The Little Old Lady Who Broke All the Rules

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The Little Old Lady Who Broke All the Rules Page 32

by Catharina Ingelman-Sundberg


  ‘Although if you think they’re going to steal something, shouldn’t we wait until they’ve committed the crime?’ Lönnberg asked.

  ‘Okay, if you want. I’m feeling ravenous at the moment. I must get a hot dog first. There’s a kiosk over there, shall I get you one too?’

  Lönnberg hesitated, but he was hungry too. He had a good look around and decided that the situation was under control.

  ‘Okay then, but look sharp about it. We mustn’t lose sight of them. If they’re going to commit a crime, then we must be there, right?’

  ‘It’ll only take a minute,’ said Strömbeck.

  Inspector Lönnberg slowed down and stopped, and Strömbeck quickly nipped out of the car.

  Martha looked in the rear-view mirror again. The blue Volvo was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps it was just one of the many people from Djursholm who drove a Volvo; she might have been mistaken. Regardless, she must be very observant. Nothing could be allowed to go wrong now. Then she caught sight of the Volvo again. Double rear mirrors. So it was the police! Quickly and without slowing down, she wound down the side window and let the carton of galvanized nails fall onto the road in front of the dark blue car. This was purely a cautionary measure, but she thought it was best to be on the safe side. Attention to detail always paid off in the end, and they had prepared themselves as best they could.

  The previous day they had timed the security-van deliveries around the suburbs and noted how long it took for the guards to walk in and out with the security cases. Above all, they wouldn’t make the same mistake as the villains they had recently read about. Those crooks had rented a crane and yanked out the entire ATM machine. However, that wasn’t where the money was kept, it was next to it.

  Martha didn’t lose sight of the Loomis security van, and she felt the same tingle in her tummy as she had the time they had robbed the spa in the Grand Hotel. What were a few personal valuables compared to this? A big-time robbery like this could even render them a four-year sentence and none of them wanted to end up behind bars again. The Princess Lilian suite had spoiled them.

  ‘Do you think they suspect the van?’ Christina asked for the third time from the back seat.

  ‘Well, I’ve never read of any similar robberies,’ said Martha.

  ‘That’s what is so neat about it,’ Rake butted in. ‘The police don’t have any old crimes to compare with, so they won’t suspect anything. Believe me, this is going to go well.’

  ‘Here’s the first ATM that the Loomis van is going to fill,’ Anna-Greta informed them. ‘They ought to have nine full security cases left in the van. Every case contains four cassettes with five hundred thousand kronor each. That makes almost nineteen million. We can live well on that for a long time.’

  ‘Now, now, first we must pay you back for the stay at the Grand Hotel—’ Martha started.

  ‘Yes, that was most annoying,’ Anna-Greta interjected. ‘I tried to freeze the account, but they had already processed the payment.’

  ‘Well, for unforeseen costs in the future we might have to reckon on journeys, hotels and expenses. The rest will go to the Robbery Fund, I promise,’ said Martha.

  ‘Shush, look,’ Brains cut her short. ‘The van’s in position.’ He took Anders’s extra mobile phone and, using the pay-as-you-go card, quickly entered a number. When he heard the signal at the other end, he turned the phone off. He didn’t need to do more than that. Anders knew what to do. The guards slowed down in front of them, stopped beside the ATM and got out. Martha stopped, still a bit away, but didn’t turn the engine off. The guards opened the back doors, took out a security case, locked the doors again and went into the bank. They didn’t even look around.

  ‘Right, we’re off,’ said Rake. He opened the door of the van and got out.

  ‘With you,’ said Brains, and he too got out. Martha saw how they crept up to the security van, glanced all around and set to work. Brains dealt with the alarm and Rake with the back doors. If everything went according to plan, Rake ought to be able to press the resin with metal shavings into the lock. When the guards closed the doors the next time, they would shut—but not properly. Then the five of them could strike. In the end, everything depended on Rake being successful. They had, after all, only tried the trick on their own van.

  ‘Where’s Anders?’ Brains whispered when he got back into the van again. ‘I phoned him. He ought to be here now.’

