by Gypsy Reed
“Yes sir, I will call you posthaste.”
Sara would have liked that response.
My body tensed, I sent my cousin Garrett, the man I trusted more than anything to search for her. Garrett had been watching her, I pulled him off a week ago because I saw her with Shayne downtown. I shouldn’t have pulled him off, I didn’t trust Shayne even if he was my brother. But I was so angry at them both. They collaborated in putting my father behind bars.
Sabrina peeked into my office, “Are you staying up late?”
I didn’t want to be bothered with her, “Go sleep wherever you want.” I told her. I felt like I was missing something.
“Did I do something wrong Xander?” she asked me, she was pretty, innocent enough.
Sara was the only person ever to call me Xander, and I liked it. I had a mini panic attack. Something was wrong. I felt it; she didn’t come to court; Sara was Ms. Responsibility. You could look it up in the dictionary.
“Go home, Sabrina. I’ll call you okay?” I told her.
She looked not hurt but surprised a little “Okay. If you need me...”
“I don’t,” I snapped at her.
Where the fuck was Sara? I needed to know where she was, I could deal with all this fucking shit if I knew what was going on with her. Was she planning something else for my family, for me? Had she taken off with my sycophant brother?
I finished the bottle when my phone rang.
“Alex, the penthouse has been cleaned out.” it was Garrett.
I didn’t get him for a moment, then his words clicked in my brain “Find her Garrett, you fucking find her, I mean it damn it!”
“Alex I’ll find her I promise, just relax, there’s no one I can’t find.”
It’s his words that make me hit the ground hard “Oh fuck she’s dead, Garrett that’s why she didn’t show up for the court, what if she killed herself?” I scream the last. I can feel myself losing it.
“Alex I will find out what happened to her I swear,” he tells me.
“Find her for me please, I need to know, I need to fucking know. Oh, fuck.” I can’t breathe right, my Sara is gone, I can finally feel her absence. I lost her. I don’t even care that she did what she did. I just want her back now.
GARRETT FINDS ME ON the floor of my den, where I had passed out. The more I thought about everything that happened this last year; I had more questions than answers. What were you going to tell me, Sara? I’m so sorry I didn’t want to hear it.
He kicks the bottle of scotch away, “Thomas is in the wind too. He up and vanished like a fart in the wind over a month ago, his wife has been gone longer.”
“Someone has kidnapped her?” I raved half out of my mind.
“I think they premeditated their disappearance, it plays out that way. It leaves us with little to go on, Alexander.”
“I don’t care what happened to Thomas and his idiot trophy wife! Where’s Sara?” I yell, flinching because I’m hungover and my head pounds.
He made me sit up higher, then Garrett spoke, “Alex she moved out of the house. Filed for divorce. She left you! She can go wherever she wants now. Get a grip on yourself. You’re acting as irrationally as Shayne.”
That’s when I lost it.
Sara Jane
…Now
THERE HE IS AGAIN. He looks different, but his eyes are the same. I can’t remember my dreams, did I before? I just know one thing about them, those eyes. Cerulean. They match my mood, which is just blue. I still can’t recall anything. I still don’t know who I am. How can I be a mother? I don’t even know my real name. I’m tired of everyone saying at least you’re alive. Yes, that is true, I am alive, my baby is growing stronger inside me every day that passes. But we are both lost. Then I see him walking towards me.
Something has changed about him. That’s terrifying for someone in my situation. There’s a determination in his eyes that he tries to hide in his smooth stride and casual movements. Until he touches my face, his fingers tracing the fading scars. His eyes studied every detail. “Hi, Sara.” He whispers before kissing my forehead.
“Hi, Tru.” His touch is so gentle, it soothes all my worry away. My brain calms, my baby moves inside me, for the first time I feel it. Are they both trying to tell me it will be okay now?
That’s crazy, but how I feel, interpreting signals from the two people closest to me at that moment.
I take his hand, and he lets me press it to my belly, “Do you feel it too?”
His eyes widened, a subtle shift in and out, “I feel you both.” He slides his arm around my shoulders. “Do you like it here, Sara Jane?”
I don’t understand his question, “It’s nice. It’s where I live.”
He almost smiles, it’s attractive on him “I got a place, you both can come live with me. I’ll take care of you.”
“Why?” he had me a bit flustered.
“Because...I’m the only man that can.”
He’s cocky for a crazy man, but he doesn’t frighten me “I don’t know.”
“Let me help you, Sara Jane. Help both of you.” He seemed very sincere.
“Is that really my name?”
“Um,” he smirked, “Your name really is Sara, I added Jane because that’s what you’ve been called since you got out of the hospital, thought it’d be less weird for you.”
“How did you know I was in the hospital? Who am I, Tru? Please tell me everything.” The answers I desperately sought were here at last.
“Sara, I don’t know everything about you.” He grimaced like confessing a mortal sin.
He didn’t know me? Is Sara really my name then? “Then why do you care?” upset by dashed hopes.
