by Michael Todd
Sofia shook her finger, still pacing. “BUT…we know what they’re not. We know one hundred percent that they are not humans. So, since we know what they aren’t, we could still use Timothy’s tech for locating incursions but adjust it.”
The doctor tilted his head and stared thoughtfully at her. Sofia nodded at him. “Just try to follow me for a second. I know it sounds strange now, but there is a point to it in the end. I’ve been putting a lot of thought into this over the last few days. Right now, when we use the system, we are looking for one type of energy: demonic. That means we have to search for human energy too because of the Damned. But what if instead of searching for demonic energy, we scan the planet, eliminating the humans from the search?”
The doctor grinned. “Basically, you are saying that you want us to look for everything that isn’t human? You have to stop and think about how the scan works. Everything that gives off energy can be picked up by it. Animals, and even some plants, have been seen. We witnessed that when we were scanning the oceans and picked up energy coming off a specific type of algae that grouped together in the Atlantic. What you’re proposing here is that we not only adjust the program for every human, but it would have to be adjusted for every living thing in the entire world.”
Sofia sighed as the doctor spoke. She hadn’t thought about that.
Doctor Ozu could see she was trying. “Think about science and technology. Think about our capabilities within the time frames that we are given. It would be incredibly complex and have too much data to compress the search into such a small sector, and we would be looking for an energy where we don’t even know how it is emitted. If we had, say, twenty years to perfect it, we could definitely work out a system for that. We would input every species of living thing on the planet.”
Sofia glanced at him. “But we don’t have twenty years. We barely have twenty hours, and most days it’s down to minutes or even seconds.”
Ozu tapped his pen on his notebook. “Exactly. It would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. The world is just too big for anything like that to work in the time we would need it to, not to mention the many species of animals in places like the Amazon and the oceans that have not even been identified yet. People don’t realize we are still discovering species on our own planet.”
Sofia paced faster, rubbing her temples. She knew she had the answer to the problem; she knew it. She walked back and forth for another couple of minutes, then heard the doctor stand. Suddenly she stopped, her eyes darting around. “Wait. Wait. So the system might not work for finding new Leviathans, but what about finding ones that we know about already?”
The doctor took a seat again. “Go on. That has merit.”
It was warmer outside but the wind was still wild, blowing sand all around, even into the small courtyard in front of the barracks. On that day, even the large buildings didn’t keep the sand from swirling in and slamming into anyone who happened to be walking through. The soldiers were all wearing bandanas tied around their mouths, hoping the gusts would slow down soon. Eddie, Turner, Brock, and Sean came into the courtyard, putting the guys on a break to get something to eat.
Turner pulled his bandana up over his nose. “This shit is crazy. I feel like I could pour out my fucking lungs and make a damn sand castle with what’s inside.”
Sean pulled his coat collar up and hunkered down. “The wind blew my wheelchair sideways. I thought for sure I was going to end up crawling back here.”
Eddie chuckled, punching Sean on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. Your friend Timothy would surely carry you back.”
Brock smiled. “Be careful. The last guy who showed he was a homophobic douche-canoe, Sean punched straight in the face.”
Pandora and Katie walked out of the barracks and up to them, the sand and wind not seeming to bother them in the least. Katie nodded. “Hey, guys. So, we’ve been working on it, and I think I can open a portal to hell and Pandora and I can bring back demons for you guys. I know we’ve been promising it, and Pandora and I are both feeling better, so we didn’t want to leave here or be called away without having at least dropped your demons.”
Eddie rubbed Turner’s shoulders excitedly. “What do you think, boys? Is it time to get the band back together and get out there to kick some fucking demon ass? Huh? I got mine ready and rolling. You just need to amp up and get yours.”
Turner lifted his eyebrow. “Does Eddie’s even count as a demon? I feel like he could fit two in there, as small as his is.”
Eddie slapped the back of Turner’s head. “Not what your mom said. She was begging for me to slow it down, she just couldn’t take the massive size of the thing.”
