by Ally Hayes
“So, I guess your family is pretty close with the neighbors next door?” Jackie asked. She was truly curious since they had no real neighbors to speak of as their house was set far back on a county road. The Fosters lived in what she heard was called a sub-division. Also, she decided she didn’t want to be silent with him. She hoped he would see her as fun and not serious today. It was a side of herself she was working on.
“Oh, yup. That’s the Barone’s.” Matt pointed to the house next door. “Joey’s our age and has two sisters who are around a couple of my sisters’ ages. Our parents get along, and we all get to hang out and go back and forth whenever we want. Open house—or gate, I guess—policy.”
“That sounds great. We don’t have a neighborhood like this,” Jackie remarked.
“So I’ve heard.”
She knew he didn’t mean anything by it, but the comment left her wondering what else he had “heard” about her. She followed him to the neighbor’s yard.
“Guys,” Matt addressed the group as they approached, “I got Jackie here to play. We’re even four-on-four now. I’ll be on this side with Megan, Melanie, and Jackie. You guys will be Joey, Melissa, Jill, and Jenny. Meredith is off sucking face, so I’m not going to ask her to play.”Joey nodded. “Don’t worry about it, but I got two more guys to join. You get Chris, and we’ll take Steve.”
Jackie suddenly became nervous as she looked around at her team. She had met Matt’s twin sisters before and they seemed nice. She deduced the dark-haired boy on the other side of the net was Joey Barone and assumed the two girls who looked like him, except for the thick eyebrows, thankfully, must be his sisters. One looked older, one younger; it was hard to tell. Either way, they looked tough to her.
“Here they come, finally. Hey, get your asses out here!” Joey yelled as an aluminum bulkhead door flew open and two teenage-looking boys appeared laughing and stumbling.
“Hold your horses, sweetheart, we’re coming,” the one who turned out to be Chris, her team’s fifth, said or rather, slurred.
The game went well. Jackie was happy that she was a skilled player, and Matt seemed to admire her competitive nature. When it was over, due to Steve claiming, “This blows,” Matt high-fived Jackie, and she instantly felt something. She stood still and actually looked at her hand like it might appear differently. Matt must have noticed.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Thought I had a blister,” she lied and looked back up at him. “I’m fine.”
“Hey, you two, we’re going to Barone’s basement!” Steve yelled.
“Do you want to go?” Matt turned to Jackie, his eyes suddenly paralyzing her.
“What’s going on down there?” she asked.
“I don’t know yet.”
He felt she was agreeing by the look on her face, so he started to walk toward the bulkhead doors. Sure enough, she followed.
The mustiness of the cellar was masked by a thin film of sweet smoke hanging in the air like a veneer. Jackie spotted Matt’s oldest sister, Meredith, sitting on the lap of a teenage boy with floppy hair. There were about five or six others who were not at the volleyball game.
“You in?” Joey asked Matt seemingly out of nowhere.
“No thanks.”
“Seriously?”
Matt shook his head definitively and tried to avoid meeting Jackie’s gaze, knowing she would ask what that little exchange was about.
“You know, I’m starving. Let’s go back out and get a burger or something,” he announced quickly to Jackie but loud enough to give the others a message.
Jackie was relieved to leave the basement and led the way back to daylight and through the gate to the actual party yard. They filled their plates and found an empty, weather-beaten picnic table. They talked about movies they each saw that summer and how much they hated to go back to school. Well, Jackie only agreed because she knew that was what you were supposed to say. In truth, she couldn’t wait for school to start. Matt was easy to talk with, or listen to really. She mostly nodded her head and had to remind herself to seem witty, not distant. His eyes were making her forget to chew, never mind speak. She couldn’t decide if she was thankful or disappointed when her mother came over to them.
“Ready to go, Jacqueline? I’ll just go say our goodbyes to Matthew’s parents, and you can meet us at the car,” Patty said to both of them.
“Guess I have to go now. Thanks for sticking with me today. I’m sure I kept you from your friends.”
