“I need you too,” he muttered. “That’s what you don’t see. How much I fucking need you.”
“You d-don’t need anyone.” It was absurd. This big, strong alpha male needing her? Her physical limitations aside, she was messed up on the inside. So much so, she didn’t see how she could ever be put back together.
“I do, Eden. And if you just let me, baby, I can help you.”
“I can’t!” She shook her head with another sob. Fuck, what was wrong with her? Everything hurt. It hurt so damn much. Wave after wave of emotion crashed through her.
No. No.
He was clawing at her walls, tearing them down. Damn him.
“You can’t. N-no one can. Damn it, Z-zeke. Why wouldn’t y-you leave me alone?”
Her teeth were chattering. So cold. She was so cold not even his warmth was penetrating the icy layers.
“Because you’re it for me, baby girl. I messed it up for ages. I get that you feel the need to protect yourself, but I’m not here to hurt you.”
“You d-don’t understand.” She wasn’t worried about her. She rubbed at her chest. She couldn’t seem to take a deep breath.
“Easy, princess. You’re panicking. Sh, I’d never hurt you. You have to know that, Eden. I’d never do anything to harm you.” He gently tilted her chin and she stared up at him. His face was slightly blurred and she realized she was crying. Fuck. Shit. She wiped at her eyes.
“I never cry.”
“Why is that?” He brushed back her hair.
She shrugged even though she knew the answer. Crying meant letting go and if that happened then she never knew when she would stop.
“Eden, I can look after you. I will take care of you. But you have to let me in.”
“It’s not that easy!” She was starting to grow mad. Did he think it was as simple as her saying yes to him?
“I get it. But you only have to do it in small steps. Tell me what’s got you so upset.”
“Like you go around telling people about your deep, dark personal shit!” At least now that she was mad, she could breathe a little easier.
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” She stared up at him in shock. He grimaced slightly. “That’s not classified.”
She didn’t want to know anything like that. She wanted to know what made him the man he was today. She wanted to know what made him care about her, of all people.
“You should forget about me. Find someone else.”
“Not happening.” He stared down at her firmly.
“I’m not good for you, Zeke. I’m not good for anyone.” The emotions were rolling back as her temper faded. That buffer was gone. She let out another sob. “Fuck. I’m losing it.”
“Then lose it, baby. I’ll hold you. I’ll help you.”
“You can’t!”
“I can,” he said fiercely. “You can lean on me, Eden. I’m not going anywhere.”
She let out a laugh, but it wasn’t filled with humor. Then she buried her face in his shirt and for the first time since her parents died and her life went to shit, she cried. She cried until there was nothing left. Until there was a void inside her. Empty.
Fuck. Fuck.
Had he pushed her too far? He’d seen some cracks in her armor and he’d forced them open. For what? Had he gotten any further ahead with her? Or had he just gotten impatient and pushed when he should have gone slowly?
Damned if he knew.
All he knew was that she was almost comatose. Her eyes were open, but they were unseeing. He knew she had to be exhausted. He stared down into her pale face, the shadows under her eyes.
This wasn’t Eden. She was so strong. Always fighting. Whether it was against him, her brothers, or herself. She didn’t just give up. But right now, it felt like she was doing just that.
Or maybe...maybe this was a turning point? A chance to reset?
God, he wished he was good at this emotional stuff. He was a man of action. He didn’t understand exactly what was going on with her. He had bits and pieces but not enough to figure out where to go from here.
But right now, he needed to get her out of this state of nothingness. But how?
He took a breath, let it out slowly and went with what his gut said to do.
She was limp in his arms, almost lifeless. He just hoped she’d respond to this.
“I think Daddy’s baby girl is all tired, isn’t she? Poor princess. Don’t worry, Daddy is going to take care of his girl. How about a bubble bath, would you like that, little one?”
He stood up from the couch and made his way down to a room at the end of the passage. The cabin was a little musty and could use some airing, but overall it wasn’t too bad. He walked inside and switched on the light. Eden whimpered.
He kissed her forehead, barely feeling her weight in his arms. Had she lost weight since last time he’d carried her? He suspected she had. Her cheekbones were sharper, her skin paler.
She wasn’t taking care of herself.
Well, that was all about to change. Because that was going to be his job. A plan came to him. He could use this situation to his advantage. Maybe it didn’t make him a good person, but he wasn’t above using whatever methods he needed to in order to get what he wanted.
He walked into the nursery. His friend, Hayes, had tastes that meshed with his own. Hayes had lost his wife over a year ago and no longer used this cabin because the memories were too much for him to handle. Zeke was surprised he hadn’t sold it. Maybe he couldn’t bring himself to do it considering how much time he’d spent with his wife here.
This room was definitely fit for a princess. A bed took up one corner. It had a white bedspread with fairies on it and a white lacy canopy above it. The headboard was wrought-iron that had been spray-painted white. A large, round pink rug was in the center of the room. Next to the bed was a door. In the opposite corner was a white crib.
A white desk with a small stool in front of it was in the corner directly to his left. There were shelves next to the dresser filled with books and toys.
