by Liza James
“Essentially, you’ll both be privy to each other’s emotional state, all of the time. You’ll feel his emotions in the instant they manifest inside of him and he will feel the same for you. For actual couples, this is a benefit. It brings them closer and their souls work as one being. It’s a blessing and a gift for those who are truly together. But for you and Elijah, it will be difficult. You’ve never known each other before now. Generally, blood bonds are initiated between committed partners who have found their soulmates.”
I absorb his words, processing and dissecting each new bit of information. I wonder if the odd sense of possessiveness I felt towards Nathanial earlier was actually my own feeling, or if it was Elijah’s? Was he feeling possessive of his brother?
“Earlier, when Elijah was here, and I had just woken up, I felt strangely greedy when I saw you for the first time. I didn’t understand it. I don’t know you but now I don’t know if that was me or if it was—”
“Elijah. You’ll learn to feel your way through the differences between yours and his emotions. Eventually, it’ll be as clear as night and day. But right now, while you’re adjusting to everything, it may be a bit confusing. And he wasn’t feeling possessive over me, I’m sure he was feeling possessive over you,” he explains gently. I can tell that he’s trying to lay everything out in a way that I will comprehend but it’s practically impossible. I’m one of those people who learn better in the midst of chaos, and I know whatever I’m about to experience will evoke plenty of questions.
“Elijah wants nothing to do with me,” I state simply. It’s true, I saw the way he watched me from across the room. I could almost feel the anger radiating from his body. He couldn’t get out of here quick enough.
“Elijah doesn’t know what to do with you,” Nathanial admits.
“Why don’t we break the bond? It can’t be that difficult.” It seems like a simple solution.
Immediately, Nathanial tenses at my suggestion. His brows furrow deeply in the center of his smooth forehead and a scowl forms on his soft lips. “No. Severing blood bonds are a death wish. Especially yours and Elijah’s. You can’t, I don’t think either of you would survive it.”
“Why do you keep referring to Elijah and me as if we’re different? What makes our bond unlike others? Other than the simple fact that we definitely don’t know each and are not in any sort of relationship whatsoever.” Sarcasm drips from my voice. It’s a defense mechanism, one I’ve always used throughout my entire life. But it’s true, why would Elijah and I be any different than your average Angel-initiated blood bond?
Wow, I can’t even believe I just thought that. I’m losing it.
“Another answer you’ll have to get from Elijah, I’m afraid. I promise, in the end it’ll be worth it when he finally opens up to you.” If he thinks I’ll be sticking around long enough for that to happen, he’s fucking kidding himself.
“I’m not staying, I need to leave. I need to get a hold of my sister. I have a job I need to get back too,” I state as I move to slowly stand up from the couch. I want to test the weight on my legs, see if I’m able to get things moving again.
Nathanial immediately stands with me and offers his hand in a kind gesture. I take it, knowing I’ll probably need assistance this first time. “Luna, I don’t know how to break this to you, but you can’t leave. The farther away you are from Elijah, the worse your state will become. You’ll hardly be able to work let alone live your life away from him at this point.”
I caution a step, a little unsteady at first but quickly gain my balance as I stretch with each movement forward. In a few quick strides, I’m feeling astoundingly better, aside from the shortened breaths and aching chest.
“Fucking hell, I can’t miss any work and I can’t not see my sister. You have to understand that,” I plead with him, wondering why I’m in a situation where someone else holds so much damn power over me. I swore never to find myself in that place again.
“Come, let’s go to Elijah’s and we’ll figure something out.” At that, I reluctantly let Nathanial lead me out of his home as we climb into his blacked-out Mercedes G-Wagon and pull away from the house that uncovered few answers for me, but also raised countless more questions.
Unfortunately for me, the moment we pull into Elijah’s long and expansive driveway leading up to a gorgeously modern home, I feel my breaths coming in a slightly longer pulls. Most of me didn’t want Nathanial to be right. I didn’t want to know any of this was true or that I would need to spend time with a man who wanted nothing to do with me.
