by Wendy Owens
“You just need to find your roar,” Haim responded.
“My roar?” Gabe asked.
“Yeah, all guardians have it.”
“Well, are you going to tell me what it is or make me guess?” Gabe asked while rubbing an ache in his back.
“It’s this energy inside you. It’s kind of like when a lion finds its roar,” Haim explained.
“What is this, some kind of Disney movie?” Gabe joked.
Haim smiled and then answered, “Funny. But I’m being serious.”
“Okay, fine. You’re being serious. So how do I find this roar?” Gabe questioned with a sigh.
Without a word, Haim turned and walked to the edge of the combat ring. He placed a wooden beam across two posts and looked back at Gabe.
“What’s that for?” Gabe chuckled cautiously.
“I want you to break it,” Haim answered directly.
“What? First we’re in a Disney movie and now I’m supposed to be the Karate Kid or something?” Gabe taunted. Haim stood there, staring at Gabe without a word. “Seriously, I’m not going to break that.”
“Hmmm, you’re right,” Haim replied examining the beam.
“Good, I’m glad you’re finally starting to believe me,” Gabe responded, relieved. His relief quickly faded as he watched Haim pick up two more boards and place them on top of the first one.
Haim knelt to examine the thickness. Pleased with the four to five inch stack of lumber, he turned to Gabe and gave the game show hostess wave. “This seems more fitting for a guardian.”
“What?!” Gabe yelped. “I can’t ...”
“Faith. All you need is a little faith. You’re a guardian. You need to believe in yourself and the power behind you. You have as much strength as any guardian before you. You had no training, yet you were already sensing evil, you healed Sophie, you commanded your God given blade against Uri with strength and confidence. I believe in you, Gabe. We all do. Now you need to believe in yourself.”
Haim’s words resounded in Gabe’s ears. They all had so much faith in him he found himself asking, What if they all were right? What if I’m a guardian?
Taking a step closer, Haim looked into Gabe’s eyes. He lowered his voice and with great emphasis instructed Gabe to take a deep breath.
“Now clear your mind of everything and focus. Look at the beams. Tell yourself they are not indestructible, nothing is. See yourself with the ability to break them. I want you to focus until you feel a burning in your belly and that’s the moment. That’s when you take all of that strength and push it into a strike.”
Gabe approached the beams. Just as Haim instructed, he took a deep breath and focused as hard as he could. He wondered how long he would have to wait before he felt this burning, as Haim called it. Nothing seemed to be happening. “It’s not working.”
“You need to concentrate Gabe!”
He closed his eyes, trying to imagine the gathering crowd away. “I’m trying.”
“Think about Uri and Michael,” Gabe heard Haim instruct.
“If they were in danger, wouldn’t you want to help them?” Haim continued. “If you don’t know how to use your powers, how much help do you think you would be?”
Gabe opened his eyes and looked at the beams. He thought about his new friends, these men he barely knew, but had been so welcoming and loving to him. At this very moment they could be in danger and there was nothing he could do; he felt helpless. He wanted to be powerful and dependable. He wanted to help them so badly, the way he had wanted to help his parents all those years ago, but there was still no fire in his belly.
“I’m sorry, I don’t feel anything,” Gabe informed his teacher. More time passed, and slowly Gabe found himself becoming convinced, he had been right all along and he was no guardian .
“Remember the night you came, the demons on the road?” Haim persisted. “Remember Sophie?” Gabe closed his eyes and it was as if he were transported back to that roadside. Looking out the window, helpless as those winged beasts attacked.
He remembered how he had stayed hidden while Uri pleaded with Sophie to cast the spell to save them. The sound of Sophie casting the spell and then collapsing to the ground resonated in his ears. A flash of her lifeless body in his arms made him twitch. With that, a growl came from inside him. As he opened his eyes to see where the sound was coming from, he realized he was charging the beams with arms raised high.
