by Glen Cook
So much for Saucer head. Maybe something had fallen into Morley’s lap. Besides somebody’s wife or an eggplant steak dinner. Morley wasn’t anxious to accept visitors that early in t he day but he was awake so I was allowed to go upstairs. He greeted me with a scowl and no banter.
I said, “You look like a guy who isn’t getting enough fiber in his diet. What’s the matter? Was there a crop failure in the okra forests?”
He grumbled something that sounded like, “Goddim fraggle jigginitz.”
“Would you want your virgin daughters to hear language like that?”
“Snacken schtereograk!”
Aha! He was cussing, all right, but in one of the Low Elvish dialects. I’ve learned that when he goes to grumbling in Elvish he’s usually having money troubles. “Been playing the water spiders again, have we?”
“Garrett, are you a curse upon my house?” He actually used a dwarfish idiom equally capable of being translated as “mother-in-law.” But I’m such a nice fellow nobody would ever accuse me of mother-in-lawing. “You’re the reverse blackbird, you know that? The backward harbinger. Every time I have some bad luck, I have some more because you turn up right afterward. I can count on it.”
“You don’t want me hanging around, stop betting on the bugs. There’s a simple cause-and-effect relationship there — very much like the one between betting on the bugs and losing your boots.”
He repeated his curse-upon-the-house remark. “What do you want, Garrett?”
“I want to know if you’ve heard any news I might find useful.”
“No. Ogre Town is as quiet as a crypt. Those guys came from somewhere else. And they took the gold with them when they went back. There hasn’t been a whiff of gold around town. If there was a hint of a pile that size, you know the hard boys would be as busy as maggots. Saucer head is doing all right.”
“I know. I found out the hard way. He’s got some little she-devil standing gate guard. I thought I was going to get gutted before I got out of there. Who the hell is she?”
He gave me the first flash of teeth of the visit. “His sister, maybe?”
“Horse pucky. Nobody’s sister carries on like that.”
He grinned. “Actually, I did hear one thing you might want to know, but I don’t see how it would be much use.”
“Well?”
“A drunken sailor off a night boat staggered in here right before we closed this morning. The gods know why he came here.”
“I was just thinking that myself. Only they know why anybody does.” “Night boat” is a euphemism for smuggler. Smugglers account for a third of TunFaire’s river trade.
“You want to hear this or do you want to wisecrack your way to ignorance?”
“Speak to me, Oracle of the Lettuce.”
“He mentioned that Raver Styx’s ship entered the harbor at Leifmold the afternoon they left for TunFaire. She’s on her way home, Garrett. She’ll be here in a few days. If that will make any difference in the way you do what you think you have to do.”
“It might. I figure Junior deserves special attention because of Saucer head and Amiranda. Having Mom around might present difficulties.”
“That’s the whole barrel, then. Go away so I can feel sorry for myself.”
“Right. Next time you got to bet on the bugs, let me know so I can get down the other way and clean up.”
“There won’t be a next time, Garrett.”
“Good for you, Morley.” I left the room thinking I had heard it before. He might hang in there awhile, but sooner or later he’d hear about a sure thing and the fever would get him. I told the barman downstairs, “Send him a couple of turnip tenderloins smothered in onions and a double shot of your high-proof celery juice, straight up. On me.”
He didn’t crack a smile. I headed home, my head filled with visions of a steak so rare Morley would die to look at it.
__XXIII__
Dean had the place sealed up tight. Good for him. Sometimes he forgets. I pounded away. He came and peeked through the peephole. He made a production out of checking to see if I was there under duress. Then he started clinking and clunking as he unlatched latches. He flung the door open.
“Am I glad you’re finally here, Mr. Garrett.” He did sound glad. He retreated. I went in after him, started to pull the door shut.
“What the hell? What’s this?”
We had gained another hall ornament. This one went by the name Courter Slauce when it wasn’t in the home-furnishings racket.
“Dean!”
But he was headed for the kitchen at a high-speed shuffle and dared not battle the momentum he had developed. He tossed an answer over his shoulder but it didn’t have enough oomph behind it. It fell on the floor before it got to me. I paused beside Slauce. “Finances take a turn for the worse? You’ll never make ends meet housebreaking.”
Funny. He didn’t answer. He could hear well enough, though. And I could almost hear the nasty thoughts slithering round inside his head. I told him, “You’ll make great company for Bruno. He’s been dying for a shoulder to cry on.”
I stepped past Bruno. Such a quandary. Drop in on the Dead Man and let him know I hadn’t yet found a way to lure Junior into his lair? Or track Dean down and find out why we had another statue in the hall?
Dean won the toss. He was closer to the beer. As I pushed through the door I heard Dean saying, “There. There, now. It’ll be all right. Mr. Garrett is here now. He’ll take care of everything.”
Sure he would. He stepped on in to get a better idea of where to start. Dean had his arms around an Amber who was shaking and looked like eighteen going on a terrified ten instead of thirty. Dean was patting her back and trying to still her tears. The same Dean who had stamped her with his scarlet seal of disapproval. Something had shaken her badly. And the soft heart inside the old crab’s shell had melted to her terror.
