by Michael Todd
Pandora snickered. “You can rent me to them.”
Katie rolled her eyes. “Well, no lights on yet, but we have old donuts, candlelight, and Cards Against Humanity. Right now, we are voting on who has the best thing to rent out. Foreskin, Anal Beads, or My Inner Demon.”
Juntto shook his head. “I don’t understand foreskin. We are not born with a hood for our warriors. We come out swinging.”
Jack looked at his watch and sighed. “At least I only have another hour of my shift. Not sure if the next people will show up, though. I doubt the Metro is running, and you won’t find many Krispy Kreme employees hoofing or biking it to work.”
Katie groaned, leaning back. “It is taking forever to get these lights back on, but I guess it should. That EMP did some real damage to your systems.”
Pandora looked at the conveyer belt. “Krispy Kreme should have generators. Gas-powered ones. How are we supposed to live in a world without Hot and Ready? It is inhumane of the company to think we can.”
Jack chuckled. “You could always rent out your anal beads and go get us one.”
Pandora stood up, reaching into her pocket. Katie put out her hand and shook her head. “Please, please. For all the holiness in the world, don’t tell me you have anal beads in your pocket?”
Pandora laughed. “No, but I’ve carried worse things.”
Katie grimaced as she reached into her bag, pulling out her vibrating phone. She held it to her ear, staring Pandora down. “Hey there, Calvin. You always call at the right time. You kept us from hearing about things worse than anal beads that Pandora might have in her pocket.”
Calvin laughed. “Oh, lord, I want to be a fly on the wall for that conversation. I can only imagine what kind of weird-ass shit she keeps in there. Freak.”
Pandora yelled, “I can hear you, black man. Watch it, or I’ll come for you.”
Calvin chuckled. “I think I’ve had enough people-demons coming for me lately, and I don’t mean that in an exciting way.”
Katie smiled. “So, what’s up? You calling to keep me company in the blackout?”
Calvin groaned. “I heard about that. You guys okay?”
Katie glanced around at everyone. “Oh, yeah. Me, Juntto, Pandora, and Jack—we’re just chilling.”
Calvin paused. “’Jack?’”
Katie shook her head. “Just a friend. What’s up?”
Calvin took a deep breath. “Korbin and I are heading back to the base. Well, me, Korbin, and everyone else who belongs there. We really need some rest, and Korbin needs to see Stephanie before she starts looking for a replacement.”
Katie laughed. “She would never. Now, coming over there and dragging him back by his balls, maybe. Everyone knows Korbin is not replaceable.”
Calvin smiled. “True. I just wanted to let you know what’s up.”
Katie glanced at Pandora, who looked hopeful. “Yeah, no. That sounds awesome. Pandora and I are on call, but since we can travel by chimney flue, we’ll jump on the plane with you guys in New York. Just make sure the pilot touches down there and we’ll join you.”
Calvin agreed. “Sounds good. I know Brock will be happy to see ya.”
Katie blushed. “Yeah, well, I think Timothy will be even happier.”
Calvin laughed, and they hung up. Katie hadn’t even thought of reuniting until that moment, and she glanced at Pandora to see if she’d noticed. Of course, she had; the angel-demon was scowling at her from across the table. Katie rolled her eyes and looked at Juntto.
He was still staring down at the cards with a look of disgust on his face. “I think I would go with inner demon. That might be more useful than someone’s foreskin or anal beads.”
Pandora scoffed. “You think that, but you’ve never been treated to my anal beads.”
Juntto grimaced. “And I never will. Unless they pay the bills, answer the phone, and do paperwork, I would never even consider it.”
Katie burst out laughing and grabbed Juntto’s arm. “Sorry, Jack. I wish we could say we aren’t always like this, but we are.”
He shrugged. “You’re not much different than my friends.”
Pandora nodded. “They sound like good people.”
Katie looked at Juntto. “We’re going to head to the base.”
Juntto stretched his arms. “I’ll stay on this side of the country just in case.”
