He stood back a moment, looking at his reflection. Long, narrow face with a straight nose-bridge, deep-set green eyes and sandy hair. Well-molded lips and a slightly crooked smile. He was not too bad. He blinked, closing the green eyes for a moment. How had he forgotten that?
“I guess I don't see anyone else, much.” Callum said to himself, turning away from the mirror again. That was probably it. And that was what was worrying him.
“I just don't know anyone I like.” Callum said to himself, going back to the kitchen again.
It was true. No one he had met had ever appealed to him. He knew he preferred men and always had, but none of the men he had met had ever, really, sparked anything inside him. The ones who were clever and funny were either taken already or had difficult personalities, and the ones who were not clever he couldn't really connect with. He often told himself that he was in the wrong, that it must be his fault. Other people found partners and were happy, after all. Of all his friends, he seemed to be the only one still alone. At twenty-eight, maybe that was not such an emergency, but it was starting to feel like one.
“Stop being silly.” He said to himself again, sternly, fixing the reflection in the window over the sink with a stern gaze. He laughed. No wonder the lab technicians and students were scared of him...he could be really scary when he was cross.
Back in the kitchen, Callum rolled his shoulders as he reached to his plate and cup in the cupboard. His back was stiff. He shouldn't have worked out so much at the judo class the other night. He still felt wrecked.
The pasta was boiling furiously, and Callum took it off the heat, then prepared the sauce. He finished the preparations and cleared a space at the table.
As he ate, he realized that the meal was in fact quite well-made. It was, he reflected, as he finished his dinner, a real shame that he had no one with whom to share it. But he so much wanted someone with whom he could share other, deeper things as well.
Callum sighed. A man who would be right for him...he was not sure that such a person existed on this Earth.
Chapter 3
The library was flooded with morning light on the day when Kai sat at the long central desk, poring over the documents laid out on the table before him there.
“No way!” His boyish laugh echoed up the corridor, making the passing attendants smile. He was alone, but clearly could not help the odd exclamation over whatever he read.
Over the past week or so, he had found himself in much better humor. He could still not quite believe what his father had planned to do – in fact, he did not believe it. He had simply decided that it must all be some sort of tall story, an elaborate prank. He would simply deny it, and perhaps it would never happen.
Still, he could not help but be slightly curious, and so he had gone to the library with the list of files his father had given him – files about his intended partner, all the information their Council's employees had been collecting since Kai's birth.
Now, with the sun streaming in behind him, Kai sat reading the files, half-amused, half-fascinated. There was a character description, a list of education and employment, a log of his childhood homes, towns and achievements – and some pictures. Kai wanted to have a look at these, just from interest – he had not actually seen a genuine specimen of humans before, only generic images in texts – but he could not figure out how to open the files.
“Kai?”
Kai looked up and blinked, the voice cutting through his concentration.
“Oh.” He smiled, pleased.
Leoris stood there. Tall and curly-haired, with pale eyes and a crooked smile, Leoris was a close companion of Kai, and the son of an important Councilor at court.
“Hi.” Leoris smiled. “Busy?”
“Maybe.” Kai smiled. “Come in, come in.” He swept clear a place on the illuminated screen-top of the table before him, and Leoris sat down beside him.
“What's happening?” Leoris asked. “You missed one serious party the other night.” He smiled and continued. “It was in your honor, but you couldn't be there. We drank for you.”
Kai laughed. “Good.” He ruffled Leoris' hair in a brotherly way, then punched him on the arm. Leoris pushed him, and the two play-wrestled a moment. Fast, strong and fair, Kai was the best-beloved companion of them all.
“I was with my father.” Kai provided, as they sat back, suddenly serious.
“Bad news?” Leoris guessed, his wide pale eyes screwed up in sudden care.
“No.” Kai stroked his shoulder, grateful for the care he evidenced. “No. Well, kind of.” Animated again, Kai called up the documents he had been reading earlier. “You have a look at this. Tell me what you think.”
After a moment of silent contemplation, Leoris looked up. “What is this?”
“What do you think of it?” Kai asked.
“Well...he's very...human?” Leoris suggested, weakly.
“Exactly!” Kai laughed. “Just what I thought. And the worst kind, too.”
“Worst kind?” Leoris asked, faintly. “That's pretty scary.”
“No...not like that!” Kai smiled. “Well, that is, the reports say he washes, and he can count, and he is not violent. Not very, anyhow.” Kai wrinkled his nose. “He eats flesh, though. And he works in a laboratory.”
“What's that?”
“You know...” Kai waved vaguely. “Like Eloris and the mages, only...not like that.”
“So...kind of boring?” Leoris hazarded.
Kai laughed, and ruffled his hair again. “Precisely.”
“Okay...” Leoris ventured. “So...we have a bunch of details about a boring human man, who seems non-violent, generally okay. What is this for?”
“He's my future partner.” Kai said, quickly, before he could swallow it.
“No!” Leoris exclaimed. He leaned back. “Kai...”