Gabe felt his belly burning like hot coals. The heat pushed up through his chest, then to his arms and all the way out to his fingertips. Without thinking about it, Gabe’s hands came down on the beams with such force that they splintered and fell to a heap on the ground in front of him. Feeling charged, like energy was pulsing from him, he came down to rest on one knee, breathing heavily. He stayed crouched for a moment longer, not quite sure what had just happened. Gabe gaped with great astonishment at the rubble that lie before him.
When Gabe stood the sounds around him filled his ears. The crowd had erupted into a massive cheering section. He marveled at his accomplishment until the reality of the pain of his actions hit his brain sharply; he began wildly shaking his hands as they were still stinging. Staring down at his swollen hands, he noticed that had begun to glow red where they had cracked the beams.
Haim rushed over to congratulate Gabe on his accomplishment. “And you didn’t think you had it in you!” Haim bellowed.
Gabe stood, speechless. He looked back at the beams and then again at Haim. The shock turned to pure joy as Gabe let out a triumphant cry. In that moment, Gabe no longer worried about being battered and bruised by this giant that was Haim. He just wanted to learn more. He wanted to see what other surprises his body had in store for him. Gabe continued his training with Haim, fearless, a state quite unfamiliar to him.
As the hours wore on, Gabe found strength he never knew he had. His body jumped higher than it ever had before, bended in ways he never knew it could. At last, Gabe was beginning to see and believe he was capable of so much more than he had ever thought. Gabe only wished Sophie had stayed around long enough to see him find his roar.
Gabe had gone to the kitchen and grabbed some fruit and a piece of bread for dinner. Without a doubt, it had been one of the best days of his life. He had learned so many things about himself; grateful did not begin to cover how he felt. However, even with this thankful attitude, there was no denying his body ached all over, including his head. The thought of the loud chattering and clanging of the dining hall after his day working out with Haim seemed unimaginable.
All Gabe wanted to do was sit and relax in a quiet place, so he made his way across the courtyard and came to rest against a big oak tree near where Sophie and he had danced. Looking around at the familiar scenery, he quickly scarfed down the food he had brought with him and suddenly regretted not grabbing more. Deciding he would just think about something else to take his mind off the nagging hunger pains, Gabe closed his eyes and in an instant he was transported back to that evening with Sophie. Her head was perched on his shoulder and the magical light show was playing out overhead. He remembered the way her body felt against his and for a moment he thought he could smell her again.
“Gabe?” He sat there amazed; he not only could smell her, but also hear her voice. Snapping back to reality with a tap on the chest, he heard “What are you doing out here?”
Gabe shifted his sore limbs and smiled at Sophie, embarrassed she had caught him daydreaming about her. “Long day,” he muttered. “I thought I’d come out here to see if I might catch another light show.”
Sophie’s face beamed a smile as she remembered their special evening as well. She took a seat next to him and leaned back to look at the same stars Gabe had been gazing at. “So, I bet a week ago you never imagined this is where you’d be tonight,” she said accompanied by a small laugh.
He thought about where he was last week; he was going through the same motions, hoping to go unnoticed by those around him and wondering if he were cursed. “Y
eah,” he agreed. It may have seemed to most people that finding out demons were trying to take over the world was something that would shatter your existence, but Gabe realized he was happier than he had ever been. He had met Sophie and now he thought he might actually be making some real friends.
A week ago he worried about letting people get close to him for fear they would be hurt. He thought he would be alone for the rest of his life. Since coming to the manor, he had made friends that felt so familiar it was as if he had known them his entire life. This new life meant Sophie, dancing under the stars, binging on candy with her late at night, and all around just feeling good.
“I bet you wish you had taken the blue pill now,” Sophie added with a grin. Gabe was disappointed Sophie thought that, but was also intrigued by her Matrix reference. He found his thoughts wandering to the movie and how if the main character had taken “the blue pill” life would return to normal. Gabe wasn’t sure about this new place and these people, but he was sure he didn’t want to go back to what had been his “normal” life.
