by Abigail Roux
Nick had been a Scout Sniper, the best in his class and, according to Ty, the best in their platoon. Snipers didn’t get far with a tremor like the one rambling its way down Nick’s arm into his fingers.
“How long’s it been this bad?” Ty asked.
Nick yanked his hand out of Ty’s grasp. “Don’t worry about it. I can still shoot fine.”
“Where’s your propranolol?” Kelly asked him. His voice had lost that angry edge for once; he’d spoken in low, soothing tones designed to put injured men at ease and convince stubborn patients to trust him.
Nick’s eyes darted back toward Liam, and he said, “It got misplaced.”
They all shifted their attention from Nick to Liam.
“I tossed it overboard,” Liam admitted. “First night on the Fiddler with him.”
“You what?” Kelly and Ty blurted almost in unison.
“Nicholas isn’t exactly a mewling kitten in the rain, gentlemen,” Liam insisted. “Once I was on the boat with him and he knew I couldn’t reach the Doc as a threat, I needed to find a weakness so I’d be able to handle him.”
“A weakness?” Kelly tilted his head toward Liam as if he hadn’t heard him correctly, and turned his body to the side like a man about to strike, offering less of a target by showing his profile. “Did you have any idea what it’d do to him to go off those meds like that?”
“I knew enough,” Liam admitted. “I certainly regret the action now that we need him and his aim, but it’s none of your concern either way. Irish and I have made our peace with it.”
Zane looked back down at Nick, who had his hands resting on his knees, his tongue pushing against his upper teeth. Even with something under his fingers, they were trembling to the point that he looked like he was shivering with cold or nerves.
“What happens if you can’t get more of the stuff?” Zane asked him.
“Nothing,” Nick answered quietly. He held up his hand to show them, palm facing the floor. There was so much movement it seemed like Nick was doing it on purpose, exaggerating it until it looked fake. “I’ve been off it for almost three weeks; this is what happens. It’s just a tremor.”
“You told me it felt like your whole body was unsteady, that your mind was trembling!” Kelly growled. “You told me before that medication, it felt like you were standing on a vibrating platform. Is that what you’re back to?”
Nick didn’t answer. He wouldn’t even meet Kelly’s eyes.
“Maybe it’s a mental thing, and you’ll be nice and cured of it by the time this all ends,” Liam said cheerfully. “Intestinal fortitude and all that rubbish.” He snapped the cylinder closed on one gun and set it aside, reaching for the next.
Kelly chucked a shoe at him, hitting him in the temple. He teetered off the edge of the couch and toppled to the ground before he could catch his balance, then shouted a curse as he bunched his fingers in the edge of the couch to pull himself up. When his head popped up again, his eyes were wide. “What the hell, mate?”
Kelly dove over the arm of the couch, tackling Liam back to the ground. “Smug son of a bitch!”
Nick and Zane both hurried to their feet, and Ty rounded the couch in time to witness a wicked uppercut that laid Liam out like a cartoon boxer. Kelly straddled him, grabbing for him again as soon as his head hit the floor, fingers tangling in Liam’s shirtfront.
“Piece of shit! Let’s take something vital to your daily functioning and toss it over the edge of the boat!” He unholstered the knife on his thigh with one hand and grabbed the shell of Liam’s ear with the other.
Ty and Nick shouted in alarm and lurched into action. They each grabbed one of Kelly’s arms so he couldn’t cut off Liam’s ears. Or any other protruding parts. Kelly fought against their hold, nearly slipping through Ty’s grasp before they were able to yank him off-balance and throw him to his back.
Nick held his forearm with both hands, wrapping his elbow around it to keep it immobile. Kelly was still clutching the knife, though.
“A little help here, Zane!” Ty said through gritted teeth as they struggled to keep Kelly from slipping past them. He was smaller than both of them, but he was wiry and trained and determined.
Zane stood a few feet away, arms crossed. “If I help anyone here, I’ll be helping Doc loose so he can finish what he was doing.”
