But these notes—and the very real possibility of parole—suggested something different.
Nikki nodded. “Might even get her a longer sentence, honestly, if those notes are as bad as you said they were.”
Wow. With shaky hands, I unlocked the dorm room door and went inside to my desk. I pulled open the bottom drawer, lifted out a heavy biology textbook I’d yet to use, and gathered the pile of letters.
They had all the weight of a poisonous snake ready to strike, and I shoved them into an empty folder so I wouldn’t have to see them anymore. I tried not to watch Nikki’s eyes, I really did, but I couldn’t miss the overwhelmed, terrified, pitying look that was there.
She quickly replaced it with a placid smile. “We’ll get this figured out, girl. I promise.”
It was an empty promise, but it made me feel better, less alone, to know someone cared other than Grandma and some random salesperson.
We walked together to the parking lot in mostly silence. It was early enough that hardly anyone was awake. I liked the campus best this way. It reminded me of my morning runs in Woodman. Of coming back into the house to Grandma reading her newspaper and offering me hot green tea.
My yellow bug came into view, a shiny spot in the sea of vehicles. “This is mine,” I said.
She giggled. “Sticks out like a sore thumb. Like mine.”
“Hey,” I said, “don’t compare my baby to your rust bucket.”
“Rust bucket?” She feigned offense. “How dare you call Priscilla a rust bucket!”
“You named that thing Priscilla?”
With an embarrassed, tight-lipped smile, she nodded.
I laughed. “Irony. I like it.”
I put my key in the trunk at the front of the car and loaded up my things before unlocking the doors and getting inside.
“This is cute,” Nikki said.
“I love it.” I ran my fingers over the keychain Mr. Pelosi had gotten me before putting my key in the ignition. Even if I couldn’t have him as a teacher, I still had his wisdom—the things he’d taught me.
I typed the address to the prison into my GPS, and we started the two-hour drive to see my mother.
“It’s in the middle of nowhere,” I told Nikki.
“Yeah, I looked it up last night,” she admitted. “So she’s been in there for a year?”
“Not quite,” I said. “I think they kept her in the county jail for a while before she was sentenced.”
Her lips formed an “oh.” And that was it before her next question broke the silence. “What are you going to say to her when you see her?”
“Isn’t that the million-dollar question.”
Chapter Forty-Three
The closer we got to the prison, the more my heart sped and my hands shook. I could see the brick building looming out of the ground from a mile away. It stood solitary, away from the town so the women inside would be as separated from society as possible.
Didn’t they know even if they stuck them on the moon it wouldn’t be far enough away?
I parked in the nearly empty parking lot, leaving my hands on the wheel and staring straight ahead.
“Are you okay?” Nikki asked.
A quick shake of my head indicated my answer.
“Just nervous?”
Just? I was seconds from collapsing into a pile and never getting up again. This whole thing had been a hare-brained idea. She was in jail. It wasn’t like she could do anything to me from inside the walls of this building, trapped within the chain-link fence and spiraling barbed wire. Was it really worth seeing her again just to confront her about the letters?
“What would happen if we went back to the college?” I asked.
Nikki paused for a moment before shifting in her seat and putting a hand on my shoulder. “You don’t have to be here, you know. You could turn those letters in to the cops now that you think it’s her and let them investigate it. But you haven’t yet. Admit it; some part of you wants to confront her on your own and put a stop to this.”
I breathed deeply. She was right. I’d needed to go in there and confront my mom. But that didn’t make letting go of the steering wheel and getting out of the car any easier.
“I’ve seen you run ten miles without stopping and lift weights like a freakin’ boss,” Nikki said. “You can take on some coward who beat up on a teenage girl with wire hangers and sent these notes.”
There was a fire in her voice that caught on my soul. It was just enough to make me open the car door, get inside, and drive to the prison.
There weren’t many people in the waiting room. I bet they would start filtering in soon, though, with it being a holiday weekend. I stepped forward to the receptionist, and this time, I was ready for the skeptical look she gave me behind the glass.
I didn’t belong here, but she didn’t know that.
After thirty minutes of waiting in silence beside Nikki, a CO came back and got me. He searched me in a holding room. Wove a wand over my body. Checked that my bra didn’t have any wires. Looked over my clothes for signs of logos or too much skin.
My body might have been there for the examination, but my mind was somewhere else. Another room over to be exact. To the woman with the sunken eyes and lank hair and a tongue that could do just as much damage as any weapon.
“I don’t have all day,” the CO grunted, waiting by the door.
My eyes snapped to where he stood. “Sorry,” I mumbled and followed him.
We walked back to the same visiting room as when I went with Grandma, but it looked so different this time. Now, I knew the prison was her home. Where my mother belonged. A reflection of her life and her choices. Not of me. At least, I hoped.
He sat me down at the table farthest from the two other families visiting. There were children with their dad and someone who was clearly a caseworker with a clipboard and business casual dress clothes. Then a couple, holding hands across the table. The guy had tattoos wrapped around his arm and all the way up his neck.
