by J. D. Oliva
"Pleasure to meet you, Roscoe," she said.
"Absolutely, Miss Burk," he said. "Now, if you don't mind, we'd love the grand tour!"
"Step right this way. Now, you've got to keep this in mind, we've only got one room really finished. It's only September and we're kind of short-staffed."
Leah led them into the first room, the one the customer would enter immediately after buying a ticket. It was a complete rip-off of a scene from Texas Chainsaw. A female mannequin was handcuffed to the dinner table with the stuffed psycho family abound. There were even lifeless mannequins, covered in bad-looking, fake blood. The whole thing was so clichéd.
"This sucks," Bo said.
"Y'all are on your best behavior. You hear?" Roscoe snapped back.
"The whole thing is kinda cornball," Kyra added.
They weren't wrong, but the last thing Leah wanted was to screw this deal up. She needed it.
"I said best behavior," Roscoe said, annunciating every word.
Roscoe had no intention of screwing up this deal either. The Family had a quick treat yesterday and were able to pull twenty grand out of the guy's bank account. It was nice, but he knew it wouldn't be enough to hold them over. The food, not the money. He damn well knew that would be plenty of money, especially considering the Burk woman's situation. If she was looking for more, he'd walk away. They were getting desperate for food, but that didn't mean he had to become a bad businessman. There was crazy and then there was stupid, and Roscoe was far from stupid.
When Leah Burk got out of her car, which he could tell was a rental, he almost blew their cover. He recognized her from the car accident. The coincidence scared him. What were the odds? He was ready to bail and run out of town, but when she didn't even flinch at his appearance, he knew she didn't recognize him. Maybe she wasn't that observant. Maybe this deal was going to be easier than he thought. But if he did buy this place, it was going to need a make-over. Sure it was going to be trap designed to lure children to their death, but it had to be at least a good-looking deathtrap. You've got to take some pride in your work.
"Boo!!!" A man wearing a paintball mask jumped out and screamed.
The three of them looked at each other and shrugged.
"Yep. Cornball," Bo said.
The man in the paintball mask stopped and pointed his index finger behind them. In unison, the Slaters turned around and saw a dark tunnel with lights spinning inside. It looked like a vortex had ripped open in the middle of this old building. Their attitude immediately changed.
"Well, that's pretty badass," Bo said.
"Come on," Roscoe said.
The three of them walked through the spiraling vortex, bombarded by light on all sides. It looked a little too familiar and for a moment, they forgot that this was nothing more than black fabric, paint, and some basic Christmas lights. It was an impressive, almost nauseating display. Roscoe liked the showmanship of it all, especially setting it up with a tired cliché. This was certainly something he was planning on keeping if they made the purchase.
They stepped out of the vortex and found themselves in a room with pulsating strobe lights and blaring heavy metal music. The music and lights made it hard for them to see what else was in that room. Roscoe saw a small, steel-cage and hanging from their legs on the very top bar, was a person in a misshapen ape mask. At first, it just swung back and forth, until it noticed them. With remarkable agility, it hopped from bar to bar, like a monkey, all while eying the three of them. It didn't seem human. Kyra cowered behind Roscoe, not wanting to look the Monkey-man in the eyes. She didn't see the second Monkey-man slowly creep up over her shoulder. It was far too loud to hear him breathing, but eventually she did feel the back-side of her neck moisten from the second Monkey-man's hot breath. She turned and found him behind her and screamed out. Roscoe instinctively reached into his coat pocket and gripped his Bowie knife, but then came to his senses and kept it sheathed. It was just a game.
Bo couldn't stop laughing. This kind of chaos was right up his alley. Roscoe knew that Bo already wanted to be one of the Monkeys. He didn't notice the first Monkey-man was now right behind him, hanging upside down, Spider-man-style. Bo turned back and jumped into the air.
This place was perfect and Roscoe knew it. The lights, the music, the masks, it was mayhem. But it was controlled. They knew these were locals, talented locals, but just regular people. There was no real danger, though he had to admit, he was momentarily unnerved. Roscoe didn't get scared. But it was still all very safe. He never questioned whether or not anything was going to happen to him in there. The same way no one who walked through those halls would ever question whether or not anything could happen to them. At least, not until the Family got involved.
He looked at the cage and started imagining what he could do with it, when he noticed something that seemed set back far in the distance. How big was this room? It was a man, squatting. He was wearing another mask. Roscoe assumed it was a Monkey mask but couldn't be sure. As the lights continued to pulsate, the man seemed to move from behind the cage to inside the cage to beyond the cage with each pulsation. But his body never moved. It just stayed in place, moving closer to Roscoe. With the final pulse, the creature was directly in front of him, staring him in the eye. It wasn't a monkey. It was one of them. One of his people. It screamed their cry in his face. After all these years, they finally found him. Roscoe reached back into his pocket and took hold of the grip. He wasn't leaving without a fight. Then the pulsation stopped, and the doors opened. It was gone. So were all the Monkey-men. Roscoe knew what he saw.