Katie stood up. “Good. You need me, call me. We’ll hop a portal and roll to you.”
Korbin and Calvin entered the plane, putting their bags in the overhead compartments. They took seats across from each other, letting out simultaneous sighs of relief as they looked out the windows at Paris. Korbin had talked to the government, and they were more than comfortable with them leaving. He didn’t need to be told twice. They were only in the plane for a few minutes before they latched it up and headed out, taking off smoothly.
They sat silently watching out the window as they climbed. The stewardess came over, bringing a bottle of bourbon and two glasses. “I was told by Katie that the two of you might need this.”
They laughed and thanked her. Korbin opened it and poured them each a glass. He lifted his up in the air and tapped Calvin’s. “This is going to be a long flight, but at least we have bourbon to pass the time.”
Calvin chuckled, clinking back. “Hell, yeah, we do. It’s been a while since we’ve been able to relax.”
Korbin took a sip and laughed. “I think that’s why I love flying so much. No matter what is going down on the surface, there is nothing we can do until the plane touches down. It’s pretty much forcing us to take a breather and relax.”
Calvin nodded. “Amen to that. I don’t know how many times I wished the plane ride was a little longer. Usually when I’m headed to an assignment, though, not heading home.”
They sat there quietly for a moment, and then Calvin glanced at Korbin. He wanted to have a heart-to-heart and had been waiting for the right time. He couldn’t really think of a better one. “I want you to know something, Korbin. I really believe in what you and the general are doing—putting forts all over the world, protecting all these people, and giving them some sort of chance for survival. It’s really selfless of you guys.”
Korbin smiled. “We are fighting for all of humanity, not just our own lives.”
Calvin grinned, nodding his head. “I agree, but I do have a concern. As much as I have always loved putting the rest of the world before me, I do have to start thinking about the people I’ve brought into my life. I have a baby on the way, and although I’ve known it this whole time, it really didn’t hit me until I saw that little belly on my wife. There is a child in there who will depend on me, at least partially, for its life and everything that comes with it.”
Korbin let out a long, deep breath. “I know, man. I want you to be honest. What do you want to do?”
Calvin looked out the window and back at Korbin. “Honestly? I want to stay at the base with my wife. I want to be there for her and for this baby. At the same time, though, I don’t want to leave you hanging or cause anyone to be unsafe.”
Korbin reached across and squeezed Calvin’s shoulder. “Trust me…if anyone understands, it’s me. I might not have any kids, but I have a wife who I used to have a normal life with. If Katie hadn’t done what she did, I would have never pulled the plug, and that would have been a huge mistake. Let’s get back, and we can figure it all out there. We’ll work something out.”
The guys sat there for a while talking about nothing, really; just shooting the shit. After a few more bourbons, though, both of them could feel their eyes closing. They pulled the blankets out and curled up, quickly falling asleep. Paris had been amazing, but Korbin and Calvin were absolutely exhausted.
The two guys slept for a really long time, the flight attendant coming through and closing all the blinds. The lights in the cabin were dimmed, and the only sound was the humming of the engines as they soared toward home.
“Let’s get drunk, bitches!” Pandora
’s voice rang out.
Korbin and Calvin sat bolt upright, wiping the drool from their chins and looking around in a daze. Calvin looked out the window in shock. “Holy shit, we just slept from a little ways outside Paris to New York City.”
Katie stepped into the cabin and smiled. “Then you obviously needed the sleep. I feel you there. Unfortunately, blackouts and politics refuse to let me sleep.”
Calvin and Korbin stood up to greet them. Katie hugged them both, Pandora following behind her. Pandora gave Korbin a quick hug and a nod, then turned to Calvin, pulling him in. She hugged him tightly, hanging on for just a little too long.
Calvin glanced at Katie, straining as Pandora squeezed him. “I’m a married man. Just a reminder.”
Pandora scoffed, leaning back and looking him up and down. “You’re packing dong enough for a couple of sister-wives. We can head out to Utah and hook it up. Then your wife would never be lonely.”
