Her Dakota Man (Book 1 - Dakota Hearts)

by Lisa Mondello

  * * *

  Poppy’s heart pounded as she climbed the steps to the bathroom. If Logan didn’t get her meaning, then the man was an idiot. And one thing she knew was Logan was no idiot!

  It had been years since her heart felt as full and happy as it did today. Racing around the grounds on the ATV with Logan pressed up against her back, laughing and having fun, brought back such wonderful memories that she had to swallow the lump in her throat.

  Pausing at the door, she listened…and heard nothing. Logan wasn’t behind her. Disappointment wrapped around her and left her cold. When would they jump that hurdle? Finding Kelly’s letters undisturbed on top of the hatbox that morning had her convinced Kelly had been wrong. It was as simple as that. There was no reason to stay and prolong the misery she knew would eventually come.

  She’d been prepared to tell Logan she would leave in the morning when she’d watched him get out of his truck after dropping Keith off for a play date. Instead of coming inside, he’d walked through the field. She knew he was going to the pond on the far end of the property; the one where they’d skinny-dipped and were interrupted by Kelly when she’d discovered them there. She was sure she and Logan would have made love that day…if not for Kelly showing up when she did.

  Instead of hiding from her, Logan had spent a glorious afternoon laughing and playing with her. It was exactly what she’d needed to give it one more try, and much more than she’d hoped for when the day had started.

  Maybe those secrets didn’t have to be told. Maybe all the lies of their past could just stay there…in the past. They could start brand new today.

  She wouldn’t bring up the letters again. Her and Logan had taken a giant leap today and Poppy was determined to keep moving forward.

  With renewed hope, she quickly stripped herself of her muddy clothes and left them in a heap on the floor. She turned the shower faucet on and waited a few seconds to feel the temperature of the water with her hand before she stepped in the tub and closed the curtain.

  Just as she put her head under the spray, she heard, “Is there’s room in there for me?”

  She closed her eyes and felt the tears behind her eyes. Tears of joy that she hadn’t dared to feel in many years. Logan was here with her. Truly with her.

  Taking in a slow breath, she pushed the shower curtain aside and revealed herself to him, body and soul, just as she had the day they’d gone skinny-dipping in the back pond. The look on his face told her that he was back there, as if all these years in between had never happened.

  Poppy waited for Logan to peel off each layer of his clothes until he, too, was standing their splendidly naked. She stepped aside to make room for him. With one touch, her whole body burned for him as he wrapped his arms around her, gazing into her eyes as if waiting for her to stop him.

  “This may be a bad idea,” he said.

  “You know what a bad idea really is?” she asked.

  He shook his head.

  “Glorious fun.” She smiled and waited for the uncertainty in Logan’s expression to melt away before pressing herself against his hot, naked skin. Then she kissed him, forgetting about the past and just relishing in the here and now.

  Logan’s hand made a hot, slow trail from her shoulder, down her back and to her buttocks. He pulled her ever closer to him and groaned as they connected flesh to flesh, creating an immediate burst of fire inside her. Still, he didn’t kiss her. He just watched her face and seemed to revel in her changing expression with each move of his hand across her body.

  The spraying water over her face and head made it difficult to see. She strained to open her eyes so she could play this game. She ran her fingers lightly over his shoulders and down his back with one hand as she reached up on her toes to kiss his mouth. He pulled back just a little, a smile playing on the corner of his lips telling her he enjoyed not letting her have her way. With both hands she cradled his face and pulled him toward her, giving her what she wanted. She breathed in his breath, his soul and all the love that he’d held back for so long. And she gave it right back to him in a kiss so powerful she thought she’d melt right there in his arms.

  Cupping her bottom, he lifted her, and in one swift move, pressed her back against the cold shower wall, crushing her in place. The feel of cold tile against her back and hot skin against her chest was amazing. All her senses were alive and wanting to feel. Feel nothing but Logan and everything he was giving to her.

  She lifted her face to him and his mouth came down over hers, tasting her, devouring every bit of her, claiming her. And still she wanted more. She dug her fingers into his wet hair and pulled him ever closer, breathing in the scent of him, loving the feel of his tongue against hers.

  He kissed her neck, her shoulders and then made a trail of kisses down to her chest. Cupping her breast in his hand, he pulled her nipple into his mouth and sucked gently, then used his tongue to ease the fury growing inside her until he went back for more. Tension built up inside her until she couldn’t take it anymore. She pulled his head up to hers and kissed him again as his hand made a journey down her stomach and between her legs to the place where she was most on fire. The fire exploded into an inferno with his delicate ministrations.

  Just when she thought she couldn’t take any more, he cupped her bottom with both hands and lifted her. She wrapped her arms around him as he held her against the cold shower wall, both submerged in the hot spray of water.

  And when Logan finally entered her with a hard thrust, Poppy cried out in pure delight. He filled her completely in every way, making her whole after what seemed a lifetime of being empty. With each thrust of his hips he took her higher, ever higher until Poppy thought she would self-combust. And then she did as her orgasm ripped through her, leaving her fighting to breathe. Seconds later, Logan held her tighter, and breathing faster, he joined her in bliss.

