by Natalie Dean
They made a sort of sense, but they also made Dani feel worse. Depression? Trauma? Those were things she was just supposed to power through.
“No problem. I live to serve. Now, long term, I think perhaps seeing a counselor or therapist wouldn’t hurt. But in the meantime, I think I know what might help.”
“Oh, what’s that?” Dani asked.
Suddenly she was exhausted. So exhausted, and she just wanted to sink into her mattress and never come out.
“Here, come with me. We’re going to get you showered and cleaned up.”
“Aw, come on, Keiko. I really don’t wanna go outside.”
“I know, which is why we’re doing exactly that. Up and at ’em. You’ll feel better if you clean all that guilt and oil off yourself.”
Dani chuckled a bit to herself. “Yes, that’s me. Guilt and oil.”
“Yeah, yeah. Come on now.”
Keiko got up, pulling Dani with her, who let the slighter woman rouse her to her feet. In that steely but quiet way of hers, Keiko herded her toward the bathroom and started to run the water. But when she tried to peel off Dani’s shirt, that was when she finally spoke up.
“I can handle this part myself.”
“You sure? I couldn’t tell considering that this shirt seems like it’s been on your body far longer than it was supposed to be.”
“Hardy har. You’re hilarious. I’ll shower, all right? Clean behind my ears and everything. I promise.”
“All right. I’ll go get you a glass of water and a change of clothes. I’m thinking that you and I should take a day together. Reconnect, blow off some steam, you know the drill.”
Dani smiled to herself. She really was lucky to have someone like Keiko in her life. She didn’t think that she would have survived high school without her friendship.
And it turned out she was pretty right. While the shower didn’t exactly cure all her ills and make her feel any less embarrassed about pulling the Great Escape on Benji, it did help her feel slightly less miserable.
Almost refreshed.
A knock sounded at the door when she was in the middle of giving herself a really good scrub. She barely heard it over the shower water and turned the spray down.
“Uh, hello?”
“It’s Keiko. I wanted to put the water and change of clothes on the sink. Can I come in?”
Living in a small, two-story house with five people and only one bathroom, the Touheys had long since learned to get very opaque shower curtains in case someone needed to use the restroom while someone else was showering. Dani made sure she was relatively shielded enough before answering.
“Sure, come on in.”
It wasn’t that Dani was ashamed of her body most of the time, and it wasn’t that she distrusted Keiko, but she had always been private with her body, no matter who she was with. It was hers, really the only thing that she had any inherent ownership of, and so she was incredibly selective of who she shared it with.
And by selective, she meant absolutely no one.
“I’ll be down in the kitchen when you’re done. No hurry. I want you to take as much time as you need.”
“Don’t worry,” Dani said with a laugh, feeling like she was almost returning to her old self. “I don’t know how I’d forgotten how nice a steaming hot shower is in just a couple of days.”
“Well, being stuck in your own misery loop can do that to people.”
“Fair point.”
True to her word, Keiko set the things on the sink and headed right back out. Dani enjoyed somewhere between five to ten minutes more of the shower before kicking herself out. She didn’t want to use up all the hot water in case her parents wanted to take a turn in the next few hours. Granted, they were usually early risers, but it never hurt to be considerate.
Once she was out, she thoroughly dried herself, actually taking the time to blow dry her hair on cool and brush it out. There were still a couple of knots left over even after her thorough conditioning, and that took a bit of work with her paddle brush to get out.
When she was finally all done and dressed, she looked in the mirror. There, that was more like the Dani she knew. Less bridge troll and more curvy woman who knew how to take care of herself.
Yeah.
Now she just had to not think about Benji for the rest of the day.
She had a feeling that was easier said than done.
18
Danielle
Dani headed down the stairs, empty glass in hand. She found Keiko in the kitchen, standing in front of the window and conversing softly with Dani’s parents.
“I’m ready,” she said, giving her parents a smile.
They looked relieved, and she felt a bit guilty again at worrying them. She really had been selfish the past couple of days, hadn’t she? It was a wonder she had never joined the theater club with Keiko considering how dramatically she had let herself wither.
Oh well. What was done was done. She was moving forward, as Keiko said.
“Great,” Keiko said, pushing off of the counter and reaching her hand out again. “Let’s go.”
“Where are we headed? We could go to the city to hit up the theater…”
Dani couldn’t remember the last time that she had been to a movie. Tickets were so expensive, and she was always so busy, but today seemed like a day to take care of herself.
“You’ll see.”
“What do you mean, you’ll see?”
But Keiko didn’t answer. She just grabbed Dani’s hand and hurried her out the door, her smile broad and far too sneaky.
Before Dani could object, or even really figure out what was happening, she was out on the small porch, down the steps and walking through the garden.
She wasn’t quite sure what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t Benji, standing there in a nice shirt, tie and jeans, looking at her like she was the sun that had just risen.
All of the air whooshed out of her and she looked to Keiko in confusion. “What is going on?”
“Remember what I said about maybe not assuming the worst in people? If you’re willing to take a chance, I think you could have a really fun day today.”