Of course that was the point of this room. It was a place where the senses were bombarded with light and sound. The brain shuts down, and the imagination takes control. That's what it had to be. There weren't any mirrors. They couldn't find him. He was positive. He had to be.
"Well, what do you think?" Leah said coming through the door.
Roscoe bobbed his head for a moment, collecting his thoughts.
"If you'd like, I could show you the Hell of Mirrors," Leah added.
"No, no," Roscoe said. "That won't be necessary."
"I guess that means--"
Roscoe watched her stumble around waiting to see what he was going to say. He always loved watching them struggle, of course this was a different kind of struggle. Still fun though.
"I'll give you fifteen grand," he said with a slithery smile.
XIX
"Do we seriously have to do this?" Read the text message.
Cody grabbed his phone and furiously tapped on the glass screen.
"Just come up the stairs," he wrote before hitting send.
A minute later, Nick Johnson popped his head through the floorboard entrance of the Burk family treehouse. He scanned the room and shrugged his shoulders.
"What's with the super-secret tree-fort meeting?" He asked.
"It's private."
Nick finally pulled himself into the treehouse that Mike Burk built ten years earlier. It was the place where the boys had their first outdoor adventures with their dad. It was where they would camp out together on those cool Minnesota summer nights. It's also where Cody stayed the first three nights after Mike's death. Connor hadn't been up there in years. It was the perfect location for what Cody had in mind.
"Why do we need to be in private?" Nick asked.
“We got a big problem. Tyler Tomczak."
"That ain't my problem. My name's Paul, and that's between y'all," Nick said.
"Well, Paul, it's all of our problem. Or did you forget about what Tyler did to you in the lunch room last year?”
"We're talking about the time he pulled Nick's pants down in the lunch room, right?" Asked a female voice coming from the floor entrance.
The boys turned to find Abi making her way through the door.
"Great, now she's here too! My conversion to Dweebilism is near complete," Nick said, making an unfunny joke.
"Resistance is futile," Abi added.
Cody looked
over to Nick and said, "She's the only one willing to help. Everyone else is too scared."
Nick threw his hands up into the air and said, "Do you blame them? You're gonna get pummeled!"
“I don't know if you missed it, but I already got pummeled. I've been pummeled by my big brother since I was two and now that I'm bigger than him he's gotta get his idiot friends to do it for him. If we don't do something now, it's only gonna get worse when we get to high school. That stupid piece of shit is just gonna keep pushing us around and making us feel like garbage. I'm sick of his bullshit. I'm done, and I'm gonna do something about it," Cody said.
"Is that what you want? Just another fight?" Nick asked.
"Fight? You think this about a fight? I don't wanna fight him. I wanna humiliate him. I wanna watch him cry. I want him so embarrassed that he'll never be able to look at me like that ever again," Cody said.
Abi and Nick both raised an eyebrow and turned toward each other.
"We're not just talking about Tyler anymore, are we?" Abi asked.
They knew what Cody meant, but nobody said anything until Nick broke the uncomfortable moment.
"All right, what's the plan, Captain Crunch?"
Captain Crunch was the nickname Joey Garcia gave him that summer in football. When Coach Pawley named him team captain, the team could tell how seriously Cody took the position. He started barking out orders to the others and telling them they had to follow him because he was the captain.
"Whatever you say, Captain Crunch," Joey Garcia responded.
It wasn't unfunny or insulting, but Cody took it as if Joey had broken some sacred chain of command. Cody just took himself so seriously that when he tried to fight back, he couldn't find the words. This made the nickname all the more hilarious to the team. Being called Captain Crunch instantly diffused any situation.
"I don't know. That's why I asked her to come," Cody said meekly.
"You guys are so clueless," Abi said.
Abi opened her backpack and pulled out a large book. She opened it and unfolded a tapestry that more than tripled the original pamphlet's size. The boys gathered around the table and shocked to see that she brought a map of the city of Hawk Hallow. It was the first time either of them had seen a paper map.
"Tyler Tomczak and the Legion of Dorks spent last Halloween egging cars and trick-or-treaters around Town Square," she said pointing toward downtown.
"They got you didn't they?" Nick asked with a smirk.
"Shut up," she said. "I'm willing to bet there isn't an original idea between the five of them, so it's reason to think they'll probably be in the exact same place."
"And then what?" Nick asked.
Again, they were all silent. Nick's new job was apparently to ask questions, while Cody was still reeling from the Captain Crunch remark.
"We draw them in with a distraction," Abi spoke up. "So that they're all in one place, and then we turn it on them. But not just eggs, anything we can get our hands on. No matter how gross!"
"Interesting, but then what? Just sit back and wait for our beating?" Nick asked again. "Our beating, I should say. It's not like they're actually gonna hit a girl."
Abi looked to the floor. Cody looked Nick in the eye and slowly shook his head, as if to say, "Shut up."
"No," Abi paused for dramatic effect. "Thermopylae!"
Nick and Cody sat there staring at her, confused. Clearly, it didn't have the effect she wanted.
"Is that some kinda Muslim thing?" Nick asked again.
"No, the Battle of Thermopylae," Abi said.
