by Dani Lovell
I giggle. “Two.”
“Okay, where did you do the first time? Kitchen counter?”
“Good God, no! How unhygienic.”
She nods and raises her eyebrows, guiltily. “Shan’t tell you about your kitchen in Aspen then,” she says quickly before she goes on. “Bathroom?”
“Er… what about my kitchen in Aspen? Please tell me you and Luke didn’t christen my kitchen?”
“Bathroom?” she repeats, and I can see I’m not going to get an answer so I decide I’m better off not knowing.
“Um, no. Really, we don’t need to talk about that…”
“What? Now you have me intrigued, so we definitely do. Lounge?” she asks, sitting forwards in her chair, shovelling some more cheese onto her bread.
“No,” I giggle, rolling my eyes in embarrassment. “Honestly, you won’t guess, so lets just leave that bit out, okay?”
“No way! This is getting juicy! On your desk in your study?”
“No.”
“Oh my God, you did it in the hallway – oh my God, you did it in public!”
“No… no. Not the hallway.”
“But in public?” she asks, mesmerised.
“Not exactly, honestly Tilly, let’s not.”
“Er, let’s!” she says, excitedly. “Oh my God.” She nods, wide eyed. “I know!”
“You don’t, you really don’t.”
“Yep – yes I do! You fucked in the gym, didn’t you! You dirty, dirty minx!”
“What? How do you fucking know this stuff?” I cry, slapping my hand across my mouth. “Oh God, I’m sorry…”
“Oh be quiet, she’s nine months, she doesn’t understand. Now tell me everything. Did anyone walk in?”
“No, how do you know it was the gym?”
“I just guessed, and I kinda ran out of options – plus, I know how much you love that gym, and I bet any money he asked to see it, didn’t he?”
I pause for a minute. “Seriously, Tilly – have you bugged my house?”
She rolls back in her chair, clapping her hands and screaming with laughter, so excitable. “Calm down, calm down. There are no bugs in your house… it’s too clean!” she jokes. “No, honestly - I’m just good. I’ve had a lot of experience with boys.” She stands and walks to the unit by the door, taking two wine glasses from the cupboard. “I really need to know the rest now, though.” She sits back down and opens the little bottles of red wine, filling our glasses.
“How did it start?”
I blush a little and take a sip of wine before I sit back and begin. “Well, we stayed at ‘Gorge’ for a while after you left, and then decided to move on. It seemed more appropriate to go somewhere quiet, as we were talking – so I suggested my place.”
“Uh huh…” she says with a cheeky smirk. “Go on.”
“When we arrived, he asked to see the apartment, he’s looking for a new place, and so one thing led to another and we ended up looking at the gym.”
“Interesting… mmm hmm…”
I smile at her concentration. “So then he told me about a clip he’d seen online about a couple working out together; the gym equipment obviously reminded him…”
“Yeah, or your tight body, and so?”
“And so he showed me it. Tilly, it was fascinating, watching this guy move with his wife, I loved it.”
“Ha! So he actually managed to persuade you to give it a go?” she cries in disbelief.
“You’re a witch, right?”
“No, I could tell it was coming. He’s such a guy.”
“What are you saying? I’ve been played? It really wasn’t like that, Til, we were both fascinated and really wanted to give it a go.”
“Yeah, of course.” She says in a sarcastic tone. “So what, you stripped down to your underwear?”
“No! We kept our clothes on.”
“You were wearing a pencil skirt, Lex.”
“Well, yeah – I had to hoist it up a little. Anyway, it worked amazingly, I still can’t believe we managed to pull that move off.”
“So long as you don’t get overly interested and try it during a training session with my Luke, it’s all good.”
“Of course, I would never even broach the subject with Luke!” I cry, adamantly.
“I know – see? You were totally telling him - game on.”
“No…”
“Yes. You wouldn’t try it with Luke because it feels like a sexual thing. Yet you wanted to try it with Sebastian…”
She does have a point, and I pause for a moment, taking that in. So I did want to sleep with him before it came down to it… “Anyway, so we finished the manoeuvre and were both clearly delighted about it, so we shared a hug.”
“And the hug led to a kiss…”
I nod.
“And the kiss led to knickers being ripped off, zip getting lowered and knobbing your way across the gym equipment?”
“Well not exactly, but yes – basically.”
She shakes her head and grins. “You are naughty.”
I laugh, loudly. “That’s rich!”
“Well yes, I know – Luke and I have had sex pretty much everywhere there is – but you; you’re a good girl – you’re elegant, sophisticated, play-by-the-rules Alexia! I knew there was a dark side to you. I love it!”
I laugh, shyly. “Can we keep this private though, Tilly?”
“What do you take me for? Of course it’s private! I’m good at keeping secrets, remember?” she says, pointing to Emily, cheekily.
“I have no idea how you managed to keep pregnancy a secret, I really don’t.”
“Exactly, so you can trust me on this, I won’t tell a soul.”
“I appreciate that, thank you.”
