That feeling lasted until we walked into the common room of the clubhouse. I knew they would be having a party, they always did on Friday nights, but I thought they would just be getting started since it was only a few minutes after 8pm. Apparently, they got started a little early tonight. Several of the brothers already had club whores in their laps or crawling all over them, most of which were barely clothed. One of those brothers was none other than Duke.
Fuck.
This.
Shit.
“There’s your brother,” I snapped at Harper and gestured toward the fuck nugget with the whore on his lap. “I’m out.” I turned with a wobble and did my best to storm off down the hall.
I was not going to cry. We weren’t together. He could do whatever or whoever he wanted. I just didn’t want to see it. I needed a drink, but there was no way in hell I was going back in the common room. Not just because of Duke. I also noticed a whore pawing at my brother and trying to climb in his lap, which meant it wasn’t safe for me to go hang out in his room. Damn it. I never should have agreed to come with them.
I pushed through the back door, hoping no one was fucking in the pool. I breathed a sigh of relief when I didn’t see anyone else around. Closing my eyes, I tilted my head to the sky. Why was my life so complicated?
“What are you doing out here?” a deep voice asked from behind me, close behind me.
I screamed and whirled around, nearly falling over thanks to my booted foot. “Shaker! You asshole, you scared the hell out of me!”
He grinned. “Yeah, that’s what I was trying to do.”
“Bastard.”
“Brat.”
“Go away.”
“But I brought you something. You don’t want it?” he asked, taunting me.
I didn't have the patience for his crap. “What is it?”
He handed a bottle to me. “Tequila.”
“Hell yes! You got limes and salt?” I asked, my night suddenly looking up.
“Of course.” He reached inside his cut and pulled out two limes, a salt shaker, and a shot glass.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
“I know. My thoughtfulness and my handsome face make me irresistible. Oh, and let’s not forget my rockin’ body.” He flexed his biceps and smiled widely.
I couldn’t help but giggle. He could be standoffish at first, but once you got to know him, he was hilarious.
We sat down at one of the patio tables. He pulled out his pocket knife and cut up one of the limes while I opened the bottle and filled the shot glass.
“You get the first one. I think you need it more than me anyway,” Shaker said.
“What makes you say that?” I asked before picking up the glass and taking the first shot. I hissed. “I always hate the first one.”
“Wuss.” I refilled the glass for him. He tipped it back with no fanfare. “I was in there when you came in. Saw what you saw. Grabbed the tequila and followed you out here.”
I grabbed the shot glass and muttered, “I don’t want to talk about it,” right before downing my second shot.
“You sure about that?”
“Yes. Pour me another.” He did, and then again, and again, and again.
“I think that’s enough for now, Reese.”
“Why?” I slurred and swayed. “I’m only seeing two of you. I thought the cutoff was at three.” I clapped my hands together and cackled into the night. I was damn funny when I was drunk, at least I thought so anyway.
Shaker shook his head. “Your brother is going to kill me.”
“My brother is probably balls deep in a club whore’s ass right now, yanking her hair and making her scream for mercy. If he’s thinking about you, there’s a problem.” I arched a brow and tipped my chin down slightly. “Know what I'm saying?”
His face contorted in disgust. “Oh, shut the fuck up, Reese. I don’t want to know anything about what Carbon does with his dick and it damn sure doesn’t have anything to do with me.”
“Methinks he doth protest too much.”
“Methinks your ass is about to get tossed into the pool.”
I clumsily lifted my foot and waggled it at him. “You can’t. Nana-nana-boo-boo.”
“Brat.”
“You called?”
He rolled his eyes and huffed. “Note to self. No more tequila for Reese, ever.”
I stuck my bottom lip out and pouted. “Oh, come on, Shaker, I’m just teasing you. I’ve had a rough time of it lately and I need to blow off some steam.”
“Yeah, yeah. Use me and abuse me.” I almost didn’t hear the last part because he said it so quietly. “Just like the rest of them.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing.” He sat up straighter in his chair. “So, why did you come to the clubhouse tonight?”