Again, no one had any idea what she was talking about.
"300?"
"Is that the movie with the all the ripped dudes?" Nick asked.
"My brother loves that movie," Cody added.
Abi shook her head. She was surrounded by idiots or, at least, cultural illiterates. They really did need her.
"Let me explain," she placed the heels of her palms together shaping them like a V. "After we strike, we all pull back and retreat together. They'll be pissed off, and follow us. Then we funnel them all into one tight place. Then we escape. They look stupid, we avoid getting physical."
They were impressed. Cody knew bringing Abi in was a good idea, but this was much better than he was expecting.
"All right. Where do we funnel them? I can't think of any place we could seriously lose them," Abi asked.
"No, there's too much that can go wrong out in the open like that," Cody said. "I like the idea though. We should get them all trapped in one place first. Then strike. Then we can get away clean. They don't even have to know it was us."
"Great idea, but how can we get them all at one place, at the same time, and make that kinda move?" Nick asked again.
"The Hallow," Cody blurted out.
"The haunted house?" Abi asked.
"Yeah, it's perfect. I know every room. There's like a hundred secret turns. We can easily lose them in there."
"Yeah, but if you know it, doesn't Connor?" Nick asked.
"No, working on the Hallow was more a thing my dad and I did together."
"I thought your mom was trying to sell it?"
"She sold it yesterday. We should all get jobs there. If he runs it like my dad did, he'll put us in charge of building one room. We design something that traps them inside."
"That's down right evil. I like it," Nick said. "Abs?"
Abi punched Nick in the arm.
"Don't call me that!" She said. "I'm in."
Cody nodded and smiled.
"So, if this works and we get away with it, what happens after?" Nick asked more sincerely.
"What do you mean?" Cody asked.
"Eventually, Tyler and them are gonna catch us. There is gonna be a fight. I don't wanna get beat up. Maybe that makes me a little bitch or whatever, but I don't wanna get hurt."
"They won't touch you. Either of you. This is my idea. This is my plan. If my brother or any of those guys come looking to fight, I'll fight 'em. I don't care if I get beat up. All I need is to see that look on his face. All I need is to see him cry. It's worth a thousand beatings."
The three of them nodded in agreement. They were ready to go to war and even though they all probably knew there was no guarantee that Cody would be the only one at the end of a beating, they were willing to follow. Crunch may have been on a cereal box, but that didn't change the fact that he was a captain.
"I just need to get back in the family business."
XX
There were rumors floating for a while that Mrs. Burk was looking to dump the Haunted Hallow. Most of the employees had been working with the Burk family for years, and a lot of the kids in town saw working at the Hallow like a rite of passage. When Mike Burk, died they all wondered what would happen to the Hallow. Everyone was surprised when Leah went ahead with running things, pretending that everything was just fine. It was obvious that she didn't have her husband's passion, but when everyone heard that Leah sold the Hallow they wondered what would happen next. They heard the name 'Roscoe Slater,' some kind of small businessman from Alabama, but they had no idea what to expect.
As the Hallow employees gathered around the old barn waiting to meet their new boss, they couldn't help but wonder what Mr. Slater had in mind. What southern-style changes was he going to push? Would they even all have jobs by the time he was finished?
A 2015 Chevy Traverse pulled up to barn. It had Minnesota plates that read: “RCHMND." The car doors opened and out stepped a man with thinning, red hair and a handlebar mustache with a tattered, gray jacket. There was little doubt in any of their minds that this was him. Behind was a young woman with dirty blonde hair and shorts that were way too short for a Minnesota fall. There was something about her that looked familiar, but she didn't act like she knew any of them. Behind her was a weasly looking teenager with long buck-teeth and a filthy poncho. Was this the wealthy family that scooped up the Hallow so quick?
"Happy Halloween, y'all!"
&
nbsp; Roscoe Slater spoke with a ton of exuberance as he walked up to the front of the barn near a makeshift podium. He was a peculiar looking man, but he carried himself with such bravado that he instantly had all of their attention.
"My name is Roscoe Slater. This here's Kyra and Bo. And as of 9:00 am Monday morning, I am the new owner of the legendary Haunted Hallow."
He paused and scanned the crowd. They still weren't sure what to make of him.
"With Halloween just about five weeks away, I know a lot of you are concerned about the Hallow's future. About your own future. I understand, you see this crazy, Southern family and y'all think to yourselves, 'who are these people?' Am I right? Well, let me tell you, I bought this place because it is literally the best haunted house I have ever seen. And yes, a lot of that has to do with the tremendous work the late Mr. Burk put into this place. I never met Mike Burk. I don't know the man nor do I know how he chose to run his business. But when my family and I walked through those hallways, we saw something. We saw something that I can honestly say I haven't felt in years. Something that shot through my veins like a bullet through butter. Something that made me feel more alive than I've felt in years. Fear. All three of us were legitimately scared and, believe me, that ain't easy. Now, Mike Burk might have been a good businessman, hell, judging by what I saw he was probably a genius. But Mike Burk wasn't in that Hallow when I walked through, at least, I hope not," he said with a smile.