by Natalie Dean
Her smile faded as quickly as it had appeared as reality returned. The past few years she had learned not to expect things to turn out good just because it appeared that they would. How many times had she and her friends celebrated a new job, a new part, a chance to be the first ones cast in a new show? She could still hear her agent’s words over the phone saying the contracts were being drawn up as they spoke. How many times had she woken up the next day to the reality that the movers and shakers in New York’s entertainment world could and did make last minute changes? Or maybe, she wondered many times, if she’d been given the right information at all. There never seemed to be a process that controlled these decisions but rather who was making the decision. And the who appeared to change on a weekly basis.
One thing she did learn was that until you sign your name at the bottom of the page, there was no reason to celebrate. The last few years she had held to that way of thinking, and while she had been working somewhat steady, there had not been the breakthrough she had been striving for. She still felt the pull of the audience and she still felt the thrill of taking someone’s words and turning them into a walking talking piece of art. Just thinking about it now sent chill bumps up and down her arms. She would get there, she knew she would, but right now she was exactly where she needed to be.
Looking back at the bill, she remembered that the amount had been somewhere around ninety dollars and that was with two late fees.
She turned the bill over and found the customer service number. After calling the number, the recording gave her several options. She chose option number three for all bill inquiries. As it rang, she took a deep breath.
“Thank you for calling, this is Karen, how may I help you today?” the lady asked like she had said it hundreds of times today already.
“Yes ma’am. I received my bill today and am pretty sure the balance is not correct. Could you check that for me?”
Chastity could hear tapping on a keyboard as they spoke.
“Yes ma’am. What is your name and account number?”
Chastity recited it to her just as it was written on the bill. “This is actually my mother’s account. My father passed away recently, and I am helping her with her bills until we can get them all current and back on schedule.”
The customer service representative didn’t say anything in response to this information. Chastity suddenly felt very alone in dealing with these issues.
“There isn’t a balance on the account. It’s all paid off,” she said, as if she was giving her good news.
“But that can’t be right,” Chasity said, raising her voice. She caught herself quickly and took a deep breath. “I haven’t paid the amount due, and I need to get the correct balance.”
The customer service rep was silent for a moment, as if wondering what to say. “Let me see if I can find out how this was paid,” she said. “Are you listed on the account as well?”
“No,” Chastity answered. “But my mom has given me power of attorney to handle all of her finances. I am really trying to get them straight.”
The rep got quiet, then said, “Ms. Parker can you hold one moment? I need to get an access code from my supervisor to get into the payment part of the account.”
“Yes ma’am, anything you can do to help me I would really appreciate,” Chastity said, feeling hopeful that she might get some answers.
After a few minutes she came back on the phone. “Do you have the password for this account?”
Chastity quickly picked up a notebook where she had been jotting down as much information as she could find about each account. It had not been easy since her mother had not handled any of the bills. Now that her dad was gone, getting answers to simple questions had become a chore that required detective work. And she’d become painfully aware how bad off they were financially.
She gave the password to the customer service rep.
There was a long pause as she checked the account. Chastity started pacing back and forth now as she held the line. She began to think how she really needed to stay on top of these bills if she was ever going to get them paid down. It was so easy to assume that the companies didn’t make mistakes, just the customers. She would never have thought to question the bill before this.
“I am looking at the payment history now, and it appears last week someone came to the main office and paid the bill in full. In the notes it states the payment was made in cash and a receipt was given to the person who paid.”
Chastity froze. She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t get her words out, and she didn’t want the rep to hang up.
“But this is crazy. How can that be?” she finally said. She still didn’t think it was correct. She took a deep breath to calm herself and her head begin to clear. “If someone other than my mother or I came in to access the account, wouldn’t they need to provide you with an account number or a password?”
“No Ma’am. If someone is making a payment, it’s not required. It would be required if someone wanted to get personal information about the account but not to make a payment. I am looking through the notes and I don’t see any information other than the account was paid in full with cash. The person who paid was given a receipt. It does have the person’s name who took the payment; would you like to speak to her?”
“Yes, please,” Chastity said quickly.
“Hold one moment and I will transfer you. If you need anything else just let us know,” she said sweetly. Chasity thanked her and the phone call was forwarded. After several rings, a woman’s voice mail recording came on, stating that she was either on her phone or out of the office but if you would leave a message, she would be glad to return the call at her earliest convenience. Chastity waited for the beep but changed her mind about leaving a message. How was she going to explain to a perfect stranger that someone had paid her bill and she wanted, what? A physical description of the person who paid it? His name? She went blank on how to ask this question, so she just hung up.
She stared at her table, feeling overwhelmed again. Someone had paid off their entire bill. She couldn’t believe it.
