by Natalie Dean
“Please. People have been shunning my family since I was born for daring to exist even near their precious Millers. I doubt someone like him would ever debase himself so much as to be a friend to me.”
Well, that just wasn’t true! Benji had never looked down on the Touhey farm. Well, okay, maybe he had told a joke or two at their expense through the years. And maybe he had never offered a neighborly hand. Maybe he had been far too amused when a couple of their ventures had fallen through… and hadn’t he also pressed Bradley to make a move on one of their clients when their ranch wasn’t able to keep up with the output the client needed?
Huh.
Maybe she had a point.
“Besides, I’ve got you, and I’ve got my family. I don’t need anyone else besides that, because people will always inevitably betray you.”
“That’s not a very healthy mindset, Dani.”
“But it’s a true one. People are cruel and selfish, with small shining exceptions every now and then just so they can pretend that they’re not as mean as they are. The trick is to accept those moments happily but never hold out the hope for more.”
“I, uh… gosh, Dani. That sounds so isolating.”
“It’s not normally. When my brothers are around.”
That seemed to kill the conversation as the two women moved on to the dairy section. Benji quickly retreated, but as he did, he couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to that girl. She was so bitter, so wounded, with walls higher than even his brothers.
He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t help but feel the urge to show her that life wasn’t as glum as she made out.
And also, perhaps, that he wasn’t as terrible as she assumed.
8
Danielle
Dani shut off the faucet, filling up the water canteen for the third time already, and she was still only half done with all the house plants. She wished that she could just unleash the garden hose inside, but that certainly wouldn’t work out well for… well… anything.
If there was one downside to being a Touhey woman—besides the overabundant figure—it was having a rather virulent green thumb. Ever since Dani could remember, their house had had plenty of plants all around the house. There was the spider queen up on the second floor, hung right beside the wide window at the end of the hall that let in plenty of light. There were approximately a million and one aloes, along with a few other flowering succulents. Ferns, snake plants, cast-iron plants, Chinese evergreens, English ivy along with a plethora of other vined plants. Basically, most of the house was covered in some sort of greenery and even with the large watering can they had, it often took a dozen or so refills to get it all.
Still, Dani had never minded. Her mother took care of them ninety percent of the time, and she or her brothers would pitch in whenever she wanted help. Their father had tried once but had somehow managed to overwater the Queen spider plant and almost killed her. After that, Mom had banished him from ever touching one of her babies again.
But, since both of them were on their way to the city, she had offered to take care of the watering so they could leave an hour or so early. And besides, it would give her something to do that didn’t involve digging posts or otherwise exacerbating her burns. She was supposed to put some ointment on them, but she hadn’t as of yet.
…she probably should get on that.
Whatever. It could wait until she was done watering. It wasn’t like she was like her brothers, all laid up and drugged to the high heavens. If she was, maybe she wouldn’t feel so full of guilt. She’d be blissfully unconscious.
A knock sounded on the door, nearly scaring her off the small step ladder she was standing on as she watered some of the hanging plants. They weren’t expecting anyone, but she guessed it made sense that a well-wisher might swing by to drop something off. Most of them had come during the first few days, but mayhap they had been busy with work, or even needed to wait until payday.
The door opened by the time she got down to the ground, and she was surprised to see none other than the Miller son step in, looking like he had definitely already gotten started working that morning.
“Oh,” he said, eyes going wide as he saw her standing there, one hand on the ladder, the other hand still gripping her watering can. “I’m sorry, I was just hoping to grab some more water. Your mother said I could help myself to your pitcher.”
“Right. Of course, she did.”
Her entire family was heavy water drinkers, dehydration never really being an issue for any of them. In response, her mother had gotten a truly massive water container that took up half of a shelf of the fridge, and it always had enough for several canteens in it.
Ugh, as much as she didn’t like this Miller boy—with his ridiculously good looks and that innocent, ‘aw-shucks!’ expression that he always wore, and his insane amount of money and his nice clothes—her Ma had drilled it into her to be a good host. So she set her watering can down and extended her hand.
“That’s okay. I’ll refill it myself,” he said.
“No. Have a seat.”
Huh. She probably could have worded that a little nicer, but oh well. She was at least somewhat trying.
The man gave her a strange look but did as she asked, handing over his expensive-looking, insulated canteen then going to take a seat at the kitchen table. Dani could feel his eyes on her as she filled the container up and squared her shoulders once she straightened.
She was half-tempted to toss him the canteen and let him be on his way, but a voice in the back of her head whispered that it wasn’t enough.
“You said your name was Benjamin, right?”
“Yeah, but most people call me Benji.”
“All right then, Benji, you hungry?”
Now he looked even more surprised, and Dani felt a small spike of irritation. What, was it so shocking that she wanted to be polite?
Well, given their last interaction, probably. But Keiko had said to give the man a chance, so she was. Even if she felt like an idiot doing so.
