by Natalie Dean
“Sounds good to me.”
The morning passed quickly, with Bart helping here and there. Sheep needed to be sheered, and one of their tractors needed to have its brake lines replaced. Nothing that he could do on his own, but he knew how to assist.
But then lunch was coming around, and he headed back to the barn.
She wasn’t there again.
Bart looked around, his brows furrowing. Had she already gone to lunch? He knew their meal hours were flexible, but…
“Hey, can I help you?”
Bart turned to see one of the senior workers at the ranch. Technically, he had been there long enough that he could have any job he wanted, but he chose the manual one. Bart didn’t really know why, but he’d never thought to ask.
“Yeah. One of your workers here. She uh, dropped something near the main house. I wanted to return it to her.” He internally begged that the man didn’t ask what it was because Bart was uncomfortable with lying.
“Oh, you mean Miss Dominic?”
“Is that her name?” Bart said, shuffling. “Almost six feet, blond hair?”
“Yeah, that’s her,” the worker said with a smile. “She’s not here today.”
“Ah.” Of course. While he knew most of the workers had Sunday off, they all rotated what other days they rested. Most of them chose to work ten-hour days so they could have three off, but he wasn’t really up-to-date on their schedules. “Right. Well, just tell her that I’d like to see her if she gets a moment.”
“Of course. Hopefully it wasn’t too important, whatever she dropped.”
“Uh, yeah.”
And that was that. Feeling a vague sense of disappointment, he went back to work.
Oh well. There was always tomorrow.
The next day, Bart looked around the barn, a familiar feeling of disappointment again. He’d woken up in a good mood and determined to successfully ask Missy to dinner, only to find that she wasn’t where she was supposed to be.
He knew that she could just be on another day off, or even running late, but something didn’t sit easy in his stomach.
He looked to the other workers, wondering if he should ask about her, but he didn’t want to show too much interest and raise people’s suspicions. Not that he was worried about what they thought of him—at least not at the moment—but he didn’t want gossip to turn against her. Missy seemed pretty concerned with what people said about her, and even though he wasn’t sure it was necessary, he respected her caution.
But he was so impatient. It was like someone had opened a door, giving him a peek of what was just beyond, then slammed it right back in his face. He could feel the anxiety setting in, whispering things that he didn’t want to hear, and the little surprise noises that come hand-in-hand with ranch life were startling enough to make him feel sick.
Feeling more than a bit put out, he headed back to the edge of the farm. There he saw Benji, Bradley, and Ben, all of them catching up.
“What’s this? Someone called for a brother’s meet-up and didn’t invite me?” he cracked. Wow. He almost sounded like the old Bart there. That was something new.
“Three days in a row?” Bradley asked teasingly. “What is this, some sort of Christmas in July miracle?”
“Bartie! Good to see you!” Ben crossed over to him and pulled him into a hug. Bart bristled for a moment, adrenaline shooting through him and telling him that someone was trying to hurt him, but he shoved it down and let himself enjoy the embrace.
“Good to see you, too. You were gone long enough with that lady friend of yours.”
“Lady friend?” Ben repeated dubiously. “What are we… in high school again?”
“No, but are you guys putting a label on it already?” Benji asked, clapping Ben on the shoulder as he broke away from Bart.
“Already? What do you mean by that? It’s basically been an entire decade.”
“Yeah, where you didn’t talk to each other or have any contact.”
“Fair enough,” Ben conceded, hands raised. “Sorry, I took a couple of extra days. It’s not often Chastity and I get to have time to ourselves and do whatever we want. I guess I got a little carried away with the freedom.”
“Uh-huh, I’m sure,” Benji said, smirking the way he did when he was razzing his brothers. Bart let the two of them banter about and sidled up beside Bradley, who still had his morning cup of coffee in his hand.
“Hey, got a question for you.”
“It better involve the finances because if I have to remember the proper way to start a cattle drive again, I might just pitch myself off a cliff.”
“It’s just a personnel question.”
Bradley sighed happily as he took another long swig of coffee. “Now that…I’m good with. What’s up? Finally gonna file a complaint about those guys who riled you up?”
“How do you know about that?”
“I’m the books guy, I know about a lot.”
Bart shook his head, not letting that worrying idea distract him. “There’s a worker here I wanted to check in on. One of the muckrakers.”
“The girl you invited to dinner?” There was something strange about his tone, and Bart guessed that he was being just a touch too direct, but oh well. There was no going back now.
“Yeah, Missy.”
“She quit.”
The ground dropped out from under Bart, and suddenly he was falling. His body slid past smoke and darkness and screams before he blinked it all away and focused on his breathing.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
When he was centered enough to speak, he chose his words carefully. “What happened?”
Had she overheard those men talking about her? Had she gotten a better job offer in town? He was foolish to think that she’d stick around just for him. He wasn’t anything to her.
Anything at all.