“Pour me another shot and I’ll tell you.”
“If you puke on me, I’m tossing you into the pool, booted foot or not.”
“Deal.” I put my hand out to shake his. He laughed but shook my hand. “Harper showed up at the farm looking for Duke. She found me and Ember instead. She was furious and demanded to know why no one told her about James. I told her to talk to her brother about that, so here we are.”
He sat quietly for a few minutes. He leaned back in his chair and cocked his head to one side. “Can I ask you something?”
“You just did.”
“Such a smartass.” He chuckled. “Why didn’t you tell Duke about the baby?” I opened my mouth, but he put up a hand to stop me. “I’m not passing judgment, I’m honestly just curious. I know you, and I know you wouldn’t do something like that without a good reason.”
“You’re right. I did have a good reason…” I trailed off. “I don’t mind telling you, but it needs to stay between me and you right now. This isn’t a club thing and I don’t want every member knowing my business.”
“Got it. Does your reason affect the club in any way or is it strictly personal?”
“Strictly personal.”
“Then you have my word that it stays between us.”
I cleared my throat. I had never uttered this story to anyone. Most of the time I tried to pretend like it didn’t even happen. “When Duke was in the hospital last year, I was at the hospital all the time. We weren’t officially together, but we had something going on and I had feelings for him. I thought he had feelings for me, too. When he woke up from his coma, he was like a completely different person. He was so mean and hateful to me. Some of the things he said to me I could never repeat. Some cut me deeply and, I guess, rang true in a way.” I paused, trying to gather my strength to continue.
Shaker scooted his chair closer to mine and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “You don’t have to tell me any more.”
“I want to. I think I need to. I’ve never told anyone about this and I think it might be good for me to get it out.”
“That’s up to you, sweetheart.”
I took a deep breath and continued. “He told me I was a mistake. That he wished he never touched me. He said I was a child with a woman’s body and he was disgusted with himself for having ever laid a finger on me. He told me he knew I had feelings for him and I needed to get that shit out of my head. We would never be together. He said he wasn’t interested in playing house with a little girl, especially one that had daddy issues. If that wasn’t enough, he went on to say it was my fault he was in the hospital in the first place because I was the one who brought Ember to the club. He said I was too stupid to see the danger she was bringing with her and not only did I almost get him killed, I could have destroyed the whole club. He ended by saying I should do the club a favor and disappear.” I pushed myself off his shoulder and turned to face him. “So, that’s what I did. I disappeared and ‘played house’ by myself.”
Shaker’s jaw was clenched, lips pressed into a thin line, fists balled, and face red. Crappity crap. He spoke through gritted teeth, “Your brother know about this?” I shook my head. “Phoenix?�
�� I shook my head again. “That motherfucker,” he growled.
“Shaker, you gave me your word.”
“I told you it would stay between us and it will, but I never said I wouldn’t beat his ass and not tell him why.”
“Please, don’t do that,” I cried. “I told you because I needed to talk to someone and get it out, not so you would do something about it. Beating his ass isn’t going to change anything. It’s not going to undo the hurt he caused when he said those things to me.”
“I just can’t believe that motherfucker. First, we find out he has a wife no one knew about and now this shit!” Shaker barked.
Any buzz I had was instantly gone. I froze, hearing nothing but my own heartbeat as my mind tried to process his words.
Lub-dub.
Wife.
Lub-dub.
Duke.
Lub-dub.
James.
Lub-dub.
Step-mother.
Lub-dub.
No! I needed my happy place. I needed to not feel. I needed my brother. I needed to breathe. I felt Shaker shaking me and I vaguely recall him speaking, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying to me. Finally, I got one word out. “Carbon,” I croaked.
“Come on, sweetheart, I’ll take you to him.” Shaker lifted me into his arms and ran into the clubhouse.
“No! Not in there!” I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t get the words out. I tensed up in Shaker’s arms and frantically shook my head back and forth.
