by Glen Cook
“So how does he do it? Does he turn invisible? Does he run through secret tunnels to sneak up and sneak away?”
/have to reserve the how for now, Garrett. The hypothesis is insufficiently tested, based as it is on one assumption not yet validated. A bit more observation should confirm it, though, and you will be the first to know.
“No doubt.” He would crow like a herd of roosters watching three suns rising. If he was not already. “Why don’t you —”
“Mr. Garrett?” Dean had his head in the doorway. “Excuse me. There’s a young woman here to see you.”
His nose was up and his choice of the word “woman” over “lady” told me he thought her a floozy and probably some playmate of mine not nearly as worthy of me as any one of a dozen of his nieces.
“Who is she?”
“She wouldn’t say. She seemed perfectly familiar with you, though.” Again with the nose up.
I excused myself and headed for the door expecting Amiranda. They just can’t stay away from you, Garrett. It was Amber. She gave me her big teasing smile as I let her in. Dean had instructions to let no one in without consulting me or the Dead Man first. I scanned the street as Amber brushed past. I didn’t see Courter Slauce but assumed he was out there watching.
Amber did some posing, showing off her best features, of which she had several. “Aren’t you dressed for the kill today? What’s the occasion?” I gave the street another scan. Nothing. But women from the Hill don’t wander my end of town unchaperoned. Not unless they’re so severely unaware of personal danger that the bad guys shy off as if they were holy madmen.
“A hunt. Of sorts.” She did have a promising smile.
“I see. How old are you, Amber?”
“Twenty.” She lied. My immediate guess was eighteen going on thirty.
“Uhn. This way.” I stalled for time while I led her to my office. There is a side of me that is very fond of women. There is also a side that’s wary of those who bring gifts without being asked. When they stand near a center of power and are as changeable and spoiled as this one probably was, I want to play it very carefully. I thought I saw a way.
“I’m a charming scamp, I know. Hurt me to the quick though it does, I’m old enough, plain enough, and poor enough to suspect that maybe my profession has more to do with you being here.”
“Maybe.” She went on trying to flirt. I had a bad feeling she might be one of those who couldn’t deal with a man until she proved to herself she could lead him around by his hopes and fantasies. That kind regards consummation as something to avoid at all costs. She was young but she knew her men well enough to know actually giving in would dilute her power. I assumed she was playing that game, so I did my best to let her think she might get what she wanted without stretching her virtue.
She did appeal. A whole damned lot. But I’ll have to know a Stormwarden’s daughter a lot better before I take the risks inherent in such a situation.
“There is one thing you could do,” she admitted. “But that can wait. Don’t you feel crowded in here? Isn’t there somewhere else? That old man could walk in anytime.”
At which point I made the mistake of sitting down. My sitter was barely in place when a hundred pounds of potential parked her sitter on my lap. So much for Garrett’s infallible estimates of members of the female species. She had me going for a minute — until she giggled. I don’t like my women to giggle. It makes me doubt their maturity. Still, when the culprit is sitting on your lap, wagging her tail...
“Mr. Garrett.” It was that old man. “Mr. Dotes is here. He says it’s important.”
Saved!
Damn it.
__XI__
“Do you have to, Garrett?” “You don’t know Morley Dotes. If he comes here, it’s important.”
I had Amber about half pried loose when Dotes blew in. He stopped and gawked, then that sparkle flashed in his eye. I’m going to throw pepper in there someday just to get tears to wash it out.
“Down, boy. What’s going on?”
Amber made a show of neatening herself up. I guess she knew she had it and couldn’t help flaunting it.
“Your pal Saucer head. He’s in the Bledsoe carved up bad enough to kill a mammoth.”
“Bound to happen in his line of work.” Which was pretty much the same as Morley’s less public line, so he gave me a sour look when he could steal a second from appreciating Amber. “How did it happen?”
“Don’t have much yet. He staggered in from somewhere way the hell out in the country. They say he shouldn’t have made it, but you know him. Too stubborn and stupid to die. They don’t think he’ll make it.”
“Who does, down there? What the hell was he doing out in the boondocks?”
Morley gave me a funny look. “I thought you’d know. He left the place early last night because he had a job. Said you recommended him.”
“Me? I never... Oh. Damn. I’d better get down there.” I had butterflies the size of horses. Amiranda. Had to be.
“I’ll stroll along with you, then. I haven’t had my exercise today.” Far be it from Morley Dotes to admit he had a friend anywhere in the known universe. As he turned to leave, Amber whispered, “Wait, Garrett.” The music was out of her voice.
“Is it critical?”
“To me it is.”
“Wait for me at the front door, Morley. So. Tell me.”
“My brother came home this morning. They let him go.”
“Good for him.”
“That means Domina paid the ransom.”
“Seems likely. So?”
“So there’s two hundred thousand gold marks out there somewhere that belong to my family, that somebody couldn’t yell about if it got taken away. Do you think you could find it?”
“Maybe. If I wanted to bad enough. A chunk like that, in the hands of amateurs, would leave a trail like a rogue mammoth. The trick would be getting to it before all the other sharpshooters in town.”
