“I didn’t want you to think I was a wuss.” His eyes keep sliding away from mine and his shoulders twitch, bunching and unbunching. He’s spooked, and I hate it.
I plop down on the ground, lying back so the vegetation towers above me. Sticks poke me from every direction and I imagine the excitement of the ants at the sudden appearance of a giantess to explore. Twisting a blade of sweet grass loose from its sheath I bite down, releasing honey on my tongue-tip, and wait for Aidan to join me.
He kneels next to me, hesitating. I tug him down so his head rests in the crook of my shoulder and close my eyes. “Spill it.”
“I’m standing in this empty paved lot,” he begins. “On my left is a redwood forest with birds chirping and moss growing and stuff. On the right is an abandoned parking garage and I walk toward it…I want to see if there’re any junk cars in there. In front of the garage is a cracked sidewalk with a massive, ancient tree growing through it. Nissa’s pet Toad from the Seventh Kingdom sits under the tree, only he’s grown enormous…like as big as an elephant. He’s wearing a wooden sign around his neck that says, ‘Stay Away From Toad.’”
The scene comes alive behind my eyelids. I’m there on the pavement observing as Aidan approaches Toad. A pungent smack of decomposing moss and dark secrets drifts to my nostrils. It’s so real I swear it’s my dream, not his.
“That’s when I notice the old wooden box on the sidewalk,” Aidan continues. “It’s the size of a piano bench, but without legs. The lid is about to open. I realize I’ve been waiting for it to open for a really long time, but I don’t know what’s inside.”
I’ve chewed the sweet grass stem to a slimy pulp. Cold dread creeps up beside me. I almost tell Aidan to stop because suddenly I don’t want to know what’s in the bench. But that’s silly. I’ve got to be strong and comfort him. I pluck another long grass stem and twirl it between my fingers. It’s just a dream.
“The lid creaks open and someone tall climbs out,” Aidan continues. “It’s a man, but his face is vague. From inside the bench he pulls out three smaller boxes and sets them on the ground under the tree, then climbs back inside the bench and closes the lid.”
I sit up, hugging my knees to my chest. The words coming out of Aidan’s mouth aren’t threatening in any way, but I am threatened. Aidan sits up, too, staring straight ahead. I hate that I know what he’s going to say before he says it.
“You were there, Emily. You came striding out of the forest across the pavement straight toward the three boxes.”
I thought I was used to the visions taking over by now, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen when it’s someone else’s dream.
Mottled milky skin forms over the sun as I cross the paved lot, casting a sickly light on the dying cypress. I kneel in front of the tree.
The first box is simple and rustic but when I open the lid I find a gorgeous book bound in leather nestled inside. The weight and texture of the pages makes me sigh with pleasure. I almost forget about the dread that’s scuttled up my back, peering over my shoulder at this book of the First Realm, written in curling calligraphy.
The second box is like the first. A heavy scrollwork lock and key wait inside for me when I open the lid. They’re obviously a set, but to what? I slip them both in my pocket and turn my attention to the third box.
This one is different than the other two. Thick bubbly glass distorts my view of what’s inside. Whatever it is, it’s dazzling. But the intricate clasp is locked and the key from the second box is way too big to fit.
Aidan’s words come from far away. “You stand up and walk over to Toad, knocking on the ‘Stay Away From Toad’ sign. He opens one filmy old eye and looks right at you, yawning wide. Inside is a beautiful woman. She looks so familiar…I think it must be Princess Nissa; only she’s older than thirteen. She’s frail and weak. She hands you the shield, the dagger, and the gauntlet from the story. As soon as you touch the gauntlet it wraps around your wrist like it’s part of your body.”
The woman inside Toad speaks directly to my mind without moving her lips. “These weapons will give you Purpose, but they are not your Defense. Your strength can only come from within you, Emily. No one else can provide it. Each box holds a portion of Hell, some less painful than others. But remember: pain is not Eternal. Sometimes regret cuts deeper. You must choose.”
With that, Toad shuts his mouth, closing his black lily-pad eye.
