"Ye are the sun of my world, Tavis MacLagan. Without ye all would be cold and dark. I love ye."
She slipped free of his arms, arms grown lax from sheer astonishment. Sholto, who was looking at his brother in obvious puzzlement, had his turn to be surprised when she pressed a brief kiss upon his mouth. She then swiftly disappeared into the keep, not wanting to wait around for any possible discussion over her impulsive admission. That, with luck, would come later.
"What did the lass say to leave ye looking as if ye have been pole-axed?"
"Naught, Sholto," Tavis replied, shaking free of his shock, yet discovering that he did not want to believe his own words. "Only sweet words to make a man fight all the harder so that the battle will end and he can be back with her. They didnae mean more than that."
"Are ye certain?" Sholto had an idea of exactly what Storm had said.
"Aye. She says such things because of what I maun face." He started toward the battlements. "That which we best get to ere it begins without us."
All was tense and quiet upon the walls of Caraidland. The men watched Sir Hugh's forces gather with an eye to guessing his strategy. Each one knew that they were weak, were up against great odds and could well lose the day. Although each knew it, they faced the knowledge bravely, prepared to fight to the last man. The bringing down of Caraidland would cost Sir Hugh dearly indeed.
Tavis's eyes were fixed upon Sir Hugh's men, but his thoughts were with Storm. He wanted her words to be true, wanted her to be bound to him in that way. It was more than the way she could heat his blood with just a look, then cool the fire in the most satisfying way he had ever known. Never had he liked so much about one woman, from the color of her eyes to the extent of her independent nature. Not since Mary had he thought of settling to one woman, of marriage and family. If Storm truly meant what she had said, was not just mouthing sweet words to give him added strength of spirit to face the battle, all that could be possible. He could feel secure in binding himself to her, for he knew that, if Storm truly loved him, he need never worry about another man.
He forced his mind to concentrate upon the battle he faced. Distraction at such a time could prove fatal. More than ever before he was reluctant to die. He had too much to live for, too much left unsaid. There had to be time left to him to speak to Storm, to speak of more than how much his body continually craved hers.
* * * * *
Sir Hugh mounted his destrier as Lady Mary looked on. As the time of battle drew near, her blood ran hot. At times she wished she were a man so that she could join in the fighting. However, she gained more than enough satisfaction from watching the fight and could be content with that. She could stand at a safe distance and savor the sight of men fighting a life and death struggle, revel in the violence and death played out before her eyes. It left her with a voracious carnal appetite and, with her husband now gone, she could be completely free to sate it as she saw fit. The need for some discretion in the past had severely curbed her creativity.
"Slaughter them to a man, Hugh," she said coldly.
Although he had been savoring that very plan, he resented her ordering him to do so. "I was just about to offer them a last chance to surrender. 'Tis customary to do so."
"Then do so. They will say nay. I know it. E'en if they say yea, should that stop you? An I have learned anything in this wretched land, 'tis that the English here feel it their Godly duty to slay the Scots. No one would fault you if that is what you fear."
"I do not care for what others think." He scowled down at her. "There are rules to follow in war, Mary. Whate'er else I may be or have become, I am a knight." He could not bring himself to offer terms of surrender and then, if they were accepted, cut down the unsuspecting.
"They are Scots. 'Tis not necessary to deal honorably with them. It seems to me that you take up or toss aside these rules as suits you. These are MacLagans, border reivers. You do not deal honorably with such scum. If you rid the world of the curse of their presence, you will only be thought a hero. None will question how it was done.
"I want them dead, Hugh. I want that ugly pile of rock razed to the ground. They are naught but a burr in my side. I grow tired of trying to shake free. They have stolen from me, and I mean to take everything from them. 'Tis a fair payment to my mind.
"Do you forget how they have injured you? Do you forget that shameful ride back into Hagaleah, all the laughter at your cost? Do you forget that they stole the fine, costly stallion you had only just gained? They also stole the mare you meant to breed, and I speak not of the four-legged ones but of Storm. Tavis MacLagan rides your mare, mayhaps e'en sets a MacLagan foal in her belly. By holding her, he also holds your fortune, holds the land you crave but have never owned. They, too, laugh at you. How much scorn must you bear before you act as you should and avenge yourself?"
