by Abra Ebner
“He does have enemies, but the Vatican isn’t one of them.”
I tilted my head. “Really? I would figure they’d be the first.”
Max was still amused by my confusion. “Not if they’re the one sending him a paycheck.”
I gasped. “They hired him?”
Max eyed me as though to say that it was a secret. I grinned, enthralled to learn something so covert. He turned into my driveway, and I realized I hadn’t even told him where I lived.
“Um… how did you—”
“It’s a small town,” he cut me off.
I nodded. My mother opened the door, noticing the unfamiliar car. I exhaled and bowed my head, wondering if she had been standing there behind the door for the sole purpose of embarrassing me. “Great.”
Max shut off the engine. “What’s wrong?”
I grumbled. “Emily. She’s not with me, so my mother is going to wonder where she is, who you are, and why I’m not riding with Wes.” I glanced at his tattoos, knowing that was an added factor, but saying it out loud was rude.
Max laughed lightly, looking at his arms as I was. “Then introduce me. I’ll explain it to her myself.” His comment sounded like a challenge, as though he were used to the disapproval of a mother.
I looked at him with alarm, knowing that it wasn’t the disapproval I was particularly scared of. What scared me most was that if I introduced a boy to my mother, I’d never hear the end of it. She wanted me to date, and at this point, I don’t think she cared who. I know his tattoos made me nervous, but after learning about his family, he was a literal shoo-in. Part of the reason why I’d avoided boys was in order to avoid hearing from her. You’d think that considering my mother’s past, and the age at which she’d had me, that she would lock me in a closet and tell me that boys were a product of the devil, but that was hardly the case.
“Come on, introduce me,” he urged.
His blue eyes searched mine, his face turned to reveal the dimple on his left cheek. I couldn’t resist him.
Emily:
“Wes. You—I think you just…” I couldn’t say it. I reached toward one of the feathers on the seat beside me, picking it up and holding it in my hand. It was still warm, still a part of Wes.
He exhaled, his hands shaking as they rested on the blanket covering his lap. “Em, I know what you’re going to say and—”
“How long has this been going on?” I pressed him for answers.
“This has never happened before. I’ll tell you that.” His expression was so earnest, that I had to believe him.
Wes rubbed his hands in his lap, the blanket barely covering his legs. His clothes were in a pile on the floor, but he hadn’t yet bothered to put them back on. I couldn’t help but stare at his chest. He was much stronger than he used to be, and it only made me like him more.
“It has to be magick, Wes.”
There—I said it. I’d listened to my sister drone on and on about magick and mythology. It was her obsession, and it was part of what added to Jane’s nerdy personality. At the same time, though, the book I’d found in the attic made me believe it myself—not to mention my own talent.
Wes stared at me for a moment, and then nodded. “Yeah. Magick. Whatever, Em. You’re starting to sound like your sister.” He laughed.
My eyes rolled impulsively. “What else can it be, Wes?” I leaned forward, feeling the passion in my voice.
His smile faded and I knew he was considering it. What proof did he need? He had just turned into a raven!
“Well…” Wes didn’t want to say it. He paused, his face changing to one of fear. “Don’t tell Jane.”
I laughed, but soon the mood changed as the thoughts in his head grew frantic. “Does she know about what’s been going on?” I asked.
Wes continued to play with his hands in his lap, the answer reaching his thoughts before it reached his lips. “Only about the pain, but clearly, Jane doesn’t know about this part. I don’t think I want her to know.” There was battle ensuing in his mind, wondering if telling Jane was worth it. My sister took him for granted. Wes had tried to confide in her, to find comfort where Jane didn’t grant him any. He looked up at me. “Thank you, Emily. I never thought that—”
“That I could be normal?” I finished his thought for him. No one ever saw me as a real person, but underneath it all, I was. I needed to be loved just like anyone else.