  ‘He’s not going to let us down, is he? Christina promised that if he helped us he would get an advance on his inheritance now,’ Martha replied.

  ‘Don’t you worry! I believe in Anders,’ said Brains. ‘He’ll probably want to join us again—’

  ‘Now listen, we’ll pay him as agreed. I mean, he can’t be a member of the League of Pensioners,’ Martha protested.

  When the two security guards had swapped the cases behind the ATM, they took the old case, opened the back doors and put it inside. Then they locked the doors and went and sat in the front. The back door lock hadn’t engaged properly, but they hadn’t noticed because Brains had sprayed the camera lens and disconnected the alarm. Martha quickly put the van into first gear, accelerated and then went straight into fourth gear, which stalled the engine, and the Green Menace came to a halt diagonally in front of the Loomis van. While Martha pretended to start the engine again, Christina, supported by Rake, tottered up to the van’s driver’s door and knocked on the window. She had on a dark wig, was heavily made-up and wore plastic fangs from a joke shop. Rake, for his part, had a light beard and wig and looked much younger than he was. When the driver rolled down the window, Rake discreetly went round the van to the other door.

  ‘The engine has stalled. Could you possibly help us?’ Christina asked, pointing at the van. Meanwhile, Anna-Greta came alongside with a bunch of flowers drenched in ether.

  ‘This is for you,’ she said, smiling kindly, and pushed the flowers through the window and right into the faces of the guards. Then she jammed her walking stick under the door handle. The guards attempted to get out the other side, but Rake had already squirted Instant Glue into the lock. The next moment, Christina poured the entire contents of the ether bottle onto the driver’s seat and just managed to get her hand in through the gap in the door to close the side window before the men turned round. Then she slammed the door.

  ‘Now you’ve no possibility of getting out,’ she mumbled proudly and became almost disappointed when she saw that the guards had already become unconscious. Then Anna-Greta quickly retrieved her stick and the walker and returned with Christina to the van. Brains and Rake moved to the back doors of the Loomis van. When Anders drove up with his trailer, they had already managed to ease the doors open.

  ‘The simplest things cause the most difficulties,’ said Brains as he chipped away the resin with the metal shavings.

  The trailer was loaded with two freezers filled with carbon dioxide snow and a box of paper streamers. Balloons had been tied to the sides of the trailer, and in one corner there was a large poster proclaiming: Congratulations! Anders jumped up onto the trailer and opened the freezers, and while the white carbon dioxide mist ran down from them Brains and Rake grabbed the first two security cases. They placed them carefully on Rake’s walker.

  ‘Easy does it so we don’t trigger the mechanism,’ Brains urged, but Rake walked softly and safely towards the trailer on his seaman’s legs. After which Anders—who was wearing thick gloves—lowered first one case and then the other into the freezer and put some ice on top. When they had got eight of the cases into the freezers and turned round to fetch the last one, Martha suddenly called out.

  ‘Hurry up. We must be off.’ She pointed at a group of men in suits carrying briefcases who were coming towards them. The men were talking loudly and rapidly approaching.

  ‘We’ll just manage the last one,’ Brains said as Rake hurried off. This time, too, they succeeded in getting the case into the carbon dioxide snow and had barely closed the back doors of the Loomis van before the
suits got to the trailer.

  ‘You can’t park here,’ one of them said, kicking the wheel.

  ‘Be careful!’ Martha shrieked, almost in falsetto, but Anders was quicker. He pressed the lids of the freezers shut and gave a wide smile.

  ‘Hen party! What a lovely surprise she’s going to get, the bride,’ he said and winked at them. ‘Never get married,’ he added. Then he gave each of them a balloon before getting back into the car. He slowly engaged first gear and drove off. Martha gaped at this and thought that perhaps he wasn’t so hopeless after all. Together with Brains and Rake, she hurried into the van again. When the men had closed the doors off they drove.

  ‘Now we’re on our way,’ Anna-Greta’s satisfied voice could be heard. ‘They should have seen this at the bank.’

  Martha pulled out from the parking area and followed Anders out from the district and then towards the E4 and Arlanda airport.

  ‘Amazing, it worked!’ Rake called out.

