by Aubrey Dark
“Yeah, well, life hurts, Justin. Get over it.”
I opened the car door again.
“So what, you’re just going to dump me? Like I was nothing?”
“You are nothing.” Bitterness flooded my cheeks. “I’m embarrassed that I ever thought you were something to me.”
Justin put his hand on mine. I pulled it away.
“You can’t do this, Sierra. I won’t let you.”
“Yeah? You’re going to throw yourself at my car again?”
“Maybe.”
“Because if you do that again,” I said, letting the bitterness curdle in my veins, “I’m just going to keep going. And the divorce will go even easier if I’m trying to divorce a dead guy, don’t you think?”
He grinned. The stupid asshole grinned. As though he could charm me back into his world with a smile and a dimple.
“I don’t think you know what you’re doing, Sierra,” he said.
“I do. I’m divorcing you, Justin. It’s happening.” I didn’t look at my watch, but I needed to go. Soon. I had seven hundred dollars in my pocket and an appointment to keep.
“I think you need my signature to make that happen.”
“You don’t think I can get a divorce without your permission? Because I think I can.”
“I think you can, if you want to lose Kit.”
My blood went cold. Justin’s smile was like a tiger’s as he leaned back on the hood of the car. I let the car door close loosely.
“The hell does that mean?” I asked. I wanted the words to come out confident, but they were limp and uneasy.
Justin pounced on my anxiety. Leaning closer, his grin grew even wider.
“It means that I might have some incriminating texts that show you’re not exactly a fit parent. I have your dad recorded on the phone, saying that you’re still working marks in the city. And I know the IRS has proof that your money is coming from unmarked sources. Now, that could mean anything. You might not be a thief. Maybe you’re a stripper, or maybe you’re a drug dealer—”
“Fuck you.” My voice trembled.
“Either way, I think a judge is gonna want to see some evidence for where your money has been coming from. See, I’ve been a model citizen these past couple a years. Steady work—”
“At your brother’s junkyard?”
“It’s work. It’s not illegal. You got something better?”
I shut up, because I didn’t.
“Now, you could get things taken care of real easy here. I’m not willing to sign any divorce papers, but that doesn’t always have to be the case.”
“Yeah? How?”
“I hear your new hubby-to-be has a lot of money. So.”
“So?”
“So, maybe he writes me a check for a million, and this problem all goes away.”
A buzzing noise rose in my ears, and my heartbeat bumped up another notch again.
“A million—you’re crazy! He would never do that.”
“I bet you could convince him. You’re good at being real convincing.”
William’s face appeared in my mind, and I recoiled at the thought of trying to manipulate him like that. I’d already lied to him too many times. I didn’t want to lie to him. I wanted to have someone in my life that I could tell the truth to. Just one person who could know the real me, who wouldn’t flee at my true self.
Justin shrugged, leaning so close to me that I could smell his cheap cologne. Sea River Cologne. What a stupid name. His voice was a husky whisper.
“Or you can let your new sugar daddy know that his whore is already taken.”
That was it. I wasn’t taking this anymore.
“I’m not a whore.”
I shoved him away and went for the door handle. But before I could get in, Justin had shoved me back up against the car. He leaned against me, his leg pressing against mine, pinning my hip back. The breath went out of my lungs, and everything smelled like Sea River.
“Yeah, you’re not a whore. Tell me again how you got all your cash. Picking up guys every night in that club—”
“I don’t sleep with them.”
My hands forced his chest back, but I was no match for him. His chin thrust into my face, claiming my personal space as his.
“Not anymore. Now you got one of your marks for good. Lucky you. Your daddy’s a gambler but you’re the one with all the luck, huh?”
I stared up into his face. He was drunk, I realized, or on something else. He had never hurt me when we were together, but right now the way his eyes glittered angrily made me scared.
“I can’t believe I ever thought you were a decent guy. You’re pure scum, Justin.”
I spat in his face, and he slapped me. The sound rang through my ears, echoing like a bad dream that I couldn’t get rid of. Justin leaned towards me, eyes narrow as slits, and—
And then, in a blur, someone crashed into Justin, tearing him off of me. I didn’t have time to breathe before realizing that it was William.
He had Justin pinned down to the hood of my car in another half second. Justin struggled, but William slammed his head face first into the metal. I blinked and saw blood drip onto the car. My heart was still waiting to decide whether or not it was time to start beating again.
“Get off of me, you bastard!” Justin screamed. His nose was bloody, and his front lip looked cut, too. His eyes were wild. And William…
William looked completely calm. It scared me more than Justin’s anger, because there was no way he could be that calm. He shouldn’t be that calm. He wasn’t even perspiring as he slammed Justin’s head down again. He didn’t even flinch.
“SONOFABISH!” Justin yelled, spitting up blood. “YOU DON’T—”
“Stop,” William said, his voice ice cold. Chills made goosebumps rise on the backs of my arms, although it was sunny.
When it was apparent Justin was done screaming, he continued in the same calm tone.
“You will get up from this car, and you will leave. You will never come near this property again. Do you understand?”