Part of her hoped it was exactly who she thought it was, but that was impossible. A week had gone by since their fight, and they hadn’t said a word to each other since then. There was no way Ben would be off paying her bills when they were still fighting.
…right?
It had to be another family friend. Or perhaps the church. Maybe even Keiko. Their water bill was less than a hundred dollars after all, and she knew several people who could afford that.
But still…
Shaking, her hand went to the next bill, for their gas. That one was a pretty penny, sitting at a thousand dollars and that was after her making payments of ten dollars over the minimum since she had arrived. They were refusing to deliver any more gas until they had it below five hundred dollars, which meant winter was going to be hit hard if she didn’t catch up in time.
Now that she was going to have a regular job, she knew she could do it, and yet she still wondered what was waiting for her in the envelope.
She opened it, her heart thundering. Zero due. Paid in full.
No. It wasn’t possible.
This time her hands shot toward the next envelope. Electric. And the next envelope. Mortgage. And the next. Credit card.
Over and over again until she was surrounded by torn envelopes and rumpled letters, all of them saying the same thing.
Zero balance. Paid in full.
Tears were in Chastity’s eyes as she tried to understand it. A hundred and fifty thousand dollars in debt, all gone. The mortgage was not only brought current, but it was paid off. Suddenly, the heavy burden that had been weighing down her soul was gone, leaving her completely untethered.
There was only one person she knew who could ever do something like this, and her heart quickly swelled in her chest.
Even when they were angry with each other.
Even when he thought that she didn’t care about him.<
br />
Ben was still looking out for her.
She put her head in her hands and cried. For once they weren’t unhappy tears, but they certainly were flavored with relief and other overwhelming emotions. She couldn’t believe it. There really was no stop to his kindness.
“Mom!” she called, her mother having wandered upstairs to change into her lounging clothes while Chastity took care of the mail.
“Yes, dear?” her mom asked, peeking around the corner of the hall and down the stairs.
“I need to go out. Do you mind staying put for about an hour?”
“I think I could do that. Honestly, I was thinking of having a nap.”
“Perfect. And you’ll call me if you need anything, right?”
“Of course, dear. Go do what you have to do.”
That was all Chastity needed. She bolted out the door, crying, laughing, and feeling freer than she had in ages.
The world was shifting for her again, everything changing and moving, but for once she welcomed it with open arms. She was a career woman now, who was going to be able to pay the bills solely off of what she created with her mind and her hands. It was insane that it took that for her to realize that she didn’t need to prove to anyone that she was more than what they thought she could be.
Because she finally believed it herself.
And she had one other person to tell about the good news.
26
Ben
Ben sprawled out across his bed, the thick comforter feeling good against his sore back. He hadn’t been able to sleep well the past couple of days, so he had woken up around four in the morning to get even more work done on the barn they were renovating before Benji took care of the general chores for the day.
In reality, none of the brothers had to do the work around the barn because the workers were capable of handling it themselves, but he and most of the others liked being more hands-on. After all, it was the Miller Ranch, not the Long-term Family Friends Ranch. That would certainly be a mouthful.
Ugh.
It was into the afternoon, and Ben was trying to rouse himself to go work on the barn again now that the hottest part of the day had passed. But something was keeping him in his bed. He couldn’t stop staring up at the ceiling; it was like he could see his future played against it as if it were a projection screen.
Except it really was more like daydreaming. So many futures, so few of them possible. He wondered if Chastity even knew what he did, and if she would resent him for it. But with all the bills paid, it gave her the option to leave whenever she wanted. She would no longer be held down by all the bills that had been drowning her.
She would have a choice.
And that gave him some peace. If she hightailed it, then maybe he would finally be able to let her go. And if she stayed… well, he had no idea what would happen then. He didn’t really believe that she would.
That light in his room flickered, which meant someone was at the door. Considering that Ma was out in the coop again, and Pa was out teaching some of the next generation of workers some of the ins and outs of the ranch, he had no idea who it could be. His brothers would just text him.
So, who was it?
He didn’t know, and his natural curiosity wouldn’t let him ignore it. Begrudgingly, he got up and made the small trek down the hall.
He opened the door, still half in his thoughts, only to see a breathless, red-faced Chastity standing there.
“What are you—”
She didn’t let him answer, instead flinging herself into his arms and crashing her mouth to his. He was shocked but welcomed the kiss with a flood of relief through his system.
All the uncertainty, all the doubt he’d had over the past week and a half, was gone. Evaporated by the feeling of her against him.
But eventually the more practical side of his brain kicked in and he pulled away gently, his large hands still lingering on her soft hips. As much as he wanted to give into his temptation and never come up for air, there were things they needed to talk about.
Sometimes he hated being practical.
“I didn’t expect you here,” he said, looking down at her and drinking in all of her expression.
Her eyes were red and puffy while her cheeks were wet. She had been crying.