“You kneel in front of the boxes again,” Aidan’s voice travels back to me. “You can’t make up your mind which to choose. As you look at each of them, your clothes start changing. When you touch the first box, you’re wearing a long sparkly dress. When you touch the box with the lock and key you have a plain skirt and sweater on, like something a Sunday School teacher would wear. When you touch the locked crystal box, you’re in your regular clothes again: shorts and a tank top. It keeps changing like that, back and forth as you study each box. After a while you sit back against the tree, staring up at the three big rotting branches. I call to you, but you can’t hear me.”
A huge weight sits on my chest. Dread rests on my shoulders. The Toad-woman’s words spin in circles around my heart while the worry in Aidan’s voice squeezes at my middle.
“That’s the dream. I’ve had it every night since the night you went to the hospital. Sometimes more than once.” He’s looking at me but now I can’t meet his eyes. “Are you okay, Emily?”
I rouse myself. “Of course I am, dork.” I ruffle his hair just like I’m not suffocating. “You have the best imagination, you know that?” He smiles. “I’m sorry you’re having a hard time sleeping. Does Jacob snore?”
“Yeah, he does. Why can’t we sleep at the main house with you instead of at the bunkhouse? I’d even sleep on the couch.”
“I know. It sucks, but I don’t think Aunt Meg likes couch-sleepers. It won’t be for much longer, though. I can give you something that will help. You probably won’t dream at all.”
“Like what?”
“I found a few sleeping pills behind some stuff in the guest bathroom medicine cabinet. Mom used to give them to me when I had bad dreams. They made it so I didn’t remember my dreams at all.”
“Are you sure it’s safe?”
“It must be if she gave it to me, right? I was a lot younger than you are. You can just take a tiny bit, like maybe even a quarter. You’ll sleep so good, I promise. You’re probably having a hard time being in a different time zone and sleeping in a strange bed and everything. Once we get home you’ll be fine.”
His face and body relax. “Thanks, Emily.”
“Aidan. You know it’s just a dream, right? You don’t need to worry about me. Got it?”
He nods.
“Good. Now go do something fun. I want to explore by myself for a bit, find the places I used to go when I was little. I’ll take you guys with me next time, okay?”
Aidan smiles. “Okay, Dork Princess. Don’t get lost in the woods!”
He bolts out of reach as I smack at him. Once he’s gone I lie back in the grass. Failure clogs my brain. I’ve got to do better at keeping my stress locked away where Aidan can’t see.
Twenty
I’m in paradise.
Holding back damp ferns, I peek around a birch tree. I’m in a small glade, hidden from view on three sides by rock walls that climb at least fifteen feet. On the far side a waterfall tumbles over a sheer cliff, landing in a pond surrounded by broad-leafed flowering plants.
I walk to the edge of the pool.
This is my secret place, exactly as I remember it from so long ago. I would sneak here, making sure no one followed. This is where I drank mist that collected in folded ribbon leaves, explored the recess behind the fall, washed my gossamer in the narrow tumbled river that rushes away from the glade.
My ankles ache at the water’s first touch. Every instinct shouts: it’s too cold! Jump out.
“Wait,” a quiet voice sparkles. “This isn’t pain. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just unknown so it’s scary.” I hesitate only a second more, then strip out of my dirt and bean leaf covered clothes and step into the pond. Chill invigorates me.
I wade in deeper, take a breath, and sink beneath the surface, my head heavy with thoughts.
Nancy said to listen to the voices, to experience my emotions without judging or reacting to them. Did she know what she was asking?
I climb from the pool. Naked and dripping wet, I sit on a lip of rock jutting out over the water. Large flat leaves of a vine cover the stony ground.
I don’t think I can do it. I don’t want my roller-coaster emotions. I don’t want the voices. I don’t want to meet Dad.
What if I refuse to meet him?
What if I stay here in the glade with my fantasies and never go back?
I lay down, adjusting my wings so they’re open beneath me. Pulling my wet hair out from under my neck I drape it over one shoulder. Tiny droplets of spray shower like a blessing around me.