  #

  CHAPTER SIX

  Poppy couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt happiness so deeply. Surely she’d been happy as an adult, but most all of her deeply held moments of happiness had happened right here in Rudolph. The sudden realization of that should have made her sad. Instead, she just stood at the kitchen sink and looked out the window up at the night sky, allowing herself to fully feel contentment.

  “What’s so interesting out there?” Logan asked, coming up behind her.

  “The sky.”

  He leaned forward, looking over her shoulder. She reached both hands behind her to hold him in place. If she lived a hundred years she’d never forget the feel of Logan being as close to her as they’d been today.

  Chuckling he said, “You can’t see a thing from in here. Come on.”

  He grabbed their jackets from the hooks and handed hers to her. Since her boots were covered in caked on mud that she hadn’t had the chance to clean yet due to an afternoon of love making, she stepped out onto the porch in her woolen socks and held the door, waiting for Logan to follow.

  “Now that the sun is gone, it’s freezing outside,” Logan said, slipping into his jacket.

  “I think it might snow. No stars,” she said, pouting. “Not like the time we climbed on top of the porch roof to watch the meteor shower that summer night.”

  “That was pretty spectacular. But we’ll have to stay off the porch roof until I have a chance to check it for ice damage. Not that there would be much to see anyway. We haven’t had many cloudless nights lately with all the rain.”

  “I miss looking up at the dark sky and seeing that massive array of stars. I used to sit at my bedroom window when I was little and couldn’t sleep just looking at them all night. We certainly don't get stars in Manhattan like here in South Dakota,” she said, looking up at the dark sky.

  “I couldn't live there,” he said.

  She glanced at him, but his face was dark and unreadable. His voice said it all. “I know,” she said. “I honestly didn’t know how long I’d last there myself.”

  “I thought you loved New York. Kelly said that y
ou—“

  She cut him off before he could finish. “I went to the city because I was offered a good job.”

  “You must really love your job then...I mean to stay there so long.”

  “You can get a good job anywhere. It’s just a job.”

  She hugged her middle, not wanting to talk about what he knew through Kelly. Poppy wanted Logan to hear her life, her desires from her.

  “Long Island is nice though. We didn’t live on the water but it was always nice to be close the ocean. It’s nothing like swimming out here in the ponds in Rudolph.”

  “Not as private though.”

  She chuckled. “No, definitely not that. Some of the beaches barely have enough room to spread out a towel in the summer. But the ocean was a different experience. Kelly and I took Keith to the beach a few summers ago while she was visiting. She was still healthy then.”

  Logan became quiet, turning away. “She didn’t mention it. I’ve never been to the ocean.”

  “Then I have a reason to drag you and Keith out to Long Island. Or New York City. Keith’s a bit young still, but there are a lot of things he might enjoy.”

  “I really can't imagine you there.”

  “Really?”

  “I didn't mean it the way it sounded.” He laughed and scratched the back of his neck. “You just seem to fit so much more here. I guess I can't imagine it any other way.”

  “I don’t think I fit very well at first. But like everything else, you get used to it. You adapt. You find something about it to love and make it your home. Home is where the people you love are and that’s where my parents live now.”

  “You have people who love you here,” he said quietly. “You always did.”

  “That’s nice to hear.”

  “I was...really surprised you didn’t come back to South Dakota.” He paused a moment. “Why didn’t you?”

  Poppy played their conversation about her reasons for staying in New York and the letters from Kelly over in her mind. “That’s for some other time,” she finally said, not wanting to spoil the mood.

  “Was there someone who kept you there? Or is that for some other time, too.”

  “There has never been anyone in my life special enough to keep me from coming back to Rudolph,” she said.

  He didn’t look away and she wished the porch light was on so she could read his expression so she would know Logan understood her meaning.

  “All these years. There had to have been someone in your life.”

  She sighed. “Why are you pushing this? Not everyone is as lucky to find love. You and Kelly were...”

  “We were good partners.”

  Poppy sputtered. “Well, hell, that was real romantic.”

  He shrugged. “I'm not a fancy talker. You know that. But Kel and I were good friends. We worked well together. I know too many couples who don’t even like each other.”

  “True.”

  “But enough about that. Didn’t you ever get lonely?”

  “You just don’t let up, do you? Logan, it's a city with over eight million people in it. The sidewalks were crawling with people day and night. If I wanted to share a meal, all I had to do was go to one of the local neighborhood restaurants. I always knew someone there. Actually, it's really not unlike going to your mom's diner where you know people you grew up with your whole life. Just not as long a wait for a table.”

  “You're comparing my mother's restaurant with Manhattan?”

  “It's not as homey. I'll give you that.”

  “You're avoiding my question.”

  “Am not.”

  He grabbed the railing with both hands and looked out into the darkness. “Kelly told me you were engaged a while back. Whatever happened to that?”

  Poppy reached up and touched Logan’s arm. He turned and looked at her face and she hoped he could see her fully. It was all lies. She knew that, but Logan didn’t.

  “I was never engaged. Ever. I’ve never even gotten close.”

  “Never?”