“Oh no, that’s perfectly all right.”
Dani narrowed her eyes at him, looking him over. While he wasn’t as jacked as that one military Miller, he was definitely a sculpted fellow. There was no way that the sculpted fellow wasn’t at least a little bit hungry after working all day.
“I literally have enough casseroles and deli meat in here to feed an army. You’d be helping us not waste it, which would be a shame.”
“Well… if it wouldn’t put you out…”
“I wouldn’t offer if it did. You got any allergies I should know about?”
He shook his head cautiously. “Just bee stings, miss.”
“Ew. Please, call me Dani. I can’t stand any of that miss or ma’am stuff. Reminds me of school.”
“Ah, I see.”
He didn’t say anything after that, just watched as she went about preparing him a plate. It was about as awkward as one would expect, and Dani wondered why in the heck she was even talking to him.
Actually, she was more ignoring him as she scooped from several different glass pans in their fridge then stuck it in the microwave. Although he had his canteen, she still grabbed a tall glass from a cabinet and filled it with a bit of crushed ice from the fridge and lemonade that she had made the night before.
She hadn’t been able to sleep, and even going outside to be in the quiet hadn’t really helped her, so she’d come in and made a pitcher of sweet tea and one of lemonade before she finally managed to settle into bed. It seemed that while her brothers were stuck in sleep, that bodily function was proving more and more elusive to her.
She set the large glass on the table in front of the still-apprehensive looking man and then the plate a few moments later. With a little more rifling, she soon presented him with a fork, knife, and napkin.
“That’s got green bean casserole, taco casserole, some cornbread and I think tetrazzini.”
“It looks great,” he said before digging in.
> As for herself, Dani was all noodled and carbed out for the first time in her entire life, so she settled for pouring herself her own glass of water from the spigot of the water jug. Once that was full, she leaned against the counter and looked over her guest again.
He really hadn’t changed much since high school, when he’d pretty much been a heartthrob there. His scar on his chiseled chin was a bit smaller, and his hair was a bit longer than the crew cut he had favored then, but otherwise, he was all around classic American boy.
And entirely out of her league.
Whoa, whoa. Why was she thinking about that? There were no leagues at all. She was utterly uninterested in anyone from their town. Or county. Or state even. She was not the romantic type.
“So, where are your parents?”
Dani blinked for a moment, having completely forgotten that he was actually sitting in front of her while her mind went on its panicked tangent.
“They’re visiting my brothers in the city. They’re probably going to stay there for a day or two, so it’s just me here.”
Why did she tell him that? Probably so he wouldn’t make the mistake of coming in and hoping for her mother’s soft smile or her dad’s terrible jokes. Not that Dad had managed to tell a single joke since the fire.
Dani’s stomach squeezed at that, and she turned to the window over the sink while she composed herself. She could not get all sniffly and weak in front of the Miller son. Goodness knew he probably already pitied her considering the situation and being pitied burned her skin like acid. She hated it, almost more than anything.
In her opinion, it was better to be hated than pitied. Besides, it was her fault her brothers were even in the hospital, so she didn’t deserve anything like pity. No, she deserved punishment. But no one was handing it out. Even her parents, who should despise her for almost killing her two siblings, were understanding and told her not to blame herself.
But who else was there to blame? The arsonist hadn’t shoved them in there. Dani had. …well, not literally. But close enough.
“Hey, are you all right?”
Dani quickly chugged the rest of her water and slammed the cup on the counter. “I’m fine,” she said, making sure to turn to him with her composure 100 percent in check. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because you’ve gone through something pretty traumatic and two people that you love very much are currently being treated for something very scary.”
Oh.
She hadn’t expected an answer remotely like that.
People always hated uncomfortable, emotional situations and would default to empty platitudes whenever they could. But that wasn’t what the Miller boy had just said. She looked at him with wide eyes, his words striking down to her core, while he regarded her with a soft sort of patience that didn’t make any sense.
Hadn’t she pretty much cut off any kindness from him with their introduction? She knew she had been less than pleasant, but he didn’t seem to care at all.
“Are you finished?” she asked instead, pointing to his plate.
Internally, she cursed how awkward she was when it came to most socialization. It was like she had spent so long making herself impervious to all the bullying and teasing that she had forgotten everything else. And she really should be nicer to the man who was helping her family so much.
He also looked down at his nearly empty plate and nodded. “Yeah. Thank you, again, for sharing.”
“No problem. Like I said, we’d probably end up throwing most of this out anyway.”
She didn’t mention how her parents rarely ate anything lately. She wished her own stomach would have that kind of reaction, but usually the worse she felt, the more it craved to be filled. But still, even if she was having a complete breakdown, she still wouldn’t be able to clean out the fridge before things started going bad.
“Still, it’s appreciated.”