He glanced around the room, wondering what could help him. He didn’t feel right taking things too far without her being more with it. Frankly, he was starting to get really worried. He laid her on the bed and stepped back. She whimpered again and he took that to mean she didn’t want him to stop touching her.
“Easy, princess. Daddy is going to get you something to keep you company while I run you a bubble bath. Does that sound fun?”
She stared up at him, blinking. No expression on her face. Shit. He couldn’t strip her off when she was like this. That would be taking advantage of her. Just as he was preparing to figure something else out, she gave him a small nod.
“Okay, Daddy.”
Relief flooded through him. Shit.
“That’s Daddy’s good girl.” He gave her a gentle look. Then he turned to the chest at the end of the bed and opened it, searching through the blankets stored there.
He pulled out the weighted blanket. It didn’t look like she’d been sleeping much and this might help. It was nice and soft yet with enough weight to make her feel more secure.
He placed it over her on the bed.
“What’s this?” She pulled the blanket off her with a frown.
“It’s a weighted blanket. You’ll leave it on you while I get everything ready,” he told her sternly.
“I don’t likes it,” she said in a childish voice.
Normally, her sulky pout might get her a stern word or smack to her bottom, but he was too happy that her Little was making an appearance to tell her off.
“I think you will if you give it a chance.” He stared down at her until she sighed.
“Fine. I’ll tries it, Daddy. But I don’t likes pink.” She glared at the blanket as though it’s color mortally offended her.
“Noted.” He moved over to the toy box. “What would you rather cuddle? There’s a bunny or a cat or teddy or dinosaur?”
“Whose toys are they?” she asked suspici
ously.
“They belonged to my friend’s wife, she kept them here for everyone to use. They often brought friends here to play.”
“Where is she now?”
He gave her a sad look. “She died, baby. But I know she would like you playing with them.” He wished he could give her something of her own.
She stared at the stuffed toys, biting her lip.
He searched around for something else that might set her at ease. Suddenly, he remembered a photo he’d spotted hanging on the wall in the hall outside her bedroom. It had been of her parents, Clint, Kent and a tiny Eden. In it, she’d looked about six or seven and she’d been holding a rag doll.
He searched around in the basket of dolls until he found one. “What about this?” He held the rag doll up. It looked a little worse for wear, as though it had been well loved.
She gave the doll a wary look.
“I’ll just set it beside you. Why don’t you give it the hug test?”
“Hug test?” she asked.
“Make sure it’s nice and snuggly.”
“Snuggly?” She was looking at him as though he was an alien. He couldn’t blame her.
He set it on the bed. She didn’t reach for it. “I’ll go run you a bath. Be right back.”
She nodded, looking so small and alone on the bed.
He filled the bath, putting in plenty of bubbles. When he returned to get Eden, her eyes were half closed and she was rubbing the foot of the doll against her nose. A gesture to comfort herself. She froze when she saw him.
“It’s all right. I’m glad you like the dolly.”
She shrugged. “She’s okay.”
“Are you going to give her a name?”
She bit her lip. “No.”
“All right then.” He tucked her dark hair behind her ear. “Baby girl, Daddy is going to get you ready for your bath now, okay?”
A hint of worry filled her face, and for a moment he thought that she was going to refuse, clam up on him again. But then she just nodded. It seemed that her crying spell had shifted something inside her. Maybe she was just too exhausted to hold her Little back. But he needed to give them both this. He had to take care of her. It was burning in his gut. Something he couldn’t deny.
He dragged off the blanket and slowly started undressing her. He was careful to keep his touch from lingering, his gaze from spending too much time on her breasts or pussy. This wasn’t about sex.
Despite his hard on.
He lifted her into his arms, noting that she left the doll behind. The bath was nearly filled. He set her down on the toilet.
“Need to go potty, baby girl?”
She blushed and nodded. He turned the taps off and tested the temperature of the bath. “Perfect.”
He turned back, noting that she hadn’t used the toilet yet. She was bright, bright red.
“I’ll wait in the bedroom, princess. Let me know when you’re finished.” He understood. It was too early for anything like that. He had to remind himself that not that long ago, she couldn’t even acknowledge her Little. Now, she was letting him strip her off, see her naked, bathe her. . .
He heard the toilet flush.
“I’m done,” she called out hesitantly.
He walked in to find her unable to meet his gaze. Her arms were crossed over her body as though to protect herself from his gaze.
Well, that wouldn’t do.
He walked over and crouched down in front of her. “You don’t have to hide from me, princess. Like I said the other night, as your daddy, there is nothing I don’t want to know about you or do for you.”
“It’s not always easy to let go of. . .of. . .”
“I know.” He got it. He did. There were years of conditioning about what she should be ashamed of, what she should hide. But Littles shouldn’t hide anything from their daddies. “Would it help if I stripped off?”
Her eyes widened then she shook her head. “No!”
“Shame.” His lips twitched.
She stared at him suspiciously. “Are you laughing at me?”
“Of course not.”
“Hmm. I think you’re laughing on the inside.”
She yawned and he knew he needed to get her over this. “Come on, princess. You’ll be able to relax more in the bath. We’ll get you nice and clean and then you can go to bed.”