“No problem, really. I’m with them all the time.” He sounded like he wanted to say more and was holding back.
“Well, thanks.” Jackie got up to leave and was surprised when Matt walked her to the gate. She got brave.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” Matt replied with an audible catch in his throat.
“Down in the basement, what was Joey asking you to do when you declined?”
“You really want to know?” He looked at her and proceeded when she nodded. “Well, he asked us to play spin the bottle.”
“Oh, wow.” She didn’t know what to say or do with the information. She wanted to thank him for sparing her the humiliation but couldn’t find the words. Her mouth hung open.
Matt seemed to understand. “Yeah, I know,” he agreed.
“I’m glad you said no,” she said quietly as she opened the gate to leave.
“I had to. I couldn’t stand it if someone else got to kiss you first.” He was looking down at his feet as he said the words, but she could feel his eyes.
Chapter Four
Jackie
Seventh grade brought a lot of changes. Jackie was still at the same school and would be for another year, but everything seemed different now. The boys strutted through the halls between classes acting goofy and showing off. The girls giggled and were concerned about their appearances. Jackie was sad that it felt like it had become a competition for the boys’ attention. She missed everyone being friends and silly together, not so worried how they might seem. Her best friend, Brianna, seemed to be getting sucked in worst of all. To avoid being excluded, Jackie found herself discussing nail polish color, movie stars, and pop music. She quickly learned which albums to buy at the mall and the cool radio stations to talk about and which were definitely not to be mentioned at the lunch table. Mandatory school uniforms kept the playing field level during the weekdays, but attending weekend lacrosse games meant arriving in just the right outfit.
On the night before Christmas break, the school hosted a “dateless” dance. Although it had been advertised as such, there was a lot of asking by the boys if they would “see you there?” Jackie went as planned with Brianna who was quickly led onto the dance floor by an eighth-grade boy, leaving Jackie to wander aimlessly. Drew attempted to talk to her over a loud, fast song. She politely smiled at the popular boy as she could only catch a word here and there. When the DJ transitioned to a slow James Taylor hit, she agreed to his sincere, if not ineloquent, “wanna?”
From having previously watched at a distance, she had at least seen what to do once out there. She draped her arms around his neck as he placed his sweaty palms on her hips. They kept a foot of space between them, shuffling back and forth, neither one knowing what to do or where to look next. Hating the awkwardness, she allowed her mind to drift to thoughts of Matt as it had a habit of doing the last few months. Ever since the barbeque, she had been imaging them together. Drew was nice and cute and all the girls in her class thought he was a “babe.” She tried to remember that and hoped the flashback of Matt’s grin would disappear from her foremost thoughts.
They danced a few more times, and in between slow songs her friends would join her to group dance to the tacky music. She was getting a lot of attention, and even though she liked it, it felt uncomfortable at the same time.
“Oh, my God, Drew likes you.” Several girls surrounded her to announce the newsflash.
Jackie shrugged her shoulders. “I guess.”
; “No, I mean, like, likes you, likes you,” Sydney explained.
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” She knew she had to seem more interested than she actually was or risk being snubbed. “He’s cute though.”
Brianna rolled her eyes. “Well, duh. He’s the cutest!”
Drew reappeared to ask Jackie to dance the last song of the night together—the biggie. A painfully long rock ballad and they had to talk through it.
“Do you want to go out?” Drew asked.
“Yes, sure,” Jackie answered quickly. Too quickly for her to realize he did not mean to go outside to get some air or see if their parents were waiting for them yet. He meant “go out.” Now they were going out, they were a couple. That was all it took, apparently.
“Okay, cool.” He pulled her closer to finish the dance as a couple, sweaty, nervous pre-teens dating.
“Thanks, Drew,” Jackie said as soon as the song finally trailed off. She let her arms go limp and planned to leave the school gym as fast as possible.
“I’ll walk you out.” As he said this, he took her hand and intertwined their fingers—they were going out now.
She dropped his hand quickly. “My dad’s here. I have to go now.”