Wes laughed. “Yeah. I guess you could say that. I always though that you were just—”
“Well, you were always right. I’m not normal, but I am a real person.” I smiled. “But like I said before, when I saved you from class. I heard you… Correction…” I searched for the right words. “I hear you.” I tapped my head. “Wes, I hear voices all the time, thoughts and images. Like right this moment—I know you’re worried that I’d heard the things you thought when remarking about me earlier.” I blushed, unable to look him in the eye. It was one thing to secretly know what Wes thought of me, it was another to admit that I’d heard them.
“You could hear me?” We were both blushing now, and the red that was dotting his cheek bones gave him a vulnerable hue that contrasted with his admittedly beefy physique. “You heard me even when I was—that thing?”
I nodded gravely.
“Is that why you always finish people’s sentences?”
I laughed, noticing the intrigued look on his face. “I suppose, though I don’t always realize I’m doing that.”
Wes leaned back against the seat and we sat for a moment, saying nothing. I looked at the old house, tracing the rails and lavish design. The ravens had gone now, and the forest was silent.
Wes laughed suddenly, breaking the silence. “We’re all a bit screwed up, aren’t we?”
I laughed in return, finding there was no other way to accept what was happening. “But why? What is it?”
Wes shrugged. I settled in my seat, finally feeling comfortable and no longer fearing another strange occurrence—he seemed to be over it. I searched for the keys, finding them on the floor and placing them in the ignition. I started the engine and placed my hand on the shifter. Wes placed his hand on mine, stopping me.
I froze and looked up at him. His hand was warm, his fingers resting over my own. I swallowed, the immediate connection to his thoughts too personal. I pulled my hand out from under his. Wes was frightened and I could also see it in his eyes. I searched his face, my body screaming to be near him, but I knew it wasn’t right. He loved Jane, but inside his thoughts, it wasn’t Jane he had been thinking of; it was me.
“Our secret, okay?” He said, his eyes locked on mine. The fear in his face had lightened. “I like that idea,” he added.
His golden eyes gave away his emotion, despite my ability to hear his thoughts. He also knew what he had forced me to see in those eyes—fear, vulnerability, and uncertainty—but his outward appearance remained confident.
Wes’s hand remained on the shifter, preventing me from changing gears. I was having a hard time looking him in the eyes, but he didn’t stop staring. I was afraid what would happen if I let someone in, if I let them see me. But this was Wes! He was the one person I’d always wanted to know who I was. I bit back my fears and allowed myself to look at him, despite how hard it was for me to absorb the fact that his thoughts were still consumed with me—my face, my hair, my eyes, and best of all, my lips.
I heard his breathing quicken. He leaned toward me, but I stayed frozen, listening to the leather squeak under his shifting weight. He touched my face with a warm, shaking hand, brushing a strand of my auburn hair from my eyes.
“You shouldn’t hide yourself, Em.” His thumb smudged across my lower lip, removing some of my lipstick. “I want to know who you really are. You’re always hiding, and I don’t understand why.”
I shut my eyes, my breathing shallow. “I’m afraid, Wes. Afraid of the things that are happening to me, and I’m afraid that no one will understand.”
“I understand,” he protested.
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br /> I felt tears forming. “It’s hard to be me, especially when my older sister is the perfect child. Jane’s smart, and—”
“You are smart, Em. Why else would you be in that math class with me? You have to let yourself see that you are beautiful, and different from your sister. It’s good to be unique.” His hand grazed down my neck, resting on my collar bone.
I was only smart because I knew the answers. All I had to do was listen in on someone else’s thoughts, stealing their explanations. “But you like Jane. Everybody likes Jane,” I remarked. I knew in this moment that was a lie, but I couldn’t get past the fact that he’d think of her eventually.
His eyes looked frustrated. “That’s not true.”