“Yes.” Kai nodded. “My wise, saintly father did this to me, before I was even born. And I just have to accept it.” He spat angrily. Suddenly, all the wry humor about it had gone, and his deep-seated anger was bubbling up from under the facade, threatening to overcome him. His pale face was almost white with anger and sadness.
“Kai...” Leoris put out a hand, resting it gently on his shoulder.
“What?” Kai said, harshly. His voice was raw, tear-filled, and heavy with suppressed anger. It shivered through his body, making him feel ill.
“This is...not that bad.” Leoris began, hesitant.
“You can say that!” Kai exploded. “You have it easy! You can stay here and marry who you like...”
“That's not quite true. You know Elphim and I have been Promised since birth...”
“You love Elphim!” Kai exclaimed.
“Yes. It's true. I do.” Leoris bowed in acknowledgment. His voice was choked.
“I'm sorry.” Kai said at once. Impulsive, his moods changed from anger to care in no time.
“It's okay.” Leoris rested a hand on his shoulder. They sat for quite some time.
“You know, though, Kai...” Leoris began again. “Love is not about what's on paper. About suitability and all that.” He swallowed.
“What?” Kai asked, wanting to hear more.
“Just...” Leoris swallowed. “Elphim and I love each other, but you couldn't see people more different, right?”
Kai chuckled. It was true. With straight hair almost the color of Kai's, and a rounded face with bright eyes, Elphim was a light among all of them – mischievous and changeable, inspiring and maddening at once. Leoris was, in contrast, sarcastic and serious, and beautiful. The two of them looked nothing alike, and were nothing alike. Elphim's parents even came from the other side of the planet. They were ambassadors, and Elphim had lived at court since birth. He and Leoris had been promised since they were children, and spent almost all their time together. The love had grown between them, in childhood games and fights, and they were inseparable.
Kai sighed. Leoris was right. Love was not about paperwork. Not about suitability. Not abo
ut the same family, the same background, even the same origin in space and time. Love could be anything, and come from anywhere. It had no borders or constraints. No mage had any idea what it was, but they all smiled when you mentioned it, as if it was the greatest, most mysterious power in the universe. Perhaps it was.
“You're right.” Kai said again. Leoris smiled. They sat together for a time, watching the sun play on the fountains as the day lengthened into dusk.
When Leoris left that evening, Kai had decided. He would do as his father had asked, and take a trip to Earth.
The last light fell behind Crymen's chair, where he sat in shadow, his dark cloak swathing him, keeping out the cold. Kai stood before him in his audience-chamber, feeling worried. He was there to hear his father's last instructions before Kai left for his trip to Earth.
He stood before the chair, allowing his eyes to accustom to the half-dark in the room, and tried not to show how worried he felt.
“Now, Kai, remember that you should never, under any circumstance, let a human know what you are. They would hate you.”
Kai blinked, feeling sudden, unexpected tears prick in the corners of his eyes.
“Father..? But...”
“No buts,” said his father, gently. “I know about these things. You would be better off here, of course, with me...but...”
“Father. I cannot not tell him...”
“You must not. His kind would revile you. I mean, really...”
Kai bridled at that. What was that supposed to mean? Could his father really expect that he would kidnap this man, with whom he was supposed to spend the rest of his days? That he should spend his time yoked to someone who hated him, simply because the governors of Cyanos decreed?
“Father, I cannot accept that.”
“Son!” His father's voice was harsh, and Kai stiffened, recognizing the man whose voice could fill council chambers and bring planetary rulers to order.
“Yes.” Kai looked down, his voice a choked whisper. His father was right. To a human being, he would be repulsive, ugly. How could he expect that a human would love him? It was an angle he had not even considered. From believing humans to be vile and primitive, he had suddenly undergone a turnaround, believing utterly that humans would revile him.
“But...will I be safe?” He asked in a small voice.
His father gave a mirthless huff of laughter. “That depends. If you tell someone, if you are honest, I cannot guarantee it. But you are of my house. We are not afraid.”
“No, father.” Kai said in the same whispered voice.
“Very well.” His father suddenly relaxed into his seat, and reached out to pat Kai's arm in the closest thing to a gesture of affection he had shown him since his birthday.
Kai felt what was left of his heart break. His father was kind. How could he have even thought to rebel against him? His father was all he had, all he could trust. No-one else would love him like his father did, especially in this hostile world to which he must travel. He would be utterly alone.
“Go and see the mages, now, dear.” Kai's father said, softly. “They have much to tell you to prepare for your long journey.”
“Yes, Father.” Kai nodded, and bowed his head, accepting his father's decision. His father rested a withered hand on his pale-brown hair, and Kai accepted the blessing. He walked out of the room, eyes wet with unshed tears.
He did not go straight to the Conserve to find the Mages, but went first to his chambers. There, the blueish light of evening was already soaking in through the windows, swallowing the place in deep charcoal shades.
“I wish I did not have to do this.” Kai said to the pale sky outside the window, where the one moon of Cyanos was already high in the sky. Sometimes, on his birthday, they both appeared together, and Kai always felt that was a lucky sign.
“I wish someone was here who truly cared for me.” Kai said, quietly, into the silence of his chamber. He looked up at the portrait of his other parent, his father's lover Kytharis. With the same pale hair and violet eyes as Kai, he smiled down, a meltingly-lovely expression of care on his gentle face.