“Help me find it, Garrett. You can have half.”
“Whoa, girl. That’s asking for big trouble with no guarantee of any —”
“This may be my first, last, and only chance to make a hit big enough to get away from my mother. If I could get that money before she comes home, I could disappear so thoroughly she couldn’t find me with an army. You could do pretty good with a hundred thousand, too.”
“That I could. That I could.”
She posed. “And there are ancillary benefits, too.”
“Yes. Yes indeed. I’ll need some time to think about what I’d need and what I’d have to do. In the meantime, I’ve got a friend in the infirmary trying to die. I want to see him before he goes.”
“Sure.” She didn’t sound thrilled to hear about obligations imposed by friendship. “I’ll come back tomorrow if I can get away from Courter and his bullies. Next day for sure. Maybe you could give that old man the day off.” She turned on the smile.
“Maybe I’ll think about that too.”
She giggled. “You do that.”
I patted her fanny. “Come on. Off with you. My friend Morley will be getting impatient.” I followed her to the front door. There is nothing I can say to disparage the view from that perspective.
Dean was waiting to bolt up after me, which meant he had been eavesdropping again. I shot him an ugly glare, but it ricocheted like water off the proverbial duck.
Morley was waiting outside. While I stood listening to Dean shoot the bolts, we appreciated Amber’s departure.
“Where do you find them, Garrett?”
“I don’t. They find me.”
“Bull feathers.”
“It’s true. I just sit here like a big old trapdoor spider and nab them when they walk by. Then I turn on the Garrett charm and they swoon into my arms.”
“That one is no swooner, Garrett. The one the other night wasn’t, either. High Hill fluff, both of them. Right?”
“Off the Hill. I wouldn’t call them fluff.”
&
nbsp; “No. Probably not.” He sighed. “Why doesn’t something like that ever turn up at my place?”
“You’re doing all right from what I see. Don’t get your heart set on this one. You’d be asking for a visit from the whirlwind. Her mother is a Stormwarden.”
“Another dream shattered by bitter reality. Still, it’s a pity. A pity — that’s sweet. Let’s go see Saucer head and find out which way to lay our bets.”
__XII__
The bledsoe infirmary is an imperial charity, meaning it’s supposed to provide medical care for the indigent. If you’re in the place, though, your chances improve a hell of a lot if you or a friend happen to come up with some cash. Human nature, 1 guess. I’m not always the biggest fan of my own species. They weren’t going to let me near Saucer head at first. He was supposedly in real bad shape and would be checking out very soon. Then somebody saw the flash of gold between my fingers and heard a hint or two about metal changing hands if the prognosis improved, and first thing you knew the whole infirmary had a new attitude. Zip! Morley and I were in Saucer head’s ward watching a gang of physicians and healers do their stuff.
Saucer head looked terrible when they started, paper pale after losing what appeared to be several gallons of blood. He didn’t look much better when they finished, but his breathing was steadier, less inclined to the characteristic sighs. I scattered a few marks and showed that I had a few more that might want to keep the others company. Saucer head didn’t do anything but breathe for a couple of hours. Good enough by me. That put us a few points up on Death.
Morley spoke only once the entire time we were waiting, in a tiny whisper. “If I ever get so desperate I come in here, you come cut my throat and put me out of my misery.” The remark illuminated the side of Morley Dotes with a morbid dread of sickness. After this visit he would be on double rations, stoking up on green leafies and whatnot, for weeks.
Not that the Bledsoe was anybody’s idea of heaven. One look around was enough to curdle a vampire’s bones. And this was just a ward to die in. The insane wards are supposed to be ripped straight out of the dungeons of hell. I couldn’t figure why Saucer head had picked the Bledsoe. He was no tycoon but he wasn’t a pauper, either.
We saw only one other vertical human being after the staff left, a priest who was probably the only decent human being working the Bledsoe. I knew him vaguely. He was one of the bigger names in one of the more obscure and bizarre of the several hundred cults hag-riding TunFaire. He came over and stared down at the huge slab of muscle that was Saucer head Tharpe. There was a nobility about Tharpe even in his extremity. It recalled the nobility of the lion or the mammoth. A good guy to have on your side, a bad guy to have for an enemy, simple, trustworthy, and as tough as they make them.
“Has he had his rites?”
“I don’t know, Father.”
“What gods did he have?”
I put temptation aside. “None that I know about. But we don’t need sacraments. This is a life watch, not a deathwatch. He’s going to make it.”
The priest checked the name chalked on the wall above the head of Saucer head’s cot. “I’ll say a prayer for him.” Small smile. “It never hurts, even with a sure thing.” He went on to those who needed him more, leaving me with the suspicion I had been one-upped.
Saucer head must have been awake awhile before he let us know. His first remark, a hoarse croak, was, “Garrett, remind me to stay the hell away from your women.”
I grunted and waited.
“Getting that one out of the Cantard got me half killed. I thought this one did me all the way.”
“Yeah. What the hell did you come here for? If you had go-power enough to make it this far, you could have got yourself to somebody who could have done you some good.”
“I was born here, Garrett. I had it in my head I was done for and it seemed right it should end up where it started. I guess I wasn’t thinking too good.”