  ‘Mind you, we aren’t on the plane yet,’ said Martha, accelerating.

  It wasn’t until they were approaching Sollentuna that she noticed the car behind them. It was a grey Mercedes.

  Seventy-Four

  ‘Why the hell did you have to go and get a hot dog? Now we’ve lost them again,’ Lönnberg hissed while he looked out across the parking area. It was almost dark and he couldn’t see the taxibus. Such a large vehicle ought to be easy to make out, but it was green, of course, an awkward colour at this time of year.

  ‘Now, now, you had a hamburger and you spilt all that ketchup on the driver’s seat. Above all, you could have kept your eyes open. You should never run over something lying in the road,’ Strömbeck replied.

  ‘But damn it! How was I supposed to know that that somebody had dropped a carton of nails?’ Lönnberg muttered.

  ‘A hundred galvanized fluted nails that’d pierce any tire,’ Strömbeck said, to make it clearer. ‘Lucky we had a spare with us.’

  ‘That’s enough. End of subject. We’ve got to find the oldies.’

  ‘All we need now is for them to do something foolish. Then I’d apply for retraining. New career,’ said Strömbeck.

  ‘Me too,’ said Lönnberg, starting the car and putting it into first gear. ‘But I don’t think we need to worry. They’ll have gone to the chiropodist this time too.’

  ‘Hang on, you don’t usually find those inside ATMs.’

  Lönnberg pretended not to hear, accelerated and completely forgot to look in the rear-view mirror. If he had, he would have seen the jack and all the tools lying in the road.

  Martha breathed deeply a few times and pressed the accelerator harder.

  ‘What shall we do? The Mercedes is following us.’

  ‘Oh Christ, the Mercedes? Any car but that!’ said Brains, who immediately realized what it was about. The grey Mercedes outside Diamond House … that was what he had been worried about. Juro and his brothers—they had followed him. At first, perhaps they only intended borrowing him for technical consultations, but then they had probably understood what was in the offing. Timing the visits to the ATMs, loitering outside Täby, test driving with the trailer the day before. Juro and his mates knew exactly what it was about. Fifteen to twenty million …

  ‘The Yugoslavs,’ he mumbled. ‘And Anders, who’s on his way to the barn.’

  ‘Oh Lord, I think they’re going to force us off the road,’ said Martha.

  ‘Phone Anders and say we’ll be late. Meanwhile, we can try to shake them off,’ Christina suggested.

  ‘We’ll all be getting a good shaking,’ said Martha. ‘No, hang on, I know—’ she said and made a sudden U-turn.

  Rake gave a curse and almost fell off his seat.

  ‘What the hell? You and your driving …’

  ‘What in the name of heaven are you doing?’ Anna-Greta cried out.

  ‘Next stop, Danderyd Church. I’ve got an idea,’ said Martha. It wasn’t as though they could object, because she was already going at full speed, hunched over the steering wheel. ‘We’re in for a rough ride!’

  ‘Yes, that’s what I’m afraid of,’ Rake grumbled.

  When the medieval church came into view along the highway, Martha changed to a lower gear and took the next exit. The engine was screaming and Brains hoped that the van was going to cope with this. You never knew whether to trust Internet purchases. He glanced in the rear-view mirror; the Mercedes was still after them. He also caught sight of another familiar car. A dark blue Volvo.

  ‘No, not that too. Now we’ve got two cars chasing us!’ he groaned. Martha checked the rear-view mirror.

  ‘The mafia and the police. That really is—’ She made a sharp turn towards the church.

  ‘But Martha, you’ve gone the wrong way. Stop! We should be on the way to Arlanda!’ Christina squealed, confused.

  ‘Didn’t you say that we should shake off our pursuers?’ Martha answered

  ‘With a van? Don’t tell me you’re going to lower the ramp too,’ groaned Rake.

  ‘But why are we going to the church?’ Anna-Greta gasped and hung on to the door handle for all she was worth.

  ‘We’ll go inside and pray,’ Martha answered and slowed down.

  ‘Not that too,’ Rake sighed.

  Martha braked and the van came to a halt.