  Truths. Did they all really need to come out now? When she came here to Rudolph she believed it was important in order for both of them to move on. But the shocked look on Logan’s face told her he didn’t know what to believe. Would he believe her? Did she even stand a chance at getting him to understand the truth without dividing him from the love he’d felt for the mother of his child? After today, she wasn’t sure it mattered anymore.

  Visibly uncomfortable, he moved on. “The few times we saw each other over the years, you never came back with a friend. Is our small town life so embarrassing that you'd prefer to keep your city friends away?”

  Her stomach fell. “Is that what you thought all this time? Honestly, I don't know what you think of me when you talk like that. I talk about South Dakota to my friends all the time. But most of the people I know back East love the city, the theater and the museums. I love that, too. I've come to love it. Unless you've grown up in a place like this you don't have a true appreciation for the beauty of it all. To some of them, it might as well be a foreign planet.”

  He sighed. “It's been looking like it these last couple of weeks. Every time I drive into town it feels like I’m in some crazy science fiction world with destruction everywhere. It's like nature put a huge scar on what used to be Rudolph. I wonder if it will ever be the same.”

  “Give it time. Time heals.” Her eyes widened as she looked out into the yard. “It’s snowing!”

  She jumped off the porch in her stocking feet and started spinning with her face turned up to the sky. Yes, time heals all and washes away the stains of the past.

  Would anything be left behind? Poppy didn’t want to think about it anymore. She just wanted to laugh and to feel.

  * * *

  “Woman, you are crazy!” Logan said, laughing. He watched Poppy dancing around in the yard in her socks. With her arms stretched open wide, she spun and laughed as she caught snowflakes on her tongue.

  She was every bit as beautiful as she’d been as a teen and it took his breath away just watching her. Earlier, when she was warm and naked in his arms, when he pressed himself against her and then entered her, he thought he’d died and gone to heaven. He’d wanted her so bad, had dreamed about it for so long, and he still wanted her.

  Nothing had changed. All these years he’d been a fool to think he could forget about Poppy and happily live his life as if she’d never been a part of it. And he had to some extent, especially after Keith had been born. But there had been a part of him that had been dead inside. Until now. He didn’t want to think about her leaving and going back to New York. He didn’t want to think about anything but how to get Poppy naked and in his arms again.

  She stopped her spinning and looked up at him. The moisture from melting snowflakes against her warm skin glistened from the light streaming out from the kitchen window. “What are you waiting for? Get out here with me!”

  Logan couldn’t help himself. He jumped off the porch and scooped her up in his arms, his heart feeling so full he thought it might actually burst. He spun Poppy around, laughing hard, feeling the fresh air in his lungs and breathing in the very essence of this woman who had haunted his dreams for years.

  And later, he’d brought her upstairs and made love to her all over again. At first, his passion for her overtook his control and they loved each other hard and with wild abandon. All the sweet passion he’d always seen in Poppy came alive in their lovemaking. And then he loved her again, this time slow. He wanted to know every inch of her as if he were imprinting himself on her, ruining her for no other man.

  As he lay next to her in the dark, listening to her breathing as she slept, he thought of the letters on the hatbox, and for the first time, what was written in them mattered. I was never engaged. I’ve never even gotten close.

  How could that be? So many of his decisions over the years had been made because Logan had believed Poppy had moved on and left him behind.

  He recalled Kelly’s confession years a
go. He’d packed his bags and was determined to go after Poppy.

  “I probably should tell you this,” Kelly had said. “But I just don’t want you to drive all the way out to New York and get your heart stomped on. Poppy is crazy in love with this guy she met at college. His name is Gary. They’re together all the time. They’re practically engaged.”

  And yet, when he hadn’t believed Kelly and called Poppy’s house later that night, Poppy’s mother said she was out with Gary again and she didn’t know when Poppy would be home.

  He’d spent the whole summer that year saving his money working odd jobs so he could buy a car and have enough left over to get an apartment. The cost of living in the New York suburb where Kelly’s parents had moved to was much higher than South Dakota. He figured he’d get a job doing something, anything, when he got out there. Young and stubborn, he’d wanted to prove to Poppy that he could make his own way.

  He’d never made it out of the driveway. He couldn’t understand why Poppy had never mentioned this other man to him. They’d talked on the phone. She’d always talked about coming home. And when she hadn’t, he’d decided to go after her. Until…

  She’s practically engaged.

  Logan couldn’t stand the thought of another man touching Poppy. He’d been shipwrecked that night, body and soul, and ended up getting drunker than he’d ever been down by the creek. He couldn’t remember much about that night, but he knew that Kelly had stayed with him, listening to him. It was the night he’d kissed her for the first time. That much he remembered, but nothing more. So many times he’d wished he could remember more. He needed to remember.

  The next day everything about him reeked of alcohol and pity. And he couldn’t remember a damned thing that had happened. Even when Kelly had told him. He could see how happy Kelly had been about what had taken place the night before, but Logan just felt sick. He had wondered just what kind of bastard he was that he’d take pleasure with a sweet friend just to get over his misery about losing Poppy. No one was more surprised than he was when Kelly told him weeks later that she was pregnant. They were married a month later. A week after that, she’d had a miscarriage.