"No more," he snarled. "Cease your speeches, woman. You have won your way. E'en an I must draw them from Caraidland through treachery, I will see them all dead. This day will mark the end of the arrogant, troublesome MacLagans. This land will turn red with their blood."
She smiled as he rode off. Soon the MacLagans would bother her no more. She had no doubts about who would gain the victory today. Hugh was a skilled fighter and the MacLagans were greatly out-numbered. She had spied the women upon the battlements taking the night watch and knew what that meant. What men did remain to fight for Caraidland were a weary lot with no hope of much rest unless they could defeat Sir Hugh. Her forces were well rested and alert. She wondered, as she moved to sit in her shaded cart, if the coming battle would last long enough to stir her passions. It would be disappointing, if convenient, if Caraidland fell too quickly. She hoped she could count upon the MacLagans' fighting skill and obstinacy to provide her with a satisfactory show before she claimed the victory she so craved.
* * * * *
Storm studied the women and small children gathered together in the hall. The tension as they waited for the battle to begin was almost a tangible thing. They all struggled to hide their fears and worries for their loved ones facing the army Sir Hugh drew up before Caraidland. Even the children were quiet. Storm found it a painfully familiar scene. So it was at Hagaleah before a battle. On either side of the border it seemed a woman's place was to wait and hope that her man, be he lover or kin, would return alive.
In this instance she knew the fears ran deeper than usual. This battle was at the very threshold of their home. It threatened the children, the innocent and the weak. They must now view at first hand the horror of battle, hear every sound as men tried to kill each other.
"I cannot bear it. I must stop this," she whispered, starting to rise.
Maggie grasped her by the arm and kept her seated upon the bench they shared. "Ye cannae stop this. The swords hae already been drawn and blood spilled."
"I cannot sit here and allow blood to be spilled because of me. I am not worth dying for."
"Weel, I suspicion there be a few what would argue that but, wheesht, lass, 'tis nay longer for ye alone. I am thinking it ne'er was. Oh, aye, ye are a part of it. I cannae say ye arenae. 'Tis also a battle for Caraidland, a fight agin a man who deserves tae be destroyed."
"But Caraidland could fall," she whispered. "All this could be destroyed."
"Aye. We all ken it. We hae but half our men and they are weary. We hae faced that foe afore and God has left us live. Mayhaps he'll look kindly upon us agin. We can but pray 'tis so."
"I have been praying, but it does little to still my fears."
"Lass, that man tirling at the pin doesnae mean tae stop if we let ye go. Ye ken it as weel as any o' us. We hae all heard our men talk. With sae much agin us, they would trade ye if they thought it would save us, save our bairns and women. They ken it willnae. We will still be slain if 'tis possible and so will ye, just not so quickly."
Storm shivered and closed her eyes. She knew all that Maggie had said was true. Giving her to Sir Hugh would not end the fight. She had tried to find an easy solution, a quick end to what
she knew was going to happen and a way to stop any pain or loss of life. Although she was still a bone of contention, she was no longer the whole of the reason for the battle, maybe never had been.
"He will offer a chance for surrender," she said desperately, clutching at one last hope.
"Aye, he will. 'Tis the way of it."
"But it will be refused." She sighed, for she knew that was how it would be.
"It will be. There be no honor in surrender."
"There is life."
"Do ye really think so?"
After only a moment of meeting Maggie's gaze Storm looked away. She could not bear to read the truth in the woman's eyes, could not bear to see what she already knew. It was a truth she wanted to vigorously deny but could not.
"Nay," she finally whispered. "Nay, I do not really believe that."
"Guid. Tis nay guid tae try and deceive yourself, lass. Not now. Facing the truth will gie ye the strength tae go on."
"I suppose 'tis truth that has my innards so twisted up that I fear to be ill."
