Joanna Fulford

  The question caught her unawares. ‘Of course. Why should you doubt it?’

  He smiled gently though his expression was no less earnest. ‘I want you to be happy. I want you to forget what went before as though it were no more than an evil dream.’

  ‘That is exactly what it seems now.’

  ‘I’m glad.’

  ‘I wish that you had been my husband from the beginning, that I’d never set eyes on Alistair Neil or his cold-hearted clan.’

  ‘So do I.’ He did not add that her father would never have considered him a suitable match for her then. Archibald Graham had only ever seen him as a last resort. The knowledge saddened him but he no longer felt bitter or angry. In the end he was the winner.

  Isabelle sighed. ‘My only regret is that Hugh will never know about this.’

  Ban dropped a kiss on her hair. ‘Perhaps he does know.’

  ‘Do you believe the priests are right; that the dead really watch over the living?’

  ‘I like to think so.’

  ‘It is a comforting thought.’

  ‘We all need those,’ he replied.

  * * *

  A few weeks after Isabelle’s birthday celebrations, Ashlynn was delivered of her baby, a healthy girl who had her mother’s blue eyes. Iain was clearly delighted and Ban too since his sister had come through the birth safe and well. Isabelle looked at the tiny baby and a lump formed in her throat. Envy was unworthy but she couldn’t entirely banish it. How wonderful it must be to bring new life into the world. How wonderful to watch it thrive and grow and to have the uncritical love of a completely dependent being. Her breast ached with longing. From the corner of her eye she glanced at her husband. Perhaps one day they too might have a child of their own, as healthy and as beautiful as this. Then truly they could lay the past to rest.

  Ban had no trouble interpreting that look and knew he was more than willing to do his part in bringing about the desired event. However, in the background remained the shadow of a conflict. Before he and Isabelle could ever live secure an enemy had to be faced. Unwilling to spoil the mood he had put off saying anything, but now that his sister had been safely delivered of her child he knew that Iain’s mind would turn to other things.

  In that he was right. Leaving the women to admire the new baby he took Ban aside.

  ‘Tomorrow I begin my preparations for an assault on Castlemora.’

  ‘When do we ride?’

  ‘As soon as the harvest is in. The men cannot be spared before then.’

  Ban nodded. The grain was almost ready for cutting now, aided by the warm sunshine and unusually dry summer months. ‘So be it.’

  ‘This matter cannot be delayed any longer. The sooner Murdo is dealt with the better.’ Iain grinned. ‘Castlemora is about to have a new laird.’

  ‘Aye.’

  Seeing Ban’s thoughtful expression Iain’s eyes narrowed a little. ‘Is something wrong?’

  ‘It’s just hard to take in, that’s all. After so many years of dispossession it seems incredible to think of being a landed nobleman again.’

  ‘That’s understandable. In your place I imagine I’d feel the same.’ Iain paused. ‘But this is the moment and we must act. Only then can you regain your rightful place in the world.’

  ‘I shall regain it, never fear.’

  ‘How is the shoulder now?’

  ‘Not yet as strong as it was, but I’m exercising a little more every day. I’ll be fit enough when the time comes.’

  ‘Good. I need you with me, Brother.’

  ‘I’ll be there, never fear.’ He paused, eyeing his companion steadily. ‘Just one thing though. When we do meet Murdo, the bastard’s mine.’

  Iain nodded. ‘So be it.’

  * * *

  Back in the bed chamber the two little boys stared at the cradle wide-eyed. Then Robert looked at their mother.

  ‘A girl?’ The tone suggested bemusement and curiosity. It was echoed in his expression. Clearly the concept was entirely strange to him.

  Ashlynn smiled. ‘That’s right. You have a little sister.’

  He looked at the baby again. ‘That’s good...I suppose. All the same, she’s very small, isn’t she?’

  ‘All babies are small,’ said Ashlynn, ‘but she’ll grow soon enough.’

  ‘She’s not going to be much use at tag for a while.’

  ‘No, not for a while.’

