Warning Track

by Meghan Quinn

  “Don’t tell me what to do or how I’m hurting. I’m fine. I know I lived on the couch for a while, but I’m fine now and I’m moving on, like you. We can’t dwell on the past. So, if you’ll excuse me, I have some dishes to do.”

  Jane pulled away and turned to the sink, while grabbing the sponge and working up a soap lather. She was so cold, so distant. There was no talking to her, no reasoning. He had never seen this side of her, ever. He didn’t even know this kind of side of her could exist.

  Frustration started to boil over Brady as he watched his now-heartless wife scrub away at the dishes.

  “You weren’t the only one who lost a baby that day. I did too, Jane. I fucking lost a baby too. Stop alienating me and let’s work on this together.”

  Jane’s back went stiff at the mention of the loss of their baby. Her head fell as she stopped scrubbing. Brady took that cue as a sign to pull her into his chest, but when he tried to give her warmth, she pulled away and screamed at him.

  “Don’t touch me. Just leave me the hell alone. I want nothing to do with you.”

  “Why?” Brady threw his arms up in the air. “Why? What the hell did I do?”

  “You got me pregnant!” Jane screamed. “If I had never gotten pregnant, then this never would have happened. I wouldn’t be living in this hell hole where I’m constantly reminded of what I lost.”

  Brady stepped back from Jane as he tried to comprehend what she was saying.

  “Are you blaming me for the baby’s death?”

  Jane wiped tears from her eyes and then looked up at him. “I don’t know, maybe.”

  “How could you….how could you even say that?” Brady’s voice caught in his throat. “I love you, Jane, but that comment is almost unforgiveable. You don’t mean that.”

  Jane shrugged her shoulders and said, “What does it matter? She is gone, forever.”

  Tossing the sponge in the sink, Jane took off for their room, leaving Brady speechless in the kitchen, wondering why Jane was blaming him for their baby’s death when he’d done nothing but love his baby girl and his wife.

  The next morning, on Christmas Eve, there was a letter on the counter with his name on it. He saw it while he was making his morning coffee, which used to be Jane’s job, but things had changed…everything changed the minute they didn’t hear their daughter’s heartbeat.

  Sitting at the bar in the kitchen, Brady picked up the letter as he sipped his coffee. Jane was nowhere to be found this morning, so he just assumed the letter was her letting him know where she was headed off to today. When he started reading it, he instantly felt ill.

  Jane was apparently trying to give him an early Christmas present…she was leaving him.

  I’m moving out, I’ll be back for my things later. Sorry about everything, it’s just not going to work. We’re too damaged to move on from this.

  - Jane

  Brady crumpled the letter, chucked it across the kitchen, and placed his head on the counter. Tears fell from his eyes as he tried to comprehend what was happening to his life.

  Too damaged? Of course they were damaged, but they were damaged together. Brady didn’t understand why she couldn’t see that, why she didn’t want to lean on him.

  As Brady looked around his house, he never thought in a million years that one day he would be sitting at his kitchen counter with a letter from his wife that completely broke his heart in two. There was no coming back from this; Brady didn’t think it was possible to repair their relationship. Jane had broken him to an irreparable state.

  Chapter Seventeen

  **Connor**

  “Lucy, wait! What are you doing? You’re going to hurt yourself.” Connor chased after Lucy as he watched her struggle with two big suitcases and a giant bag.

  “Just leave me alone, Connor.”

  “No, I will not. What the hell is going on?” Connor caught up to her as she was struggling to put her suitcase in her trunk. “Stop.” He grabbed the bag and set it on the ground, then turned her toward him. She was shaking as tears stained her eyes. “Lucy, what’s going on?”

  “I could ask you the same thing. Who was that?” Lucy pointed to the now-departing car.

  “That was Clarice.”

  “Clarice?” Lucy asked, as she turned her nose up at the girl’s name. “Who the hell is Clarice?”

  Connor looked down at his shoes as he tried to think of a way to get out of this without telling Lucy who Clarice really was.

  “She’s helping me with something.” Not very smooth, but that was the best he had.