“Okay, I’ll call you,” he called out after her, but she was already opening the car door.
Relieved there would be no more school until after the New Year and therefore no chance of seeing Drew face to face, she turned at the last second muttering a weak “Okay” before ducking into her father’s sedan.
“Who was that?” Robert teased.
“Nobody,” she snapped.
Robert knew enough to keep quiet for the rest of the trip home.
The next morning Jackie had a phone call from Brianna.
“Like, is there any truth to the rumor that you and Drew are going out? A bunch of girls were whispering about it as we were leaving last night.”
“I guess we are; he asked me out while we were dancing.”
“Wow. Do you know how cool that is? I can’t believe I had to get a ride home with dorky Mark just because he lives closer. Now I’m the last to know. Whatever, this is so awesome!” Brianna was squealing.
“I don’t know, I think I should tell him it was a mistake.”
“Are you kidding? This is the awesomest. You’re like instantly popular and cool. In fact, now you’ll probably get a Christmas gift from him. Let’s go to the mall today so you can get him one too. I’ll help.” Brianna was clearly enjoying this new relationship more than Jackie.
Jackie agreed to go, since she still wanted to pick up a few gifts. A candle for her mom and her dad a tape of the classical music he preferred. Brianna’s mother drove and allowed them two hours alone with instructions to meet her back at the anchor department store in the shoe department. Since that was their starting point, Jackie wondered if Brianna’s mom just chose it as an easy exit or if she’d actually be spending two hours trying on shoes?
The girls talked and walked through the stores, browsing more than buying. As all mall excursions required, they ultimately headed for the food court. While in line for frozen yogurts, they spotted a bunch of eighth-grade girls pointing at Jackie before bursting into a fit of giggles. Uncomfortable with her new popularity, Jackie quickly turned away from their stares. She discovered the reason for the attention when only five minutes later she saw Drew and another boy inside a lingerie store. Mortified, she grabbed Brianna’s hand and dragged her out of sight..
Drew called that night.
“Do you want to go to the movies Sunday night?”
Jackie had heard a lot of kids were planning on going, since Monday was Christmas Eve and most of Westhaven Country Day would escape to the Caribbean or Aspen until school resumed. She weighed her options and agreed, knowing there would be safety in a crowd and she could possibly put an end to this nonsense before it got out of hand.
Patty drove Jackie and Brianna and, against her better judgment, left them at the entrance to the theater. Robert planned to pick them up at nine-thirty sharp.
Patty was a wreck. For months, she had been listening to Ann prattle on about her girls’ dating and social habits. Ann matter-of-factly informed Patty that junior high was when it all began—the kissing and groping and other “stuff.” It surprised Patty, and it struck her that it was starting so early. She had hoped Jacqueline would be an exception. She took a deep breath as she drove away from the theater.
Jackie was a bigger wreck. She wished she could explain it to someone. It would be too embarrassing to tell her mom, and Brianna would never understand. Brianna was thrilled for her and hoped Drew would bring his friend, Paul. Jackie going out with Drew was the best thing that had happened to Brianna all year.
They bought their tickets and sodas and quickly found their group of friends, including Drew and Paul. They entered the theater as a group, but the pairings were obvious once they reached the aisles. Brianna manipulated it so that she sat next to both Jackie and Paul. Drew took Jackie’s hand as soon as the lights went down. She let him, but her hand was as unresponsive as her heart. She leaned more toward her girlfriend than Drew. He held her hand firmly then moved an arm over her shoulders, trying to nudge her closer to him. She feared what would come next. When he leaned in to kiss her, she distracted him by asking a question about the movie. His second attempt was thwarted by going for a sip of her soda. As the credits rolled, and he tried one last time, she turned to put on her jacket.
“Is it because there are other people here?” Drew asked.
“I guess, I don’t know. Um, maybe.” She winced at sounding like an airhead. Jackie prided herself on her composure which was failing her now.