I try to reason with myself, acknowledge the fact that the blood bond had to have been done in order to save my life. I am thankful for that, truly I am. But did it have to be Elijah that I bonded with? Why couldn’t it have been Nathanial?
I’m not innately attracted to Nathanial in the way I am to his brother. Don’t get me wrong though, he’s unbelievably handsome. What with his movie-star, slick golden hair and immaculately tailored suit that screams dominant. I have a feeling he has a deliciously dark and commanding side to him that all the ladies love to play with. Hell, he would have been a lot easier to live with in dire circumstances such as these. But no, I have to be recklessly attracted to his sultry, angry, distant but sexier than hell, brother. They both are the most beautiful men I’ve ever laid eyes on for completely opposite reasons.
As we park in front of the entirely black and dark wooded home, all sleek edges and large glass windows, I try to calm my racing heart as I mentally prepare for what I’m about to walk into.
The front of his home is layered in dark walnut wooden planks, while the trim and details are lined in black. His front door is one of those large wide ones, also completely black with wooded trees lining the short walkway. I don’t fail to notice that his large home is sheltered completely in the woods. In fact, it’s the only home I noticed in this neighborhood that is so deeply immersed in forestry. It wasn’t even visible from the street as we drove up to it on the way here.
I step out of Nathanial’s vehicle and follow him up towards the front door. I instantly spot what I assume is Elijah’s Jeep. It’s big black Wrangler Rubicon. I can almost sense him on it, a gut instinct that reaches through my confused mind and tells me it’s his. It’s huge, lifted at least six inches with large, treaded tires that sit at a wider stance from the body of the vehicle.
I notice another small car is parked in the driveaway next to Elijah’s, a silver Ford or maybe a Mazda. I catch Nathanial’s eyes as they dart quickly to the vehicle, a scowl forming on his lips.
I’m thankful for the fact that with every step I take, the easier my breaths are coming and the ache in my body begins to fade. However, I can’t help but notice the strangely apprehensive gnawing at my mind, working its way to the forefront when Nathanial knocks on the front door.
My first mistake was expecting it to be Elijah that would greet us. My second mistake was not expecting the fact that there be obvious imperative pieces of information missing from Nathanial’s brief and vague explanation earlier.
Such as an apparent girlfriend. That would rightfully be at his home, and that I would unrightfully experience mass amounts of hatred and jealousy towards. This fucking blood bond was quickly becoming the bane of my existence. When the little platinum blond bunny hopped up to open the door, my heart took an insane, uncalled for nosedive into the pit of my stomach.
He’s not yours. He’s not yours. He’s not yours.
I recite the words inside of my head like they are a plea for my own life. The emotions that spiral through my heart and fill my gut are shocking. I have absolutely no basis for these feelings, no right to be territorial or possessive over Elijah. Nor do I want that right. I swore off men for the last seven years and I want to keep it that way. I don’t want to want him, fuck, I practically hate myself for feeling this desire towards him. But I also can’t control the way my mind and body are seeking him out immediately, for the simple need to be near him.
“Sam
,” Nathanial states in an agitated greeting as he reaches back and takes my hand in his. He stalks forward without invitation, leading us both inside the house and past blondie. “Where is Elijah?”
“In the kitchen, he’s hungry after we—” Her chirpy voice rings out like a blaring siren in my ears, stinging and searing through my blood.
“Don’t speak.” Nathanial’s sharp tone surprises me. I haven’t known him long, but I can tell that he’s furious. He pulls me through a narrow hallway that opens into a beautifully styled kitchen. It’s filled with stark white granite counters and black cabinets on the bottom half of the room. The upper cabinets are white as well and there is a butcher block style walnut island in the center.
Elijah’s shirtless and standing near the sink, casually leaning against it with a bright red apple in his hand. I immediately catch the way his body tenses as I step foot into the room. While he seems strained, I feel a full, refreshing breath of air fill my lungs for the first time since we’ve been apart.