  Lucy put her hands on her hips and repeated, “She’s helping you with something? Very original, Connor. I always thought of you as a suave kind of guy, but I guess when you’re caught red-handed you’re not so quick on your feet, now are you?”

  “Caught red-handed? What are you talking about?”

  “Don’t play dumb, Connor. Austin called me, he told me he saw you earlier having lunch with Miss Thing and now she’s conveniently coming back to your place?”

  Connor stepped away from Lucy as her words sunk in. The bastard Austin had called her, of course he had. Why would he miss out on an opportunity to try to screw up Connor’s relationship with Lucy? It was infuriating to have the man constantly sticking his nose in their business, but what was really raking Connor’s rage was the fact that Lucy had listened to the dickhead.

  “Wow, okay. So you think I’m cheating on you and you’re going to take Austin’s word for it. Good to know.” Connor picked up Lucy’s suitcases and threw them in her trunk and then slammed the lid. “Maybe I was right in trying to give us some time. Apparently, you can’t trust me, even though I’ve given you no reason not to.” Connor shook his head and then looked Lucy in the eyes. “I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. Not when you’re going to take another man’s word over mine, before you even give me the chance to set you straight. Good luck with the baby, Lucy. Even though I can’t stand to be near you right now, I know you’ll be a good mom. Oh, and just for the record, Clarice was helping me plan a baby shower for you at my place. That was why she was here, to check out the space.”

  Connor started walking toward his house, he needed space, and he needed to be as far away from Lucy as possible.

  “Connor, wait. I’m sorry.” Lucy chased after him. Just as Connor was turning around, he saw Lucy trip over the curb and face-plant right into the cement of the sidewalk, landing flat on her stomach. A cry escaped her mouth as she curled to the side and held onto her stomach.

  Without even thinking, Connor was at her side and picking her up in seconds. She cried into his arms as she held onto her stomach.

  “Are you okay?” Connor asked, as he walked her toward his car. He needed to get Lucy to the emergency room as soon as possible. If something happened to the baby, he would never forgive himself, even if the child was the spawn of the biggest dick in town.

  “No,” Lucy cried, as she held on to her stomach. “My stomach is hurting.”

  “Hurting how?” he asked as he buckled Lucy into his car.

  “Just hurting,” she said as she bent over in the car.

  Shit.

  Connor drove like a madman to the hospital and parked illegally, not giving two shits if his car got towed. He ran to Lucy’s side, opened the door and grabbed her.

  Frantically, Connor spoke to the nurse and told him exactly what happened. Quickly they wheeled Lucy into a room and put her in a robe. Connor sat next to her and grabbed her hand as she silently cried to herself.

  “Everything is going to be okay,” Connor said, as he prayed that he was right. There was no way their group of friends could lose two babies in a matter of weeks. Life wasn’t that cruel, was it?

  Thankfully, Dr. Cuevas was already at the hospital, so when she popped into their exam room, Connor felt relieved.

  She patted Lucy’s knee and said, “We’re going to take a quick look and see if everything is okay. Alright?”

  Lucy nodded her head as tears stream
ed down her face. Connor’s heart broke for her, even though he was incredibly mad at her. He didn’t want her to be in pain, to be hurting; he never would, no matter how mad he was at her.

  Dr. Cuevas squirted some gel on Lucy’s belly and turned on the ultrasound screen.

  “I’m going to look for any kind of internal bleeding or fluid buildup and, of course, we’re going to make sure the baby’s heart is at a steady beat.”

  Dr. Cuevas placed the wand on Lucy’s stomach and, almost instantly, a heartbeat rang through the room. Lucy sobbed into her hands as Connor squeezed her leg. The baby was okay. The baby was going to be okay.

  As Dr. Cuevas studied the ultrasound screen, Connor waited impatiently for any other information she could deliver. Connor tried to read what the ultrasound was saying, but he had no clue what the hell he was looking at. It was practically impossible for him to try to decipher anything.

