by Natalie Dean
She turned to him and flashed him such a brilliant smile that his comforting words stilled on his tongue. “Yet here I am. I have my choice to go into any of these. Or all of them, if I wanted. Because I deserve nice things. I belong in nice places. And I’m finally beginning to believe that.”
A bubbling, sweeping sort of warmth rushed through Bradley at that, like the floodgates that had been holding so much back were finally open. Despite practically living in the same house for almost a quarter of a year, he didn’t think he’d ever heard Sophia say anything nice about herself. Or that she deserved something. To have her say those words entirely on her own told him that they really were doing right by her. That they were helping. And that was all he wanted.
Well, and maybe he also wanted to hold her like he had that night in his truck, but that was inappropriate, and he was actively trying not to do that.
“I’m glad you are,” he managed to say with a somewhat steady voice. “Because you do deserve nice things. You really do.”
“Thanks. That means a lot.”
Their eyes locked onto each others, and he felt more connected to her than he ever had to someone who wasn’t family. But the longer they stared, the more intense the moment grew, until it was too much. Too heavy for what they were supposed to be doing right now, which was shopping.
Clearing his throat, Bradley tore his gaze away. “So, you want to go into this one?”
“I… I think we should walk the entire boulevard and look at all of them, then on our way back decide which to go into.”
“Sure. Whatever you want.”
“Funny thing, I think I’m finally able to actually want things.”
“I guess I’ve got some good timing then.”
17
Sophia
If four months earlier someone had told her that she would be walking down some high-end boulevard with her pick of any store to go into and any of the clothes that were inside, she would have told them they were crazy.
And yet, that was exactly how she was spending her afternoon and early evening, leisurely strolling hand-in-hand with Bradley.
She felt… well, she didn’t really have a word for it, but it was the most amazing feeling. It was a mix of safe, and happy, and excited, and all sorts of good, fuzzy things that made her toes curl.
Did Bradley know? Did he really understand what he did for her? She had spent all of the past two years looking over her shoulder, always feeling her ex watching her, always fearing he was right there, waiting for her. But when she was with him, she didn’t feel that same unending terror. She felt safe. Although her ex’s father had tried to use his connections, it was clear that he was afraid of Bradley. Not since that fight in the inn had he faced Bradley, and she knew he wouldn’t.
Because her ex was a coward. She knew that now. He had always been stronger than her, and she thought smarter than her, but the truth was that he was weak, and the only way he thought he could keep her was if he cut her down until she was weak like him too.
She was still angry that she had lost so much of her life to him. That his tendrils still had a home in her brain, whispering to trust no one. Whispering that she could never do anything right. Making her feel like she was a slut for wearing make-up or for wearing a pretty outfit. But she was stopping that.
Sure, it wasn’t going to be easy. It wasn’t going to be quick. Her first meeting with her therapist hadn’t touched on a single one of the issues she knew that she needed to work on. That first visit had been about explaining her situation and outlining her goals for treatment.
It would be easy if Sophia could take her whole brain out and give it a good scrub, but that wasn’t how life worked.
But in the meantime, she would enjoy everything Bradley was willing to give her.
Which, at the moment, certainly seemed like quite a lot.
“Let’s try this one,” she said, pointing to a storefront as they circled back around.
There were some loose and beaded dresses in the window complete with practical looking shoes on display. Although Sophia loved the dress that Missy had ordered her, she was still a bit uncomfortable in anything too formfitting. She remembered once wearing something similar for a date night with her ex, and he’d flown into a rage, accusing her of trying to seduce everyone around her and being a slut.
But Bradley would never do that. She knew that. She had been tricked by her ex’s Prince Charming act when she was young and naïve, but that wasn’t what was happening with the Miller son. He wasn’t anything like her ex.
Which also meant that most of the time, she had no idea how she was supposed to act around him, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“Alright, you look around for something you like, and I’ll uh, stand in the corner and try not to get my dirty hands on anything.”
Sophia gave Bradley a look. “Huh-uh. Don’t you act like you’ve been out in the fields all day. I don’t think I’ve even seen so much as grit under your nails. You wanted to shop, then let’s shop.”
He huffed for only a moment before giving in. Sophia smiled to herself and led him over to what looked to be the right area for dresses in her size. She got the feeling that she could ask almost anything from the man, and he would give it to her, which confused her a bit. He didn’t seem interested in kissing her again, or really pursuing her romantically, but he doted on her and cared about pleasing her and sometimes when he looked at her…
Ah, it wasn’t the right time for those kinds of thoughts.
“What’s your favorite color?” she asked, looking over the dresses. She’d done some research while she was waiting for the shower water to warm up back at the house, and figured she wanted something stately but not over the top. It was a nice evening, not a gala.
Oh goodness, would Bradley ever take her to a gala? Did she want to go to a gala? It wasn’t exactly ever an option before, and he didn’t really seem like the gala type, but she was sure if she even hinted at it that he would whisk her away when the opportunity presented itself.
