I nodded my understanding and exited the car. I followed the signs and managed to find Duke’s room without issue. Pausing outside his door, I took in a deep breath. Before I could chicken out, I pushed the door open and stepped inside. When my eyes landed on Duke, it took every ounce of strength I had to keep my anguish inside. Slowly, I approached the bed and carefully placed my hand on top of his.
What I could see of him was covered in bruises, even his hands. He must have tried to fight off whoever did this to him. His face was so swollen, I doubted he could have opened his eyes if he was awake. His head was shaved on one side with a thick bandage in the middle of the shaved area. I dropped my head down and let a few tears escape. I squeezed his hand and whispered, “Duke, please be okay.”
When I had my emotions locked down again, I took a step back from the bed and turned to see who else was in the room. To my surprise, the only other visitors were Phoenix and a woman I assumed to be Duke’s sister.
“Reese, this is Harper, Duke’s sister. Harper, this is Reese, Carbon’s sister,” Phoenix said.
The automated response spilled from my lips, “Hi, Harper. I’m so sorry about your brother. Is there anything I can do to help?” I was sorry about Duke, but I didn’t really want to do anything to help her. If I had been in a better place emotionally, I would have been more than willing to offer my help, but as it was, I was in no shape to take on any burdens.
“Actually, there is something you could do for me. Phoenix said you might be willing to stay with Duke while I go get a shower and a few hours of sleep. I’m exhausted and I stink, but I don’t want him to wake up with no one here. Would that be okay?” she asked.
Well fuck me sideways. What had I gotten myself into? “That’s fine with me as long as it’s okay with Phoenix,” I said, turning my gaze to Phoenix.
Please say I can’t stay.
Please say I can’t stay.
“That’s fine, just make sure you stay in the room. You can ride back to the clubhouse with whoever brings Harper back,” he said, clearly not hearing my unspoken plea. “I’m going to walk Harper down and then I have a few errands to run.”
Next thing I knew, I was alone with Duke. I guess the saying “Be careful what you wish for” was true. I had repeatedly wished to have some time alone with Duke and now I did. Fucking great.
CHAPTER FOUR
Duke
My mind seemed to wake up before my body did. Everything hurt and nothing worked. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get my eyes to open. I couldn’t get any of my body parts to voluntarily move and I couldn’t make a sound. For a brief moment, I thought I might be dead, but then I remembered the pain. What in the hell was going on?
I tried to quiet my mind and pay attention to what I could hear. At least my ears seemed to be working. There was a rhythmic beeping and the sounds of some kind of cloth or clothing being rustled. A door opened and closed and then I heard footsteps. I felt a hand touch mine and then I heard her voice. Reese.
“Duke, please wake up. It’s been days. Days! I need you to wake up. I can’t handle this. It’s too much for me. Everything is too much. I need you. I need you to wake up. Please,” she said and sniffled. Was she crying? Reese didn’t cry. Before I could figure out what was going on or where we were, I drifted off into the black abyss again.
The next time I woke, I heard Reese’s voice right away. “I have to go back to the clubhouse when your sister gets here. Please, Duke, please come back to us. Please.” I felt something wet land on my nose and then her lips ever so gently touched my cheek.
Off and on I woke, hearing a variety of voices and conversations each time. Every time I woke, I tried with everything I had to move or make some kind of noise, but nothing worked. I would try and try until I fell back into the black.
One of the last times I woke in my paralyzed like state, I heard Reese’s voice again. She was talking to someone. I soon realized the other voice belonged to my sister. “Reese, honey, are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been in that bathroom throwing up every day for the last week. If you’re sick, you really shouldn’t be around Duke.”
“I’m not sick, Harper. I already told you. My stomach gets upset like this when I’m worried or stressed. Trust me, it’s not contagious,” Reese snapped back.
Harper huffed, “This is none of my business, but are you pregnant?”
I heard Reese gasp and quickly answer, “Of course I’m not pregnant. It’s not even a possibility.” It was a possibility, she and I both knew that. Condoms weren’t one hundred percent effective. I assumed she was on birth control, as most girls her age were, but that wasn’t one hundred percent effective either. Even though the chance was small, it was still a possibility. And by the way Reese answered, I would guess it was a certainty.
The next conversation I recalled hearing was a one-sided conversation Reese was having. I assumed she was on the phone since I couldn’t hear the other person. “I’m sure. I don’t want it. It’s not up to him, it’s my decision to make. I don’t care about the money. I just want it gone as fast as possible. Just set it up and let me know the time and place. I’ll be there.”
Not long after that, Harper arrived to relieve Reese. I’m guessing they had been tag teaming staying with me so that I was never left alone in the hospital. “I hope your appointment goes well. Will you be back this afternoon?” Harper asked.
“Thanks. I’m not sure if I’ll be back or not. It depends on how long it takes. I’ll call and let you know,” Reese replied.
So, she was pregnant with my child and she was off to have an abortion while I was laid up in this fucking hospital unable to have any say in what she was doing. By the time she got back, awake or not, it would already be done and there would be nothing I could do about it. Consumed with fury, I gladly let the blackness take me away.
