Crazy for Cole
Kate Willoughby
Kiwi Press
Contents
Summary
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Also by Kate Willoughby
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Former NHL player Cole Ripley needs a stand-in girlfriend ASAP. When his friend Fedora Echeveria agrees to play along for one night, everything goes well—a little too well. They’re supposed to be pretending but it feels anything but fake.
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© 2017 Kate Willoughby
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1
Cole woke up with Harry’s ass in his face. His tiger-striped cat seemed to think this was an acceptable morning greeting, since he’d been performing it for years now. It didn’t matter what position Cole slept in; the cat would find Cole’s face and manage to thrust his butt into it as both a sign of superiority and a wordless demand for breakfast.
He groggily realized his cell phone was ringing. The screen identified the caller as Ruth Wu Ripley.
“Hi, Mom.” Do you know what time it is? he thought.
“Cole, sweetheart. I have a wonderful surprise for you. I’m coming to visit!”
Cole took in this information as he turned away from Harry’s behind and closed his eyes. “That’s great, Mom. When?”
“In about a minute.”
His grogginess disappeared. “Wait. What do you mean?”
“I mean my taxi is pulling up right now!” She gave a tiny squeal of excitement.
Cole almost dropped the phone as he scrambled out of bed and ran to the window. Sure enough there she was standing on the sidewalk, waving at him.
He waved back in what he hoped was an enthusiastic manner. “I’ll be right down.”
Still half-asleep, he hustled down the stairs. Harry followed at a trot, probably assuming breakfast was immediately forthcoming.
What the hell? His mom never came to visit him. He always went to visit her in San Francisco. She liked that. She liked to parade her big strong son around in front of her brothers, sisters and cousins. He’d gotten his dad’s height so he towered over most of his mom’s side of the family. Also, he’d played motherfucking NHL hockey for twelve years, which had shocked and impressed the Wu clan, who leaned more toward professions that required a considerable amount of postgraduate study. The joke was their last name was so short, they felt obligated to add letters to it, like MD, PhD, Esq., CPA and the like.
So, what was she doing here now? Their annual trip to his house in Lake Tahoe was scheduled for June and it was only April.
A horrible thought came to him. Maybe she was sick. Maybe she had cancer or something and she didn’t want to tell him over the phone. Could that be it? She’d been smiling out there on the sidewalk, but his mom wasn’t the type to mope around, no matter what the circumstances.
He rushed to the door and pulled it open.
“Hi, honey!”
He bent to hug her longer than usual, wondering if a cancer was ruthlessly destroying her from the inside.
Ruth laughed, kissing his unshaven cheek. “Such an enthusiastic welcome. I should surprise you more often!”
“Are you okay, Mom?” he asked, finally stepping back. He looked her up and down. She seemed normal in gray slacks, white blouse and plaid coat. Silvery bangs hung over her dark brown eyes, which seemed bright and animated, but appearances could be deceiving. “You’re not sick, are you?”
“Me? No, I’m fine, sweetheart. I’m fine. Hello, Harry.” She bent to pet the cat who had been completing a figure-eight leg rub maneuver, hoping for attention.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
A tsunami of relief swept over him, leaving him shaky in the aftermath. Thank God. He didn’t pray often, but right then, he sent up a little mental message of gratitude.
“Where’s your luggage?”
“It’s at the hotel.”
“You’re staying at a hotel? Mom, you know I have plenty of room for you.”
Waving a dismissive hand, she went into the house. “I didn’t want to intrude. It was different before when you were single, but you have a girlfriend now. Speaking of which, is Fedora here? I’m dying to meet her.”
Crap. He’d forgotten about the Fedora thing, a clear sign he needed coffee.
One day, about a month ago, his mom had really gotten on his case about finding someone to settle down with. Even though he was forty-two years old and not even remotely in the market for a wife, his mother was determined he not enter his golden years all by himself. While he didn’t relish growing old alone either, neither was he actively on the hunt. The only reason he’d escaped Ruth’s intense focus until now was because his siblings appeared on her radar first, but now Shannon was married with a toddler which left Ruth with only one loose end—him. She’d even gotten a little weepy about it, which wasn’t like her at all, so on impulse, he had told her he was seeing someone.
“What? You are? That’s wonderful, sweetheart. What’s her name?” She’d suddenly sounded so elated.
Caught unprepared, he’d said the first name that came into his mind. “Fedora.”
Fedora Echeveria was the young executive chef at the Hat Trick Tasting Room, the brewpub he and his two friends owned. Cole, Flynn and Slater had been linemates for the San Diego Barracudas back in the day and, after retiring, they’d joined forces again to open a craft brewery that, against all odds, was thriving. Their first chef, Cory, hadn’t worked out. He was a decent cook, but inept on the business end. The wait staff often had to inform customers that they’d run out of an item. Alternatively, there was pressure to sell a certain item because he’d over-ordered. Their food waste percentage was not ideal. Staff complained about schedules going up late. The list went on and on.