Though he wanted to play it cool, he couldn’t allow her to think that he regretted coming here. “No way,” he said sitting up with a groan. “I’ve been alone for so long, you know? I was convinced there was something wrong with me and now, I come here and find out I’m like this for a reason.”
“You’re not freaked out by it all?”
“Are you kidding me? It’s amazing. I always knew something wasn’t right about me, something different. Then I come here and find out there are others just like me, people like you.” He looked into her eyes for approval.
Sophie looked at him and as her cheeks went hot, she quickly looked away so Gabe would not see her blush. She wanted to hug him and kiss him and tell him how amazing she thought he was, but she retained her composure. She knew falling in love with him would just lead to heartbreak. The prophecy had already revealed Gabe’s destiny and she feared she wouldn’t have the strength to allow him to fulfill it.
“So,” Sophie said slowly, trying to casually change the subject. “Michael and you talked?” Gabe looked at Sophie, puzzled by her question. “After we left last night,” she added.
“Oh, yeah, he gave me this.” Gabe said lifting the stone from beneath his shirt. “He wants me to wear it ... says it will keep me safe or something,” Gabe mumbled casually.
“What?!” Sophie screeched. “But I thought--” Sophie stopped herself from saying anything else, falling to the side in a huff. She was frustrated, she was sure Michael was finally going to reveal the prophecy to Gabe, but he had just given him a protection stone instead.
“What is it Sophie?” Gabe asked.
“Nothing, just forget it,” she answered.
“Something is clearly wrong, is it the stone?” Gabe asked, worried it meant something to her he was not aware of.
“No, I just...” Sophie hesitated.
“Tell me,” Gabe urged her.
She thought about it for a moment and decided someone needed to tell Gabe about the prophecy and if Michael wasn’t going to, then she would have to be the one. She told herself it wasn’t right for Gabe to make his decision to stay at Rampart or leave without knowing the truth. “I thought Michael was going to tell you about the prophecy.”
“Oh that,” Gabe said realizing suddenly why Sophie had been upset. “Michael told me about that soon after I got here,” he added.
“He did?” Sophie asked, the shock clearly displayed across her face.
“Yeah, me being some big savior of the world,” Gabe said with a laugh. “I told him I think he may have the wrong guy, but apparently the Oracle has convinced him I’m the one. I guess I’m supposed to be the defender of some great prophet.” As he recited Michael’s words, Gabe added a tone of sarcasm.
“And you’re okay with this?” Sophie looked at Gabe, searching for a sense of how it made him feel.
“Well, I have my doubts I’m the guy they’re looking for but yeah, I guess so,” Gabe replied.
“Knowing everything, you still want to stay?” Sophie asked in pure amazement of his bravery.
“Well,” Gabe began, considering how to answer and not sound like a coward. “Michael said that fulfilling my destiny as defender is completely my choice, but no matter what I decide I’m welcome to stay.”
“Yeah, the whole free will thing,” Sophie added.
“What?”
“You know, it’s one of the rules of the earthly realm,” Sophie explained seeing Gabe’s puzzled look. “Come on, have you never been to Sunday school?” she asked laughing.
“Actually, not that I can remember. Uri kept mentioning the free will thing, too, now that I think about it,” Gabe said to Sophie’s astonished look.
“Oh, well it goes like this,” Sophie explained. “So you know about Heaven and Hell right?”
“Yeah, I wasn’t raised under a rock,” Gabe scoffed.
“Just making sure,” Sophie continued. “Back when there was just Heaven and all the angels bowed and worshiped God, he made a choice.”
“Who?” Gabe asked already feeling confused.
“God,” Sophie replied
“Oh, of course,” Gabe replied.
“God decided that the angels loved him because he created them that way. That’s when he made the choice to create mankind. He’d give them everything they needed on earth to survive, but he also would design them with the ability to make a choice. Free will changed everything. I mean there was the negative, like it led to a lot of human betrayal, but it also resulted in a great and new kind of love. One made from the purist of things, a free heart. God only wanted their love if they chose to give it freely and follow him.”