I continue absorbing all of the oxygen I can while I have the chance, savoring the feeling of energy, and a strength I haven’t felt before. Everything seems clearer, my hearing, my eyesight, my sense of touch, all of it. I fight the urge to try and decipher his emotions but truthfully, I can’t feel them the way Nathanial had described. Everything is heightened but the barrier that stands between us is still firmly rooted in place.
My eyes uncontrollably fall to his stomach, and fuck me why does he have to be so attractive?
His tattoos cover the entire expanse of his strong chest, trailing down and seeming to highlight every dip and rise of his powerful, washboard abs. They’re perfect. I may hate this bond and hate the fact that it’s him I had to bond with, but I definitely do not hate his body or that sexy V that disappears under his low-slung, dark wash jeans. I glance back up as my eyes catch a quick glint on his chest as he tosses the apple core into the sink behind him.
Yeah, he has his nipples pierced as well. Two tiny straight silver barbells that aren’t at all feminine. He is incredibly, indescribably masculine in all of the best ways. Ways that feel like they were designed exactly for me.
“Eyes up here, mo dheaman beag,” that accented rough voice electrifies the air between us. I still can’t place the language or the accent, it’s so faint. He is probably calling me something horrid, but the words parting his mouth leave goosebumps erupting across my shoulders and my panties feeling wet. Heat floods my cheeks as anger bites at my chest when I remember that he may know every single emotion I’m currently feeling.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Nathanial interrupts our interaction, nodding his head back towards where Sam had met us at the door.
“I could ask you the same fucking question, brother,” Elijah pointedly glances at our joined hands, ones I had completely forgotten about when we entered the kitchen. I’m the first to pull away, surprised at my own error. I shouldn’t care what Elijah thinks, but a part of me feels loyal to him, for the fact that he saved my life and is bonded to me.
Sam comes hurrying in behind us, immediately moving towards Elijah and resting her hand on his chest as she comes up beside him. She’s wearing a pair of short, denim cut offs and a sweet pink, flouncy top. In most ways, she’s the literal opposite of me. Tiny, with a small chest and bleach blond hair. Her style is preppy and manicured while mine tends to lean toward a mix of bohemian and hipster. She lifts up on her toes, leaning into him and placing a quick kiss on his cheek.
His eyes never leave mine while she begins chatting and honestly, I can’t hear a word she says. My head is rushing with an overwhelming amount of frustration at things I can’t control. I was never this out of control anymore. I close my eyes to break our gaze, mentally taking several deep breaths to try and sort everything out internally.
“—not my girlfriend.” I catch the tail end of his voice as it breaks through my self-induced trance.
“I’m sorry, what?” I ask, begging to hear the words I hope are true. God, I hate that I hope that.
“Sam, she’s not his girlfriend. She’s just a friend,” Nathanial repeats Elijah’s words. I notice the pout on Sam’s lips as she hears it again.
“All right, not a girlfriend. But a damn good friend, that’s for sure,” she giggles, looking back up at Elijah and trailing her fingers across his shoulder. My eyes zero in on the subtle movement as I fight to force back any erupting emotions.
“Got a thing for blondes, yeah?” I bite out sarcastically. I’m aware of the fact that both women I have met, who clearly have had a past with Elijah, are small, slender, and blonde. I’m not heavy by any means, not even overweight. I make time for the gym after what happened years ago. I make it a priority to work on my strength and stay in shape. I do, however, have curves and a larger chest than the average woman. I used to think that was a blessing until everything happened.
Now, seeing these women who have clearly attracted Elijah’s attention, I am suddenly self-conscious of all the ways I’m so drastically different. This couldn’t have been a worse pairing if it had been fucking planned.
A flash of anger licks at my chest before it quickly vanishes, making me believe it had to be Elijah’s. A small smirk lifts at my lips at the realization that I’ve gotten to him, even just a little. I’m not going to be the only one suffering through this.
“Yeah, I’ve got a thing for blondes. They do everything better, after all.” My own smirk dies a quick death at his sharp response.