Pandora chuckled. “Please, I can tell a big dick a mile away, and brother, you are not on the list. But don’t fret. Neither is Tucker.”
Tucker stopped laughing and frowned. Pandora patted Sean’s shoulder. “But old Sean here—he could rival some of the guys in size. That’s for damn sure.”
Sean shook his head, his cheeks red. “Not even sure if it works anymore.”
Pandora winked at him. “We could take it for a test drive later, if you know what I mean.”
Turner sighed. “Okay, enough about Sean’s dick. I am ready to go and all about it. I have been only human for far too long, and I’m tired of the weakness.”
Katie smiled and looked down at Sean. “How about you? You want big and hefty or slim and fast? Or are you more of an intelligence guy? That could take a bit to find down there.”
Sean shook his head, looking up at the guys. “Sorry, guys. I’ll always be on your team, but I’m not interested in being Damned again. At least not right now. I have really enjoyed having my body to myself these last few months.”
Eddie bent down next to him. “Just one thing. It’s your choice, of course. But what about your legs? A demon could jump in there and have you healed up in two hours. You could be sprinting around the course like you used to, beating all of us by at least a lap.”
Sean nodded. “That’s been my biggest thought about not getting a demon. But when it all comes down to it, I want to be me. I want to be in control of myself, whatever that means. If it means being stuck in this chair, then I’m fine with that. I might change my mind later, but for right now, I’m solid.”
Eddie smiled at him. “Then I support your decision one hundred percent. It’s your choice. We’ll miss you in the field, but we want what’s best for you.”
Turner fist-bumped Sean. “Yeah, man. I’m down with whatever you need. And shit, if you get a hankering to go out in the field, I’ll strap you to my shoulder and you can just blast the demons down like a fucking turret.”
Brock laughed, patting Sean on the shoulder. “Me too, buddy. I’ll support whatever it is you choose. We only get one life up here, and you have to decide how you want to live it.”
Eddie tilted his head to the side. “Well, we kinda got two since we can be Damned again and all, but I get what you’re saying.”
Pandora took a deep breath. “Boys, one thing I’ve learned after being here for centuries is that humans have short, fragile lives. Some die miserable, and some die happy. The ones who are happy, they’ve made decisions in their lives that were exactly what they wanted. They didn’t back down.”
Katie clapped her hands. “Okay. Then Brock, Turner, Eddie, you guys pull out your weapons. Sean, I would suggest you move back a bit. I don’t want the demon I grab to go running right into you as soon as it hits land. They don’t really care; they just look for a body to take.”
Sean nodded and wheeled his chair back, moving as far as he could and still have a shot if the demon got wild. This wasn’t going to be the safest thing in the world. Katie and Pandora pulled open a portal after some effort, and Katie glanced at Pandora. “All right, let’s jump in and get this shit done.”
16
The cinders that were rolling down the volcano shimmered brightly before bursting into flames. The heat was pumping strong, and the smell was somethi
ng along the lines of ten-year-old rotten eggs mixed with the sweat of a wildebeest. Pandora wrinkled her nose as she climbed through the portal. “Ugh. What the fuck? I don’t remember it smelling like this in here before. What, I lose my demon powers and suddenly my fucking nose works?”
Katie put her hands on her hips, squinting at the waves of heat. “Ah, hell. It’s not great to be back. No. Not at all.”
Pandora shook her head and dove into Katie, already having had enough. I have complete faith that you have this. You know something smells bad when you prefer the aroma of live human kidneys and liver, not to mention the bowels, over the outside air.
Katie smiled. Don’t worry. Just going to snag one of these morons and we can be out here lickity-split. I’m sure they will come to see me any moment…
Katie kept the smile plastered on her face and her hands on her hips, robotically turning back and forth to look for any sign of a nearby demon. Yep. Any second…
Pandora groaned. I know this seems like a bright idea, but they apparently aren’t in this area.