  “There seems to be no fluid or bleeding from what I can tell, which is great. The pain you’re feeling is probably from shaking things up in there, but you have nothing to worry about, everything looks good. I do want you to be on bed rest for the next couple of days, though, just to make sure everything is alright. That means only getting up to go to the bathroom, everything else must be brought to you, but I’m sure Connor won’t have a problem with that, right?” She winked at Connor and he just smiled.

  “I’ll get a nurse to come in here and clean up those scrapes on your hands. The last thing we need is for you to get some kind of infection. Take it easy the next couple of days and have a good Christmas, you two.”

  “Thank you,” Lucy squeaked out in between tears.

  “Lucy, everything is okay, there’s nothing to worry about, okay?”

  Lucy just nodded her head as Dr. Cuevas walked out the door.

  Once the door was shut, Connor grabbed Lucy’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Lucy, look at me.”

  Slowly, she turned her head and looked at him. “Everything is going to be okay.”

  “No, it’s not,” she cried. “I’ve screwed up everything. I hurt you and treated you in a way that you never deserved to be treated. You’ve been nothing but good to me and I’ve broken your trust. And now I don’t have anywhere to live when I have to be on bed rest. The irony would almost be comical, if I wasn’t so upset.”

  Connor’s mind was reeling at what Lucy was saying, but what really stuck out was that she had nowhere to live.

  “What do you mean you have nowhere to live?”

  Lucy wiped away her tears as she pulled on her hospital gown. “I kind of terminated my rental agreement and had everything put in storage.”

  Confused, Connor asked, “Why would you do that?”

  “Because, I thought that maybe I would show you how much I’m in this relationship by moving in with you, but that was idiotic because I just went and screwed everything up. I want to blame it on my pregnancy brain, but I know that’s not the truth. I’m just an idiot.”

  “You wanted to move in?”

  “I did, I do, but I know that isn’t an option now. I’m just sorry that I hurt you…that I believed anything that Austin said. I just went crazy when I saw her, Clarice, walking up with you. I should have let you explain. I’m so sorry, Connor.”

  Even though Connor was still mad at Lucy, he couldn’t help but love her. She wanted to move in with him; she actually gave up her apartment. The thought made his heart leap forward at finally being able to be with his girl, day in and day out, not having to worry about which place they would be staying at. They could start making his house a home.

  Connor stood up and hovered over Lucy. He cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead. “I would be honored if you moved in with me.”

  The shock that ran across Lucy’s face was too cute. Connor loved this woman, even when she was driving him crazy, hurting him, and making him question their relationship. But he wouldn’t give it up for anything because, in return, when they had everything solved between them, she gave him a kind of love he had never experienced before. It was a deep, all-consuming love that set her apart from any woman he had ever been with before.

  “Are you serious?” she asked.

  “Yes, we have some serious talking to do, but I want you to live with me. I want you to be with me.”

  “But, I thought…”

  “I know what you thought and I thought the same thing, but for some godforsaken reason, I can’t stay away from you, Lucy. You’re my heart, my soul, and no matter how many fights we might get in, I will always love you, no matter what.”

  Lucy pulled Connor’s head down to hers and kissed him on the lips. “I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I don’t deserve you, but I will spend every last minute on this earth making sure you know how much I appreciate you, love you, and care for you. You’re it for me, Connor. You’re mine.”

  “You’re mine, too.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Let’s just enjoy this moment for now and we’ll work everything out later.”

  Lucy nodded her head as she kissed Connor. They explored each other’s mouths as they made up for some lost time. Even though the girl drove him to brink of driving off a cliff, he would never be able to fully let go of her. She had buried herself in his heart; there was no way he would be able to rid of her, and he wouldn’t even want to. She was his heart.

  **Luke**

  “Are you ready for this?” Molly asked, as there was a knock at their apartment door.

  “I think. How do I look?”

  Molly laughed and said, “I’m pretty sure she could care less how you look. All she’ll care about is if you know how to sip imaginary tea while banging her buckets with wooden spoons.”

  “Sounds challenging, but I think I can handle it,” Luke said with a smirk.

  Molly placed a gentle kiss on his lips and then went to the front door.