Calvin laughed. “I don’t think she would be down for that, and I am not crazy enough to take on two women. I am good with just one. I don’t know about you being out of Katie as much as you are.”
Pandora sneered. “Oh, because I’m a unique individual with agency and shit? Why do strong women intimidate you, Calvin? Check your privilege.”
Calvin blinked at her. “You just groped and harassed me.”
Pandora patted Calvin’s ass as she scooted past him. “You’re right. Sorry, sweetheart.”
Calvin shook his head and let out a deep sigh of frustration. “That’s not… I mean, I guess it’s a start.”
7
Brock stood in front of a group of soldiers who were smoking. “Does it look like taking a break right now is an option? Those fucking crates are not going to move themselves, so unless you want me to use your faces to move them, I suggest you get your asses moving. NOW!”
The soldiers threw down their cigarettes and took off in all directions, picking up anything they found in their way. Brock found Turner laying into a couple of newbies. “You are on my base, motherfuckers. We are not playing around. This place better look like it just got cleaned by the mouth of a fucking virgin by the time you are done. And if you ever open your eye holes that wide at me again, I’ll make sure you are seeing nothing but my fist coming at your skull. MOVE!”
The newbies ran off, looking like they were about to piss their pants. Turner turned to Brock and grinned from ear to ear. “Sometimes you got to scare them into doing shit. It’s the only way.”
Brock chuckled, putting his hands on his hips and looking around the base. “I know this is all a process, and I know that we have been doing a hell of a job out here, but I want this place in tip-top shape for when Korbin gets here. Not only is he a hardass when it comes to stuff like this, but he deserves to come back to a little organization, peace, and quiet.”
Turner patted him hard on the back. “Shit, brother, you don’t have to tell me that. He is a veteran. He is a badass who will be doing this shit until he dies. He deserves top-notch organization when he gets here.”
Brock nodded. “Damn right he does, and we are going to make sure that when he steps off that plane, he doesn’t side-eye anything out here. If I were him, and hopefully one day I will be, I would expect the same out of the people I work with and who work for me.”
Turner glanced at a group of soldiers who were moving slowly. “I’m going to go bust their asses.”
Brock laughed. “All right, man. I’m gonna go check on Stephanie; see what she’s up to.”
Turner took off in one direction as Brock slowly began to walk toward the main barracks. The wind was whipping pretty strongly that day, but they had put up barriers to try to keep the sand blow low. They seemed to be working pretty well. As he approached the building, he found Stephanie on her knees in front of her little desert garden. She was smoothing the beds down and watering them, and admiring the tiny little sprouts poking up.
Brock came up next to her. “Those are growing fast. Glad we put in the raised beds. They wouldn’t have been the same in the greenhouse.”
Stephanie smiled. “Just hope they make it.”
Brock looked around. “Can I do anything for you?”
Stephanie chuckled, leaning back on her heels. “Not unless you can speed up time and get the plane here a little faster.”
While everyone else worked hard, Eddie had slipped away to try to get some target practice in. He had put his team to work cleaning up the armory and polishing the gear. With Coco in him now, he figured he could get some work done on his shooting. The little guy was kind of annoying, but in the back of Eddie’s mind, he knew it was mostly because when they argued, the little demon was usually right. Nonetheless, he helped Eddie aim and gave him a lot more strength then he’d expected.
Eddie laid down in the sand with his rifle, propping it on the stand. With no walls on the range, he had to use his stand, not usually liking it because it tended to wobble. He put his eye to the scope and looked through, aiming at the target. Coco stayed quiet, letting him concentrate. Eddie took a deep breath and slowly breathed out as he squeezed the trigger.
He took recoil into his shoulder and lifted his head, looking down the range. He had completely missed the target. The bullet had sped past and lodged in one of the wooden beams that held up the shelter from the sand. Eddie growled and sat up, shaking his head. “That’s fucking terrible. I can’t shoot the target even without the sand blowing in my fucking face.”