“Well?” I asked, sidling to the cold well. “Somebody want to give me an idea what’s going on?”
Amber let out a growl, tore herself away from Dean, charged into me, opening the floodgates as she came. So much for having a beer. Dean had the grace to look embarrassed as he drifted to the cold well. I let Amber get the tears out. There is no point interrupting a woman when she is crying. If you don’t get it over in one big chunk, you have to take it in a lot of little ones that come at unexpected and inopportune times. Meantime, Dean got me a mug. When Amber was down to the sniffs and quivers, I set her in a chair and told Dean to break out the brandy we keep for special occasions. I settled opposite her, in hand-touching range, and went to work on my mug. The first half went down quick and easy.
When I thought she was ready, I asked, “Can you talk about it now?”
She took a big bite out of her brandy before she nodded. “I have it under control. It was just... the circumstances, I guess. Domina and my father having a screaming argument that had everybody running for cover. Then the news about Karl. Then when I finally managed to sneak out so I could come talk to you, Courter caught up with me down the street, and when I wouldn’t go back home, the look he got made me think he wanted to kill me, too. I went kind of crazy and ran away screaming. But if the whole world has gone crazy, don’t I have the right to get a little crazy myself?”
The words tumbled out of her, tripping over one another in their haste to dance in the open air.
“Hold it! Halt! Stop! Good girl. Now take a deep breath. Hold it. Count to ten, slowly. Good. Now tell me what happened. Start from the beginning so it makes sense.”
Dean took my mug, which needed filling, and at the same time interrupted. “If you’ll pardon me, Mr. Gar-rett, the most important point comes out of order. Her brother is dead.”
I stared at Amber. She shivered, nodded. She was counting well past ten. “How?”
“They say he committed suicide.”
That caught me flat-footed. I didn’t know what to say. Before I got my mind in order, my permanent motionless houseguest brok
e all precedent and reached out beyond the bounds of his demesne.
Garrett. Bring them in here.
Dean caught it, too. He looked to me for instructions. “Do what he says, I guess. Amber, come with me. My associate wants us to talk it over in his presence.”
“Do I have to?”
“Keep thinking two hundred thousand marks gold.”
“I’m not sure I want to keep on... Of course I do. I want out of that place more than ever, now. I’ll never feel safe there again.”
“Let’s go, then. Don’t worry about him. He’s harmless to those who intend him no harm.”
I’d forgotten one thing.
__XXIV__
Amber let out a squeal that was half pain, half horror. I thought she would faint. But she was made of tougher stuff than I suspected. She hung on to my arm a bit while she stared at Amiranda, then got hold of herself, stepped back, looked at me. “What’s going on, Garrett?”
“That’s what I found instead of the gold.” She stepped over to the corpse.
Bring Mr. Slauce, Garrett. It may be helpful to present him with the same shock. “What about the other one?”
Dispose of him once we are done here. He should have learned his lesson.
“Want to give me a hand, Dean?” I didn’t doubt that I could manage Slauce by myself. If nothing else, I could tip him over and roll him. But why strain myself?
We dragged him inside and per instructions set him down facing Amiranda. Amber seemed in control again. She said, “You have some things to tell me.” “I’ll tell you my story if you’ll tell me yours.” About then the Dead Man loosed his hold on Courter Slauce. I went to the door to make sure he didn’t use it before we were done with him. He shook all over. There wasn’t much bluff in him when he looked around. He didn’t say anything. That disappointed me. I’d expected some bluster and the invocation of the Stormwarden.
“I want to know some things,” I told him. “I think Miss daPena has a few questions, too. It’s even possible Miss Crest might want to know why she was killed.”
His eyes darted to the corpse. “I don’t know nothing about that. Were did that come from? I thought she run off. Domina has been chewing my butt for days because she managed to get out of the house with her stuff. Never mind that I was halfway across town delivering a letter to one of the Baronet’s girlfriends when she did it. That wouldn’t have done for an excuse anyway, since I couldn’t tell her.”
He is telling the truth he believes, Garrett.
“Then he wasn’t in on it?”
“Not wittingly, though I did not say that, Garrett.
“All right. Slauce. Who kidnapped Junior?”
“What the hell? How should I know? What the hell are you doing sticking your nose in, anyway? You got paid. You’re out of it.”
“That supposes nobody but Willa Dount would hire me. Slauce, I think you know the answer to the question. Just in case, though, I’ll tell you the answer. Nobody kidnapped him. Unless a man can kidnap himself. My main interest, though, is why did Amiranda have to be killed? And who said the word that made it happen?”
Amber opened her mouth. I raised a hand, cautioned her to silence. Slauce didn’t need to know her angle.
You are getting ahead of yourself, Garrett. No interrogation or manipulation of this man can be soundly founded — until we have heard everything Miss daPena has to tell us. Have you forgotten what brought her here? Or is her brother’s demise too trivial for consideration?
I hadn’t forgotten. I was stalling, having to deal with Amber’s grief and hysteria and hoping for a breakthrough with Slauce that would give me the answer to my own dilemma. But I wasn’t thinking soundly. Not to hear Amber out would be stupid. Since I’m one of the smartest guys around, it wouldn’t do for me to tarnish my image by doing something dumb.