He hooked his hand behind my neck and pulled me close. He pressed his lips to mine and my chest rose in shock. His kiss was soft at first, but as the emotion grew, and his lips wrapped around mine, things became more intense. His other hand went to my side, pulling me closer, though the shifter got in the way. We pressed together, heat rising between us. The intensity grew until I was nearly lost inside his erotic thoughts. I lifted my hand and rested it on his chest, urging him to slow down. He stopped, our foreheads touching as we stared into each other’s eyes, breathing hard.
My vision was flooded with the gold of his irises—a color I’d dreamed about almost every night. Years I’d spent pretending that the thoughts he’d had for Jane were actually thoughts of me. Now, they really were.
Wes leaned back against the seat. “Sorry,” he whispered, bowing his head.
I was too shocked to move as I tried to assemble the pieces of what had just happened.
“Sorry, I just…” He apologized again.
I tried to smile away the embarrassment, hearing his thoughts on the same matter. “You don’t need to explain, Wes.” I sat back against my seat, gripping the wheel. “I won’t say anything to Jane.”
He looked at me then, his eyes guilty and his thoughts fearing he’d upset me. “No, that’s not it, Em.”
I licked my lips, recuperating as I grabbed the shifter once more. I was used to men that only saw me as easy, but Wes was different—he had stopped. I knew, however, that a small part of him had stopped because of Jane. Jealously pulsed through my blood. Why was it she could destroy him as she did, lure him in and ruin him for anyone else to love? The car was still rumbling with life, and I threw the gear into reverse with a pitch of resentment.
Jane would always be in my way. It was a fact of life.
Max:
What Jane didn’t know was that I’d been to her house before—many times. Since the day I saved her from the wreck, I’d visited at least once a year. I felt like I knew Jane so well, but I needed to remember that she didn’t know me at all.
I’d been there for every dream, and because of this, I knew every corner of her imagination, and every one of her fears. It was this world of hers that made me love her only more. I could be there for her, though she’d never known that. Since I’d saved her, I was her angel. We were connected, and there was nothing that could separate that. I would never lose her again. I heard her thoughts and hers alone. I felt her heart, and I knew every emotion, especially her trepidation.
Naturally, feeling all this had its downside, chiefly pertaining to her friend Wes. I knew the nature of their friendship, and the level to which they had taken the relationship to this summer. It would be a lie to say that it hadn’t bothered me, but what could I do? In part, this was the main reason why I was here. I was jealous of the emotion Jane had shared with him, because I wanted to be that man for her. At the very least, I wanted the chance.
We walked up onto the porch as Jane’s mom stood with the door ajar. She had a light smile on her face—one I could tell was subduing enthusiasm.
“Mom, this is Max Gordon. He’s new at school.” Jane kept her head down, as though afraid and embarrassed at the same time.
“Hi, Max Gordon. I’m Sarah.” She looked impressed by me—impressed by my last name.
I bowed my head and offered my hand for a shake. “Sarah, good to meet you.”
Sarah quickly turned her attention back to Jane, giving her a less than discreet wink, her mouth silently forming the syllables of my last name. Sarah then looked toward the driveway. Her grin faded quickly, replaced with a look of confusion. “Where’s your sister?”
I felt Jane’s heart begin to race.
I stepped in and answered for her. “She’s with Wes, ma’am.”
Sarah began to laugh. “Oh, please, Max…” she spoke between breaths. “Don’t call me ma’am. It makes me feel old.”
I grinned, nodding in agreement. “Alright, Sarah.”
Sarah nodded, and then changed the subject back to Emily. “With Wes?” She had wide eyes, looking to Jane for an explanation.
Jane shrugged. “Yeah, so?”
I felt a strange sense of jealousy from Jane, and I looked at her, feeling a ping of jealousy myself. Initially she had seemed delighted by the fact that Emily was with Wes, but her thoughts on the drive home had slowly grown sour. My smile faded.
What if Jane didn’t like me?