He drained his lemonade and stood, hooking his canteen to his sturdy looking belt. He was lankier than the older Miller brothers, but still much taller than the other two she had gone to school with. She looked up at him and felt like maybe she was seeing a human for the first time instead of an adversary.
“Feel free to let yourself in for water, by the way. I can’t promise I’ll be here since there’s so much work to do, and I’ll probably be the only one on the property for the next few days.”
“All right.”
And then that was that. He headed towards the door and Dani readied herself to let out a long breath of relief the moment he was gone. But at the last moment, he turned, his eyes intense as they settled on her.
“I know it probably doesn’t seem like it, but I promise you not everybody wants to hurt you. There are decent people in this world.”
She blinked at him. “Wait, what?”
“I hope you feel safer once your brothers are back. And they will be.” He gave her a polite little nod then disappeared back out the door.
Dani stared after him, wondering where the heck that had come from. Her mind really couldn’t come up with anything, so she picked up the watering can. If she was going to be confused, she could at least be confused and productive.
But geez, the Millers were even stranger than she thought.
9
Danielle
She was surrounded by red. No orange. No, yellow? She couldn’t tell. The light was so intense it seemed to burn her vision right where she stood, searing her face in heat that had to be sizzling her skin.
Although she tried to call out, no words would leave her mouth. Only ash, pouring past her lips and down her front. She could feel it, not see it, and the gross chalkiness of it made her cough. She couldn’t breathe! She couldn’t breathe!
Sinking to her knees, her fingers dug into the ground below her, trying to haul her to safety. But she didn’t know where safety was. The only things that existed were the flames and the faint screams that echoed behind them.
There was no escape. She felt the flames close in on her, hungry to claim what had escaped them before. They reached for her, ravenous tendrils that wanted to snatch her up whole. She screamed and screamed, but there wasn’t any answer.
Dani sat up with a gasp, her head spinning and her stomach protesting violently. It was a nightmare. Just a nightmare.
Only a nightmare.
But her hands were shaking as she went to wipe her forehead and she still felt like she was going to vomit. Grabbing her now warm glass of water at her bedside, she quickly chugged it.
Her dry mouth taken care of, she focused on her breathing. She’d learned a few techniques from a school counselor who had wanted to help her through all the bullying she was experiencing for daring to be a fat and poor kid at the same time.
In. Hold it. Out.
Seven counts each.
She couldn’t hyperventilate if she forced herself to be mindful and in control of her lungs. All she had to do was count.
Eventually, she was able to calm down her harsh exhales, and she finally looked at the clock. Two in the morning. Geez. Normally she woke up around five thirty, but it felt pretty useless to try to go back to bed. Although fixing her breathing had helped, she still was very much hyped up on the adrenaline from the awful nightmare that had shaken her.
She sat there for several moments, contemplating playing on her phone in her bed, but she knew that would give her too much liberty to think, and at the moment that was the last thing she wanted. In fact, she was pretty sure that she would be happy if she never thought again.
After a brief internal struggle, she decided to get a head start on the chores. Maybe if she finished early enough, she could get some sort of reconstruction task started. Or at least planned out.
Nodding to herself, she slid out of bed and proceeded to put on a pair of comfortable work jeans and a flannel shirt. Normally it would be much too warm for that, but it was still early enough that the cool air would give her a chill once she worked up a sweat.
Having a task o
n the docket made her feel better, and she grew less nauseous as she filled up her canteen and slung it over her shoulder. She thought about sitting down and making herself breakfast to start the day on the right foot, but her stomach churned angrily. Maybe that would have to wait until later. Goodness knew a good day’s work was usually a sure-fire way to work up her appetite. Moving on, she double-checked that she had her keys and phone both in her pockets, then headed out towards their tiny secondary barn that had suddenly become their primary.
She opened the doors expecting to see a lot of sleepy animals who weren’t anticipating her a good four hours early, but instead, she saw a lot of awake animals and none other than Benji himself feeding them.
“What are you doing here?” she blurted out before she could think better of it.
Because it was obvious what he was doing there, she just didn’t know why. It was so early! Had he even left from when she had seen him the previous afternoon?
“I just figured you could use a little extra help since your parents are out in the city. I have a handful of workers coming this afternoon with some of our equipment. See if we can move a lot of the biggest debris off your farm.”
She couldn’t help it, she stared at him some more. The way he answered her question didn’t sound cocky, or “look at me, I’m so good and impressive for doing this for you.” No, it was just… matter of fact. As if helping her was just something that was expected of him. As if it was perfectly natural to be up even before the crack of dawn and feeding their livestock beyond what he had already done to help them.
“I, uh… you really don’t have to.”
“I know. But it’s not about having to. I want to.”
Why did it sound like he actually did? That didn’t make any sense and went against the entire image she had in her head.
Suddenly it was all a bit much for her. Hadn’t she had enough to deal with lately? She took another look at him, at his rippling forearms as he held the feedbag, then to the animals before words were erupting from her mouth.