Bradley shrugged. “Dunno. She called in yesterday morning and said she wasn’t a good fit. And that was that.”
“That was that?” Bart echoed. “You didn’t try to talk to her?”
“What did you want me to do?” he asked with a raised brow. “Convince her to stay? You weren’t there, Bart, but she sounded pretty adamant. And a woman like that, I don’t think you could convince her to change her mind once she’s set.”
“What do you mean, a woman like that?”
Bradley rolled his eyes. “Don’t use that tone with me. You’ve seen how she walks, how she holds herself. That was a woman who fought for everything she had in life and certainly didn’t have anyone give her any handouts. I’m sure she’s been looking out for herself for so long that she knows what’s best for her way better than I do. So, if she says she wants to quit, I’ll let her quit.”
Bart hated to admit it, but his younger brother had a point. One of the things he had learned about Missy was that she was fearless. Determined. Very little scared her. If she had wanted to move on, well that was her right, and he should respect that.
…except something didn’t quite seem right.
At dinner she had been all smiles, her eyes flicking to his own every once in a while to communicate with him. He knew his family was… different than a lot of others, but she seemed to take it in stride. She’d been charming. And reassuring.
How could they have gone from that to her disappearing from his life entirely?
There had to be some piece he was missing.
“You okay, big guy?”
Bart broke free of his thoughts, looking to Bradley, who was eyeing him with concern.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. There’s just something I need to check at the house.”
“You sure, man?”
“I’m fine. I promise.”
“Okay, if you say so,” Bradley said.
Bart went to go, but his brother’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.
“Trust me, you didn’t scare her off or anything. I’m real proud of you making a friend.”
B
art felt his heart squeeze. He really was lucky he had the family he did. They deserved so much better than him.
But he was trying.
“Thanks, little bro,” he said, ruffling Bradley’s hair and heading back to the main house.
When he reached it, he could smell the mouthwatering scent of freshly baked bread wafting from the kitchen. Good, that meant Ma was home. If anyone had an idea of what was up, she would. Ma could read almost anyone like a book. She would know if he had misread Missy’s behavior entirely.
Now, how to ask her without setting off any of her all-knowing mother alarms.
“Hey, Ma, do you know what happened with that worker, Melissa Dominic?”
Oh.
That was not the way to do it.
She stood up, a smile plastered across her face and her cheeks red from the heat of the oven. “Bartie! You’re up early again. Are you trying a new schedule?”
“Yeah. Lately, I’ve been feeling more ready to face the day.”
“Well, that’s wonderful. I’m sure your therapist at the VA will be happy to hear that.”
“Yeah, I’m sure. But that’s not why I came here. Melissa Dominic, did anything strange happen with her after dinner? Or during?”
A strange expression crossed Ma’s face. Why was everyone being so cagey lately? “I’m not quite sure what you mean.”
Now that didn’t sound like his Ma at all. “I’m just saying, I invited a nice worker of ours to dinner, and everything seemed to be going well, but then she called in the next day and quit. Did I do something wrong? Was I rude at the meal? Did I chew with my mouth open or something?”
None of those sounded like things that would make Missy quit, but his mind was spinning in a panic, trying to figure out what was going on. Just when he was getting his feet underneath himself, they were getting yanked away with no warning. Routine was part of his therapy; it was supposed to keep him grounded and on track, but how was he supposed to have a routine with a mystery woman sweeping into his life then disappearing just as quickly?
“Oh? She quit? How unfortunate.”
Bart may have been a man struggling with PTSD and his place in the world, but he knew guilt when he saw it. Narrowing his gaze at his mother, he watched as her eyes tried to flit anywhere but to him.
No.
No.
She wouldn’t have….
Would she?
“Ma,” Bart said slowly, hoping against all hopes that he was wrong. “Did you say something to her?”
17
Missy
Missy closed a tab on her computer, rubbing her eyes before returning to the seven other tabs she had open. Just seven more applications to fill out, then she could take a break.
This time she wasn’t wasting her time and looking for jobs in town. It had been made abundantly clear to her that no one wanted to give her work, and she didn’t feel like throwing herself at that wall anymore. Maybe in a month or two, she could try the vet’s clinic again. They had seemed happy to see her when she dropped the kitten off. And they’d even found someone to adopt it. She was sure that at least one of his children were going to college, and maybe if she took a bit of a pay cut, they would be willing to hire her until the summer.
Even though she had only worked for the Millers for two weeks, that cash flow had been a massive boom to her. She bet, if she scrimped and saved the rest of the year, she would finally have enough to move to the closest city and rent a studio or a one-bedroom apartment. Sure, she would lose a lot of the space she had now, and her wonderful tub, but she would be free from the town and the vile expectations it had of her.
Or she could just give in.
Missy shook her head at the thought. Sometimes it was tempting to stop fighting against everything and just be the woman that everyone thought she was, but she didn’t work that way. She didn’t trust people enough for friendship, let alone any romantic feelings. And, unlike some people, she was pretty sure she’d have to have a heck of a whole lot of romantic feelings to let anyone see her naked.