After firing Cory, the three partners had focused on finding someone who could cook and run the restaurant. They’d miraculously found Fedora. She was young and had never held an executive chef position, but her previous employer had raved about her and declared her more than ready to run the show at a place like Hat Trick.
That had been a year ago. Since then, he and Fedora had become friends, which was probably why her name had popped into his head. He shouldn’t have volunteered her as his fake girlfriend, but he’d known Fedora would understand when he told her. What had mattered was that his mom didn’t sound like she was about to cry anymore. She had sounded interested and…happy.
“Tell me about her,” his mom had said.
“Well…Fedora’s great. She’s really down to earth and easygoing, more like one of the guys than a girlfriend.” He had only hesitated a little when he said that word. “And she’s a great cook. We sometimes cook stuff together.”
“She sounds perfect for you, son. How old is she?”
Cole had no idea how old Fedora was. She was a lot younger than him. She might not even be out of her twenties, now that he thought about it.
“I don’t know. I never asked.”
“Good boy.”
He had weathered a few more questions about Fedor
a and that had been that. But now, here was his mom in San Diego wanting to meet her.
Ruth put her purse down and went into the kitchen. “Have you had breakfast? I can make you something.”
He was kind of hungry and his mom was a great cook. Harry went to his food bowl and sat expectantly.
“Thanks, Mom, breakfast would be great. I’ll just…get a shower, if that’s okay.”
His mom was already poking around his refrigerator muttering to herself.
After feeding Harry, he hustled back upstairs and called Fedora.
“Hello,” said a tired, irritated voice. “You’ve reached the phone of Fedora. Who is asleep. Please hang up and don’t call back for an hour.”
“Chevy, it’s me.” He’d long ago shortened Echeveria to Chevy. “Sorry to wake you up, but this is important.”
She sighed heavily. “Important enough that it couldn’t wait?”
“My mom’s here. She showed up on my doorstep fifteen minutes ago. I thought she had cancer, but she really just wants to meet you.”
“Wait. Hold on a sec. Cancer? You’re not even making sense, Cole.”
He was pacing in front of his bed. “I thought she came here to tell me in person that she had cancer which freaked me the fuck out, but she’s fine. All she wants to do is meet the wonderful Fedora. So we need a plan.”
She laughed softly. “No, my friend, you need a plan. This is your shit show. I told you you should have broken up with me a long time ago, but noooo…”
“Okay, okay, you were right and I was wrong and now I’m screwed.”
There was a long pause.
“Fedora, are you still there?”
“Yes. I’m just savoring the moment.”
Cole went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. “Very funny. You can gloat later. Right now I need help. Please.”
“Okay. How long is she staying?”
“I don’t know. She didn’t say. But she’s at a hotel. I think she was afraid of…inconveniencing us. She thought you might be here.”
Fedora’s laughter made Cole scowl.
“A real friend wouldn’t get so much joy out of another friend’s problems,” he said.
“This friend does.”
“Seriously, Chevy. What should I do?”
“You could tell her the truth.”
Cole’s laughter was sharp. “Not gonna happen.” The very idea of telling his mother he’d lied to her for a month made him queasy. If he confessed, she’d get the look on her face of sad disappointment that never failed to make him feel as if he’d kicked a puppy.
“You could tell her you broke up with me. Wasn’t that your original plan anyway?”
It had been, yes, but truthfully, it had been fun pretending.
The day after he’d concocted the story, he’d told Fedora and she’d shrugged, totally cool with it, as he’d known she would be.
“Just don’t let it get out of hand,” she’d said. “I don’t mind being a fake girlfriend, but a fake fiancée or wife…that’s where I draw the line. And don’t even think about making me pregnant.”
So for the next month whenever Cole talked to his mom, which was about once a week, he kept up the charade that he and Fedora were dating. After talking to his mom, he’d also report to Fedora.
“Just so you know, we went to the theatre last night.”
“Really? Did I have a good time? What did we see?”
“We saw The Lion King.”
Which had caused her to start singing “The Circle of Life” at the top of her lungs.
The next week they pretend-went to the beach and had a picnic, but it rained, so they ate in the car, and so on. Unfortunately, now, everything was blowing up in his face.
“Yeah,” Fedora said, yawning. “Just tell her it didn’t work out between us.”
“I don’t want to do that either,” he said. “Not to her face anyway.”
“Oh my gosh, are you afraid of your mother?”
“Absolutely, I am.”
She cracked up.