Dani looked at her friend incredulously. “You set me up!”
Her eyes crinkled when she smiled in the way that only Keiko could. “I’m giving you a choice. If you want to walk away and go right up to your room, you can. But I think, maybe, that you really don’t want to do that.”
Dani looked from her friend to Benji and back. He looked so handsome, all clean-cut and dressed up, staring at her with that look that made her want to believe all sorts of impossible things.
“I, uh… I suppose I could give it a try.”
“Good,” she said, letting go of Dani’s hand. “That’s all I ask.”
Then she was walking off toward the house, leaving the two together.
“Uh, so… what are you doing here?” Dani started with, wincing at the silly question. But Benji just took it in stride, walking right up to her and extending his hand.
“Hopefully showing you that I just might be worth trusting.”
“But why would you care after I—”
He shook his head. “Let’s not talk about that awful woman and that awful ending. We all respond to stress differently, and you did what you thought what you needed to do given the situation.”
She gently placed her hand in his, and he led her to the end of the garden where a small tent was set up, chiffon curtains hanging in gauzy layers around the edges.
“But what I’d like to do, is maybe give you some pleasant memories to wipe away all of that awfulness.”
“That’s not really how memories work,” she murmured, looking at the table set in the center of the mini-tent with a chair on either side of it. “But okay.”
He led her all the way up to one of the chairs and pulled it back, looking at her expectantly. She sat down, and he pushed her chair up to the table.
Now that she was closer, she could see tha
t there was a pitcher of some sort of sparkling drink and little tea snacks or whatever they were called. They were cute, pretty and looked utterly delicious.
“What’s all this?” she asked, looking over the table curiously.
“The best way to start the day is a healthy breakfast, and if you’re game, I’d like to think I have a good day planned for us.”
“Breakfast? It’s past eleven.”
Why did she have to question everything? She bit her lip, looking at him with an apologetic expression, but he just smiled and handed her a plate.
“Help yourself,” he said, picking up what looked like a tiny cucumber sandwich and popping it in his mouth. “And this is sparkling lemonade if you’re thirsty.”
Dani’s eyebrows went up to her hairline. “I didn’t even know that was a thing.”
“Well, I’m sure that it doesn’t compare to your homemade mixture, but my Ma swears by this stuff.”
“Is your Ma the one who put you up to this?” she asked cautiously.
“No. Hardly. Like I’d ever let her know how badly I botched our first date.”
“You?” she asked incredulously. “Rachel was the one who ruined everything, and then I made it worse by climbing out the window like some sort of reverse-burglar.”
“Reverse burglar? Hah, I like that.” He smiled at her, and his eyes did that thing again that made her heart race. “But I don’t think I’d complain about you creeping through my window.”
She blushed and looked down at her plate. “I don’t understand. I was really immature. You should be furious with me.”
“You think so?” He rested that chin of his in his hand, his normal shadow of stubble gone.
Huh, he had completely clean-shaven his face just for her. Or was she looking too far into that?
“The way I see it, I should have known better. It’s because I didn’t take your warnings about people seriously that we ended up somewhere you got hurt.”
“I wasn’t hurt!” she objected automatically before he gave her a patient look. “I mean… not really hurt. Not like—”
“Your brothers?” he asked. “Dani, I know you’ve got a lot of conflicting emotions there, and we’re not to the place yet where you’d share those with me, but you gotta stop comparing everything in life to that level of tragedy. You’re allowed to be upset that an old bully got your goat. You’re allowed to be embarrassed that you were carried through a restaurant. Your pain is real. You don’t have to end up in the hospital in an induced coma to justify how you feel.”
She leaned forward, resting her head in her hands so she could escape that intense look of his. “I don’t understand why you’re doing all of this for me. I’ve been nothing but mean to you. This past month I’ve been on some of the worst behavior of my life.”
“Dani, you’ve had an arsonist attack your home, the place you feel safe, the place where the people you love live, twice. I can’t imagine the sort of anxiety and stress that would bring on. But I’ve seen you try to shoulder it all, and I want you to know, you don’t have to. Okay?”
She could feel tears pricking at the corners of her eyes and all she wanted to do was get off the rollercoaster of emotions that someone had strapped her into.
“I… it’s just a lot, okay? I want to believe you. That you’re good and you want to help me, but it’s so hard to not listen to that nasty voice inside of me that tells me you’re just like everyone else.”
“I know,” he said, his hand slowly sliding across the table. It was a peace offering, it seemed, and she took several deep breaths before letting her own palm rest on top of his. “And I’m not asking you to just hand me the keys to your life and treat me like Keiko.”
“What are you asking for, then?” she asked, eager to keep him talking. Because if he was talking, then she didn’t have to.
“For you to give me today. That’s it. Nothing more, and nothing less.”
She took another deep breath, gathering herself. “I can do that.”
“Good,” he flashed her a smile that made her heart flutter even more, and she almost had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. “You should try all these snacks though. I got them from this specialty place in the city, and they’re really good.”