"I ken the feeling weel, lassie. I e'er feel it when my Angus gies tae fight and 'tis worse now, for me bairns face the sword." She shook her head when Storm paled. "Nay, lass, 'tis not your doing. Ken this, I'll nay blame ye, ne'er blame ye, for whate'er happens. 'Tis Sir Hugh Sedgeway I will be cursing an a sword cuts down any o' mine. Him and him alane.
"Lass, we both ken that he wants all we MacLagans deid. Whate'er he offers, unless 'tis death, he'll nay mean tae keep his bargain. He but tries tae make us set down our weapons sae that he can slaughter us like sheep. We'll nay let that happen. If God means tae see us deid, we'll gie down fighting to the last unweaned bairn. Sir Hugh will find victory o'er us one hard fought for. I pray tae God that that beast is the first to die."
"There would be a blessing. I am so torn, Maggie. I have friends on either side of these walls. Some of my father's old guard follow Hugh, though they like it little. They are fighting men and must go when ordered whether they like it or not."
"I ken it. Our laird is a guid man, but he could hae been ane like Sir Hugh. My Angus would hae had tae follow e'en so. He is bound tae Caraidland. He kens naught else. I dinnae either. Ah, lassie, how I wish 'twas your father out there, and I ne'er thought tae e'er be saying that."
A weak smile curved Storm's lips. "I think more than one MacLagan has said the same."
"Aye. Lord Eldon be a man ye can trust, his word be his bond and he would ne'er kill the innocent, the unarmed. This man cares only for his ain skin and doesnae honor his word. Och, weel, what will be, will be. Ye cannae fret o'er God's will."
"Easier said than done."
"Keep trying, lassie. That is where ye will find a bit of peace."
Storm studied the women and children around her. She sensed that Maggie spoke for all of them. Not one had an accusatory word or look for her. They quietly went about the business of preparing for war. They silently but firmly included her in their number, as just another woman doing what she could to help the men who were soon to be fighting. She wondered how many knew that she, too, held the fear of losing a loved one, that her prayers were not really for any of the English outside the walls of Caraidland, but for one tall, dark Scot standing upon its battlements, bravely facing the overwhelming odds.
Inwardly, she grimaced and tried to concentrate upon the salve she mixed. She would not be surprised to discover that every woman there knew how she felt about Tavis. Love was an emotion most women could easily recognize in another. It would not really surprise her to discover that they had seen how she felt before she had.
Briefly, she wondered what Tavis thought about the words she had spoken to him. Did he believe her? Did her confession make him happy or appall him? Was he wondering how he really felt about her or if there was a future for them?
A soft curse echoed through her mind, and she told herself not to be such an idiot. He was standing upon the walls of Caraidland looking at a gathering force that was more than twice the size of his own. He had no time to think on a few whispered words. Lives hung in the balance; perhaps the end of the MacLagans and Caraidland was drawing near. What one small woman felt or said was not something he would ponder as he faced that. Even she could understand how, at this moment in their lives, what she felt for him and he for her was insignificant.
She tried very hard not to think of him, at least not constantly. It only made her fear for him grow. Nothing could make her stop being afraid for him, stop worrying about what he faced, but she knew it was time to concentrate upon other things. Very soon there would be work that needed doing, people who needed help. She had to stop being so distracted or she could fail them, fail to carry her share of the burden.
After the battle we will talk, she told herself. The MacLagans have to win and, Papa, if ye are watching, I know ye will understand why I wish our enemies to be the victors. I swallowed my pride and told him how I feel, Papa. I could not let it stay a secret when death stares us in the face. I hope ye understand something else, Papa. I have begged God to let Tavis live, e'en if he cares not a drop for me. I need him to live e'en more than I need him to love me. But, Papa? An all goes awry and Hugh does as we all fear, if he wipes the earth clean of the clan MacLagan, please help me. Hugh will take me alive and within me is growing a new MacLagan, hope for the future of the clan and a part of the man I love. Help me keep the child alive, Papa, I beg it of you.
Her silent conversation with her father came to an abrupt halt. The sound reaching her ears told her that the men of Caraidland no longer stood silent and waiting. She grasped Maggie's hand.