“No point in going to bed, I won’t sleep.”
He set her down in the bath water. “Why not?”
She shrugged. “I hardly ever sleep. I usually just get a few hours. It’s been that way since. . .well, for ages.”
That wasn’t good. She needed plenty of rest. He’d have to do something to remedy that.
She reached up to hold her hair up. “Is there a hair tie anywhere?”
He opened drawers until he found a small container with hair ties. He knew Hayes would be prepared. He gently brushed her hands away and tied her hair up in a messy knot. Then he helped her lie back so the bubbles hid most of her from his view.
“Would you like some toys to play with, baby girl?”
“I. . .I don’t know.” She looked adorable as she bit her lip in consternation.
“There’s no right or wrong answer, princess.”
“Then yes. . .maybe?”
He reached under the counter and pulled out the basket filled with toys. He grabbed the squishy, vinyl book first. “Why don’t you read a story?”
She pursed her lips. “Think that’s your job, Daddy.”
“Well, Daddy has his hands full with other things.” He winked at her and she lowered her gaze to the book. He started washing her body. God, her skin was smooth. Her limbs were long and lean. A little too lean, maybe. She needed to eat a bit more and build up some muscle.
He washed both arms then moved to her chest as she started to read. Or pretended to read.
“What do you do with a blue whale, Daddy?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” He was trying to stop himself from lingering on her breasts, from toying with her nipples, and it was killing him. But he wanted her Eden to fully relax around him.
“You try to cheer them up.” She cracked up in into laughter that actually had the corners of his lips turning up. Not because of the joke. It was terrible. But the sound of her laughter did something to him.
He was generally a serious person. But so was she. Oh, she smiled plenty, but she didn’t laugh. Certainly not like this.
Right now, she sounded like she had no cares, when she usually went around with the weight of the world on her shoulders. He liked that he could do that for her. He ran the cloth down her stomach and over her hips. She stiffened and he backed off slightly.
“Good one, baby girl,” he told her warmly. He moved to her legs.
She cleared her throat and moved back to the book as he ran the cloth up her legs.
“What time is it when a whale jumps into your boat?”
He shook his head. “What sort of book is that?” He peered down at the pages. There were just pictures, no words. “These are jokes you know of by heart?” That surprised him.
“Yep. So?”
“I don’t know. Five o’clock.”
“Jeez, Daddy, you could at least try!” she scolded him. “It’s time to get another boat, of course!” She cracked up again, snorting with laughter. She slammed her hand down as she laughed, sending sprays of water in his direction.
Zeke just stared down at her, his hair dripping, his shirt wet. “Um, little one? You want to apologize for splashing me?”
As she took a good look at him, her laughter increased. “Whoops!”
“Whoops? Whoops! Is that all you have to say! You little brat,” he said with mock-sternness. “Daddy ought to spank your bottom for this.”
She was giggling too hard to pay much attention to him. He grabbed a towel and dried himself off.
“Sorry I got you all wet, Daddy.” The look she gave him belied her apology. But he didn’t care. He hadn’t truly been mad.
He leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. “Lucky you’re so cute.”
Her breath caught but he drew back to continue washing her legs. Then he pressed his hand between her thighs to wash her pussy. She froze, but he didn’t linger.
Build her trust. Build her trust.
Because he needed to make his intentions clear. He needed her to trust that he was sticking around no matter what.
Fuck, he was so hard it was painful. His balls were tight. He wanted nothing more than to circle her clit, to drive his finger inside her, to make her come again in his arms.
“Right, little one. Time for bed.”
He stood then leaned over and picked her up in his arms. He held her against his body, supporting her weight as he grabbed a towel then wrapped it around her. He was fully soaked by now. Hmm, maybe taking all his clothes off before he bathed her wasn’t such a stupid idea.
He sat her on the counter and dried her off before placing the towel in the hamper. Then he picked her up once more and carried her into the bedroom.
He laid her on the bed and placed the weighted blanket over her. He noted that she immediately grabbed hold of the doll.
“Got any more of those jokes?” he asked as he strode over to the walk-in closet.
“Sure. What do whales need to stay healthy?”
“Food?” he asked as he searched for a nightgown. He finally picked out a white one with sunflowers on it and frills around the bottom. It was simple but feminine.
“No, Daddy. Vitamin Sea.” She cracked up again and he had to shake his head at her silliness. He’d never thought that Eden could be like this. But then again, he hadn’t had much to do with her Little before, either.
“Where did you get all these jokes from?” he asked as he moved back to her. He slid the blanket off.
She was gorgeous.
Her face grew serious. “Keira used to tell me jokes in the hospital to cheer me up.”
Ah. He knew they must have built a close bond. Two little girls stuck in the hospital together. One, whose father abused her. The other who’d just lost her parents and had her whole world tipped upside down.
He slid the nightgown over her head, helping her get her arms through the sleeves. He loved helping her like this. Something settled inside him. Something that felt right. As though he’d been waiting all his life for this moment.
Daring Daddy (Montana Daddies Book 5) Page 10