“This morning, I certainly didn’t expect to be here.”
He wiped her sweat-beaded forehead with his sleeve before his thumbs whisked away the dampness on her cheeks.
“Then why are you here?”
“I know what you did.”
The corner of his lip dragged up ever so slightly while his blood rushed through his veins. “That sounds like something out of a horror movie.”
“But really, it’s anything but, isn’t it?” She looked behind him, her expression flickering a bit. He realized that she’d never seen his new attachment. Back when they were together, he had a room in the main house. “Could we have a seat?”
“Uh, yeah. I’ve got a sitting room. This way.”
He was loath to let her go, but he pulled his hands away from her and turned.
A million thoughts were rushing through his head, as he was wondering what she was going to say or what she wanted. She seemed happy enough with his decision judging by the kiss. But just because she appreciated what he did didn’t mean that she was going to stay.
And that was all right.
He didn’t pay for everything in some ploy to buy her like a common horse. No, he paid for those things for two reasons. One, was as an apology, but secondly was so that she could be free to make decisions that truly felt right to her. No worrying about money, or her mother depending on her. For once, she could think of only herself.
They reached his sitting room, a small place but with a loveseat and a comfortable recliner, a fireplace, and a bookshelf. He didn’t use it often, considering that he lived alone, but every now and then he liked to sit with a good book and listen to the fire crackle while night fell outside of his bay window.
Chastity perched herself on the loveseat, curling her legs under her, and he took that as a good sign. She was settling in for at least a few minutes, not poised and ready to run.
“So…” he began slowly.
“So,” she echoed.
Then it was quiet, neither of them knowing where to start. He felt like perhaps it was time for him to be quiet and listen to her, but she didn’t seem to be ready to speak.
And so, he waited.
And waited.
But eventually, she did take a deep breath and started speaking.
“I got a job!”
Oh. That wasn’t what he expected. “That’s great! I didn’t know you were looking for one.”
“I was in a mad dash to try to get money to dig my parents out of their debt. But now,” she paused, and there was so much emotion in her eyes that he felt his own heart squeeze.
He wished she had told him sooner, so she wouldn’t have had to struggle so much, but he supposed that he hadn’t earned her trust then.
“Now I don’t have to worry about that, do I?”
Ben raised his eyebrows, trying to keep his expression neutral. “Whatever do you mean?”
But she smiled softly, her eyes welling up again. “Why did you do it, Ben?”
That tone. It wasn’t condemning. It wasn’t upset. But it was truly bewildered. He supposed that Chastity hadn’t exactly had nice gestures thrown at her throughout her entire life.
“I did it for you.”
Her head tilted ever so slightly to the side as she studied him. “To bribe me to stay here?”
“No, nothing like that.” It seemed that it was time to use his words. It all seemed so overdramatic, like a real production, but he needed to express what was going on in his brain. Chastity needed to know what was going on in his brain.
“I did it because it feels like you have all these chains telling you what to do and how to live. Whether it’s your responsibility you feel toward your mother, whether it’s t
he expectations that were leveled against you as you grew up. Whether it was bills, or the bank man, or any number of things. It seemed that you couldn’t make a choice solely for you, and that I would never be able to know how you truly felt.
“So, while I couldn’t do anything about the expectations, or your relationship with your mother, I could take care of the rest, which would maybe give you enough room to figure the other things out on your own.
“And maybe, when all of that is said and done, I might be enough for you. And maybe I won’t. But the important thing is that I would know that your decision came from you and no one else.
“And that’s what I needed, and why I did it.”
“Oh…” Her voice was quiet as she seemed to take in everything that he was saying. Silence won out again as she sat there, and he could practically see her mind doing flips.
“You wanted me to be free,” she said finally, her eyes flitting to him.
Relief washed over Ben. She understood, and she didn’t seem upset. So, while maybe she would thank him and then choose to leave forever, at least he knew that he had done the right thing.
But he desperately, intensely wished that she would stay. That she would stop letting those doubtful, cruel voices of the past dictate her life and instead, live true to her own self.
“I did.”
She got up, and for a moment, he thought that this was goodbye, that she was going to walk out of the door grateful, but on her own path. Instead of leaving, however, she walked over to him and sank onto his lap, her back resting against one arm of the recliner and her legs draping over the other side.
“That new job I was telling you about? It’s as a verified writer for this really popular site. Given that I don’t have a literal mountain of debt crushing my mother or me anymore, in a month or two I should be able to get my own place in town. There’s this cute little apartment I noticed on the way to the library. It’s month-to-month, so I wouldn’t be tethered down, but I think it might be worth staying in town for a bit.”
It took everything inside of Ben for him not to jump to his feet and let out a triumphant yelp. Instead, he swallowed several times before he answered.