“Sierra—”
“You won’t come near Sierra either. If you do, I’ll have you thrown in jail. And I promise you that it won’t be a nice experience.”
“She’s my wife.” The words came out muddy through his blooded lips. “I’b her husband!”
“I don’t care who you are. If you show your face around here again, you’ll have a lot more to worry about than getting a little beat up. Understood?”
Justin was silent. William pressed his arm up into his lower back until he shouted with pain.
“Okay! Okay! I’ll leave!”
William released Justin, who leapt up from the car hood as though it was red hot. His eyes were wild, and his chin was dripping blood onto his shirt.
“You remember what I told you!” he yelled, pointing directly at me. A shiver of fear plucked at my nerves.
“Get out,” William repeated, blank and calm.
“You jus’ remember! Remember, bitch!”
He got into his car, which was parked just a little further down the side embankment, and slammed the door. As he pulled out, his tires sprayed gravel so close that I could feel the grit scrape my lower legs as it scattered.
When the car’s engine faded into the distance, I was able to let out a shaky breath.
“Thank you,” I said to William, who was still looking stonily off down the road. “Thank you so much. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come along.”
“Get into the car,” William said. “We’re going back to the house.”
“I—I can’t,” I said hesitantly. “I have an appointment—”
“Back to the house. Now.”
“But—”
He turned toward me then, and his eyes were a dark, winter-ice gray. His mouth was set in an unyielding line. My chest clenched again as he opened the car door for me. I’d escaped the fire, only to be tossed into the furnace.
“You have some expl
aining to do,” he said, in a voice that told me he already understood too much.
Chapter 21
“How did you know to come save me?” Sierra asked. Her knuckles were white on the steering wheel as she drove us back up to the house.
“There are security cameras down the driveway and on the road,” I said.
I didn’t say anything else. She wasn’t owed an explanation. And my jaw was clenched so tight, I thought that I would wear all of the enamel off of my teeth by the time we got back. She had lied to me. Again. I didn’t know what to do. But I knew we had to talk.
And this time, she wasn’t going to lie to me.
She pulled in front of the house and parked. Then I saw tears start to trickle down the sides of her cheeks.
“Please, can we not go back in the house?” she said. Her broken voice pained my heart, but I pulled my emotion back. She didn’t deserve my pity.
“Why not?”
“I don’t want Kit to hear us arguing. Or Teresa. I—I don’t—”
“Fine,” I said. “We don’t have to go to the house.”
She turned off the engine and followed me as I went around the side of the garage. I didn’t slow down for her as I hiked up the side trail that led away from the house. I didn’t tell her where we were going.
And to my surprise, she didn’t ask.
We reached the small lookout cabin after a minute of fast hiking. Her breath was coming fast, and I saw that her hair was dark with perspiration from the climb. I went to the icebox and pulled out two bottles of water, then handed her one. She drank thirstily. I flexed my hand, my knuckles still aching from having gripped that man so hard.
Truth be told, I had shocked myself with the intensity of my reaction. As soon as he’d laid a hand on Sierra, I hadn’t been able to control myself. It had been like the first night I was with her—all of my self-discipline had gone out the window, and I’d reacted with pure instinct.
“I’m sorry,” Sierra said. She was looking out the large picture window of the cabin, where the view expanded to include the far part of the ridgeline. Two hawks dipped and circled over the tops of the trees, whirling in the invisible currents.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to lie, but I had no choice. I thought I could get a divorce before you found out.”
My heart clenched further. Then it was true. I had hoped that the man had been lying. I’d hoped that he was a jealous ex, and nothing more. But this—this was like a blow to the deepest part of my core.
“I trusted you, Sierra,” I said, my words falling off of my tongue. I was helpless to catch them. “I trusted you, and you lied to me.”
“I know,” she said, her voice soft and broken.
If I hadn’t been so upset with her, I would have put my arms around her right then, gathered her to my chest. She looked so overwhelmed. So weak, so lost. So unprotected. Her dark eyes had circles under them, I noticed now that her makeup had been rubbed away. Weariness seemed to sag her body, creating its own gravity and pulling her down with it.
I cleared the anger from my voice and spoke again.
“Why haven’t you already divorced him?”
“I tried!” she cried out. Tears stained her cheeks as she turned to me, biting her lip. “It’s not like I didn’t try. I was going to a lawyer today when he stopped me—”
“Did you try before?”
“Yes! The day he left! But he didn’t sign the papers. He wouldn’t lift a finger to do anything for me.”
“So you quit trying?”
“It was right after Kit was born, and I had too much on my plate. I didn’t know how to change a diaper, let alone nurse a baby. And I still had to find time to go out and work—”
“To steal.”
“Yes! To steal!” Now the tears flowed fast down her face, and sorrow crushed her features with pain. “I didn’t know how to do anything else! I didn’t—I couldn’t—and he didn’t sign the papers, and I would have to steal so much more to hire a lawyer—”
Her words broke off as she sank onto the chair by the window, sobbing. Her hands wiped angrily at her tears, as though she hated to show me her weakness. It was all I could do not to go over and embrace her.