“I get that,” replied Gabe. “I mean, what fun is it loving someone when you know they only love you because they have to.”
“Exactly,” Sophie continued. “So it became a rule of the earthly realm. Even after Lucifer and his followers were cast out of Heaven, the rule applied to them as well.”
“What do you mean 'applies to them as well'? Why would someone choose a demon?” Gabe inquired.
“You don’t have to choose to follow a demon,” Sophie paused, carefully choosing her words. “If someone chooses to cling to God of their own free will, their soul can’t be claimed by Lucifer and his army. However, if they, of that same free will, choose to walk their own path and ignore God, then their soul is fair game.”
“So this is all just some sick game between two powerful beings. A game of who can collect the most souls?” Gabe asked, a bit annoyed at the concept.
“No, you’re missing the point,” Sophie said, frustrated she was not relaying her message more clearly to Gabe. “Lucifer wants to take as many souls as he can because he hates God and men. He has always been jealous of mankind and couldn’t understand why God ever created them. He views humans as an abomination.”
“Okay, good to know,” Gabe said, “You still haven’t told me how this is not a game?”
Sophie smiled at Gabe. “If this were all just a silly game the outcome wouldn’t matter. God isn’t trying to save the most souls because he wants to win some competition; he wants all the souls ...” Sophie paused and looked over at Gabe and softly said “because he loves us unconditionally of his own free will.”
Gabe sat back and thought about the idea of a being loving him despite his flaws. He had never considered himself religious, but here, now, under this sky, sitting next to Sophie, he realized all the pieces were falling into place. He did have a destiny and it was here.
She looked at him and could see by his expression he got it. He understood why they were here and why free will must be respected above all else. “Enough of this heavy stuff,” she finally said jumping to her feet and brushing the dirt from her bottom. She extended her hand to him. “Come on, I want to show you something.”
Gabe’s muscles had decided to completely lock up on him. As he was pulled to his feet he winced from the pain. “Where are we going?” he aske
d, slowly regaining the use of his limbs. He hoped wherever they were going it was close; he feared soon his body would rebel completely.
“You’ll see,” Sophie answered, punching him in the arm playfully. “Come on wuss,” she said and took off running toward the main building.
Gabe let out a gust of air in response to the blow and laughed painfully through gritted teeth. “You’ll pay for that.” he yelled after her. He did his best to give chase but could only manage a light jog.
Finally, they reached a building, Sophie laughing uncontrollably by this point, pleased she was triumphant in the race. Gabe followed her inside and they both did their best to steady their breath. “So where are we going?” Gabe huffed as he asked again.
“I want to show you something,” Sophie replied, looking over her shoulder, her hair pulling across her face and tangling at her lips. Gabe smiled and wished he had the nerve to steal just one kiss. A moment later they arrived at the library.
“Got some urgent reading to do, huh?” Gabe asked sarcastically.
“Shut up,” Sophie giggled and pulled Gabe inside. “Just follow me.”
He gave chase as she darted between the rows of books, until they came to the back of the massive room, a small stone staircase that was hidden away between two enormous ceiling high book cases before them.
Sophie hopped down the half flight of stone steps and came to rest on the small landing at the base, an old wooden staring back at them. She pulled a key from around her neck that had been hidden beneath her shirt and unlocked the door.
“Oh, aren’t we important?” Gabe asked in a mocking tone while giving an impressed look.
Sophie grinned and ducked inside the small entryway. “Watch your head,” she called behind her. Gabe bent over and followed her blindly into the tiny room. She lit a lantern nearby and motioned for Gabe to stay near. He shivered from the cold, the stones all around them were covered in moisture and he could hear dripping noises in all directions.
They made turn after turn and Gabe hoped he wouldn’t have to find his way out of this labyrinth alone. Finally coming to another door, Sophie pushed it open. Once they were both inside, he realized the ceilings were much taller in this room, allowing him to stand upright.