Nick finally sank his teeth into Kelly’s wrist, not breaking skin but biting just hard enough to warn. Kelly dropped his knife, but his usually placid eyes were blazing when he glowered up at Nick. “Why do you keep defending him?” he shouted. “Don’t you fucking see what he did to you?”
Ty was on his hands and knees, breathing hard. Zane felt more than saw Owen and Digger come running in, both armed and ready for whatever mess had started. Ty held his hand out to stop them from coming closer.
“He isolated you, exploited your weaknesses!” Kelly was shouting “Exacerbated them by taking away the few things that you actually allow yourself to help you, and then he tried to convince you that he was the one who needed your help!”
“Doc, calm down!” Nick yelled, trying and failing to raise his voice over Kelly’s ranting.
“Fuck you!” Kelly tore his hands away from Nick and Ty’s holds and skittered backward. He lashed out with his foot, landing a solid kick at Liam’s shin before he rolled to his stomach and pushed to his feet. He gave Nick a shove, snarling, trapping Nick’s legs against the arm of the couch.
“Doc,” Ty tried, resting his hand on Kelly’s shoulder.
Kelly shrugged him off, pointing his finger at Nick’s chest. “He stole you from us,” he hissed. His expression crumpled, his breath catching when he inhaled. The loss and betrayal in his eyes was infinitely sadder when he spoke again. “He stole you from me. And the only thing you can do is sit there and defend him.”
Nick was breathing harder, his lips parted as he stared at Kelly. He touched Kelly’s arm, but Kelly slapped his hand away.
“I know how that tremor made you feel,” Kelly whispered. “You told me once, remember? Back when you still trusted me. You told me once.”
“Kelly,” Nick repeated. He looked around at all of them, then at Liam on the floor. He seemed at a loss for how to handle Kelly when he was filled with what frankly seemed like savage rage and sorrow. Everyone seemed at a loss.
Kelly shoved away from them and stormed toward the doorway. Owen and Digger parted like the Red Sea to get out of his way. Liam groaned on the floor, holding his head.
Nick watched Kelly leave, a longing in his eyes that Zane hadn’t known Nick was capable of feeling. But then to Zane’s shock, Nick turned and reached down, offering his hand to help Liam off the floor.
Liam climbed to his feet, using Nick’s arm and holding his jaw. “God damn.”
A second later Zane saw a flash of movement and shouted a warning. Ty flinched as a knife flew past his ear and embedded itself in the wall next to Liam’s head.
“Jesus Christ!” Liam shouted, stumbling back into Ty and flailing a little.
Nick ducked and covered his head, one hand reaching for the knife at his belt. Ty whirled around, hand on his gun.
It was Kelly at the door, though, chest heaving.
“Doc, what the fuck?” Ty cried.
Kelly wasn’t looking at him. Or even at Liam. He was staring at Nick, his changeable eyes blazing. “Next time, I won’t miss him,” Kelly promised, then turned and left them.
More than a day after being cooped up with Sidewinder, Zane sat with his hands over his eyes, listening to them argue over dinner. Dinner! They argued over everything!
“Shut up!” he finally hollered.
Everyone froze, staring at him in shock.
“Pizza,” Zane grunted, pointing at Owen. “Order it. Just cheese. Now.”
The silence lasted a few more seconds. Then without a word, Owen shrugged and took out his phone to search for a pizza place, and the others all dispersed to go do whatever the hell Sidewinder did when they weren’t trying to k
ill each other. How the hell had these men all lived in one house for years?
Ty patted Zane on the shoulder as he passed by, giving him a wink. Zane had to just roll his eyes. No fucking wonder the Marines had ousted these yahoos.
He was still sitting on the couch when he saw Kelly standing at the end of the hallway, his head cocked like he was listening to something. Then Kelly moved down the hall, out of sight. Zane glanced around, but no one else was around. He hefted himself off the plastic-covered couch and followed the man, peeking around the corner to see what he was doing.
Kelly was standing at one of the closed bedroom doors with his hand on his gun. Zane cocked his head just like Kelly had done, listening. He could hear voices now.