“I’m taking you to my room. Then, I’ll go get your brother. Try to slow your breathing, Reesie Piecie,” Shaker rambled.
He placed me on his bed and I closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing and the heartbeat pulsating through my ears.
Wife.
Wife.
Wife.
“Reese!” I heard Carbon’s frantic voice, but I refused to open my eyes. I needed to find the place in my head where I didn’t feel, where nothing could hurt me, where I was safe. “What the fuck did you do to her?”
“Nothing, man. We were outside talking and she just shut down. I was taking her into the common room to find you and she freaked out, so I brought her in here.”
They continued talking. I heard more voices join in. Ember, Dash, and maybe Phoenix. I tuned them out. If I kept my eyes closed and blocked them out, I would be okay. I wanted everyone except Carbon to leave. Why wasn’t he making them leave? He knew what I needed when I got like this. Then, I heard him.
HIM.
Duke.
I sat straight up, opened my eyes, and said one word, “Wife.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Duke
She said one word. Just that one word destroyed any hope I had of talking to her and working things out between us.
“Wife.”
I felt like a knife had been plunged directly into my heart. I took a staggering step back, still staring at her beautiful face. A face filled with so much pain. Pain that I put there. “Please, Reese, let me explain.”
“You need to go. Right the fuck now,” Carbon ordered, stepping in front of me.
Fuck this shit. He wasn’t going to stand in between me and Reese anymore. Brother or not, this was between me and her. “No, you’re the one who needs to leave.” His chest puffed out, but I kept going, “This has nothing to do with you. We have shit we need to talk about and you aren’t going to stand between us anymore. Don’t you get it, Carbon? She’s not fragile and delicate. She’s fucking hiding behind you! That shit needs to stop. Now!”
He was trying to control his temper, I’ll give him that, but he barely had it under control. “I’m her brother,” he gritted out. “She can hide behind me anytime she wants to, for whatever reason, from anyone, including you. Now, get the fuck out.”
“I’m not leaving. Not until I talk to her.”
Surprisingly, Shaker pushed Carbon out of the way and stepped in front of me, his face filled with rage. “Didn’t you say everything you needed to say to her last year, brother?” He said brother like it left a nasty taste in his mouth, like he was disgusted by me, and, from the look on his face, I guessed he was.
I looked to the ground and shook my head. “Fuck,” I muttered, more to myself than anyone.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Carbon demanded.
Shaker looked directly at Carbon. “Promised her I would keep it to myself, man. If she wants to tell you, she can, but I’m not going to betray her trust. Sorry, brother.”
Carbon looked at Shaker with respect in his eyes. “Got it.” He turned his angry eyes to me. “You want to fill in the gaps, assface, or should I start breaking bones?”
“ENOUGH!” Phoenix roared. “Everybody out of this room. Right the fuck now!”
We all stood there unmoving, stunned by Phoenix’s outburst. “If this room isn’t cleared in 10 damn seconds, I’m shooting whoever’s still in here!” He reached around behind him, I assumed to pull his gun from his pants, which meant he was serious. I didn’t wait around to find out. Everyone poured into the hallway and Phoenix slammed the door shut, leaving only him and Reese inside.
Movement to my right caught my eye. I turned my head to see my sister cowered in the corner, shaking like a leaf. Fuck. I was screwing things up left and right. I started to go to her, to try to comfort her, but to my utter disbelief, Carbon strolled over to her and pulled her into his arms. What in the everloving fuck? Before I could question it further, Phoenix opened the door.
“Duke, you can come in.” I looked back and forth between him and my sister being held by Carbon. Reluctantly, I stepped into the room with Reese and Phoenix.
I dropped into a chair and Phoenix began, “Now before either one of you says a word, I want you both to keep your mouths shut and listen. This is a fucking motorcycle club, not a damn daytime soap opera. I can’t have brothers beatin’ the hell out of brothers, girls crying and passing out, friends and family members swinging on club whores. We’ve got way more important things to deal with than that type of bullshit. But most importantly, you two have a child together. You’re going to have to deal with each other in some form or fashion until one of the three of you dies. That may sound harsh, but it’s the truth, so in the best interest of James, I’m going to help you two talk some shit out or I’m kicking both of your asses out of my clubhouse, got me?”
