She has the zeal of a new believer since she fell in love with Leo. Her matchmaking is probably just a symptom of getting engaged. It seems wedding planning has only increased her desire to see everybody paired off and as happy as she is. I overheard her asking Leo about Angeline’s love life the other day.
Or maybe she’s feeling it too, that the wedding will mark the end of the time we’ve spent together, just the two of us. Our safe little hideaway where we both licked our respective wounds, painted walls and drank hot chocolate is changing. Maybe she’s worried about me. That seems much more like her than an assumption that a man is all we need to make everything better.
She doesn’t reply and I glance over at her. She’s staring into the distance and hasn’t seen Pickwick drop his ball at her feet again.
‘Sorry, Poppy, I didn’t mean it. I appreciate you trying to help, really I do.’
I shift up next to her on the grass and rest my head on her shoulder, awkwardly giving her a half hug. Only awkward because the Chihuahuas insist on being in the middle of it and the logistics are difficult.
‘Is it too early for a drink, do you suppose?’ Poppy asks, finally noticing Pickwick and throwing his ball for him again.
‘Definitely not too early but I’ll have to wait until later, I’ve got a supermarket shop to do.’ I rub at my temples.
‘Have you still not got rid of your migraine from last night?’ Poppy asks, solicitously. ‘I can do the supermarket shop today if you like?’
‘Have you got time? I might be all right if I take more meds.’ My offer is half-hearted though. I am starting to get familiar stabbing pains behind one of my eyes. I don’t mention I’m supposed to be giving Cal a lift. I really wasn’t looking forward to having to make polite conversation for the duration, pretending I don’t know what he really thinks of me. Holding my tongue for Poppy and Leo’s sake is going to be hard but I’ll try. I owe them that much.
It’s all my own fault that I really do have a migraine coming on now, karma for saying I had one last night, or maybe it’s my body giving me an out. I throw the ball that has just landed on my foot.
‘Don’t be silly, it’s fine,’ Poppy says, as I knew she would. ‘Why don’t you go and take your meds and lie down? If you’re okay this evening we’ll have that drink.’
‘Okay.’ My sleep-deprived mind readily accepts. We get to our feet, both watching Pickwick as he heads off into the grass that’s taller than he is in places, utterly undaunted and relentlessly optimistic. Bounce, bounce, bounce …
Chapter 3
‘If all you can do is crawl, start crawling’
Rumi
From callum@callum’scook-off.com
To caitlino’[email protected]
Subject: You were right
So I’m still reeling from our Skype convo!!! I cannot believe I’m going to be an uncle! Life suddenly got real. I guess Mam’s already putting you under loads of pressure to move back to Ireland already?
I can only assume your mother-to-be status has conferred extra wisdom on you because you were right – I really did need to take some time out to get my head straight. Well either that or you’ve been right all along that being five minutes older than me does make you that much wiser!
Seriously though, coming to the south of France was a really good idea. I’m already feeling less stressed. It’s fun helping Leo set up the château restaurant and I’m loving being in France again. I’d forgotten how much I enjoy planning the perfect menu, getting back to creating great food, instead of having to focus on creating good TV.
Talking of TV you’ll never guess who else is working here, staying in the same house in fact … All I’ll say is that there’s a link to one of your favourite shows. Do you want to try to guess? I would tell you but I know you’ll be insufferable after the ‘wiser than me’ comment so I have to make you suffer a little.
Take care of yourself Caitlin and say hi to Mike from me.
‘Joanna …’ Poppy’s tone is half optimism, half entreaty. She sits down at the kitchen table and I wonder what the topic is today. I do hope she’s not going to give me grief about avoiding Cal. I’ve become rather skilled at it, if I do say so myself. The great thing about having a guesthouse to run is that there is always housework or laundry or shopping to be done. Whenever it looks like Cal might be about to engage me in conversation or the others try to get me to join in with an outing I simply pluck a task from the household or wedding ‘do-it’ list I share with Poppy and claim it’s urgent.