The next time my mind came back online, I did the same thing I did each time before. I tried to open my eyes first. They opened. Holy shit, my eyes opened! My vision was blurry, but it was steadily clearing. The next thing I tried was my voice. It worked. I made some unintelligible sound, but it was enough. Harper’s face was directly in front of mine seconds later.
She yelled my name as tears fell from her eyes. I winced from the sheer volume of her voice. “Tone it down would you, sis? My fucking head is killing me.”
“That’s because you had brain surgery. And excuse me for being happy. You’ve been in a coma for a week and a half,” she snapped.
What? A week and a half? That couldn’t be right. “You’re shitting me, right?”
“I most certainly am not. It’s been the longest 10 days of my life. I didn’t know if you would ever come out of it and they couldn’t even tell us if you would be the same if you did wake up. Clearly, you’re the same asshole you were before your attack.”
“My attack?” I asked.
“You don’t remember?” she asked. I shook my head. “You were attacked by someone or someones. You were stabbed eight times and had a severe head injury. Any of that ring a bell?”
It didn’t. I remembered leaving the clubhouse and riding into town. The last thing I could remember was riding down Main Street. After that, nothing. I was lost in my thoughts, trying desperately to remember what in the hell happened to me when a nurse and two doctors entered the room.
“Mr. Jackson, good to see you awake. How are you feeling?” the man I assumed to be a doctor asked.
The next portion of the day was spent being examined by two different physicians, answering a litany of questions, and going through a series of ridiculous medical tests. By the time they were finished, I was exhausted, which of course is when Phoenix showed up. I did my best to answer his questions and then played the I’m too tired for any more right now card.
Truth be told, I wanted to see Reese. We apparently had some things to discuss, but it’s not like I could ask for her. I would just have to wait until she showed up in my room. Unfortunately for me, that didn’t happen until two d
ays later. By that time, I was well and truly pissed.
I was pretending to be asleep when Reese walked in. I maintained the facade until I was sure that my sister had left. Then, I opened my eyes and waited for her to notice me. It didn’t take long. She smiled and came closer to the bed. “Duke, I’m so glad you’re awake. I’ve been so worried about you.”
I just stared at her. During the time I had to brood, I decided that I would give her a dose of her own medicine. In other words, I was going to shut down and not talk. Immature? Absolutely. Did I care? Not one bit. Eventually, she stopped trying to talk to me and returned to her seat. This pattern continued for several days before she stopped coming to the hospital altogether.
Then, one day, she showed up out of the blue. I called and asked one of my brothers to bring me my laptop and a few other necessities. According to Reese, no one other than her was available to bring the requested items to me. She assured me that she was only dropping off the items and had no plans to stay. That was until she received a text message. She held up her phone and showed me the text.
Carbon: Stay in Duke’s room and don’t leave for any reason. Not until you hear from me and only me. Life or death, Reesie. Love you.
I nodded and turned away from her. I didn’t have a choice. I had to let her stay, but that didn’t mean I had to talk to her. I maintained my silence for hours. Finally, her phone buzzed again and she let out a sigh. When she started gathering her things, I asked, “Going somewhere?”
She whirled around, eyes wide. “Yes, I’m leaving. Carbon just sent a text telling me to meet him downstairs.”
“Good,” I said harshly. “Be sure you don’t come back.”
“What is your problem, Duke?” she asked.
I unleashed all the pent-up anger that had stewed for days. I said things just to hurt her, to get her to leave and not come back. I was angry about so many different things and I took every single one of them out on her. I expected her to lash out, to yell at me, or to at least show some kind of reaction, but no, not Reese Walker. She waited until I finished my tirade, picked up her belongings, and walked out the door. Little did I know, she was also walking out of my life.
CHAPTER FIVE
Duke
One year later
“Good job today, Noel!” I said to the little girl at my side.
“Thanks, Mr. Duke. That was my first time jumping. Did you see me?” Noel asked excitedly.
“I sure did. You’re going to know more about horses than me pretty soon. Are you going to quit school and start working here?”
She giggled, “My mom would never let me do that.”
I patted her head. “Good, because school is important. I’ll finish up with Buttercup for you. See you next week.”
“Thank you! Bye, Mr. Duke.” She ran off to find her mother while I untacked the horse. I finished grooming her and led her back to her stall. Buttercup was a sweet horse and Noel was an even sweeter little girl. Each of her siblings had a horse boarded at Blackwings Stables, but Noel and Buttercup were by far my favorite.
Ring! Ring!
I pulled my phone from my pocket and looked at the screen. I didn’t recognize the number, but it was a Devil Springs area code, so I figured it was Copper or one of his guys. “Yeah,” I answered.
The nasally voice of a middle-aged, and I would guess snobby, woman filled my ear. “Could I please speak with Mr. Jackson?”
“Speaking.”
“Hi, Mr. Jackson, this is Rita from Sunshine Springs Daycare. James’s mother hasn’t picked him up and we can’t get in touch with her-”
I interrupted, “I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person.”
She huffed, “Is this Mr. John Wayne Jackson?” At the sound of my full name, I was suddenly on edge.
“Well, yes.”
“Good. We can’t get in touch with Reese so we need you to come pick up your son.”