Coco cleared his throat. Now, I know you aren’t big on people telling you anything, but I can help. That’s what I’m here for. I could fix your aim, but that would be dumb. If you can do it on your own, then I come in and fix any small shifts you might need. That way we are working together on this and not taking the heavy.
Eddie clenched his teeth. All right. What, in your opinion, is my problem? I assume it has something to do with the stand.
Coco flinched. I wouldn’t say that. I would say it’s more due to the fact that you are aiming high left.
Eddie looked at the gun and then at the target, shaking his head. Bullshit. My aim is dead on. I got it in the crosshairs, then, when I pull the trigger, it is completely off.
Coco groaned. Okay, so that time may have been a fluke. But the rest of the time, when you hit the target, you aren’t dead on. You aren’t hitting the bullseye. You know just as well as I do that that can mean taking down a demon or having it take you down.
Eddie huffed, laid down again, and put his eye to the scope, moving the gun down and to the right. Fine.
He let out a deep breath and pulled the trigger. When he looked up, his face went flat. He had hit the target right in the bullseye. Eddie sat up and pulled his ball cap off, wiping his forehead. All right, I guess you were right. I’m sorry for doubting you.
Coco didn’t make a big deal about it. Hey, I understand. You don’t have much faith in me since I’m a demon. It’s not like I haven’t experienced it before. In here I can talk better; get my words out better. Out there, I came off as a cute little demon with a small vocabulary. People treated me like I was an idiot.
Eddie shrugged. I guess that sucks. I can kind of relate since I am not the most intelligent person. I make up for it with brawn and tactics.
Coco chuckled. You are a badass. You can say it.
Eddie smiled. So, tell me about you, Coco. I know you’re a demon, but I have come to understand that demons have their own personalities, likes and dislikes, and ways of handling the world. Much like humans, but we tend to have a moral compass and compassion.
Coco laughed. True. Humans are fragile-hearted creatures, to say the least. Let’s see. I’m pretty simple. My favorite food is burgers. I like all burgers, especially with melty cheese, mushrooms, mayo, and a fried egg. Mmm, delicious. Makes me want one right now.
Eddie rubbed his stomach. And apparently, that makes me want one too. When the day is over, we’ll get a burger if we can.
Coco was excited by that prospect and kept tal
king. Let’s see, what else? Oh, I like movies and shows, too. I like that show Deadwood. You know, the one where they curse all the time and the scenery never changes? That’s a good one. And my other favorite is Paw Patrol. They never cuss in that one.
Eddie furrowed his brow. Uh… Paw Patrol? The kids’ show?
Coco cackled. Mmhmm. I like puppies, especially when they are super furry and they run up and lick you in the face. I was stuck in a kid one time, not meaning to be. Well, he watched a lot of shows like that. He also had a puppy, Howie. He was a husky, a baby one. I miss him.
Eddie was curious. What happened to the kid?
Coco sighed. There was some Damned priest who exorcised me and sent me back to hell. I came back, but the kid is grown up now. Oh! You know what you should get? You should get a Paw Patrol tattoo on your arm. That would be amazing!
Eddie chuckled. Uh, we might have to discuss that one. That might fuck me up with the other guys.
Coco went quiet for a minute. Eddie, I have something to tell you. Something that I’ve been holding back, but now I know I can’t wait. It’s really important.
Timothy sighed as he put his feet up on the desk. He sneered, leaning forward and rubbing a scuff from the top of his shoe. “Three-hundred-dollar loafers and I can’t keep them clean. You would think I was one of those soldiers running all around the base.”
Sean smirked, rolling his chair across the dungeon and typing something into the computer. “You should just walk around in those little hospital booties. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about it.”
Timothy gasped, putting his feet down. “I would rather die. Are you seeing anything on those stats over there?”
Sean looked at the screen, squinting as he moved the picture over. “No, nothing. I thought for sure it was revving back up again.”
Timothy shook his head. “I just don’t get what is going on. No incursions forever, then one huge one in Washington DC, then nothing again. Incursions are becoming more rare than regular. That alone gives me cause to worry.”