That thought made her dizzy.
“Uh, I don’t really have one.”
“Nonsense. Everyone has a favorite color.”
“I don’t.”
Something about his tone caught her attention, and she looked him over. His feet were wider apart, and his arms were crossed. He was looking past her shoulder, not making eye contact with her. If there was one thing that Bradley was all about, it was that long, persistent gaze whenever he was figuring something out.
“You’re lying.”
He shifted a bit. “It’s… it’s just dumb.”
“How can a favorite color be dumb.”
He shrugged. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
Now Sophia was officially intrigued. “Come on, it’s just a color! Why are you treating it like your secret weakness or something? What, is it the color of some competitor’s brand and you don’t want your family to know?”
“No, nothing like that. It’s just,” he sighed, then rolled his eyes, but eventually gave in like she knew he would. “It uh, it’s… it’s pink.”
“Pink?” she repeated. She hadn’t been sure what to expect, but that wasn’t it.
“Yeah. It’s been that way ever since we were little. To me, it just seemed like a lot of great things are pink.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, like the little footpads on kittens, the noses of some of our cows. Little piglets. I remember when Ma was just beginning to go grey, she dyed her hair red. It was pretty, but then it faded to this rosy color and I thought it was just the most magical thing.”
His tone grew a bit wistful, and Sophia watched the myriad of emotions cross his face.
“Pink is the color of the sky right where it switches from twilight to daylight. I always liked that time, and I’d wake up early to read a book and watch the sunrise. Pink is the color of new skin and healing. The color of blush on a beautiful woman after you compliment her.” His eyes flicked to her face. “Th
e color of soft lips before you kiss them all red.”
That made her heartrate rocket up, and it almost seemed like he leaned towards her, but he recovered quickly. “Heck, it goes great with just about everything and ranges all the way from the duskiest, faintest flush all the way up to neon. I made the mistake of telling my brothers once, and, well… they wouldn’t let me live it down. Nowadays I just say red but… I don’t know, it didn’t seem right to lie about it to you.”
“Pink is a great color,” Sophia said, feeling special that he had trusted her with something he was obviously sensitive about. Sure, maybe it was just a color, but it meant a lot. “I’m sure I can find something.”
“Aw, you don’t have to base your dress on what I—”
“Oh, look! There’s one here!”
She grabbed the garment and pulled it out, pleased to see it was around her size. Looking around, she spotted the dressing room and pulled him towards it.
“Wait here,” she said, pointing him to a spot just outside of it.
He did, and she headed inside. It was a quick matter to get out of her casual clothes, but when she went to try the dress on, she was disappointed to find that it was swimming on her. And not in the comforting, protective way she liked. Just more like a bag.
Well, that sucked.
“Looks like this isn’t the one,” she said, getting dressed. “But that’s alright. There was another shop I wanted to go to.”
“You really don’t have to get a pink dress just because I like the color. I like a lot of colors.”
“It’s too late. My mind’s made up. You just keep track of the time to make sure I don’t run out.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Hanging the dress up on the hook at the door, she grabbed Bradley’s hand and headed out of the store. She couldn’t remember the last time that she’d had so much fun, and the night was just getting started.
This was it.
Sophia looked in the mirror, turning this way and that. They were in their third shop, and even though she loved spending time with Bradley, she was starting to be a little over the whole shopping thing.
But all of it was worth it, because she was standing in a dressing room, dressed like a princess.
The dress was a beautiful, light pink, reminding her of pink baby’s breath and shimmering magic. It was fitted at the top, with lace sleeves, but the bottom was loose and flowing in multiple layers of chiffon. Or some other lightweight, translucent fabric. Sophia wasn’t exactly an expert.
“I think I found it!” she said excitedly, knowing that Bradley was right out there where she had left him.
“Really?”
It pleased her that he sounded almost as excited as she felt. “Yeah, really.”
“Well then, come on out! Let me see!”
Sophia took a deep breath and then opened the door of the small changing room, giving a little twirl. It wasn’t like her to be showy, but she thought it was definitely a special occasion.
“So, what do you think?”
But he just stood there, staring at her.
“Uh, do you not like it?”
“Uh, uh no, I love it. You… you look beautiful.” He huffed again. “I mean, beautiful doesn’t even cut it. You almost don’t even look real. Like someone just plucked you out of a book and put you here.”
She felt that bubbling warmth rush through her again. Just like it did whenever he landed one of those compliments on her. She’d never met anyone who could dole out nice things so matter-of-factly.
“Really? What kind of book?”
“I dunno. Maybe a fantasy with elves and princesses and magic. Or maybe some historical romance with castles and royalty, maybe a little intrigue thrown in.”
“Wow, that good, huh?” She took a step towards him, looking up at him through her lashes. He was so tall, compared to her, and he was the shortest of all his brothers. The Millers were some giant people, alright, with even diminutive Ma being only an inch or so taller than her.
He stiffened slightly, just like he always did when they were close. Did she disgust him? Did he hate it?