Katie dropped her smile. Fine. Then I guess I will just have to bring them to me or go hunt one of these sonsofbitches down. What is it with this place? You don’t want to be detected, and they come in droves. You do, and they are all somewhere picking their fucking asses.
Katie loosened up, shaking her arms by her sides. She wrinkled her nose as she slapped her hands together, a whirlwind of air swirling up from her feet into the dark sky. Her armor appeared, clamping hard to her body. When she reached up, her angel sword slammed into her hand. She switched hands and shook it, snarling. Okay, angel-armor-giver guy. No need to fucking throw it at me like a damn bus. Now, this should bring them.
She stood there for a second before looking down to see a few pebbles bouncing. Pandora chuckled. I think you are going to get your wish.
Katie looked up to find a pretty big demon racing toward her. Nice. That’s a big fucker. Come to Momma. We got places to be and people to infect.
She took off, flying straight for him. She could see him flinch, waiting for the punch, and she laughed as she whizzed by him and quickly turned, taking off again. She flew toward his back, not wanting to be anywhere near his jowls. As she approached, her feet touched down. Katie took two steps and leapt into the air, going full wrestling on his ass.
Her legs wrapped tightly around his torso and she put one arm around his neck and the other on his forehead to keep his head from dipping down. She forced him down on one knee and released her right hand. Pandora popped out and took it, and together they opened another portal. Katie did a backflip off him and grabbed him by the back of the neck to toss him through the portal.
The demon was highly confused. “Hey! Wait! What the fuck? Ahhhhhhhhhh!” He shot through the portal and went rolling across the sandy ground. He slid on his face until coming to a stop in the middle of the courtyard.
The demon grunted, then put both hands down and pushed himself up. He spat right and left, trying to get the sand out of his mouth. Standing up, he brushed the sand from his body and looked around. Standing around him were the guys, their guns cocked and pointed at his head. The demon threw out his hands. “What the hell? I didn’t even do anything.”
First Pandora and then Katie stepped carefully through the portal, steam rising off their shoulders. The portal slammed shut behind them and Katie slowly raised the tip of her sword, pointing it at the demon. “I’ve got a deal for you, demon. Turner, come here.”
Turner hurried over, keeping his gun pointed at the beast. Katie nodded, pushing down on it. “It’s all right. I think we got this.”
Turner nodded, putting his pistol in the back of his pants. He stood tall, looking the demon up and down. The beast raised an eyebrow, looking from Katie to Turner and back again. “Uh, what’s the deal?”
Katie smiled. “Well, you can either infect this strong young soldier here…”
The demon gagged. “Gross. Just gross.”
Katie gave him a deadpan look. “…or I’ll kill you. Forever. You see this armor and this sword? I am an angel. Do you know what that would mean for you?”
The demon let out a deep sigh. “Completely dead. Like never coming back. Poof.”
Katie nodded, flicking her sword up and down. “Very good. We might have a halfway-intelligent one here.”
She stared at the demon as drool dripped off his bottom lip. “Okay…or not. So, what you’re going to do is team up with Turner here. You guys are going to be best buddies. You’ll get to live on Earth, and fight and fuck to your heart’s content.”
Eddie lowered his gun a bit, laughing. “Just so you know, Turner hasn’t been laid since he paid that hooker in Columbia. He’s still got dick-pox, but he can fight.”
Turner flipped Eddie off and looked back at the demon. The beast sighed, realizing that he had no choice. He waved his big hand at the sword, rolling his eyes before taking off at high speed straight for Turner. About halfway there he jumped, his body becoming translucent and shrinking a bit, then he slammed into Turner’s chest and disappeared into him. Turner went over backward and hit the ground.
Everyone ran over, bending down next to him. Katie shook his arm. “Turner, can you hear me?”
Turner took a deep breath, scaring everyone, then began to laugh loudly. He opened his eyes, and they shimmered red. “Fuck yeah, boys. I’m back in action.”