“But it’s more about disappointing her. I just…I just hate seeing her sad. She’s the most cheerful, encouraging, upbeat person I know and when she’s unhappy, it tears me up inside. I mean, remember that Greek myth where Persephone goes to the underworld and her mother is so upset that the world experiences winter? That’s what it’s like. So, come on, please just meet her. We’ll go to dinner. Tonight, if you’re free. It won’t be hard because you already know everything I told her about you. After that, she’ll go home and I’ll drop hints about us being on the rocks and then we’ll break up. I promise.”
She didn’t say anything for a while and he sincerely hoped she wasn’t going to let him swing in the wind.
“I’ll owe you big time. Please,” he begged.
“If I do this, you will owe me one mother of a favor.”
“Yes, I will.” He knew this was a dangerous deal to make, but he didn’t have a choice.
“All right. I’ll do it.”
“Thanks, Chevy. Thanks a lot.”
“No problem.”
He paused. “Are you going to…ah, I mean, what do you think you’re going to wear tonight?”
“To dinner? Maybe, you know, clothes.”
“Come on, Chevy. Seriously. Do you think you could, ah, dress like a girl?”
2
“Que demonios es esta mierda que me estás diciendo! Vestirme de pinche mujer? Soy mujer, cabrón!”
“Ah, I have no idea what you said, but I don’t think it was complimentary.”
Fedora gritted her teeth. “What do you mean can I dress like a girl?”
Fedora really liked Cole. He was a fun guy to be around and to work for, but like most men, sometimes he really put his foot in his mouth. Like now.
“What do you mean, what do I mean? Do you or do you not own girl clothes?”
She took a deep breath. “Cole,” she said in an extraordinarily calm voice, considering. “I am a girl. Therefore the clothes I own are girl clothes.”
“Come on, Chevy. I know you’re not that dense.”
What had been mere irritation exploded into anger. “You know what? This conversation is over. Good luck with Mommy.”
And she hung up.
The nerve! First, he wakes her up early when he knew damn well the late hours she kept. Working in a gastropub meant long hours. Second, he convinces her to pull a fast one on his dear old mother—a woman who had never done a thing to Fedora. Third, he insults her femininity by suggesting she might not be able to actually pass as a woman.
She threw back the covers and got out of bed, too angry now to go back to sleep. She stomped into the kitchen and started making coffee. A steady stream of Spanish invective flowed from her mouth, most of it unfit for children’s ears, all of it directed toward Cole.
She’d told him weeks ago that he should just take the heat from his mom, that he shouldn’t keep lying to her. He should have just told that one lie to alleviate the pressure building up, like little earthquakes were supposed to do for the San Andreas Fault. But no. The stupid man had to go and embellish everything and concoct a whole fake relationship. Truthfully, even though she’d gone along with it and even had a little fun with it, she’d had her doubts. But she’d told herself, she’d never meet Cole’s mom, so it didn’t matter. Now look what happened.
She glanced at her phone as the coffee brewed. Nothing from Cole. Good.
Her roommate Kiefer shuffled into the kitchen. His eyes were mostly closed. “I smell coffee.”
She poured him a cup and put it under his nose. His hands came up to close around the mug and he took a sip. “I’ve taught you well.”
Kiefer managed a nearby Starbucks.
“You’re welcome,” she said.
“What are you doing up so early? And what’s got you so mad? I heard you cursing. At least, I think it was cursing.”
“Oh, it was cursing, all right.”
As Kiefer’s eyes slowly ope
ned and the caffeine worked its magic, she gave him the low down. Unfortunately, Kiefer laughed when she got to the part where Cole insulted her.
“Stop that. It’s not funny.”
“Yes it is. I find it hard to believe he questioned your femininity. Is he blind? Did you forget to tell me your boss is visually handicapped?”
“No,” she said. “He just never sees me outside of work.”
“Ah,” Kiefer said, taking a seat at their tiny breakfast bar.
“What’s that mean?” she asked, pointing at him with a frown. “That ‘ah.’”
“It means that I can understand that if he’s only ever seen you in your chef’s coat, that it makes sense he doesn’t know you have a rockin’ body.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side,” she grumbled.
“I am on your side. I just said you have a rockin’ body, didn’t I?”
Her phone vibrated. She stubbornly refused to look at the text, but Kiefer did.
“It’s Cole. He’s sorry.”
“Yeah?” Fedora said. “He should be.”
“I’ll tell him that.”
“Do.”
Kiefer took another sip of coffee and then picked up her phone and tapped out a long message. Fedora started getting suspicious and went to see what he was typing. He, of course, angled the phone away from her.
“Oh my God, what are you saying to him?”
“And done,” Kiefer said with an exaggerated motion of his thumb.
She snatched the phone from him and read the text he’d sent. Hey, this is Fedora’s roommate. You owe her a big apology because, trust me, she has Girl Clothes and you’ll go to your grave a poorer man if you never see her in them.
Crazy for Cole Page 1