In spite of the list being on Poppy’s phone she hasn’t got to grips with it yet, so she doesn’t have the ammunition to refute my claims.
I avoid being alone with him at all costs. The odd moment between us in the kitchen that first morning showed me how dangerous it could be. There’s chemistry between us, that’s undeniable, but chemistry can be potentially explosive. I’ve already blown my life up once for a man. I don’t intend making the same mistake twice.
The dogs mill around us, sticking their noses in the air hopefully and then retreating beneath the table with a collective canine sigh once they realise I’m only preparing salad. Even Peanut, who gets more excited about apples than chicken and is the only dog I know who will eat broccoli without the added inducements of gravy or cheese, draws a firm line at eating lettuce.
‘Poppy …’ I mimic her tone and grin to show her I’m just teasing.
I put down my knife and stop chopping cucumber for a minute to get up and fetch the dogs a duck strip treat each. It took all of thirty seconds for that disappointed dog sigh to work on me. Yes, they’ve got me wrapped around their little paws. It took them no time at all to train me up into a half decent dog-servant.
‘You know Leo’s being stubborn about me getting another rescue dog?’
‘Hmm,’ I reply noncommittally. Personally, I can see Leo’s point that five dogs is enough for one household, particularly when they’re having a game of indoor chase or starting a howling competition with the other village dogs, and I happen to be one of their biggest fans. I think I know where this is going. She’s failed to persuade Leo so she’s going to have another try with me.
‘I suppose I can see his point … maybe,’ she adds grudgingly. ‘Anyway, I was thinking, if we do end up living at Leo’s instead of here at Les Coquelicots then that would leave you isolated. I know we wouldn’t be that far away but even so I think you could do with a dog to keep you company, and it would be good for protection, you know? Apparently, dogs are the best burglar deterrent there is.’
‘Maybe,’ I reply cautiously and move to sit down next to her. ‘You know how much I like dogs and I’d love to own one but I’m still not sure it’d be right to do it until I’m settled.’
‘You are settled.’ Poppy tilts her chin up. ‘I keep trying to tell you to consider Les Coquelicots your home too. I mean it. Quite apart from the fact you’re part of the pack now, from a totally selfish point of view, how on earth would I ever manage without you?’
Her smile is disarming, I can tell she really means it and I feel my resolve melting.
‘So, we’re still talking about that puppy you can’t stop thinking about, are we? Go on then, show me. Is he cute?’ I obediently take the bait and I hold my hand out for her phone.
‘One of the cutest things you’ll ever see, I promise.’ Poppy hands over her iPhone to me, beaming. ‘I just know you’re going to fall in love with him.’
On the screen is a cute little sandy-coloured puppy who looks a lot like a Chihuahua but without the typical apple- or fox-shaped head that Treacle and Peanut have. He has one ear sticking up and one ear dangling down, a long swishy tail and white socks on his front paws, one higher than the other as though he needs to be told to pull his socks up. He has a cheeky glint in his eye and still looks very young. He’ll be trouble, I know. It’ll be extra work because I’ll have to train him on top of everything else … but … I want him.
‘He has ears like Barney’s,’ I say a
nd hand the phone back to Poppy. Barney hears his name and looks up hopefully, so I give his head a scratch. ‘Poppy, only you could suggest a Chihuahua puppy as a guard dog for me.’
I have an image of the puppy defending me against a scary burglar and get an attack of the giggles.
Poppy catches the giggles from me like they’re infectious and struggles to keep a straight face to do the rest of her pitch.
‘Seriously, Chihuahuas make great watchdogs, they’re alert to any noise or intruders and the racket they make is a deterrent to burglars.’ She nods solemnly but the corners of her mouth twitch. ‘Think how much fuss Peanut and Treacle make when the postman comes. Anyway I think this puppy is a mixed-breed puppy, not pure chihuahua. Maybe that’s why he was abandoned. I reckon he’s either a Golden Chihuatriever or a Labrahuahua.’
‘A what now?’