“More than that,” he said. “I’ve just never been very good with words.”
“I dunno, you seem to do just fine to me.” She took another step.
“Well, that’s good to know.”
A final step. They were almost chest to chest, and her neck was craned upwards to look at his handsome face. “Is it?”
“Is it what?”
“Good to know.”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, it is.”
She didn’t have a plan, didn’t think. Instead, she just pushed herself up on her tiptoes and…
“That dress really is a lovely color on you! Now we just need to get you some shoes to go with it!”
The voice of the salesperson brought them both back into the moment, and Bradley stepped away. “Uh, shoes. Yeah, you’re right. Sophia, what’s your size?”
“Between six and seven and a half depending on the brand,” she answered, somewhat in a daze from the sudden mood whiplash.
“Really? Geez, not even shoes are simple for women, huh?”
“Blame the fashion industry and the misogynistic demands it caters to.”
His eyes narrowed at that. “You been talking to Dani?”
“No, why?”
“Nothing, just sounds like something she said in the middle of her five-minute rant about purses.”
“I hate purses,” Sophia said quickly. “They’re why women’s clothes never have good pockets.”
“And there it is.” He shook his head, chuckling as he followed the sales associate. “You really do fit in just right.”
Sophia walked after him, acting like everything was perfectly normal, but inside his words made her glow.
She fit in.
She belonged.
And for the moment, that was all she needed.
18
Bradley
Bradley felt like he was ten feet tall as he entered the theater, Sophia all dolled up and on his arm with her ring shining on her finger.
Yeah, he knew their engagement was fake. And yeah, he knew that one day she might leave him when they got her whole ex thing fully settled. But none of that mattered. All that mattered was that she was there, with him, sharing an experience.
“Oh, my goodness!” she whispered next to him, her head swiveling this way and that as she looked around.
After buying her that perfect, perfect dress that fit her exactly how a beautiful gown should, they’d gone to get some crepes from one of the local shops then headed off to a salon. It was strange, Bradley had never been much of one for shopping or even spending his own money, but he loved everything about his little trip with Sophia.
Seeing her laugh, seeing her smile, seeing her brows furrow as she held up a dress and inspected it, how excited she got when she found one in her size. And when she had first come out of the dressing room in what she was wearing now? Priceless. Utterly priceless.
Thankfully, the salon process had been pretty fast. Sophia had asked for long layers—not that he knew what that meant—but she seemed pleased with what the salon had done. They cut off a few inches and put something in it that apparently gave it ‘texture and body.’ Bradley didn’t understand even half the science of it, but he did appreciate how it accentuated Sophia’s beautiful bone structure.
Her eyelashes had what looked like gold shimmer and somehow they were magically twice as long, but perhaps what caught his attention most of all were her dusky pink lips.
It was hard for his eyes not to keep sliding there, memories replaying in his head the instant they did. He wondered what it would feel like to press his lips to hers again, to show her all that he felt, all that he had been holding back.
But he couldn’t, so instead, he tried his best not to look.
“I can’t believe I’m really here.” Sophia breathed out a sigh. “When I was younger, I always wanted to see plays on Broadway, but of cour
se that wasn’t something that we could ever afford.”
“Well, this isn’t quite Broadway, but it’s pretty nice.”
“I’ll say!” She pulled him towards the stairs, which were lined with a lush green rub with gold embellishments. “Are we this way?”
“We are, but there’s an elevator if you want to take it.”
“No, I want to see all of this place. We can take the elevator down when it’s time to go home and my feet are aching from these heels.”
“You know we’re going to be sitting down, right?”
“Yeah, but that still puts pressure on my feet,” she said it like it was silly to think otherwise. “And crossing your legs is terrible for your hips, and I am not gonna end up with a hip replacement at fifty-five like my abuelita.”
“Wait, sitting cross-legged will mess up your hips?”
She only barely paid attention to Bradley as she strode up the stairs, pausing half-way up to stare at one of the chandeliers above. It wasn’t the most ostentatious one he’d ever seen, but it was still pretty showy.
“Yup and sitting on your wallet can mess up your back. Makes your sacrum tilted.”
“Wait, my what now?”
“Your sacrum. You know, the bony thing that makes up your pelvic wall. It’s like, a big deal for all the rotating our hips do. Stabilizes stuff, has a lot of muscles attached to it?”
“How do you even know that?”
“Uh, drawing, I guess. Helps to know a lot of anatomy. You’re not the only one who likes to read, you know.”
“I see.”
Bradley had never thought that Sophia was dumb, not even close, but it was interesting to hear her spout off something a bit nerdy so casually.
…he was pretty sure he liked it.
They reached the top of the stairs, and she took his hand again. “Okay, now, where do we sit?”
“This way.”
Smiling, he led her to the side. He hadn’t been able to get a seat in the sweet spot he usually liked, but there had been a box seat open. He figured that would definitely be an experience for Sophia, so he paid the extra amount happily.