He stepped closer, “Listen, I do care, I can’t explain why I do. I found you that night and rushed you to the hospital in your car.”
“I have a car?” I don’t know why that excited me, it just did. I have something of who I was before.
“Not anymore. I stole it.” He kept staring at me, and I pulled my hair to cover more of my face, Tru quirked his head.
“Why?”
“I needed a ride.”
Well, that made sense, wait, didn’t it? “I guess that’s okay if you needed it Tru.” I almost smiled, slightly confused by the conversation but happy to speak to someone besides my belly. “You saved our lives. Did you bring it back?”
He shook his head slowly, “I sold it, Sara Jane. Needed the money.” He reached deep in his pocket, leaning slightly to achieve his goal, and withdrew a roll of bills.
My eyes grew big, “Wow, that’s a fortune, Tru!” I never saw so much money. Oh yeah, right “I don’t have any. The social worker said if I remember who I am, I may have money in a bank. But...” I shrugged, unsure how to end the sentence.
“This is yours, for you and your baby, Sara.” He placed the roll in my hand. “I want you to come with me now, this place isn’t safe for the two of you.”
Now I was afraid, “It isn’t? But I thought, um, I thought...” my mind blanked. It was on the tip of my tongue. I grew frustrated quickly and slapped the side of my broken head.
Tru grabbed my hand, “Cut that out. Don’t force it, you’re still healing, ya know? Will you trust me enough to come with me?”
“Well, everyone told me not to. But you didn’t have to give me the money or come check on me. Are you crazy?” I was unsure if it made sense, but I felt weird, not in a wrong way.
“I have some mental instabilities at times, I will not lie. But I would never hurt you or your baby, Sara, I promise you that much. Now let’s get out of this place, get your things.”
“Okay, I don’t have much.” I kept everything in a satchel that helpful nurse gave me and normally had it nearby so nobody could steal it. I grabbed it, and Tru took it from me, slipped it over his shoulder. “Who did you sell my car to?” I don’t know why I asked.
As we walked out, his shoulder brushed mine, he whispered “Chop Shop.”
Oh, my face drew tight against m
y fading scars “I thought Jane Doe was a weird name.” I shrugged, some of my worries fading until I realized Tru had stopped walking. I turned around and saw him grinning from ear to ear.
TRU IS MY ANGEL. HE is better than I ever imagined any person could be. I’m glad it wasn’t a mistake to trust him. He takes such good care of me; I don’t even know if I deserve a man like him. I see him fight his demons daily and I know he does it for me. I wish I could slay them for him.
I wish I could be more for him. I still feel like a shell, a hollow husk. I’m a memory that is already forgotten. I am a mother, and he has become a father. He has chosen me, and I just don’t feel worthy. I feel like I am drowning, always floundering and second-guessing every step.
Tru has been with me through everything. He never asked or demanded a thing. He stayed by my side through my entire labor and delivery. I couldn’t have done it without him. I know he seems hard and scary to everyone else, but he’s not.
I look in the mirror and hope for anything. Something, hell, just one thing. But I get nothing. I wish I were pretty for Tru. I get the impression I might have been once, but that’s not now. I hope we could be like a real couple. I think I miss sex, though I don’t remember ever having it before. My son is proof that I have, of course. But I can’t remember making him.
We have been living together for months in this drafty loft apartment. Tru has never tried to start sex. He is very affectionate and sweet to me. He never raises his voice or makes fun of me for being a blank slate. I sometimes do dumb things. I get confused about things that I shouldn’t. My brain is still healing.
He doesn’t like to leave me alone and rarely does. Except for Saturday nights when he fights. He makes money by pounding the crap out of other men, who I guess need the payday too. Why else would you do that for a living? I don’t know what my job was before. Is there something I have forgotten how to do?
When he comes home, he showers, checks on the baby and then cuddles up with me in bed. He wraps his arms around me from behind and holds me. He doesn’t always do this, but he never fails to do it on fight nights.
I look forward to it; it makes me feel safe.
I can sense something different tonight when he entered the apartment. It was still there after he exited the bathroom and climbed into bed behind me. I risk a glance at his face and then use my long hair to hide my own. I needed to know if he got hurt. It happened occasionally. He just looked tense. Maybe he was tired. My baby keeps us up quite often. It’s odd to call him that, I mean he is mine, but Tru always refers to him that way too. Your baby, Sara Jane. Tru does as much to take care of him as I do. He had to show me some things at first. I felt like such an idiot. Tru never makes me feel dumb.
As soon as his hand is in range, I lock mine into it, and he squeezes. It’s selfish to want more from him when he already does so much.