And then the door opened, and my mother walked in.
She wasn’t beautiful anymore. Not even close. She appeared dead, drained, in every sense of the word. Even her skin looked squalid.
The CO kept his hand on her back until she sat down across from me. She shrugged away from him, and he grunted as he walked away.
Those death-incarnate, drilling eyes turned on me, and her voice came out as threatening as a snake’s hiss. “To what do I owe this visit, darling daughter?”
“Cut the crap,” I said.
Her eyes showed a spark of life as she leaned back and folded her arms across her chest. “What, no show of the perfect Abigail when your grandma’s not around to watch you?”
I ignored her comment. “I came to tell you to stop sending the notes.”
“What notes?”
“Don’t play dumb,” I snapped. “You know exactly what notes. I don’t know how you got my new address, but I’m tired of seeing them. If you’ve got something to say to me, say it right now.”
“Oh, I’ve got plenty to say to you,” she said, disinterested. “But it might take all day. What’s in it for me?”
I rolled my eyes.
Her voice turned sickly sweet. “Don’t you roll your eyes at your mother, precious girl.”
“Stop it,” I whisper-yelled. “Listen, I’m telling you to stop, and if you don’t, I will report the letters to the police and you’ll be in here even longer.”
I fought to hide the shake in my voice. Being here, around my mom, around the life I worked so hard to escape—it ate at me.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she deadpanned
“Really? ‘You won’t last six months.’ ‘Starving yourself won’t make him stay.’ You’ve been sending me these ridiculous letters since graduation.”
Her mouth tightened in a hard line. “I don’t like being accused of things I didn’t do.”
“Well that’s good, because you did do this,” I retorted, strugglin
g to keep my voice down. “And I’m tired of it. Get the hell out of my life!”
She stood up.
As the CO walked over to get her, she spat, “Then get the hell out of mine.”
I sucked in deep breaths as they escorted me back to the waiting area. Last time I’d been here, I’d passed out, been overwhelmed, had blood dripping down my cheek from my mother’s assault.
Now, my only wounds were mental. The reminder of where I came from. The fear of the future. And now the confusion of not knowing who had sent the letters. Because I knew how my mother looked when she lied. She had been telling the truth.
The second I walked into the lobby and Nikki saw me, she stood up. “Did she—”
I shook my head, indicating we should wait until we got outside to discuss it. Who knew who was listening here.
I waited to speak until we were in my car and on the road. “I don’t know who’s been sending those letters, but it wasn’t my mom.”
Chapter Forty-Four
Nikki and I spent the rest of the trip trying to think of who it could be, but I had no idea. My dad hadn’t spoken to me since he’d been in prison. There was no way for him to know where I lived, especially now that I was in college. Plus, I’d flown so far under the radar in McClellan and Woodman, there was no reason for anyone to hate me.
“Could it be someone at the college?” she asked.
I snorted. “You mean out of the five people that know I exist?”
She gave me the side-eye.
“You know, now that I think about it, Prof Warren was pretty mad about me being late to class the first day.”
She popped my shoulder. “Seriously,” she said. “You should bring them to the police.”
“What for?” I asked. “They already told my grandma if there’s nothing they can do if I don’t know who it is.”
She lifted her hands in exasperation. “I don’t know. Maybe you can ask them to keep patrol cars around the college, just in case? This is scary, Abi.”
I fought the fear rising in my own chest, making acid swirl in my stomach. “It’s probably just a prank,” I tried to convince myself. “I’ll be fine.”
From the twist of her lips and the way she was ringing her hands, she didn’t believe me. “Fine. But you should get a gun.”
I snorted at the ridiculousness of the idea, then jingled my keychain, which now had the defense attachment and pepper spray right next to my Einstein quote. “I’m good.”
She seemed skeptical but kept her thoughts to herself. That was fine, because I had plenty of my own.
If the letters weren’t coming from my mom, they were coming from someone who knew my address before and after I started college. That was a pretty limited number of people, none of whom I could even dream would write those letters to me. Or give my address to someone who would.
Unless someone had been watching me. Just the thought sent chills through my skin, making me feel dirty, exposed. Having Nikki here right now was the only thing keeping complete panic at bay. “Thanks for coming,” I said.
“Any time. Really.” Her lips twitched. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”
My hands tensed on the steering wheel, but I made my face a mask. “Sure. What?”
“Why haven’t you told your boyfriend what’s going on?”
“The truth?” I asked, keeping my eyes straight ahead.
“Yeah,” she said softly.
“Because.” I took a breath. Another one. “My boyfriend has enough to worry about without adding me to the mix.”
She let it drop, and we rode quietly the rest of the way home, the radio filling the space around us.
When we got back to the college, Nikki showed me where she’d parked “Priscilla.”
I pulled alongside her vehicle and looked over at her. I realized she was my first real, true friend at college, and my heart swelled more than I was comfortable with. I didn’t want to scare her away. “See you at practice Monday?”
“For sure,” she said. “And let your grandma feed you when you’re home. I know you’ve been stressed, but you have to keep your energy up.”