‘A cross between a Chihuahua and a Golden Retriever or a cross between a Chihuahua and a Labrador.’
‘Seriously?’ I narrow my eyes at her.
‘Really, I’m not winding you up.’ Poppy laughs. ‘They are real breeds, go ahead and google them if you don’t believe me.’
‘Hmm.’ I suspect she’s messing with me. She does sometimes and she always manages to get me because it’s so unexpected. I get out my phone to look them up. ‘What do you know, you’re right. How is that even possible?’
We both snort with laughter.
‘Artificial insemination maybe?’ Poppy suggests once she’s stopped giggling. ‘However it’s done the results are really cute.’
I have to agree that the Chihuatriever puppies closely resemble the rescue pup Poppy wants me to adopt. My reluctance is for show, a kind of token protest at being manipulated, but she had me as soon as she showed me his photo and we both know it.
‘They are, and okay, you’ve persuaded me. If you’re sure we’ve both got a home here I’d love to adopt him.’
‘Of course.’ Poppy gets out of her chair and throws her arms around me, hugging me hard. Peanut somehow manages to jump onto my lap and wriggle up in between us, planting tiny Chihuahua licks on both our faces. If there’s a cuddle going on she has to be in the middle of it. Her tiny size makes it easy to use the smallest of gaps to insinuate herself into any hug.
I manage to extract myself before all the rest of the dogs mob us.
‘So, who do I contact then? What do we do next?’
In spite of my reservations I feel … happy at the thought of getting the puppy. It shocks me because I haven’t felt happy for so long, I’ve just been stuck in survival mode. Something stirs inside me, something soft and loving.
I’ve been suppressing a lot of my personality and desires since I ran away. It was the only way I could find to shrink down and hide, to make sure I didn’t attract any attention. Here, at home with Poppy, I’ve been able to be myself a bit but even then it’s like I’ve used a dimmer switch on myself and turned down my brightness as well as pressing my mute button.
I’ve only been a shadow, a mere ghost of myself. Annabel wouldn’t recognise me. The thought makes me uncomfortable but I’m not sure why. I’m still not ready to attract attention or connect properly with the outside world. But a puppy … I can manage to love a puppy and the thought makes me happy.
I take a side look at Poppy. Did she engineer this? She’s made it like I’m helping her out and helping the puppy out so why do I get the feeling she’s actually trying to help me, in one of her roundabout creative ways? The smile on her face is certainly satisfied. Whether she meant to or not makes no difference to the outcome.
I’m taking a first step and it’s furry.
The next afternoon I’m finishing the laundry and thinking about having an early night, bingeing on a Netflix box set on my iPad, given I’ve got an evening off. I don’t need to prepare any meals as the only guests staying tonight are a couple of German hikers who are meeting up with friends in Mirepoix.
‘You have to come with us, JoJo.’ Poppy’s voice behind me startles me so much I almost bang my head on the cupboard above the washing machine.
‘Come where?’ I ask suspiciously. I know she badly wants me to get on with Cal. I’m sure she still harbours the ridiculous notion that he likes me. Okay, so he’s been polite and friendly, with none of the coolness I saw in him that first night. I’d even go so far as to say he’s physically attracted to me but that doesn’t mean he has any respect for me. I can’t forget what he said about me to Leo and I don’t want to tell Poppy because she’ll be upset for me and it will make everything awkward. I know Leo hasn’t told her because she’s fiercely loyal and isn’t one to hide her feelings.
It’s fine. I’m dealing with it.
‘Carcassonne. There’s a medieval fête on today. It goes on into the evening.’ Poppy takes half of the wet towels out of my hands and we walk together to the washing line to peg them out. ‘We thought we’d get a meal out, maybe even go to the Hotel de la Cité for cocktails afterwards. What do you think?’
She knows my weaknesses. I’ve always wanted to go to the Cité when there’s an enactment on. I have a bizarre desire to see knights on horses and … oh well, okay, maybe it’s just the knights I’m really interested in. I might not be a history buff like Poppy but that doesn’t mean I’m immune to the magic of Carcassonne. The Cité is such an otherworldly place – just stepping onto the drawbridge and entering the walled city beyond its battlements feels like walking into another time.