I’m connected to the earth here. A thousand hues and shades of green hold me captive. The scent of gardenia, jasmine, and something citrus intoxicates me.
The water gushes a hypnotic symphony. I focus on the distinct voices of the fall, distinguishing myriad tones and dynamics. The river hurtles deep and wide over mossy rocks above, echoing off the three wet stone walls encircling me, roaring a continuous splash into the pool, plunging low, gurgling to the surface, fanning out to the reed-lined edges.
And the spray. Spray is everywhere. Frenzied, it shoots skyward, ripped from the current as gravity pulls the river down, flinging twirling mist into the air. More spray clings to the clear water, desperate as it falls, twisting, arching, and finally escaping with a breathy sigh, clouding the air in a constant hush.
If I hold my breath I can even hear the bubbling movement of water beneath the surface of the pool swirling in every direction, absorbing and being absorbed by the calm depth of the blue-green pond.
Turning on my side I re-position my wings so they rest against each other, drooping drowsily ground-ward. Individual droplets of water caress my skin: heavily on my back and legs, lightly across my shoulders, whisper soft on my face.
One tiny drop lands at my hairline. It joins with dozens of still smaller drops, sliding down the contour of my cheekbone to the corner of my mouth. I lick my lips, savoring wet green life on my tongue.
Pulling my awareness back I experience the shower as a whole. It enfolds me in its constantly changing embrace.
Softly, slowly, I let go and drift off to sleep.
Something soft nudges my hand.
Hmmm. I’ve never been so relaxed. I don’t want to move a muscle. Opening my eyes to see what nudged me is out of the question.
As I drift back to a place just below consciousness there’s another nudge, this time more insistent. A bright trill of birdsong invades my ear.
I open one eye. A sparrow and a pink-nosed rabbit sit by my outstretched hand, both damp with mist. The bright-eyed bird hops up and down; the rabbit’s nose twitches frantically.
“Mhuhmmm.” I arch my back, swatting at the animals before curling up into a ball. “Go away.”
The sparrow hops closer, touching my hand with its sharp beak.
“Owww!” I open both eyes. “What could possibly be important enough for you two to wake me?” I stroke the soft fur under the bunny’s chin.
A purple dragonfly zigzags into view. Xander.
She sends a dizzying kaleidoscope of impossible images tumbling through my head. Several seconds pass before I understand what Xander is showing me: an elf is crouching behind a stand of redwoods. Watching me.
The bird trills again, hopping from one foot to another.
“Shhhhh,” I whisper. “Haven’t you seen an elf before? The forest is full of them. This is their home in the Second Realm.”
Wait, an elf? Watching…me.
A shock in my middle yanks me fully awake. The voices go nuts.
Emma! This is so silly!
You’re NAKED. What were you thinking? Skinny-dipping like a tramp!
Shame and guilt mingle in the droplets splashing over me, burning my skin.
Just listen, don’t react, whispers the White Faerie.
I hold very, very still and reach out to Xander. She darts closer with a flick of her wings, feeding me more images from Twist. I see a pair of soft woven boots. If only Twist would fly a little higher… yes, just like that. The elf has thick black hair, brown skin and broad powerful shoulders.
Oh. My. God. Kaillen.
Kaillen is watching me.
Did someone send him to keep an eye on me? No. That’s ridiculous. I know I wasn’t followed. And no one knows this place except me.
He must have stumbled upon me by accident.
And then what? Stayed to watch me nap? Why?
Because you’re NAKED.
Keep still and pretend you’re asleep, Emma. He’ll get bored and go away.
He doesn’t budge.
What exactly can he see from his hiding place? My back, probably, and my wings. My bum, too?
Oh. NO.
How long has he been here? How could he?
My chest tingles with an unexpected surge of power.
Where did that come from? I’m more than just a modest person…I’ve perfected the art of privacy and keeping secrets. But I’m tackled by an intense thrill knowing he’s watching me.
An image of his strong hands turning me onto my back springs unbidden to my mind.