“Lex, you need to learn that you can talk to your friends. We are here to share things with you, it’s good to talk and let things out that you wouldn’t ordinarily discuss. Please trust that we would never do anything to jeopardise our friendship with you. I mean, look at me… I tell you girls anything and everything, and I know I’m safe. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to bottle everything up all the time.”
“It’s very new to me, Tilly, but I do thoroughly appreciate that I can do that. It does feel good to talk sometimes, especially if I’m unsure about something.”
“It’s good to hear you say that – when I first met you, I thought you were the most ‘together’ person I had ever met who was absolutely, one hundred per cent certain of every move she made, no hesitations, no second guessing – almost like a finely tuned robot! That’s fantastic in the business world, but I thought we’d have nothing in common at all! And of course I thought you were after Luke… but that was all until I got to know you a little better. I’m so glad that you have learnt to release a little, with us. You are actually human, after all! And definitely not after my Luke!”
I giggle. “Definitely not! But it’s just who I am.”
“I know, and we love you – but I love you just that little bit more, knowing you can open up now and again.”
I smile, grateful for her honesty. “Thank you.”
“Anytime – and you know it. Anyway – back to penis perching… so how is he?”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THURSDAY 2ND APRIL
“We can go over and over this, Richard, but that file should have been completed way before now, I gave you a deadline of Monday last week. How much longer do you need with this? It must almost be ready, surely? I have delayed this meeting with Timpson twice already.” I know I’m probably being harder on the guy than I need to, but he’s pissing me off. Incompetence and laziness is unacceptable in my department.
“Erm… I could try and have it done by Monday?”
“Monday?” I cry. “That’s two weeks overdue!”
“I know, Alexia, but I’ve had a huge workload, Sarah has been off, it’s not as simple as saying ‘it should be done’.”
“Richard, Sarah being off has nothing to do with you – her entire workload
has been taken over by the temp, or do you think I know nothing about my department, whatsoever?”
“No, but I…”
“I think one of the real issues here is your tardiness. Don’t think that I’m not aware that you were fifteen minutes late this morning, ten minutes late back from lunch… a whopping forty minutes late Tuesday morning, twelve minutes late Monday… need I go on?”
“I can expl…”
“Your online log also indicates that you have spent an average of at least five hours of your working week, over the last two months, fixated on dating websites. Now, you may wish to find yourself another girlfriend – but maybe you could do that on your current girlfriend’s clock – not ours. I’m certain the amount I know about you has surprised you; maybe you should take a leaf out of a professional’s book and know what the hell is going on around you. You’ve got until lunchtime tomorrow to get that file to me, or you’ll find yourself juggling girl searches, with job ones. No excuses; get it done.”
He nods sheepishly as he stands. “Yes, Alexia. I’ll do my best.”
“No, you’ll do the job, Richard.”
“Yes.”
He leaves my office, red-faced and sweaty, and I sit back in my chair, closing my eyes briefly. I don’t need this shit right now.
Work is hectic at the moment, which I love, but when some dipshit can’t do his job properly, it fucks it up for everybody else. My team is working like crazy, doing a fantastic job – but there are a couple that just don’t cut it. If Richard manages to get his ass in gear, I’ll be utterly shocked. I had high hopes for the guy when I hired him, but you always get one who takes advantage of working for a company with great employee benefits, and he’s it.
I feel like I haven’t spoken to Bea or Tilly in forever, but in reality, it’s only been about two weeks since that trip to the wedding store and my lunch with Tilly. I’ll arrange dinner with them one night next week; maybe Daniel and Luke will come, too.
Daniel and I have managed to squeeze in a few in-office lunches, it’s always a little easier for us to catch up, working so closely.
I haven’t heard anything from Sebastian since he so abruptly left my apartment that morning. I am slightly surprised, a little offended maybe, embarrassed – very much so.
I feel used, but I also feel disappointed because I so wanted to hear from him, and I admit that, begrudgingly. I had warmed to him a great deal and I began to really enjoy his company, not to mention the bedroom action.
I’ve been so ready to repeat that night… maybe not in the gym, but the sexual excitement and satisfaction, most definitely.
I have tried to shut it out as best I can – Alexia style, but every now and again when I sit back in my chair to take a breather, or in the gym when I’m practising my monkey bars alone, I wonder what is going through his head.
Wasn’t I as good as he had expected? Was he pretending to like me just to get me in the sack? Has he conquered and forgotten?
I’m pretty confident that it wasn’t my sexual performance; I think the main reason for his disappearance is purely that he’s done me, now he can move on. But opening my legs for a guy isn’t something that comes particularly easily for me.
For me, sex is a hugely intimate and private thing. Based on the number of people I meet on a daily basis; very, very few people get to witness my bedroom persona, and I like to ensure they’re worthy of it, if they do. It’s almost a gift – having them see something that I don’t let anybody else see. So when it’s taken for granted – I feel embarrassed to have offered it to them in the first place.
When you offer someone something that should be treasured – you’re careful about who it is, and you expect them to respect that you chose for them to receive it.
So Sebastian’s distance has perturbed me. I try to tell myself that he’s busy, we’re not dating – he hasn’t committed to contacting me, and it has only been two weeks – but surely you should contact a girl after you’ve enjoyed her body so personally? It’s manners, if nothing else.