  Isabelle caught Ashlynn’s eye and smiled. Then, leaving her to speak to the children, she left the room and returned to the chamber she shared with Ban. He was conspicuous by his absence but Nell was there, folding clothes. She looked up as Isabelle entered.

  ‘Have you seen the wee mite then?’

  ‘I have, and she’s beautiful. Perfect in every way.’

  ‘Well, that’s good. I trust Lady Ashlynn is well.’

  ‘She is.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear it. Childbed is hard on a woman.’

  Isabelle thought she’d gladly endure any amount of pain if it meant she could have a child, if she could give her husband the son he longed for. Sons perhaps. Daughters too. She smiled to herself. Ban was lusty enough to sire a dynasty and he did not neglect his responsibility. Since their marriage very few nights had gone by without him claiming his rights and that was no hardship to her: the thought of him was enough to make her feel weak at the knees. Ban was inventive, sometimes demanding, but he never hurt her. In his arms she had only experienced uninterrupted delight.

  Suddenly she was very still as the implications of that began to dawn. The natural interruption hadn’t occurred. It had been weeks since her last flux. Mentally she began counting backwards. Her breathing quickened and instinctively one hand went to her belly. She shut her eyes for a moment, fighting a rising tide of excitement, and made herself count again. The answer was the same. She ought to have bled three weeks ago. The ache in her breast might not be due to envy after all. Her heart thumped harder. Dear God, was it possible?

  ‘Are you all right, my lady?’

  Nell’s voice brought her back to earth with a start. ‘What? Oh, yes. Perfectly.’

  ‘Are you sure? You look a little pale.’

  ‘It’s nothing, really.’

  ‘Maybe you should sit by the window and get some air.’

  Isabelle knew she was far too excited to sit. ‘I think I’ll just go outside for a while.’

  Before she could be questioned further she hurried out of the room. Once in the passageway she paused, wanting to avoid company for the time being, and then headed for the roof terrace. As she’d hoped it was empty and she could have the place to herself. For a while she paced up and down, fighting to contain her excitement, trying to collect her thoughts, uncertain whether to laugh or cry. In the end she did both.

  When she was a little calmer she began to think more rationally. It was early days yet, too soon to say anything to anyone. She needed to be sure. In another week or so her flux was due again. If she missed that as well... The hope was almost painful. She glanced down at herself again. Could she really be carrying Ban’s child? If so she must have conceived very quickly. Her heart swelled with joy until she thought it might burst. She tried to imagine his expression when she told him. He would be thrilled. The future they both wanted was within their reach. She clasped trembling hands.

  ‘Please, God, let it be.’

  She remained on the terrace until she was reasonably certain of being able to control her emotions in front of others, and especially in front of Ban. Whatever happened she would not raise his hopes until she was absolutely certain.

  * * *

  In spite of her best intentions she could not entirely conceal her secret. It manifested itself in quiet smiles and a strange suppressed excitement. The next week seemed to crawl by but at its end there was still no sign of her flux. Moreover her breasts were larger and slightly sore too. Then, one morning, she was sick for no apparent reason. Despite the queasiness in her stomach she was utterly elated.


  Ban had left the chamber a little earlier so she was alone. The impending confrontation with Murdo meant that he had even more duties to undertake, and he was assiduous in carrying them out. The harvest was imminent and all the men would be required to help. He also spent a part of each day in exercising the muscles in his shoulder to build up their strength. It would be a while before she saw him but Isabelle could hardly wait until they were alone to tell him her news. She smiled to herself. Then another wave of queasiness rose like a tide and she rushed for the bucket once more.

  Just then the door opened and Nell came in. She took in the scene at a glance, her brow creased with concern.

  ‘Good heavens. You are unwell, my lady.’

  Isabelle straightened and wiped her mouth. ‘No, I was never better.’

  ‘I don’t quite...’

  ‘I’m pregnant, Nell.’

  The older woman stared at her and then her face was wreathed in an incredulous smile. ‘May God and all the saints be praised! That’s wonderful news.’

  ‘Isn’t it?’

  ‘How far along are you?’

  ‘About two months, as near as I can tell.’