They stayed in their seats while the theater emptied. Brianna and Paul finally got the message and walked out too. Brianna shot a sharp look as she scooted past. Jackie looked at her watch. Nine-fifteen. They still had time. When she looked up, he was coming at her. She closed her eyes. She didn’t know what to do. His lips touched hers but didn’t leave when she thought they should. In fact, they were opening! Still as a statue, she waited for it to be over, while he desperately tried to kiss her “the real way.” She pulled back, needing to stop whatever he was trying to do.
“What’s wrong with you?” Drew demanded.
“Nothing,” Jackie whispered.
“Right. I’m outta here.” Drew didn’t even look back as he stomped toward the illuminated exit sign. Jackie waited unnecessarily long to make sure he was gone but was forced to venture out when the maintenance crew came in.
She found Brianna and followed her out to her dad’s car already waiting at the curb. When they got to the Brianna’s house, she grabbed Jackie’s arm, asking her to promise to call and tell her everything. Jackie nodded. It would be a short phone call.
Christmas came and went. The Hamilton family spent the three days after the holiday skiing at one of Robert’s partner’s condominiums. New Year’s Eve morning back at home, Patty announced she was going to Ann’s house to help her set up for her annual party that night. Patty had previously declined the invitation, explaining that she, Robert, and Jackie always ordered in Chinese food and watched classic movies. For the past few years, they had rung in the New Year by opening their fortune cookies.
“I wouldn’t be sober enough to read it,” Ann had responded, unable to stifle her laughter at the lame family-time festivities. She had pleaded with Patty but to no avail. At least she convinced her to help set up and finish some projects she had started on her own.
“Can I come help, too?” Jackie asked, surprising herself as much as her mother with this unusual request.
“I don’t see why not. Sure, the more the merrier.” Patty was encouraged by Jackie’s reaching out and touched by her desire to spend time with her mother.
The mother-daughter duo arrived carrying a new tablecloth to mask Ann’s beat-up dining room table. It was an elegant brocade, not something Ann would have picked out herself.
“Happy New Year
!” Patty proclaimed as she handed the package to Ann.
“Oh, Patty, now I insist you come tonight. No excuses. Jackie, tell your mom you all want to come. She’ll have a blast and so will you. All the neighborhood kids will be here—in the basement, of course—playing cards, dancing, and who knows what else. They tell me we have the best parties. You both need to let loose. No offense.” Ann had her hands on her hips which indicated she meant business.
“Thanks, Ann, really…”
“It sounds like fun, Mom.”
Surprised once again by her daughter’s reaction, Patty could feel herself caving. “Well, let me think about it.”
They arrived for the second time that day at eight-thirty p.m. Again, they were fashionably late as Patty gathered from the degree of drunkenness of the hosts and guests alike. Robert quickly scoped out the scene and found the one guy he had talked to the previous summer. Brad, an investment banker, was also forced to attend the Foster’s party. They found solace in the scotch Robert managed to bring from home, and later when Brad produced cigars, they had the excuse they needed to disappear outside.
Patty got swept up in helping rescue the second round of hot appetizers. She was glad to have something productive to do, and it gave her the façade of cheerfulness as she arranged pigs in a blanket on a tray.
Jackie wasn’t sure what to do for a few minutes, until she saw Ann pointing to a door in the kitchen and she realized it must lead to the basement. She waved thanks and took a deep breath before descending the steps. As if by radar, she spotted Matt instantly and felt her cheeks burn. He was sitting at a table full of boys playing some kind of card game. Grasping that she couldn’t just go over to him, she began scanning the rest of the basement. There were a bunch of girls huddled around a boom box and a pile of cassette tapes. They appeared to be arguing. Not wanting to walk into a fight, she stood there numbly trying to find a familiar face; there were so many more strange ones here tonight. Remembering her father’s advice from the cookout, she looked for a table of drinks only to discover an actual built-in bar at the far wall. It was a throwback; gold flecked Formica atop Naugahyde sides. Swivel stools were occupied by some older teenagers. She approached and was prepared to ask the “bartender” for a soda when he startled her.