Kai wished he could have known him, but he had died shortly after Kai's birth, a heart-failure. He had, Kai was told, always been delicate, not destined, it seemed, to live a long lifetime. Kai wished he had lived long enough to meet him face to face. They would, it seemed, have had much in common.
“Only Father cares for me, now you are gone. Who else would love me?” He said sadly to the portrait.
He could have sworn he saw it blink, then, as if the painting were confused.
“You think someone could love me?” Kai said to the portrait, harshly. “I am just a spoiled princely child. I am sure even my father scorns me.”
Again, the eyes of the portrait seemed to move, to grow large in reproach. Kai shook his head. It was late, and he was seeing things. Besides, he had so much to do. There were the Mages to visit, and arrangements to make with Administration and packing.
“I should go and see them now.” He said to the empty room. He went to his wardrobe, which opened with the touch of a finger, and selected a cloak of deep navy in a soft, velvety cloth, which hung down his back to the floor. It would at least keep him warm on his way to see the mages.
“If I have to do this thing, I have to do it.” Kai said, resignedly, as he walked across the velvet-fine carpet to the door. “I don't expect to enjoy it, or to find love. But I will do it. The will of the Council above us all.”
He bowed ironically to the deep blue silence which cloaked his apartments, and walked silently down the corridor to the main doors of the complex.
Chapter 4
“Hold on. Hold your breath. Count to ten. Will yourself out and down where you want to go.”
Kai repeated the words of the Mage, Eloris, who had set him on this craft to Earth. The engines were whirring perceptibly as the craft accelerated, changing its course slightly. Most of the time, it was silent, but now the incessant whir ached in Kai's head, making him only half remember the instructions from the Mage.
He had said something about thought being the only thing that could go across the galaxy in an instant, and so he had to think himself to Earth. He was doing his best. It was programmed to get there, anyway, he reassured himself – the thought was just to make it go faster.
Kai shook his head, feeling as if his very bones were rattling. It felt like years since he had set out from Cyanos, but it could not have been as long as it felt, he reassured himself. The journey was not actually that long, when one could travel at speeds close to the speed of light. Kai was not sure how the mages made it happen, but it seemed to be happening, because he could not have been on here for longer than a month, and yet it seemed they were getting somewhere.
At least, he had to believe they were getting closer. For the last while, the controls had been assuring him that they were “approaching Earth.” He was skeptical, worried and excited. He did not want to look out of the window, and see the distant speck grow bigger. He felt unready. Part of him wanted just to stay here, forever, to never make that final step.
“I don't want to know.” Kai told himself, as he felt his feet twitch, almost of their own volition, towards the window. He did not want to look out, but he also could not stop himself from doing it.
“There it is.”
Kai swallowed. There was, if he looked carefully, an almost-perfectly-round orb appearing on the horizon, growing larger by the minute. That must be it.
“No.” Kai heard himself utter the denial as he turned.
Kai walked away from the window, which showed him something with seas and strange, swirling clouds. It was not, he reflected, that different from their own planet – nowhere that supported life would be that different, he assured himself – but the problem was what humans had done to it.
As he walked back to the controls, he thought about what he had been told. On Cyanos, they had stopped exploiting their planet over a hundred years ago, when the Enlighten
ment had happened. At least two generations had passed since then, and the new way was so entrenched now, no-one could imagine a time when they did things in other ways.
On Earth, he had been told, while the exploiting had not quite reached the peak it had on Cyanos – the humans being less technologically advanced – they showed no sign of stopping. Their planet was dying, too, he was sure, destined to become a lifeless place.
Kai could feel the craft start to undergo a change in motion, and he hoped that their mages knew what they were doing. He did not want to be stuck orbiting this thing, he reflected, but actually wanted to land. He was told they had made sure it would take him to where his intended was, but that it would be “helpful” if he were to think of him as the craft fell towards the earth, to assure that he ended up there.
“Well.” Kai swallowed, dryly. He tried to think about his destination, and the man he was seeking, but as yet no image would come. He was too nervous.
The series of bleeps from the control-room let Kai know the landing process was starting. Here was the point at which he was supposed to start thinking. He walked to his position, in the center of the craft, closed his eyes, and willed himself down towards Callum.
“I can see you...I can...” he whispered to himself, trying to make his mind conjure the image of the man he was travelling to meet. It was not as easy as he had thought it would be, as his heart was overwhelmed with nerves, and his mind wanted to stay blank.
As the craft accelerated, and the sudden changes made him feel ill, Kai filled his mind with the picture of the man he was meant to meet. The last image he saw, before he passed out, was of green eyes, looking back at him, full of concern.
“Uh...my head...” Kai heard himself groan, as if from a long way away. He sat, and lay back down again. His head was filled with a splintered pain, as if someone had beaten it, hard. His whole body was exhausted, and felt bruised and battered. He sat again, more slowly, and found that he could hold the posture.
Celestial Seductions: The Complete Series: An MM Gay Paranormal Mpreg Romance Collection Page 14