“You win, Old Bones. But upon your head be the rainfall.”
It was not I who felt compelled to charge off to the rescue.
It is possible, with great concentration, to shut him out — if he has other things on his minds. He always has to have the last word. There are times he has all the disadvantages of a wife, with none of the advantages.
“Amber. You feel up to telling me what you came to tell? All settled down now?”
Slauce started snarling. “Girl, you don’t talk to this guy about nothing. You don’t do nothing but march yourself straight home.”
I scowled at the Dead Man and said, “You had to let him get his second wind.”
Amber told Slauce, “Shove your elbow up your nose, Courter. You don’t scare me anymore. In a couple of days you and Domina are going to be hanging out in the wind. Aren’t you? Maybe you could bull-smoke your way around Karl, but not Karl and Amiranda. And I’m sure not going back there and give you guys a chance to explain to Mother about Karl and Amiranda and me!”
“What kind of crazy talk is that, girl? Your brother killed himself.”
“Just like Amiranda ran away. Give me credit for knowing my brother. You’re not going to sell me that. My mother isn’t going to buy it, either. And I’m not going anywhere near any of you people. Not when two out of the three family heirs suddenly turned up murdered.”
“Three out of four,” I tossed in, just to see how high the water would splash. “Amiranda was pregnant. Three months. The child would have been male.”
That was a surprise to both Amber and Slauce. It silenced them. But if it wakened any suspicions, they concealed them well. I faced the Dead Man, indicated Slauce. “Shut him off, will you? I don’t need him shoving his oar in while the lady is talking.”
What lady?
Slauce went stiff as a corpse. Timely revelation, Garrett. You have him rattled and reflective. But you may have cost yourself your credibility with the girl. She has begun to suspect that you have not been candid about your own motives.
Yeah.
__XXV__
I said, “I think the best way would be for you to start right after the last time we talked.”
Amber balked. “You aren’t interested in anything but Ami.”
“Oh?” I admitted an interest. “And I want whoever did this to her. I don’t like people who waste attractive young women. But if you think I’m immune to the charms of a share of two hundred thousand marks gold, then you’re a lot sillier than I think you are. Listen here. I’d be on this trail just as hot if that was you over there and Amiranda was standing where you are. I want the guy behind it. And I’ll bet your mother will, too, once she gets here.”
“There’ll be hell to pay.”
She is going to buy it, Garrett. You slick talker. I gave the Dead Man the look he deserved. “Amber, right now all I have to work with is what you can tell me.”
She stalled long enough to satisfy her ego, then got to it. “Courter saw you when you were leaving. He ran right to Domina. Naturally. And she flew into one of her rages. Only more so. I’ve seen her angry before but I never ever saw her lose control. She screamed and threatened and threw things and scared Karl so bad he told her everything we said. So it’s good we didn’t say anything about the gold. He would have told her about that, too. I didn’t tell her anything. That made her mad all over again, so she had Courter give me a beating and lock me in my room. They didn’t let me out till this morning.”
She pirouetted, pranced over to Slauce, slapped him, and danced back. “There.”
“They,” it turned out, had been Karl, who had come to her while the house was asleep, unlocking her door. He had seemed severely troubled but had refused to explain except to say that he’d had all that he could take and was going away now and wouldn’t be back.
“But that didn’t mean he was going to kill himself.”
I didn’t believe he was the type, either. Not enough guts. “You’d better go over what he said. There might be some hint there. Try to recall his exact words and actions.”
“I don’t know how I could get his words more exact. Except that he asked me to go with h
im. I told him I wasn’t miserable enough yet to give up and run without any prospects. But he was. Really. Something had shaken him badly. He was pale. He couldn’t stand still. He was sweating.”
“In othere words, he was scared.”
“Terrified.”
“Like he had seen a ghost?”
“That’s funny.”
“What is?”
“That’s exactly what I thought then. That he must have seen a ghost.”
“Maybe he did. At least secondhand. Go on. He left?”
“As soon as he knew I wasn’t going with him.”
“Any hint where?”
“A safe place with an old friend is what he told me when I asked.”
“Donni Pell?”
“Maybe. That’s what I thought when he said it. The way he said it. Donni Pell or Ami. I just figured he knew where Ami went.”
“Why Amiranda?”
“They grew up together. They were close. They always had their heads together. If she ran away, he had to know where she went. She wouldn’t go without leaving him a message somehow. Even if he was kidnapped when she went.”
The more I saw of them, the more the workings and relationships of the daPena family baffled me. “All right. It could have been Amiranda but it wasn’t because she was dead. We have to assume it was Donni Pell. That might not be true but anything else seems unlikely. Given his nature, it would have been a woman. Correct? Who else did he know? No one you or I know about. I guess I’ll have to go there and see.”
This business was all legwork. Morley would approve of the exercise I was getting. “Go on with the story. Your brother decamped, headed for parts unknown, frightened. Then what?”
“Twenty minutes later, Courter came. They knew Karl was out. They wanted me to tell them where he went.”