Holy shit. In all the years I’d known Phoenix, I’d never heard him say anything like that to a brother. I sat up straighter in my chair. “Got it, Prez.”
If looks could kill, Phoenix would have died 10 times over from the glare emanating from Reese. She crossed her arms and huffed, “Whatever.”
“Wrong answer. You want to try again or you want to get the fuck out?” Phoenix barked.
Her eyes widened in surprise. “Got it.”
“Good. Now, everyone knows you both have feelings for one another. That was made perfectly clear by how you both reacted when the other’s life was on the line. Either one of you want to attempt to deny that right now? A simple yes or no will do.”
I knew Reese wouldn’t want to answer first. She hated showing her emotions. It was time for me to nut up. “No, Prez.”
Phoenix gave me a chin lift and turned his eyes to Reese. She didn’t say anything, but she shook her head.
“So, what’s the problem?”
“She was going to have an abortion!” I said at the same time Reese said, “He has a wife!”
“Anything else?”
“She kept my son from me!” “He called me a little girl with daddy issues and said he didn’t want to play house with me!”
“Ah, now we’re getting to the root of the problem, or roots I suppose. Yes or no answers only. Reese, were you going to have an abortion?”
She honestly looked shocked at the question. “No. I would never…” she trailed off when Phoenix narrowed his eyes.
“Duke, do you have a wife?”
Fuck me. I had to answer without being able to give an explanation.
Through gritted teeth, I forced the word through my lips, “Yes.”
“Reese, did you keep his son from him?”
“Yes.”
“Duke, did you say you didn’t want to play house with a little girl with daddy issues?”
“Yes.”
“So, I’m just taking a stab at this, but I’m going to venture to say that Duke said he didn’t want to play house because he thought you were having an abortion. Reese kept your son from you because you said you didn’t want to play house with her. How am I doing so far?” Phoenix smirked at the both of us.
“Sounds about right for my part,” I muttered.
“‘Mine, too,” Reese added.
“All right, forgive me for being blunt, but how long has it been since you two fucked?”
I stood. “That’s none of your damn business, Phoenix, and you know it.”
He chuckled. “That long, huh? Okay, Duke, you need to explain why you thought she was going to have an abortion and give her a chance to tell you her side. Then, you need to tell her about your very estranged wife. Last, but not least, you two need to fuck each other and be happy.” He clapped his hands together once and strolled toward the door, “My work here is done.”
I looked at Reese, so much pain and anger evident in her eyes. “Will you let me explain about my wife, please? I promise it’s not what you think.”
“Isn’t that what all cheaters say?” she sniped.
I felt the corner of my mouth lift in a half-smile. “I suppose you’re right about that, but this time it’s the truth. Will you just hear me out?”
“Seems like I have to.” She waved her hand toward the door. “Orders from the president and all.”
“This isn’t something I like to talk about. Ever. And I’m not going to go into a lot of detail about it. When Harper was a kid, she was kidnapped. Our family never had a lot of money. We were lower middle class I guess. Anyway, our mother had just passed away after years of battling cancer. The cost of her treatments and the funeral expenses left my dad with next to nothing. The police were getting nowhere with Harper’s case. A month had gone by and I was getting desperate. I knew money talked, so I did what I had to do to get it. Shannon had been after me for years and her family was disgustingly rich. So, I married her and used her family’s money to find Harper. By that point, our father had drunk himself to death grieving over the loss of his wife and then his daughter. When I finally found Harper, we got the hell out of Arizona and never looked back. I didn’t tell anyone we were leaving or where we were going, including Shannon. I haven’t seen or heard from her since we left Arizona.”
Duke (Blackwings MC Book 2) Page 10