  ‘Does he know?’

  ‘Not yet.’

  ‘He’ll be thrilled, I’m sure of it. What husband is not on hearing such news?’

  ‘It’s a dream come true. I can’t wait to tell him.’ Isabelle sat down on the edge of the bed, waiting for her stomach to quieten. ‘We’ve both been hoping for this. I had no idea it might happen so soon.’

  Nell squeezed her arm. ‘I’m happy for you, my lady.’

  ‘I was so afraid I might never conceive; that what happened before was my fault. This is such a vindication.’

  ‘Forget what went before. Just think about what is.’

  ‘I shall. I want nothing more than to put the past behind me. If I could expunge every memory of Alistair Neil I would.’

  ‘He’d dead, God rest his soul. Lord Ban has given you what Neil never could.’ Nell grinned. ‘The first of many I have no doubt.’

  ‘I truly hope so.’ Isabelle laughed shakily. ‘I want a dozen children at least.’

  ‘Well, there’s no reason why not, is there?’

  ‘Not any more.’

  * * *

  Later, when she had washed and dressed and made herself presentable Isabelle left the chamber and went in search of Ban. When the hall and the courtyard revealed no sign of him she enquired of a servant and was informed that he was currently closeted in private discussion with Lord Iain. Stifling disappointment she realised her news was going to have to wait. In the meantime there was a pile of mending awaiting attention. It occurred to her then that there would also be baby clothes to sew now as well. Smiling to herself she retraced her steps to the tower.

  * * *

  In the event it was evening before she saw Ban again. The hours out of doors had evidently agreed with him. In the past few weeks the pallor of illness had been replaced by a healthy tan that banished the shadows beneath his eyes and enhanced the strong lines of his face. With his mane of tawny hair and lean athletic frame he looked every inch the warrior he was. As he took his place beside her at table her heart constricted with love and desire and she longed for the hour when they would be alone.

  The conversation was mostly about the forthcoming harvest and Isabelle was content to let the men talk, letting their banter and laughter wash around her. Her thoughts drifted to Castlemora. It would be harvest time there too; a harvest that would be used to feed Murdo and a horde of mercenary troops. Her father and brother must be turning in their graves. Hopefully though, not for much longer. With an effort she put the thought aside. This was no time for sad or gloomy reflections.

  ‘Are you all right, sweetheart?’

  She looked up to see Ban regarding her closely. ‘Oh, yes, of course.’

  ‘Only you looked miles away.’

  ‘I was thinking of Castlemora and harvest time there. It was always such a joyful occasion. I used to love watching the grain brought in, knowing the lean months had come to an end.’

  ‘You’ll see it again, I promise, and with a feast such as has never been seen.’

  ‘I’ll hold you to that.’

  ‘It should be a season of plenty this year,’ he said. ‘Let’s just hope this fine weather holds a little longer.’

  ‘Yes, let’s hope so.’

  She seemed momentarily downcast and, guessing at some of the thoughts passing through her mind just then, he changed the subject. ‘I missed your company today.’

  Isabelle shook her head. ‘I believe you were too busy to spare any thoughts of me.’

  ‘You’re wrong. You were often in my mind.’

  ‘Oh? And what were you thinking, my lord?’

  He leaned closer and whispered in her ear. Isabelle’s cheeks turned a deep shade of pink. He saw it and grinned appreciatively. ‘You really are most attractive when you blush.’

  She darted a look around but everyone else was engaged in conversation and seemed not to have noticed. Even so she lowered her voice. ‘You are incorrigible.’

  ‘Where you are concerned I am.’ He paused. ‘Dare I hope that you thought of me in my absence?’

  ‘I may have done, once or twice.’

  ‘Only once or twice? I must try to make it harder for you to forget me.’

  She regarded him speculatively. ‘And how do you mean to do that, my lord?’

  ‘I’ll show you later, when we’re alone.’

  Her skin tingled. When they were alone, she would tell him her news. She smiled quietly, hugging the secret to herself a little longer. Ban eyed her curiously, sensing something different about her this evening but not being able to define it precisely. These sudden changes of mood were strange. Nevertheless, the mysterious smile was beguiling and seductive, and he began to feel impatient to have her to himself again.