"It begins."
Chapter Twenty-One
"MacLagan, do you hear me?"
Colin stared down at Sir Hugh, who had ridden forward, flying a flag that indicated he wished to talk, and flanked by two men-at-arms. "Aye. Do ye come to ask me terms o' surrender?"
Hugh spluttered with outrage. " 'Tis no time for jests, fool. Do ye yield?"
"Nay, Sassanach dog. Caraidland will never yield."
"Then it will fall. Look about. Can you deny what your eyes see? I have many men, many more than you do. Near to twice as many."
"That makes us about equal then."
"You fool," Hugh screamed. "Do you mean to condemn your whole clan for but one girl? Is your son's whore worth the loss of Caraidland, the end of your clan? Give her over to me and I will spare your people. Do not force me to spill the blood of your people for an English slut."
"The only blood that will run today is Sassanach blood."
"I will bring this keep down around your ears, you fool."
"Then cease yapping, cur, and get on with the business."
"You die today, MacLagan. You and your whole clan, the rest of that thieving scum." He hurled the truce flag down, trampling it in the dust as he rode back to his army.
"The man has nay control o'er his temper, eh?" Colin grinned at his sons, who flanked him, as Hugh rode back to his men and began to scream orders. "He doesnae have old Eldon's skill with a taunt. There was a man who kenned how to wield a word."
Sholto laughed and shook his head. "Ye talk as if ye miss the man."
"Aye, I do and will. 'Tis rare in a man's life to face a man like Roden Eldon. Ye kenned ye could trust his word. Unlike this whoreson, Eldon wouldnae slay the innocent. Eldon would give up a victory ere he would take sword to the unarmed, women and children. Ye knew where ye stood with Eldon. If he took hostages, ye could trust him to treat them weel. All ye needed to fash yourself about was the ransom and how to raise it. Aye, I will miss him. I could trust and respect that Sassanach more than I can trust some of me own kin."
"Aye, he was a fine enemy," agreed Iain. "Ah, the whoreson begins to move."
"But will it be a full attack?"
"This time I think it will be, Tavis," Colin replied as the English force bellowed their battle cry and surged forward en masse, picking up speed as they went.
Beneath a murderous hail of arrows, the English forc
e pressed on. Time blurred for the Scots as they fought to cull the English force and keep the walls of Caraidland from being breeched. They had barely enough men to hold the walls and all knew that if those walls were scaled, they would lose in the resulting confrontation. Falling back to the keep was an option, but it was also an admission of defeat and none of them wanted that. Such a retreat would also bring the enemy closer to the women and children.
Tavis moved along the parapets, viewing the battle from every possible angle. He did not need to urge any man on. They all knew they were fighting not only for their own lives but for the very future of the clan. No one doubted Sir Hugh's threat nor that any offer he made to deal for clemency or surrender was a lie, that he only sought to trick them into letting down their defenses. They had all taken a true account of the man he was, that he was not a man one could trust, not even if he swore on all that was holy to every man.
He reached one point where there was one man dead and another badly wounded. There was no one left to push the scaling ladder away, although the wounded man struggled valiantly to get to his feet and shove the ladder down. Tavis grasped the ladder even as the first man scaling it reached the top and desperately tried to stop him from pushing the ladder away.
As he started to push, Tavis looked into the man's eyes and wished he had not. There he read the fear nearly every man held, the one of falling. The man stared death in the face and could do nothing, only wait for his body to finish plummeting to the ground. Tavis felt something inside of him twist with horror at the thought of what he was about to do to the man.
"Ye have twa blinks of an eye to get closer to God's earth, man," Tavis growled even as he wondered what madness had seized him, a madness that was giving his enemy a chance to live.
The man blinked, then gaped in amazement, and then began to scramble down the ladder. He screamed at the others to hurry and back down. They hastily obeyed as Tavis began to push the ladder further away from the wall. When he judged them a relatively safe distance from the ground he shoved the ladder away, watching it and the few men it still held topple to the ground. He noticed that they made no attempt to put it or another up against the wall.
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