his thumb run over my lips. I kiss it as I lean deeper into his hands holding me.
It’s then that his lips touch mine, soft and sweet. It’s the first time he’s ever kissed me on the lips. It’s the first time I’ve ever been kissed at all. I kiss him back, his growing beard tickling my chin and his hands moving back from my face into my hair. A soft moan escapes me from the feel of his love on my lips.
His tongue swipes across my bottom lip, making fireworks explode in my belly. I open my mouth to invite him further in and he accepts my invitation, our mouths and tongues dancing together to our own sounds and songs of hope and love.
When we slow down and pull apart even slower, I feel his breath on my lips when he says, “I love you, too. Now go.”
I turn slowly to open the door, but he grabs my hand once more, stopping me. “Wait.” I turn to look at him one last time, feeling my heartbreak falling down my face. “Your name is Selene. You were seven when you were kidnapped from Maddison, North Carolina.” He reaches into his pocket and hands me some cash. “Take this in case you need it. Go into that diner and tell them who you are. They’ll help you.”
I nod as I take the money f
rom his hand, our fingers brushing and my heart shattering. “How will I find you again?”
“We’ll find each other when the time is right. My name is Tavin.” He smiles at me, and I don’t want to leave. “Now go, Moon. I’ll find you. I promise.”
I get out of the car and turn to close the door, but pause to take in his face, memorizing it. I release my breath as I close the door and turn toward the diner. It takes everything in me to walk to the entrance and not run back to the car and beg him to run with me. I chance a glance back at him when I reach for the door, his own heartbreak running down his face.
I open the door and walk inside, frozen to all the unknowns around me. I turn to look back at Endy, Tavin, my strength, but he’s gone. Panic attacks me, and I don’t know what to do.
“You alright, miss?” I hear someone ask.
I swallow and turn to face them. “My name’s Selene. I was kidnapped when I was seven from Maddison, North Carolina.”
And then everything went dark.
2
Tavin
Present
I hate these long cross-country drives. They last for what seems like forever, even with a deadline to deliver on time. But more than that, I hate them because the longer the hours on the road by myself, the more my mind wanders. And the more my mind wanders, the more I think of her.