  Nervous could be a good way to describe how Luke was feeling, but not entirely accurate. All at once he felt like jumping around the room in glee, throwing up, and wanting to hide in a hole. He was meeting his daughter for the first time on Christmas Eve. He couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas present. He knew what Winnie looked like, but he didn’t know her personality, he didn’t know what she liked, and he sure as hell didn’t know how she would react to him. Molly let him know that she loved Connor, so she would naturally love Luke…Luke could only be so hopeful. One of his biggest fears was that his daughter was going to be scared of him. He didn’t think he could deal with scaring his daughter, he didn’t want to see fear in her eyes; it was one of the reasons he was hesitant about meeting her.

  “Mamamama,” came an angelic voice from the hallway. Luke gripped his fists tightly as he waited to see Winnie.

  Molly came around the corner, holding their daughter. Their daughter, the concept was almost too much for him to handle. Luke’s parents just dropped Winnie off because they knew Molly and Luke needed some privacy, but Luke almost wanted them to stay to help combat the awkward feeling he was experiencing.

  Looking down into Molly’s arms, Luke made eye contact with the same eyes he was born with and a headful of blonde curls. The little cherub face that looked up at him was full of joy.

  “Hi,” Luke said lamely, but he didn’t know what else to do.

  A high-pitched squeal came out of Winnie’s mouth as she leaned toward Luke and held out her arms. Shocked that his daughter wanted to be held by him, he grabbed ahold of her and held her tightly in his arms. She bounced up and down and played with his nose as they both examined each other.

  A lone tear ran down Luke’s cheek as he held onto his daughter for the first time. There was no mistaking it…she had his looks with her mom’s crazy spirit. She was, no doubt, the perfect combination of Luke and Molly.

  “Hi, pretty girl,” Luke practically whispered, as she yanked on his nose and giggled. He looked up at Molly and said, “She’s perfect.” Tears streamed down Molly’s face as she nodded and smiled. “So dam
n perfect.”

  “Damndamndamndamn.”

  “Oh shit, she can pick up on things?” Luke asked, while cringing.

  “Yes, so saying ‘shit’ probably isn’t the best idea.”

  “Shishishishi,” Winnie repeated, as she threw her hands up in the air, making both Luke and Molly laugh.

  “Why don’t you give Daddy a kiss, Winnie?”

  Daddy, it was a name Luke wasn’t sure he would ever be called, especially when he was captured, lying naked on a cold warehouse floor, wondering what was going to happen to him next, but here he was, holding his daughter in his hands, crying like a chick and never feeling happier in his life.

  “Go ahead, give Daddy a kiss,” Molly repeated.

  Winnie leaned forward and presented her forehead to Luke. Luke raised an eyebrow at Molly, making her laugh.

  “That’s her way of kissing, you’re supposed to kiss her forehead.”

  Luke laughed and obliged. Once he pulled away, Winnie clapped her hands and wiggled to get down. Reluctantly, Luke set her down on the floor. Before he could turn to Molly to congratulate her on teaching their daughter how to kiss without using her lips, Winnie grabbed his pinky with her chunky fingers and ran toward her bedroom. Even though her running was more like clomping up and down the hallway, he went with her.

  Once they reached her room, she sat him down on the floor and grabbed her tea set. She placed everything in front of him and then went to a bin that had what looked like a boa in it. She grabbed the long feather wrap and put it around Luke’s neck, then put a white floppy hat on his head. When she stood back and looked at him, she clapped her hands again.

  Luke laughed as she put on a crown and long satin gloves that hung off her arms like creepy monster fingers. It was quite comical to watch her try to pour “tea” into his cup with the oversized gloves hanging off her arms, but it was a precious memory Luke was ingraining in his head. Luke sat cross-legged on his daughter’s floor, playing dress up and having tea while his girl, his love, watched from the doorway with a giant smile on her face as she snapped pictures on her phone. Luke didn’t care what kind of incriminating evidence she gathered. He was damn proud of what he looked like right now and who he was with. He would go through two more years of torture just to have another moment like this with Winnie. She was perfect, her mom was perfect, and at the moment, Luke’s life was perfect.