He’d seen Nick disappear this way earlier, slinking off with a shake of his head as the others argued about dinner. And Zane knew who else had missed the dinner discussion. Liam Bell. That meant Liam and Nick were in there talking. What would they have to talk about that they needed to sneak away like this?
Zane moved closer, and the creak of a floorboard under his boot had Kelly tensing and turning toward him, his gun halfway out of the holster. Zane held up his hands, then put a finger to his lips. He moved closer, and stood by Kelly’s side as they listened to the conversation within.
It made Zane’s fucking blood boil to hear Liam’s quiet, soothing tones as he spoke to Nick. How much fucking with Nick’s head had he managed before Nick had knocked on their door? What the hell was Liam’s endgame here, anyway? He seemed to be aiming at simply driving Nick insane. The hell of it was, it was working.
The door was cracked, and Zane could just barely distinguish their words. Liam seemed to be trying to convince Nick that his friends would never forgive him. Kelly met Zane’s eyes, and Zane wished he could comfort the man somehow. He looked so angry and distraught. Zane wondered if Kelly might actually kill Liam in his sleep soon, just to get his prongs out of Nick.
Zane might, if Kelly didn’t.
Kelly angled his chin toward Zane, indicating he should move away. Zane ducked into the bedroom across the hall to watch, and Kelly silently eased the door open.
Inside, Nick was crouching with his back to the wall, even though there was plenty of furniture to sit on. Liam was on the edge of the bed, his back turned to them. Nick was gazing up at him, listening intently to whatever Liam had been saying.
Liam’s final words reached Zane’s ears. “It’s not something you go back from, mate.”
“It’s not something you come back from,” Nick snarled. “I’m not you.”
“You could be,” Liam said. “Lay your head down every night with no guilt on your conscience. You’d kill for that alone.”
“The killing would only add more guilt,” Kelly said. He sounded so livid, it made the hair on Zane’s neck stand on end.
Nick looked up sharply, meeting Kelly’s eyes with a distinct lack of emotion.
Liam, though, gave Kelly a crooked smirk over his shoulder and stood. He patted Nick on the head as he stepped past him. “I see it’s time for the devil on the other shoulder,” he drawled as he strolled past Kelly. “Don’t put him up wet, hmm?”
Zane backed further into the dark bedroom as Liam went past.
Kelly took a step to go after Liam, but Nick barked, “Doc!”
It halted Kelly in his tracks, and he met Zane’s eyes, nostrils flaring, eyes blazing. He finally turned back to Nick, shoving the door closed so Zane couldn’t see or hear anymore.
Zane peeked around the corner to make sure no one was at the end of the hallway, then ducked across the hall, stretching himself out flat and peering through the gap under the bottom of the cheaply hung door. He could see Nick still sitting there, and Kelly’s feet as he stood near the door, spread wide in a combative stance.
“I won’t lose you to him. I won’t,” Kelly growled. “I refuse to see you go this way.”
“Kels,” Nick said tiredly.
Nick didn’t make a move to stand or even get off the floor. He just sighed and hung his head, rubbing at his eyes.
Kelly moved toward him, dropping to his knees at Nick’s feet. He gripped both Nick’s ankles. Zane could still see Nick’s face thanks to the extreme low angle of peeking under the door like a creeper.
“You know what he’s trying to do,” Kelly hissed.
“Of course I know what he’s trying to do,” Nick grunted, his green eyes flashing angrily. “You really think less than a month with him and I’d be cracking? Think, Doc. Use your head instead of your heart for once.”
Kelly sat back, shoulders slumping. He was silent in the face of the anger roiling behind Nick’s eyes. “You’re playing his game,” he realized, keeping his voice low. “You’re trying to make him think he’s winning.”
Nick’s expression softened. “I’ve gotten more information out of him in the last three weeks than we did in a year of working with him. He’s trying to recruit me. He’s scared. He thinks he’ll be flying solo if he lives through this, which means he’s either lying about wanting to clear his name with the NIA, or he knows his case is too hopeless for redemption and he pulled us in for another reason.”
“What do you think?” Kelly asked.
“At first, I thought he was just after the money. But now . . . I think he’s square with us. I think he was just desperate for someone to trust.”