The sound of Sam’s hyena-like giggles grate against my ears but I refuse to let the mask of a smirk leave my face. Christ, having a blood bond with Luna is akin to drowning in the ocean, in the midst of a tsunami. Over and fucking over again.
Saying that her emotions are overwhelming is an understatement. Every glance towards Sam is filled with jealousy. Every time her rich, chocolate brown eyes met my own, I feel a symphony of clashing emotions. Hatred, anger, arousal, desire, confusion.
It’s too much.
I left Nathanial’s house, fully aware of what it would do to the both of us, but honestly not giving a shit about it. I needed the space. The physical discomfort of being apart is nothing compared to the mental shit storm I’m dealing with after bonding myself to another female.
I have one defense against letting this bond between Luna and I go too far. One I hadn’t realized was going to be so beneficial until I found myself in this situation. When I Fell, my talent hadn’t immediately manifested. I wasn’t sure if one ever would, but I didn’t necessarily care to discover it either.
After Amelia severed our bond, I was destroyed. I didn’t think I would survive the physical aspect of ripping that part of my soul away, Angels rarely did. Which is laughable now that I think about it. It’s incredibly unfortunate that at one point in my life, I believed we were made for each other. Ironic, right? The person I wanted all those years ago, wasn’t intended for me and the person I don’t want, supposedly is. Just another kick in the ass on the way down.
Either way, in the weeks following our separation, I felt a new wave of strength develop inside of me. It was odd, it came out mostly whenever I’d see Amelia. It aided me in getting over her so quickly but started manifesting in other situations as well. At the capital, when the Cambion’s were attacking, or when I was on a mission to gather intelligence against Amelia’s warriors. Until I realized I could call on it when needed. It acted as a shield, an invisible barrier that I could manipulate around myself. It didn’t protect me completely, but it distracted others around me and manipulated situations in my favor. It also assisted me in shielding most of my emotions from my bond with Luna. It wasn’t foolproof, if she really dug hard enough and learned to utilize the blood bond to its full capability, she’d be able to see right through it. Especially as my Fated, I could never truly hide anything from her. But thankfully, she is inexperienced and young. She has no knowledge about our race or what her possible capabilities are, allowing me to take advantage when I need too.
Did it hurt, being away from Luna already? Fuck yes. But I’m able to control my personal shield enough to hide those emotions from her.
Nathanial sighs in frustration between the two of us, unsure of how to handle what is rapidly deteriorating. Luna chooses to ignore my heated comment as she anxiously runs her fingers through her long hair, still tangled and matted from earlier. Her clothes are a mess, covered in blood and torn in several places along her top. The girl needs a shower, badly.
“I need you to know that I’ll be heading back to my own apartment now. I have a job I need to get back to and I need to see my sister. I’m not changing my mind, so don’t waste your time trying to convince me to stay here.”
I scoff, “Sorry sweetheart, I don’t negotiate. You’re staying.”
“No, actually I’m not. Also? Awful effort there.”
“Quit your job. Say goodbye to your sister. Whatever the hell you have to do to clear your life in the city and bring your things here. You can’t stay away, it’s not safe.” In one sense, I’m lying. I would much rather her stay away. It would make things a hell of a lot easier for me. But I know if anyone catches word of a potential Fated, Luna will be taken out first. Especially if Amelia has any sort of idea after what happened in her mansion.
“Wait, why would she have to stay here?” Sam asks, an annoyed snarl resting on her lips. I glance down towards her, recognizing that she shouldn’t be a part of this conversation.
“Leave,” I state flatly as I dismissively nod to the door. A surprised yelp falls from her pouty lips.
“What? Why?”
“Because I’m telling you to go. You can come back later tonight, I’ll call you.” I clip the words out quickly and cross my arms over my chest. After watching me with disbelief for a brief moment, she turns on her heels and huffs out of the kitchen. I turn my eyes back to Nathanial and Luna who are watching with a mix of revulsion and sympathy.