Angie clapped her hands excitedly as she turned the large desktop computer screen an inch to the right. “This is so exciting. I’ve always wanted to do Twitch, but I never figured I would have a chance. I really hope I get some subscribers. This shit could be so awesome. I could become famous on the internet. Can you believe that?”
Juntto grunted, his tongue out of his mouth, staring at several bright lights they’d purchased to make everything look really good. He had the instructions in one hand and about five cords in the other, trying to figure it out. “Why do humans make things so hard? Just fucking have one plug and one switch. Light. Done.”
Angie giggled at him as he fiddled around, knocking over one light but catching it before it fell. He twisted the cords together, then ran them across the room and plugged them in. The lights came on, and Angie squinted. Juntto stood up and put his arms out. “Ta-da!”
Angie nodded. “That’s great. It’s like the fire of a thousand suns, but hey, maybe I’ll get a tan while I’m doing it.”
Juntto kissed Angie. “That’s right, look at the bright side. Get it…”
Angie rolled her eyes as he sat down in the chair in front of the computer. He pulled out the camera and situated it on top, moving it until he had a good clear picture. “This was expensive, but I look good.”
Angie laughed and came over to him. “What are you doing now?”
Juntto typed on the keyboard, shrinking a bit so his hands weren’t so big. “I am just connecting your computer so that it will stream the game. Then you will have the live stream and the cam. You will be a cam girl!”
He got up and went back over to the lights, looking at the stream as he tried to turn down the brightness. Angie sat down grumpily in the chair and pulled up Twitch so she could open an account. “For the last time, I am not a cam girl!”
Juntto growled as he tried to fix the light. It blinded Angie for a moment, and she glared at him, annoyed. “Why don’t you set up the account and I will fix the lights?”
Juntto took the pencil out from between the lights and nodded. “Probably a good idea. I will screw it up. Can’t screw up setting up a Twitch account.”
Angie shook her head, chuckling as they switched places. She pulled a chair over and stepped up on it as Juntto sat down, cracking his knuckles and beginning to fill in the information. Angie smiled as she turned the lights down. “I could be finding a career here. This could be the start of my empire. It’s been a long time since I’ve tried to do something without everything crashing down immediately around me.”
Suddenly the computer blipped, and th
e screen began filling up with ad after ad. Juntto raised his hands up and pushed back the chair. “Uh, Angie?”
She looked at him, smiling. “Yeah?”
Another three pop-ups appeared, and the computer made a series of beeping noises. Her smile faded and she turned back, climbing off the chair. She walked over and hit the escape key a couple of times, but nothing happened. “Did you forget to turn on the ad blocker? Sometimes these sites can be insane.”
She skimmed the mouse up to the side of the toolbar, but it wouldn’t let her click on anything. She furrowed her brow and hit control, alt, and delete. She let go and waited, but still nothing moved on the screen. Slowly she turned her head toward Juntto. “Please tell me that you remembered to put Norton Anti-Virus on here before we started.”
Juntto blinked. “I thought you did it.”
Angie stood up, grabbing the sides of her head. “Holy shit. Not even five minutes into it and we have some sort of virus. Well, at least I didn’t have any personal information on here yet. We’ll just have to wipe the thing clean and start over. Damnit.”
Juntto raised a finger and grimaced. “Actually…”
Angie’s face fell. “Juntto! What did you do?!”
Juntto’s shoulders went up and he gritted his teeth, giving her a forced smile. “Well, I just entered your social security number. You know, like it tells you to do when you are filling out the forms?”
Angie stood there frozen, staring intensely at Juntto with a look of anger and confusion. “My social security number? How do you even know that?”
He chuckled nervously. “You said it one time with the bank and I read this article that said one sign of being in a serious relationship is knowing your partner’s social, so I thought it was a human thing. They need it, don’t they?”
Juntto gasped, looking at the screen as more pop-ups filed in, the mouse now moving on its own. “Wait! Are we Twitching now? Is this what Twitching feels like? It’s so comfortable and magnificent. Look at how the screen changes so fast, and it looks like the Twitches move your mouse for you. That’s great customer service.”