Kelly was beginning to tremble, but Zane wasn’t sure if it was from relief that Nick wasn’t as broken as they’d all thought, or from dread. “You . . . What do we do?”
“Just leave him be. Try to trust him like we used to.”
Kelly was silent, his shoulders rigid. Zane took that moment to check his surroundings again, because he had absolutely no story for why he was on the ground in the hall watching Nick and Kelly talk if someone found him. When he peered under the door again, Nick had his hands on Kelly’s shoulders.
He shook Kelly gently. “Can you lie about trusting him?”
“You know I’m no good at lying.”
A smile tugged at Nick’s lips. “Yeah, I heard about the IT thing.”
Kelly snorted, but the laugh that followed was watery at best. He didn’t say anything else; they just looked at each other for several seconds, communicating in that silent way Zane had observed. All of Sidewinder seemed to be able to do it, but Ty and Nick, and then Nick and Kelly, they seemed to be best at it.
“Just . . . will you give me back the man I know? Come back to me?” Kelly asked.
Nick nodded, moving his hands to Kelly’s face. “I never left.”
Kelly shook his head.
“I love you,” Nick said. “You can’t lose me. Not to him. Not to this.”
Kelly kissed Nick, then threw himself on the floor beside him, leaning against the wall with him. They sat side by side, silent, their fingers curling together.
Kelly finally tilted his head, frowning at the door. “What’s down, Garrett?”
Zane planted his face into the hardwood floor, blushing hotly. “Nothing. Just . . . lying around,” he answered, and Nick and Kelly chuckled at him from within the bedroom.
Zane sat on the front porch. He’d been caught spying, and though Nick and Kelly had laughed it off, he still felt awful about it. He’d expected to find himself eavesdropping on a fight, not a tender moment. He was still blushing even as he held his phone to his ear, listening to Clancy report on what they’d found in Switzerland.
So far they were striking out because they had absolutely no authority there, and opening up international channels would be impossible without tipping off the entire intelligence community to what they were doing. Zane told her about the numbered account and missing code word, and with the information her team had already culled, it only took her a few minutes to find the right bank and even the right contact at the branch they needed to visit. Clancy was good at her job, Zane had always known that. He was more impressed than ever with her now, though. He knew whose name he’d be submitting to replace him when he
left his post.
Without the code word, though, even Clancy was at a dead end. She insisted they had to find those three missing pieces. They needed them, and for the first time Zane wasn’t sure if they’d be able to get to the money at all.
What the hell were they going to do if they had nothing to trade the CIA for their freedom? The Company had made it quite clear to Ty that he was only useful if he brought that stolen money in, despite the fact that they probably had enough information to prove they were innocent. They even had enough information to give to the CIA and tell them to figure it the fuck out on their own. But without the money, there was no guarantee the CIA wouldn’t burn them. And if they’d learned one thing over the years of dealing with men like Randall Jonas and Richard Burns, it was that they couldn’t trust anyone.
What the hell were they going to do?
He thanked Clancy and hung up, taking a deep breath of the cold night.
The creak of a floorboard behind him was the only indication he was no longer alone. Ty sank to the step beside him.
“Bad news?” Ty asked softly.
“We need those missing pieces. Without them, we’re dead in the water. We may as well start figuring out which alphabet agency we want to kill us.”
Ty nodded and sighed. “We’ll powwow one more time, see if we can’t brainstorm something new. And we still have Cross and Preston out there, they may come up with a miracle. If nothing else . . . we’ll head to Miami. If we can’t bring the CIA money, maybe we can bring them de la Vega as the next best option. He’d be a huge win for whatever agency we take him to. It might work.”
Zane nodded, watching Ty sympathetically. Ty’s mind must have been reeling if he thought they had a snowball’s chance in Hell at getting to de la Vega.
Ty glanced at him, smiling gently. “Nick told me you were pulling a Peeping Tom in there. What’s wrong, love life not exciting enough anymore?” he teased, pushing his shoulder into Zane’s.
Zane blushed, ducking his head. “I thought they were going to fight.”
“It’s Nick and Kelly. They never fight.”