“Yeah. You big dumb goof. Well, you’re going to make it in spite of yourself and these jackals. You got enough energy to tell me what happened?”
“Yeah.” His face darkened.
“So? What happened?”
“She’s dead, Garrett! They killed her. I got five or six of them but they was too many and they got past me and cut her...” And he started by god getting up off that cot.
“Hold him down, Morley. What the hell are you doing,
Saucer head?”
“I got to go. I never blowed a job like that before, Garrett. Never.”
Morley put him back down with one hand. Saucer head was running on spirit alone.
There were tears in his eyes. “She was just a little bit of a thing, Garrett. Sweet as a sugar bun and cute as a button. They shouldn’t ought to have done that to her.”
“You’re right. They shouldn’t have.” Part of me had known the worst all along, but the part that wishes and hopes was just getting the word.
Saucer head tried getting up again. “I got to, Garrett.”
“You got to heal up. I’ll take care of the rest. I’ve got an interest that came before yours. After you give me everything you’ve got, Morley is going to get you out of here and take you wherever you want to stay. And I’m going headhunting.”
Morley gave me a look. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to.
“Don’t you start playing devil’s advocate, Morley Dotes, telling me there’s no percentage in getting involved. You’d do the same damned thing even if you dressed it up as something else. Come on, Saucer head. Give it to me. Start from the beginning, the first time you laid eyes on her.”
Saucer head may not be speedy mentally, but his mind gets where it needs to go. And he sees what goes on around him and remembers it.
“The first time I seen her was with you at Morley’s Place. I thought to myself, How come a runt like Morley Dotes or a homely geek like Garrett always comes up with all the jewels?”
“He isn’t dying,” I said. “A sick sense of humor is the first thing that comes back. Imagine. Calling me homely. Never mind that night, Saucer head. When did you see her again?”
“Yesterday afternoon. She tracked me down at my place.”
She found him there and told him that I’d recommended him for any body guarding she needed done. She had a thing she wanted to do that night but she was nervous and scared and even though she was sure there would be no trouble, she thought it wouldn’t hurt to have somebody along. Just in case. Just to make her more comfortable. After Saucer head agreed to stick with her until she felt she didn’t need him anymore. She went away until shortly before dusk, when she came back with a small open carriage.
“She have anything with her?”
“Bunch of cases in the back. The kind women stuff with clothes and things. She wasn’t planning on coming back.”
“Uhm. She say anything about what she was doing?”
That was the only time he was a little uncertain about what he ought to tell. He decided I needed everything. “She never said what she was up to. But she was going to meet somebody. And she wasn’t planning on coming back.”
“Then if you hadn’t been along, she would’ve disappeared and nobody would’ve known what really happened.” Gods. I blind myself with my own brilliance sometimes.
“Yeah. You going to let me tell it? Or should I catch a nap while you’re jacking your jaw?”
“One more thing, then you can get on. Your payment. How and when?”
“Up front. I always make them pay up front... well, I almost made an exception for her. I took every coin she had, and then she was still half a mark short. I forgave her that and told her she should hold out part of the fee so she wouldn’t short herself. But she said there was no problem, and when we got where we were going, I’d get my other half mark and maybe a nice bonus for being such a sweetheart.”
“Yeah. That’s Saucer head Tharpe all over. A real sweetheart. All right. Go on.”
They had moved out in the twilig
ht, Saucer head on horseback behind the carriage. He was lightly armed, but that wasn’t unusual. He preferred to rely on his strength and speed. I didn’t have to ask if he had seen anyone watching or following. He was looking for that and saw nothing. They left the city after dark and headed north at a leisurely pace, not doing any fancy switch backing, not hurrying, and not drawing any special attention. Because he rode behind the buggy most of the way, they didn’t talk much. But there was a three-quarter moon and a clear sky, and he was able to tell she was getting more worried and nervous as the night wore on. She was thoughtful of him and the animals, pausing for several rests.
About three in the morning they came to a woodland crossroad a couple miles from the famous old battleground at Litchfield, where some say the old imperial bones still sometimes get up and stalk around in search of the man who betrayed their commander.
As is customary at important crossroads, there was a central grass diamond with its tutelary obelisk. Amiranda stopped next to the obelisk where her team could crop grass. She told Saucer head they would wait there. As soon as the person she was meeting showed, he could head back to TunFaire.
Saucer head dismounted. After working the kinks out he just stood leaning against the buggy, waiting. Amiranda had little to say. An hour dragged past. She became more worried by the minute. Saucer head’s feeble attempts to reassure her foundered on his ignorance. She believed her worst fears were coming true. The moon was about to depart the heavens and the east was lightening when Saucer head realized they were no longer alone. An absence of the gossip of birds awakening tipped him off. He just had time to warn Amiranda before they charged out of the woods. The moment he saw them he knew they weren’t just road agents.
“There was at least fifteen of them, Garrett. Ogres. Some of them with the pure blood, like you don’t hardly never see no more. They had knives and sharp sticks and clubs and big bones and you could tell they was bent on murder. They was cussing in ogres on account of me being there. They wasn’t expecting me.”