She shuddered at the thought. For someone who was pretty confident in her body, she sure hated the idea of ever being that vulnerable in front of someone. Clothing was just another layer to keep people at bay, and as she had recently learned—again—she needed to keep people as far away as possible.
She stood up to get a glass of cold water, her window open and both of her fans pointed at her, but she was still hot. Part of scrimping and saving meant not turning on her window-AC unit, which was a huge suck in her energy bill. On her journey, she stopped at the full-length mirror she had bought from the local second-hand store, looking at herself in her shorts and simple tank.
Her eyes traveled over her form, from her large, pale feet, to her shapely tanned legs, to her full hips. She supposed she was what people called “thick” nowadays, but she preferred to think of herself as more of an hourglass.
Continuing upward was her long torso, strong enough to support her back during hard labor but soft enough to be feminine. Then her bust, which she was well aware was larger than it had any right to be. On top of that were broad, strong shoulders, long muscled arms, and well-worn hands. Hands that worked. Hands that knew what it was like to pave the way for herself.
Finish that off with a slender neck, plump lips, a heart-shaped face and blond, wavy hair, and it was a body anyone should be proud to have. And for the most part, she was. She liked how she looked. She didn’t think there was anything inherently wrong or sinful about her body. It was just how God made her.
It was just that with so many eyes on her, so many unasked-for gazes and lingering stares, subtle copped feels and not-so-subtle gropes ever since she was fifteen, her body had become not her own. The beautiful vessel that she was in was almost treated as if it was the property of everyone who saw her, instead of herself. Like all of society had ownership of it, and she was only the renter.
She hated that feeling, and she had no doubt it colored her ability to have a relationship. And by that, she meant not have a relationship at all. Maybe when she moved, she would have time and energy to open herself up to romance, but she couldn’t envision trusting someone like that.
Shaking her head, she removed her gaze from the mirror and got a glass of water. Missy had no idea why she was waxing so poetically about her body. She guessed she always got a little philosophical after these kinds of rejections.
She’d really had hope for the Miller ranch. It sucked to be right about not being able to trust anyone.
Missy sighed, just about to flop back into her seat when the buzzer by the door sounded. Surprised, she headed to her door and pressed the button that allowed the speaker to work.
“Hello?” she asked curiously.
“Missy?”
What?
The speakers were such poor quality that there was a chance that she was wrong, but Missy was fairly sure that was Bart on the other side.
What was he doing here?
“Bart?” she asked cautiously. She would be lying if she denied that part of her melancholy was that she wouldn’t be seeing the enchanting man again. She had just been getting to know him, and it seemed like they could have been real friends. She hadn’t had something like that in so long that it felt like a major loss, even if the whole thing had been just beginning.
“Yeah, it’s me. I’m sorry if I’m invading your privacy, but I was hoping that we could talk.”
Oh.
Right.
For a moment she had hoped that he was here for her. But that wasn’t the basis of their short relationship, was it? He was struggling and just needed his fix of good old Missy magic so he could go about his life. He was here for himself, and nothing more.
But… was there anything wrong with that? The whole reason they had ever started talking was to help him—because Missy had a feeling that she could make his burden a little lighter. How could she fault him for asking for the exact kind of help she offered?
“I’ll
be down in a minute,” she said after a moment’s hesitation.
She didn’t want to throw any real clothes on, but she settled for a very light T-shirt over her tank so she wouldn’t have to put on a bra. Putting on anything restrictive in the swelter of her apartment was a torture she just didn’t feel like dealing with.
Once she was moderately decent, Missy headed down the stairs. She saw him standing just inside the landing, where the air conditioning from the office floated across the hall.
For the slightest of moments, she was really struck by the vision. He looked like something out of a movie, looking up at the stairs through his slightly too-long hair, brows knit with worry.
He was striking, backlit by the summer sun outside, shadows falling across his strong, masculine features. His broad shoulders tense while his calloused hands stayed in his pockets. He was a juxtaposition of strength and uncertainty. It made Missy want to run to him and soothe her fingers over every bit of concern that covered his face until he was finally at peace, but she caught herself after a step.
Oh.
That was a bit odd, wasn’t it? As much as her need to take care of things made her see the handsome man as one of her injured rescues, that certainly wasn’t the case. She needed to remember that this was a grown man before her. One who had fought and given up so much for his country only to come back with an injury that wasn’t easily healed. He wasn’t a kitten, or a fox, or even an owl.
She needed to remember that.
“Can I help you?” she asked, proud of how steady her voice kept.
“Yeah. I mean no. I…” He took a deep breath, collecting himself.
She admired that about him. Obviously, he was uncomfortable being here, in town with so many people about, but he was calling on tactics to keep himself steady. It meant he was trying, which was more than her father ever did.