I think the whole knight thing is in my genes. One of Mum’s favourite films is Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and she had a thing for Kevin Costner when she was younger. As a result, I saw the film more times than I can remember when I was growing up. Ever since I told her that parts of the film were shot here at the old Cité in Carcassonne she’s been saying she must come and visit. I assume she means to see me as well as the walled city … I’m not entirely sure what the bigger draw is. It’s not like we’ve been getting on brilliantly since everything blew up last year.
Maybe that’s why it’s even more important than ever for me to get some photos of knights on horseback set against the backdrop of the Cité battlements. She’d love to see them, and it would give us something … neutral to talk about.
‘By “we” you mean …?’
‘Well, the two of us and Leo and Cal, of course,’ Poppy says, handing me the peg bag. ‘And the little dogs, of course. We can carry them if it’s really busy or if they get funny about the horses. You can carry Pickwick if you like.’
At least she doesn’t press me about why I’ve been avoiding Cal or go on about him being perfect for me with ‘his love of cooking and all’. Maybe she has given up on matchmaking and this is just one of her usual attempts to get me to venture out into the real world. It is very underhanded of her to use Pickwick as a lure to get me come along.
‘It’s fine, I want to go. You can stop doing the hard sell.’ I smile to show I’m grateful to her for including me in the plans. ‘I’ll get some photos for Mum, she’ll love that.’
‘Ah, the Kevin Costner thing.’ Poppy’s face relaxes into a smile.
It’ll be fun. It will be fun. I repeat the thought like a mantra in my head. And I’ll just have to dress up in armour myself, but of the psychological kind, designed to repel charm and raw sex appeal – both of which Cal possesses in abundant quantities.
Chapter 4
‘They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself’
Andy Warhol
From [email protected]
To [email protected]
Subject: Coming to see you
Okay JoJo, as you won’t reply to my emails and you’ve blocked both me and Aiden on your phone (which is just rude of you and totally unnecessary) I guess we’ll just have to come and see you in person.
From [email protected]
To [email protected]
Subject: Coming to see you
Hey big sister, y
ou sounded really down in your last email. You are okay, aren’t you? I’m really worried about you … What’s all this about things changing at the guesthouse and a new chef arriving??? I’m confused, I thought you did all the cooking for the guests? You always sounded so settled there, I hoped it was going to be the new start you needed. I can’t believe they want to push you out. From what you’ve said in your emails it doesn’t sound very likely. I’m not surprised you’re feeling a bit insecure but I’m sure the wedding isn’t really going to change everything. Have you tried talking to Poppy and her fiancé about it?
You know I’m sure I could get someone to cover at the café and make it out for a short visit. I’d really love to see you, I miss you!
The flights look a bit pricey during the school holidays and I was going to surprise you in September but if you need me before then don’t worry about the cost, Dad said he could lend me some money.
Let me know soon so I can start making arrangements.
Oh, I almost forgot, what’s all this about you planning to get a puppy? Have you got any photos of him yet?
Hugs,
Annabel
xx
As always, the first sight of the mediaeval Cité of Carcassonne on the Languedoc skyline takes my breath away. It’s a fairytale castle crossed with a fortified, walled city with cobbled streets and an actual drawbridge. It can’t fail to impress a twenty-first-century tourist so I can’t imagine how awe-inspiring it must have looked to the mediaeval traveller.
We walk up to the drawbridge and cross into the walled city. As soon as they step onto the unfamiliar cobbled surface Peanut and Treacle get cold paws and refuse to walk even though they’ve been here before. Poppy scoops up Treacle and Peanut nestles comfortably on Cal’s shoulder like the tiny monkey/parrot dog she is, snuggling into his neck with a satisfied smile on her face. She is such a little tart, that dog, incredibly sweet but always after any fuss going and keen to win over any new visitors.
Jojo's French Escape Page 6