“You went all the way to the city for these?”
He shook his head. “Nah, I was busy fixing my face this morning and working on, uh, a couple other things. I ordered them online yesterday and had them delivered this morning.”
“I can’t believe you went through all of this for me,” Dani said, shaking her head.
“Well, you’re worth it.”
Another blush and she reached over to the closest treat, shoving it into her mouth. It turned out to be some sort of citrusy macaroon and her eyes closed in ecstasy.
“Oh wow, that’s good,” she practically moaned, holding her hand in front of her mouth in an effort to be at least a little polite.
“Glad you like it. And don’t worry about any leftovers. Keiko said she’d decimate them after we move on. Although I don’t know how much damage she can do.”
Dani swallowed the delicious food and allowed herself a snort. “You have no idea. Keiko can put it away better than anybody I know.”
“Really? But she’s so… so…”
“Itty bitty? Yeah, it’s pretty astounding when you see it. Maybe we should all take a trip to the city sometime and go to this all-you-can-eat Mexican buffet that she’s crazy about.”
“Oh, so does that mean you’ll want to hang out with me again?” he countered, giving her a snarky look.
“Maybe, I don’t know. I suppose that depends on how today goes, since you’ve apparently got all these plans.”
“I do indeed.”
They fell into a comfortable sort of quiet as they munched on the snacks. It wasn’t super filling fare, but it was all very tasty. It didn’t weigh her down or get the too full feeling like mac n’ cheese or a meaty meal would.
After the pitcher was drained and maybe a half an hour or so passed, Dani felt like she was ready to move on. Her curiosity was building up anticipation in her, urging her onward.
“Are you ready to head out?” she asked, looking at Benji.
“If you are,” he said, putting some sort of smoked salmon thing onto a crouton-like piece of bread that she could tell was expensive, then popping it into his mouth.
“Yeah, I think I’m to the point where I want to know what you’re up to.”
“What I’m up to? You make me sound so sneaky.”
“Well, you did just enlist my best friend to trick me out of the house and onto this… adventure.”
“Ow, trick? Such hard language.” He stood and offered her his hand. “Dani, are you ready for a full day of being wooed and generally treated like the lovely lady that you are?”
“Lady?” she asked dubiously. “I think I wear far too many overalls for that.”
“You and I both know that denim and other clothes have no bearing on if you’re a woman or not.”
“Well, maybe…” She took his hand as he gently pulled her up. Together, they walked back in the direction of the house before turning a bit to the side. “What? Is the second destination my vegetable garden?”
“Not quite, but it is waiting for you beside your vegetable garden.”
“Huh. It’s waiting for me?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Interesting.”
“You’re not going to figure it out.”
She could hear the smirk in his voice. “Is that so?”
“Yeah, that’s so.”
Her mind bounced about a dozen things it could be, but none of them made sense. She was so deep in her own thought that they ended up around the shed and in front of the garden without even realizing it.
“Is that… Is that a buggy?” she asked, eyes going wide.
That couldn’t be. That was absolutely impossible. And yet what was standing in front of her could only be the small carriage th
at used to be so popular on the frontier.
There was a different horse standing there than the one he normally rode around on, thicker and taller with full tack on. He was attached to a beautiful, two-wheeled setup, the wood all polished to such a bright shine that the glint was almost blinding.
The sun canopy overhead was a light blue, much brighter and cheerier than the solid black she was used to seeing in history books, and the cushioned bench was a more royal version of the shade.
Even the spokes of the wheels had been painted a bright and happy gold, making the entire thing look refined and expensive without being gaudy.
“How did you even get this?” she asked, rushing to it but making sure she was far enough not to spook the horse with her sudden movement. “This is amazing.”
“Glad you like it.” He moseyed up beside her and offered his hand again, but she wasn’t ready to get in quite yet.
“No, seriously, how did you get your hands on this?”
“Hah, well, to be honest, this was originally a gift I was working on in my spare time so that Pa and Ben could take their ladies on romantic rides. But then Bart and Missy started to be a thing so I figured they could use it too.”
“But I’m not any of those people.”
“No. You’re not. But we all agreed that you should be the first one to test it out.”
“Really?” Dani didn’t know what to say. The buggy in front of her was beautiful and she couldn’t believe that Benji had built it himself. “I can’t believe you made this.”
“Well, I can’t take all the credit. I was the one who started it and worked on it at first last year, but my brothers have been chipping in. Especially Bart, considering how much better he’s been lately. Makes a real good wrench monkey.”
Dani reached out tentatively, her fingers gliding along the smooth, polished wood. “This is… this is really amazing, you know that.”
He didn’t answer for a moment, so she pried her gaze away from the work of art in front of her to see him looking at her, a flush over his face and his eyes much more intense than she was prepared for.
“It means a lot to hear you say that.”
“Well, I mean it,” she finished weakly before taking his hand and letting him help her up into the seat. Once she was settled, he slid in next to her and reached for the reins. “So where are we going?” she asked once she had her wits about her again.