  Rising from the table he held out a hand. ‘Shall we?’

  They bade the company goodnight and took their leave. A crowd of grinning faces watched their departure. Ban ignored them, leading her firmly by the hand. He didn’t stop until they reached their chamber. Drawing her inside he shut and barred the door, then took her in his arms for a lingering kiss that set every nerve aflame.

  ‘I’ve been waiting to do that all evening.’

  She smiled. ‘Only that?’

  ‘That was just the start, my sweet.’

  He stepped back just long enough to remove her clothing and his own and lead her to the bed. Then he made love to her, a hot and passionate coupling that drove all else from her mind and there were only the two of them carried on a rising tide of pleasure. Afterwards they lay together in sated quiet. Isabelle snuggled closer, her head on his breast, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, breathing the familiar musky scent of his skin. Her whole body felt deliciously weary now, every fibre alive to his nearness. She glanced up and saw him smile. She knew then that the fire was not out, it was only banked. The knowledge created a thrill of anticipation. It seemed almost indecent to enjoy physical union as much as this: the church would certainly regard it as a sin. Yet it didn’t feel like a sin to lie with Ban. It felt like paradise, another undoubtedly blasphemous notion. Marriage was for the procreation of children, not for carnal pleasure. That thought brought her back to the matter that had been uppermost in mind until he took her to bed, and she smiled.

  Ban squinted down at her. ‘What?’

  ‘I was just thinking about pleasure.’

  He grinned. ‘All in good time, sweetheart.’

  ‘That’s not what I meant.’

  ‘Oh?’ He regarded her curiously now. ‘Then what did you mean?’

  ‘That some would find such bliss sinful.’

  ‘They are fools then. If we were not intended to enjoy this God would not have given us the means to do so.’ He traced a finger lightly over her shoulder. ‘Enjoyment is a celebration of his gifts.’

  ‘Speaking of gifts...’
>
  ‘It seems to me that you have many,’ he replied.

  ‘One more now, for you.’

  ‘What gift, sweetheart?’

  ‘The greatest gift: a child.’

  His hand stopped abruptly and he stared at her, unsure he had understood. ‘A child? You mean you’re...’

  She nodded. ‘I’m going to have a baby.’

  For a moment or two he was utterly incredulous but the look in her eyes spoke louder than words. His heart seemed to miss several beats before lurching violently back to life. As he tried to assimilate the news he felt almost light-headed. His dearest wish had been granted. She was going to have a child; their child. His line would continue and the memory of his dead kin would live on. His throat tightened.

  ‘Darling, that’s wonderful. Are you quite certain?’

  For a second she lost track of her thoughts. What had he just called her?

  ‘Isabelle?’

  ‘Oh, yes, quite certain, now.’ She smiled tremulously. ‘I’ve suspected for a while but I didn’t want to speak until I was sure.’

  ‘When? When is the baby due?’

  ‘In the spring.’

  He let out a crow of delighted laughter. ‘I’m going to be a father.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘That’s marvellous. The most marvellous thing I ever heard.’ He laid a hand on her belly. ‘I never expected it would happen so soon.’

  ‘Well, you’ve certainly done your part to bring it about,’ she replied.

  His smile faded a little as another thought occurred to him. ‘You should have spoken sooner, sweetheart. If I’d known I would not have...’

  Her gaze met his. ‘Ban, it’s all right. I won’t crumble to dust.’

  ‘Even so, I should not have been so rough. Did I hurt you?’

  ‘No, of course not.’ She kissed him gently. ‘There’s nothing to worry about.’

  He lay back on the pillows trying to take it in, his mind a whirl of different emotions. Never in a thousand years had he expected to hear such news so quickly. The implications of it left him breathless. He was going to be a father. The knowledge thrilled and terrified him at the same time. He took her hand and raised it to his lips.

  ‘Thank you.’

  Her throat tightened. ‘I have dreamed of this for so long.’