Pick up my what?
Reese?
James?
My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest and my lungs refused to move air as realization dawned and a feeling of dread washed over me.
“Mr. Jackson? Are you still there?”
“Um, uh, I’m two hours away.” Yes, that was all I could come up with. My son? My freaking son? I had a son? And where the hell was Reese?
“We closed 30 minutes ago. If someone isn’t here to pick him up within the next 30 minutes, we will have to notify the police and child services.”
“No. No, don’t do that. I have family that lives there. I’ll have my cousin come pick him up. His name is Judge, I mean Jonah Jackson.”
“Please inform him of the time constraints. Reese has always been on time or early to get him and James is such a sweet boy, but I’m bound by policy, you understand?”
“Yes, fine. I need to go so I can call him and get him there in time. Thank you, Rita.” I hung up before she could say anything else.
With shaking hands, I quickly dialed Judge, praying he picked up.
“Sup, cuz?”
“Judge, I need you to get a cage and get your ass to Sunshine Springs Daycare before 7pm,” I barked into the phone.
“Why? What the hell are you talking about?”
“Apparently, they are closed and my fucking son hasn’t been picked up today!” I bellowed.
At that, he didn’t ask any more questions. I was grateful because I didn’t have any answers. “I’m leaving now. I’ll call you when I have him. I assume you’re headed this way?”
“Damn right I am. Be there soon. Thanks, man.”
Fifteen minutes later I was flying down the highway on my bike when Judge texted to let me know he had my son in his care. I didn’t stop to reply to him. He knew I was on my way and couldn’t respond.
The drive to Devil Springs was the longest drive of my life. I had a son. A son I knew nothing about other than his name, which I just learned. Fuck, I didn’t even know his last name.
Why didn’t Reese tell me about him? Why would she do this to me? Better yet, where in the hell was she? The more I thought about it, the more uneasy I became. Reese wasn’t the kind of woman to abandon a baby. The daycare lady even said Reese always picked him up early or on time. Had something happened to her? Was she okay?
I needed to call Carbon. Fuck, Carbon! He knew I had a kid and didn’t tell me. I was going to kick his big, burly ass when I saw him next. Phoenix could say or do whatever he wanted, but as far as I was concerned, Carbon was no longer my brother. We stood behind each other, put the club first, always, and that included his little sister. Damn him!
When I pulled through the gates at the Devil Springs clubhouse, I was still angry, and worried, and nervous. I was about to see my son for the first time, to hold him, to care for him. How was I going to care for him? I knew nothing about babies, which didn’t really matter because I didn’t have any of the shit babies needed. Sweat popped up on my forehead and my vision started to blur. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t take care of a baby.
A warm, very large hand landed on my shoulder and gently shook me. “Take a deep breath, brother, and come inside,” Copper said.
My voice came out almost as a whisper, “I don’t know if I can.”
“You can and you will. Your son is in there and he needs you. Now go,” he ordered. God bless Copper. I needed that. I don’t think I could have gone inside otherwise.
I walked into the common room, which was almost an exact replica of the Croftridge common room. In the far corner of the room, Judge was seated on a sofa with a little blue bundle in his arms. My steps halted at the sight, until Copper’s big hand shoved me forward.
I slowly approached the sofa. I couldn’t make myself meet anyone’s eyes. I was scared. I was a big, badass biker and I was terrified of a tiny baby. My baby. I was on the verge of turning around and running out the door when Judge spoke, “Hey, lil’ man, your daddy’s here.” Fuck me.
I quickened my steps and dropped down beside Judg
e. He straightened and leaned forward, placing the blue bundle in my arms. I heard coos and giggles as I slowly reached to push the blanket away so I could see his face. I gasped and felt tears prick the backs of my eyes when I saw him for the first time. He was a perfect combination of me and Reese. He took my breath away. I couldn’t speak. All I could do was stare at the perfection squirming in my arms.
Judge clapped me on the shoulder, “You all right, man?”
I cleared my throat, but didn’t bother to wipe away the one tear that slid down my face, “Yeah, I think so.” Then, the panic came back with a vengeance. My eyes widened, fear filling them, “I don’t know what to do with a baby. I don’t know how to take care of him. I don’t have any of the shit he needs. I don’t-”
“Calm down, Duke,” Judge said. “I called my mom. She’s on her way now. I have a cage and a car seat for him. He had a diaper bag and some shit at the daycare. It’ll be okay.”
My mind was not functioning at full capacity. I couldn’t focus on anything but James. “Thanks, man.”
Copper had been standing to the side, silently watching the show. He stepped forward and addressed me, “Where is his mother?”
My head shot up, “That’s a good fucking question!”
Copper put his hands up, “Calm down, Duke. I’m not accusing you of anything. I”m just trying to get an idea of what’s happening here.”
“What’s happening here is that bitch had my baby and didn’t bother to fucking tell me he existed, yet she had the audacity to list me as the emergency contact at the daycare. Today, she decided not to show up to get him and he damn near ended up with child services!” I roared.
“And who is this bitch?” Copper asked the million dollar question.
Duke (Blackwings MC Book 2) Page 3