I sit forward in my chair and rub my lower back with my fingertips, I could really use a massage about now, but I’ll wait a couple of weeks until work eases up. I stand and walk to my refrigerator to get a bottle of water, and decide to take the time during this break to contact Bea and Tilly to arrange something non-work related.
~
Today 4:44
Hey, ladies, I hope you’re both well. Bea – Daniel says you’re making great headway with the wedding plans! Can’t wait to hear about it from you. I’m snowed under at work and wanted to arrange something fun one evening next week – maybe with Daniel and Luke, too? Dinner somewhere would be great. Tilly, what are you guys doing for your anniversary, Monday? Check your schedules and let me know when is best for you. Looking forward to seeing you. Lex xx
~
I take another sip of my water and look over my desk. Time to start over again. Just as I pick up the file I choose to start with, my phone pings. I hadn’t expected a response so quickly! Someone is on the ball! Or bored… one or the other.
My stomach turns upside down as soon as I see the word ‘LOVE’.
~
LOVE, SEBASTIAN
iMessage
Today 4:48
Sexy Lexie! How are you doing? Sorry I haven’t been in touch – work has been crazy! How are you fixed for tonight? I’d love to cook you dinner at my place. What do you say? S xxx
~
My heart races wildly in my chest, what the hell do I say to that? If I respond ‘yes’, do I seem too keen? I’d really like to go to dinner tonight, take my mind off work for a while… but maybe I should stay late and work so I get a head start on tomorrow.
I tell myself to calm down, re-reading his message. It’s like these past two weeks haven’t happened, it’s as if he has no idea that I’ve been sitting here wondering why the hell he isn’t interested in me.
So maybe he is interested in me after all… maybe I was right in thinking he has just been busy and it’s not crazy behaviour to maintain a distance after a sexual encounter.
Do I reply immediately? Do I go? What message does that emit? Maybe I should accept my uncertainty as a weakness and call Tilly to see what she thinks… she knows about guys, she knows about this situation because she’s the only person I opened up to about it. Yes, call Tilly, Lex – she’ll know what to do. And for fucks sake – stop acting like such a teenager. Pull yourself together.
Nodding, I pick up the handset and dial Tilly.
“Lex, hi!” She answers, her British accent still going strong, I always think it’s such a shame when people lose their accents after a move.
“Hey, how are you?”
“I’m great, thanks, what’s up?”
“Okay… I don’t usually do this, but I feel like I need advice.”
“Advice? You are asking me for advice?”
“Yeah – you’re the only person I’ve told about the whole ‘Sebastian’ situation.”
“Oh…” she says, and I can hear the grin. “Go on, how can I help?”
“Well, I haven’t heard from him since…”
“What? Nothing?”
“No.”
“Hmm, okay…”
“Until now.”
“Ooh… did he call?”
“No, he sent a message asking me over to his place for dinner tonight. I don’t know what to do.”
“Okay… well, does he have a gym with monkey bars?”
I laugh. “I have no idea, Tilly. But I’m serious! What do you think I should do?”
“Okay, okay. Do you want to go?”
“Um… yes.”
“So go…” I can hear the confusion in her voice. It’s black and white for her, clear as crystal.
“You don’t think I should play hard to get considering I didn’t hear from him for two weeks?”
“Hmm. Well, I’m not really one for ‘playing’ that way. I tend to get what I want, much like you. I think you should
go if you want to, but be weary. See how he is after this date, maybe he’s just been busy and you should give him a chance. If he’s just being a douche, you’ll pick up on that and can learn not to give him any more chances in future.”
I pause for a moment, wondering how I didn’t come up with this myself. It seems an obvious solution. “Yes… that does sound good. Why did I need to be told this?”
“Because when you’re in the situation, it’s never as clear as when you’re an onlooker. There’s every chance he is playing you, of course, and playing hard to get would give him a taste of his own medicine – but is that the kind of thing you’re looking for? Games? I’d say – go in the way you’d want to continue. If he’s playing games, as I said – you’ll know. If not – you’ve done the right thing by not starting any yourself.”
“You know what you’re talking about, Tilly. I can’t say I’ve ever needed this type of advice before, but now that I have found myself in a situation where I do – I’m so glad I have you!”
“Of course! I bet he’s a great cook, too.”
“I would imagine he is, but who knows. Right, I guess I’ll reply now.”
“Go girl! Oh and I got your text message – I’ll speak to Lukey. Not sure what we’re doing for the anniversary but it would be good if we could all get together, so pencil in Monday if you’re free.”
“Ok, I will do.”
“Right, get back to work and enjoy tonight. Oh, and Lex…”
“Uh huh?”
“Get fucked.”
I laugh heartily with her and say my goodbyes before returning to my cell and re-reading his text for the umpteenth time.
~
Today 4:59
Hi, Sebastian, it’s good to hear from you. I’m good, thank you. Work is also manic for me right now, so a break to catch up and have dinner with you sounds great. Let me have the details and I’ll make my way to you at around 8ish?”