I’d thought about it, but figured since Jane didn’t truly seem to love Wes, then it would be easy for me to step in. I was certain of the fact that our souls were connected, but what if Jane didn’t understand it yet? I’d had close to a century to figure it, dwelling alone with the empty feeling in my soul, a gaping hole that Jane’s love could soon fill. Jane, on the other hand, she’s only had a few stolen moments with me, only a small inkling of what our connection could be.
Jane smiled at me with bashful eyes. I watched her lashes flutter, my own heart begging to beat, though it couldn’t.
“Oh, Jane, don’t look so demure! I’m relieved to see Emily engaging with some healthy company for once.” She patted Jane on the arm. Jane looked annoyed. “Well, Max. Won’t you come in?” Sarah opened the door for me, ushering me in with her hand.
Jane’s frustration changed, and her thoughts returned to thoughts of me.
“Sure,” I agreed politely.
I heard the distant rumble of a familiar car, and looked in the direction of the sound. Wes’s Camaro was nearing, but still about a mile away. He was bound to get in my way.
“Max, what is it?” Jane noticed my attention falter.
I looked back at her. “Oh, nothing.” I walked into the house.
Wes:
I hadn’t said another word to Emily. I was too shocked by everything that had unraveled in the past hour. Why had I kissed her? Was it the adrenaline of what had happened? Or the fact that Emily seemed to understand? Surely I’d just ruined any chance I would ever have with Jane. Emily would tell her. I knew it.
I watched her from the corner of my eye, her hands tight on the wheel. She was tense, and I wondered what exactly she could be thinking about. Then I realized that she was probably thinking about what I was, and hearing every bit of my confusion.
I cursed to myself. She can hear you, idiot!
I stopped thinking all together, listening instead. Her heart was beating hard, the sound echoing in my head as though my senses had been heightened by what had happened. I could feel the breath passing her lips, the hair on my arms alert and standing on end.
A part of me wanted to deny the sudden comfort I felt with Emily, and the fact that in the end, she understood, but at the same time, I had to admit that it felt good. If Jane had been with me in this moment, it would have all gone wrong. Jane is used to being the victim, and as such, she has no room in her heart to understand my troubles. It was always about Jane and her father’s death, as though no one else in history had ever suffered the same loss. It was always about her, and never me.
Emily, though, she had room. She seemed to care despite the way I’d always viewed her. Regardless of the fact that it seemed Emily had her own issues, she was also making room for mine. There was something about the way she wanted to share the burden that made all the difference. There was
a feeling of us here, and I liked it.
I swallowed, suddenly afraid of what I was and what I felt. It was so sudden, and yet, it was as though I’d known it would happen. As soon as I saw the bird, I’d felt its heart, its whole body, and then I was in it—just like that. Somehow, the thing had become me, its presence enough to affect my every muscle, but it felt so right.
All the pain I’d suffered had been like an itch I couldn’t scratch. A part of me wanted to ignore what had happened, but I hadn’t felt this good in a long time. I began to wonder if this power was something I could control, or if it was something that would come at anytime.
What was I? And why was it happening? Clearly I couldn’t try to hide it away. Questions began to surface inside me, questions about my parents, my past, and my future.
I leaned my head into my hand, exhaling hard. I heard Emily adjust in her seat, her heart still racing. I lifted my head from my hands, looking at Emily. Her heart beating? I knew she saw me staring, but she refused to look at me. I heard her heart beat faster, the blood in her veins pulsing. Why could I hear this? I tried to shake the sound away but I couldn’t.
Emily glanced at me then. “Are you alright?” Her voice cracked. I’d never heard her sound that way—afraid.
“Yeah…” I thought to lie, but who was I kidding? She knew regardless, and was only asking me because that’s what you’re supposed to do. “I mean, well, no.”
She furrowed her brows. “No? Is it happening again?”
I shook my head. “It’s nothing bad, no. It’s just, my hearing is so intense. Your heart beat… it’s…”
Emily looked aghast. “My heart?”
“Yeah, Em. It’s just… so loud.” It felt strange to say her name now, as though it had new meaning—Fear. Friendship. Love.