As upset as I was, as angry as I was by her lies, I could understand how she had come to the place she was now. She’d started out on a rough path, and every possible alternative for her led to something worse.
Even me.
I cringed inside to think that she had thrown herself at my mercy, lying to me so that she could find a way out of her predicament. The money she’d stolen, I realized then, had been for her to see a lawyer without my knowing. Even when I thought I had lifted her out of her situation, the past still came bubbling up through every crack, caustic and corroding.
Without thinking, I walked over to her. I put a hand on her head, caressing her softly. Her hair was like silk, threading through my fingers. She stared up miserably at me.
“I’m sorry. Please don’t charge me. I can’t go to jail. Please.”
I shook my head.
“I’m not going to put you in jail.”
Another tear trickled down her cheek. She didn’t bother to wipe it away. I brushed it back with my thumb. Her cheek was hot under my hand.
“I wasted your time,” she whispered. “It’s not too late for you to find another wife, right?”
“Another wife?”
The words tumbled through my ears, but it took me a moment to register them. No, I wasn’t going to marry someone else.
I wanted to marry her.
The thought came unbidden to my mind, but as soon as I thought it, I knew that it was the truth. Despite any obstacle, I would find a way to make this work. Not only because of her, but because of her daughter. I couldn’t abandon them. I couldn’t. I—
I loved them.
I breathed in sharply. The emotion that stirred my heart was too fierce to ignore. Sierra’s dark eyes searched mine, her lashes wet with tears, and I wanted to kiss them away. I wanted to take her in my arms. I couldn’t. Even if we managed to marry without another hiccup, I couldn’t bring myself to hope that she would ever feel the same way for me.
This was a business deal.
I’m good at faking things, I heard Sierra’s voice say. Well, even if she was faking this, it was as good as I was ever going to get. And I wasn’t going to let her run away.
“No,” I said. “I don’t need to find another wife.”
“But—Justin—”
“I can deal with your ex.”
“It’s just… it’s just that this… This is a lot to handle,” she said.
“You’re a lot to handle,” I corrected. “But don’t worry about me. I can handle anything.”
I wanted to comfort her. She was nearly in my arms, my hands caressing the warm skin of her shoulders. And I realized that this was what real attraction was. Not the surface, superficial physical attraction that had made my blood stir when we’d first met. This was more. This was an emotional connection that stretched out between us—that I wanted to protect her. That I wanted her to be mine; I wanted to make a family with her. I wanted to be a husband—her husband.
But it could never happen.
I forced myself to pull my hands off of her shoulders and step away, my whole body aching to move forward instead of back. I had almost composed myself when she stepped forward herself and reached up on tiptoe. Her lips brushed mine lightly, hesitantly, but even that soft touch sent shudders of desire through my nerves. I couldn’t help for a moment: I leaned into the kiss, wanting it more than I’d wanted anything.
Hell, I wanted more than a kiss. I wanted to pin her to the wall and bruise her lips until they were swollen against mine. I wanted that first night again. But her breath hitched as I kissed her back, and I had the sudden realization that I was pushing things too far. That this wasn’t what I wanted it to be.
Carefully but firmly, I pulled her away from me. My li
ps ached for more and my cock was already hard, but I managed to resist. She wasn’t doing this for herself; she wasn’t even doing this for me. She was doing this to protect her daughter, and that made everything I longed for seem very, very wrong.
“It’s alright,” I said, hoarsely. “Please. You don’t have to—”
“Right.”
She bit her lip and stared down silently at the floor. I couldn’t read her expression. I breathed in slowly, regaining my composure. Remember—all pretend. This was all pretend.
The kisses that seared my lips—the way her body pressed its soft curves into my hands—it was all pretend.
“Let me handle the divorce,” I said, forcing sanity back into my voice. “My lawyers are the best at what they can do.”
“Justin is a complete asshole,” Sierra said. Her voice was half angry, half sad. She seemed to have been changed by his appearance, and I didn’t like the change. All of her confidence had left her. “He doesn’t care who he hurts. He just gets what he wants, all the time.”
“That’s too bad for him, then.”
Her eyes fluttered up to mine, and I was glad to see a glimmer of hope in them.
“Because I always get what I want,” I continued. “And I’m not about to break my winning streak.”
Then, before I could embarrass myself with another kiss, I turned and left the cabin. Hurrying back to the house, I tried to forget about the way Sierra had looked up at me, about the way her dark eyes had sent out a longing that made me shiver with the idea that she could ever long for me. I didn’t have time to think about that kind of thing, anyway.
There was suddenly a lot that needed to be done. And with only a week left before the wedding date, I had to move quickly.
Chapter 22
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
I should have pushed myself away from William before I’d done something recklessly stupid. He’d agreed to help me with my divorce, and my first instinct was to throw myself into his arms.
But of course he wouldn’t want my affection. He wanted one thing from me, and it was something I couldn’t give him.
I was still married. He knew that. He was probably coming up with a backup plan this very minute. If Justin wasn’t cooperative, that would mean the end of our fake marriage. Forget the dress. Forget the wedding. He would call the whole thing off.