Xander didn’t send that.
This is all me.
His long fingers slowly trace the bare skin of my neck and shoulders, down my arm. His face hovers inches above mine, his deep brown eyes wanting.
I close my eyes. His breath grazes my lips. The weight of his body against my hips presses me into the rock beneath us. A barely audible moan escapes my throat. A powerful desire to pull him closer, to taste his mouth, grips me.
Stop this instant! This is completely inappropriate young lady!
But there are all kinds of new thoughts, new emotions, new sensations flooding me.
He’s an arrogant young man with bad manners! You pity him because he was an orphan. The End.
That’s true! I don’t want him to outline my lips with his tongue…Do I?
I feel funny, Emma.
I steady my breathing. The rabbit hops closer, nudging me with his nose. The sparrow cocks her head to one side. They’re waiting for me to do something.
What should I do?
What do you want to do? The White Faerie asks. Suddenly I know her name: Ava, the same as my middle name.
“The voices are supposed to tell me what to do.” I whisper back. They’d never let me decide something like this on my own.
They already told you what to do: run away or pretend to be asleep. But you’re still here, which means YOU want to do something different. Think, Emily Ava Alvey. What do YOU want?
I want it back…the image of Kaillen’s golden-dark fingers on my pale skin. He’s so…HOT.
STOP! You can’t trust yourself, Emily. This is WRONG.
But I can’t stop. No. That’s not true. I don’t want to stop.
There is truth in imagination. Trust yourself. If you could do anything, what would you do?
If I could do anything?
If I could do anything I would need butterflies. A lot of butterflies.
Xander zips in closer. “Okay,” I think to her, “this is what we’re going to do…”
From the input Twist sends Xander, Kaillen appears to be struggling—he’s wearing a scowl like he’s upset with himself for staying, like he wants to get up and sneak off—but the way his hand grips the bark of the tree next to him
says he’s not going anywhere. He settles into a crouch down on one knee, waiting. He doesn’t know I’m awake.
Time to change that.
I stretch with both arms above my head. If his hearing’s as sharp as Twist’s, his ears would pick up my sensuous sigh. I turn over on my back, wings beneath me, and stare up into the overhanging vines confident in my modesty…Xander assures me the ferns and broad-leafed plants conceal most of my body.
Ablaze with a wild thrill I’ve never felt before, I prop myself up on my elbows.
With Xander zipping around my head, I turn and look directly into Kaillen’s eyes.
“Dammit to hell,” Twist relays. His voice is deep, breathy.
My heart pounds an intense rhythm as a fuchsia cloud of miniature butterflies descends from nowhere, encircling me as I rise to my feet in one fluid arc. They veil me in color and motion, swirling for a soft second before coalescing on my skin. Vivid pink wings open and close continuously, barely but chastely concealing my body, creating ripples of color and movement across my chest, hips, and the tops of my thighs.
My arms and legs are uncovered, as are my shoulders and back to the bottom of my spine.
He’s holding his breath.
The butterflies move with me as I stretch on my tiptoes, wrists coiling high above my head. Pushing the girl and woman firmly from my mind I let this unexplored part of me take charge. Only one tiny question slips through: is this the real me?
I rock back onto my heels. My hands twist my wet hair up behind my neck. Both dragonflies appear, pinning my hair with their bodies, back and away from my face and shoulders.
Anchored in the moment I glance back playfully. Kaillen’s deep eyes are fixed on me with an intensity that steals my breath. Turning, I step into the pool. It laps my calves, enclosing my knees.
As the water reaches the tops of my thighs the butterflies clinging there peel off in perfect synchronicity, skimming away across the surface of the pool, taking flight the second before my skin submerges.
I glide in further, the water rising to my navel, then my ribs. I spin so, so slowly, tipping my neck. Eyelashes heavy with mist, my wingtips part the pond behind me. I stop spinning with the water just above my breasts, several inches under the dip of my collarbone.
Riven: Young Adult Fantasy Novel (My Myth Trilogy Book 1) Page 13