I told her I would, even though my stomach had other feelings about food at the moment.
The second she left the car, I felt so much more alone, vulnerable. I hurriedly put my car in gear and started the drive home, checking my rearview mirror along the way to make sure no one was following me.
My phone rang, and Jon’s name appeared across the screen. My shoulders immediately relaxed as I held the phone to my ear and said, “Hello?”
“Hi, beautiful,” he breathed.
This. This was what I needed to hear.
“How are you?” I asked. “How’s your cousin?”
He paused, and I heard him blow out a heavy breath. “It’s not looking good, Abs. She’s in so much pain.”
I hated to hear that she was in pain, hated the hurting clear in his own voice. “What can I do?”
“Just…talk to me? I miss you.”
A smile quirked my lips. “I miss you too.”
“Tell me what you did this morning. What you’re going to do when you get home.”
“Oh…” I stuttered. “I, um, hung out with Nikki this morning. Drove around.” It was close to the truth.
“That sounds fun,” he said. “See, I told you you’d make friends.”
“You were right,” I said. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Always.” He laughed. “What about tonight? I can’t believe I’m missing Roberto being home.” Regret twisted through his words. “I feel like I needed to be here, though.”
“There will be other times,” I reassured, trying to comfort him. “I’m not sure what we’re doing, but I think Stormy has a plan.”
He chuckled. “As usual.”
I loved that my friends had become our friends. It made me feel even more connected to him. “And I’m going to get some time in with Grandma on Sunday. I think we’re going antiquing.”
“Her whole house is an antique.”
I laughed. That was true. “She just doesn’t throw things away until she’s gotten the goodie out of it. Technically, she’s an environmentalist.”
That made him laugh. “Sure.”
“Come on. You can’t be judging. Your mom gave you a needlepoint to hang up in your room that says ‘dorm sweet dorm.’”
“Shh,” he hurriedly said. “You’re ruining my street cred.”
“With who, you goodie-two-shoes?”
“Hey, I prefer socially responsible.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said.
Voices sounded in the background on Jon’s phone.
“Sorry,” he said, “I gotta go. I love you.”
The call had already ended by the time I said it back.
Chapter Forty-Five
Soon, the huge grain elevators on the outside of Woodman appeared on the horizon, and a weight that had been on my shoulders since the day I left lifted.
Home.
This was home.
First on my agenda? Going to Stormy’s to see my friends. We had to hang out during the day because Stormy had taken the closing shift at the restaurant, and things just weren’t the same without her.
Honestly, I wouldn’t even have these friends without her.
When I started down her street, I saw most of the guys standing around Frank’s Suburban with the tailgate up. A massive red cooler sat inside. Stormy walked down the sidewalk with Leanne and Macy, carrying roasting pans wrapped in foil.
We hadn’t talked about specifics, but it seemed like they had a pretty big plan going. What were they up to?
Roberto saw me first and pointed, a grin splitting his face. The others followed his stare and waved at me. It felt like that day in the cafeteria all over again when I walked up to see them applauding me. Telling me I was in.
I honked at them, then parked on the opposite end of the street, facing the wrong way. Being back in Woodman was great. I could never do th
at in Austin.
Stormy set her pan down and ran to hug me first, wrapping me in her slender arms.
“Chica!” Stormy said, pulling back to look at me. “Damn, you’re looking fine.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re going to make Frank jealous.”
“He should be jealous!” She waved her arms at the others. “Look how ripped Abi is!”
“Okay, okay.” I wrapped my arms around my middle. She just couldn’t see all the loose skin and fat hiding underneath the modest clothes I had to wear to the prison. “Can we talk about someone else? Roberto! Look at your hair!”
He had little patterns shaved into the side of his head.
“It looks so cool,” I said.
Macy rubbed her hands over the side. “Feels cool, too!”
Soon we were all rubbing Roberto’s head and he was running away, and we were chasing him in the street like kids with a loose ball, not a care in the world.
A car honked at us, the man inside shaking his head like this was the exact reason he had a “STAY OFF MY YARD” sign in front of his house.
We laughed, and the others started getting into Frank’s Suburban.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Fishing hole,” Stormy said. “You got a suit?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t know we’d be going anywhere.”
“I brought an extra,” Leanne said. “Just in case.”
I shrugged and got in the car, taking a seat in the middle row by Evan and Michele. At least he sat in the middle. I couldn’t be imagining the death stares Michele kept sending my way when Evan wasn’t looking.
I decided to change my focus and twisted in my seat so I could see Roberto, Macy, and Leanne in the back seat. “Tell us about basic, Roberto.”
He gave me a lopsided smile. “What do you want to know?”
Frank shouted from the front. “Tell her about the toothbrushes!”
“Shit.” Roberto looked out the side of the car. “Those sergeants are hard-asses, guera, like you have no idea. Worse than Mrs. Delby. Some of the guys were a little slow to get out of bed, and you know what they made us do?
Abi and the Boy Who Lied Page 13