Tru
I’M A SICK BASTARD. I beat a guy to a pulp tonight for a few hundred dollars. I got off on it; I liked it. Too much. I beat my meat in the shower because I was getting in bed with Sara. I’m getting a semi because she’s holding my hand. Woman’s been through hell. I know what happened that night; I was there. They beat her to a bloody pulp, that’s what I just did to some stranger in the pit. And yet, I want to fuck her. I can’t remember the last time I got laid. I was probably too fucked up to enjoy it, let alone lock it away in the memory vault. I went off the meds as soon as they let me off the crazy train. I can’t be numb and be aware enough to protect her and her baby. For fuck’s sake, she has a baby, and I can’t stop thinking about how her pussy would feel and what it would taste like.
She’s someone’s mother, damn it!
She’s not your mother, Tru.
She’s been through hell!
She deserves better; she deserves an orgasm or two.
Fuck you!
No, fuck Sara, she wants you too, Tru.
I won’t touch her!
Silly Tru, you already are.
Wait, what?
Sara was slick on my fingers, her panties hugged my hand tight, they’d grown wet too. Her pussy felt like wet silk. She moaned and pushed her ass into my crotch. I no longer had a semi.
It frayed the ends of my patience to hell. I’ve wanted her for so long now. I had been stealing glances at her naked body at every opportunity. She had a perfect shape, full in all the right parts. I yanked her panties roughly down her thighs, then slid a finger into her from behind. She gasped, then moved her fine ass to ride it. Her eagerness for my impromptu finger bang made any resolve I had to not fuck her disappear.
“I’m going to put something bigger inside you, Sara Jane. Unless you stop me.” I warned her. Maybe she didn’t realize how far this could go. But she didn’t stop me.
I pulled my cock out and wedged it into her pussy. She ground back against me. I was never what you would call rational. But if I ever had one of those thoughts, it vanished faster than a pair of panties on prom night. I fuck like I fight, hard and relentless like it’s the last time I will ever do it.
My thrusts rocked the bed, threatening to break it. Sara’s pussy squeezed me, I grabbed her hip and held her steady to take it the way I wanted to give it to her.
“Tru.” She said hoarsely then grabbed my hand, her nails almost piercing my fingers. She turned her face into the bed, muffling the sounds she made as she came on my cock.
Fuck yeah, this was intense. My usual stamina was being tested. I rolled Sara onto her stomach, planted one hand in the bed beside Sara, sliding the other under her. I rubbed her clit, and her head jerked up.
“Oh, God.” She choked and raised her ass up while her hands clawed the sheets.
I pounded Sara into the mattress, and she pushed that perfect ass of hers back at me the entire time. She gave as good as she got. The second time she came I let loose drilling into her. Damn, I hadn’t busted a nut that fast since the first time I got laid.
Garrett
I WATCHED TRYING NOT to fidget in the uncomfortable surroundings as my uncle sat down across from me at the small table the facility provided for visitation. He sat down like he owned it; he carried himself like a man wearing a three-piece suit and not a prison-issue uniform.
He radiated calm dignity; it hid the pure fury buried inside. A man like Nathaniel could wield his power even inside these prison walls. He didn’t accept betrayal, especially from his family. Shayne had betrayed him, bringing about the course of events that landed him in this place. All the while blaming it on Sara. But for Shayne’s plan to work, he needed his brother to not doubt him; he shifted that onto Sara. It was some diabolical Nathaniel Hastings type of mastermind fuck.
Alex had done worse. He had seized an opportunity when it presented itself and had stolen a sizable fortune from Hastings LLC. He thought he was in the clear, having secured it in many offshore accounts, and his father had taken the fall for that as well. Sara was innocent, a victim of her brother in laws cruelty and her husband’s smug, greedy stupidity.
“It’s done?” he asked me almost eagerly like it wasn’t his own flesh and blood he was talking about. My uncle only cared about money, power, and the prestige that went along with it.
I nodded, “Yes.”
“The other thing?” he was cryptic like it was cool. I thought it stupidly unnecessary.
“Sara has amnesia. It may be permanent.” It was a sore subject for me. I was crazy about her before my idiot cousin got his hooks into her. “She’s mine, that was the deal.”
“Is she? I heard she has a new man. He’s the one who attacked Shayne’s men. Is her newfound protector going to be a problem?”
“Not for me,” I answered with as much bravado as I dared.
“You carry a torch for too long, you get burned. Besides, she’s not even pretty anymore.” Nothing brought my uncle more pleasure than the suffering of others, especially if he had a hand in it.
“Neither is Shayne,” I smirked at him.
“Touché Garrett.” Nathanie
l grinned like a cat with a mouthful of canary. “No one fucks with me. Don’t forget that. Do whatever you want with Sara. But if she remembers...”
I nodded, I knew what he expected. I just wasn’t sure I could do it myself.
He cleared his throat then grew serious “Ah well, out with the old, in with the new. Now on to the most important matter at hand. My grandson...” an avarice gleam in his reticent eyes.
Tru
I WAS TOLD MORE than once that I’m too paranoid. Not just by mental health professionals either. How can you ask too many questions or be too cautious? Sometimes I think it’s everyone else who’s crazy. Then again, maybe it’s just the fucking world that’s insane. Sara makes me feel normal; well, normal for me anyway.