  ‘I’ll drop you off here and park the van a bit farther away. Take the walkers and go slowly into the church. When you get to the altar, make the sign of the cross.’

  ‘Like hell I will,’ said Rake.

  ‘Well, pick up a psalm book, then. Walk slowly and dignified as if you were going to a religious service. Don’t forget that we are old and confused. It we take things calmly then we will look innocent and nobody will think we are up to anything suspicious.’

  ‘But the mafia and the police. We can’t damn well—’ started Rake.

  ‘Out with you. Hurry up!’

  ‘Two cars are chasing us and you make us go into a church,’ Brains sighed.

  ‘I’ll explain later. Into the church now. This is going to work out OK, and as soon as we’re done we can continue to the airport. But don’t forget the walkers.’ Martha shooed her friends out of the van and closed the door. Then she parked as close to the church as she could.

  ‘Oh hell, now I give up,’ said Inspector Lönnberg when he saw the van turn off towards Danderyd Church. ‘When we finally find them again, they’re on their way to church. No way am I bloody well going to sit through a church service.’

  ‘But what are they doing there? Sermons and that sort of stuff, that’s only on Sundays,’ Strömbeck reflected.

  ‘They will be confessing their sins.’

  ‘Unless they’re after the church silver, of course.’

  ‘Look, it’s past six o’clock. Our shift has finished. I reckon we should push off,’ said Lönnberg. ‘I’ve had my fill of trailing those van carcasses.’ He eased up on the accelerator and looked longingly towards the city.

  ‘You can’t say that. We must carry on following them. Who knows what they might have been up to since we lost them in Täby. What about all the ATMs they visited yesterday?’ said Strömbeck.

  ‘Perhaps the word ATM features in one of their crosswords. Ah, come on, relax. Let’s push off.’

  ‘No, not until we have been relieved. Otherwise Petterson will blow his top,’ Strömbeck insisted.

  ‘OK, we’ll take a minute to check on them.’ He changed gear, turned off towards the church and drove into the parking lot outside.

  ‘If they’ve stolen something, the money ought to be in the van, oughtn’t it?’ Strömbeck said.

  ‘Hang on, just look over there. They’re going into the church with their walkers and all,’ said Lönnberg.

  ‘Let ‘em be. But we are going to search the van. You never know. We might catch them red-handed,’ said Strömbeck. He had made up his mind. The two policemen got out and went up to the driver’s side of the van and knocked on the window.

  ‘Police!�
��

  Martha wound down the window.

  ‘Well now, good afternoon, good afternoon to you,’ she said with a smile. ‘My, oh my, what fancy uniforms you’re wearing today.’

  To his horror, Lönnberg felt he was blushing. He leaned towards her.

  ‘We’d like to check the vehicle. Please open the back doors,’ he said.

  ‘But goodness gracious, are you looking for smuggled goods? That is exciting. I’ll open them straight away. Do you want me to lower the ramp?’

  ‘No, thank you, we’ll manage,’ Strömbeck muttered.

  ‘If you find anything nice, couldn’t you give it to me? The pension, you know. It doesn’t stretch so far nowadays.’

  Strömbeck was just about to answer when the police radio sounded an alarm signal. He stopped and looked towards the Volvo.

  ‘Lönnberg, there’s something on the radio!’

  ‘Oh, hell, an alarm. Run and check, and I’ll carry on here,’ said Lönnberg. ‘This time I’m not going to give up. Now I’m going to nail them.’

  Determinedly, he walked round the van and yanked open the back doors. A walking stick, a pair of support stockings and some incontinence pads fell out. He climbed in and started to look around but was interrupted by Strömbeck, who came running back.

  ‘Lönnberg! There’s been a big robbery …’

  ‘What was I saying? Now we’ve got them. I bet you—’

  ‘But can’t you see? There’s nothing at all in here. They can’t have stolen invisible banknotes, can they?’

  That very same moment they heard the sound of a Mercedes diesel engine. The two policemen looked up. The car was going slowly as if the driver was looking for something.

  ‘Well, now, look there! A grey Mercedes. What if it’s the Yugoslavs?’

  ‘Perhaps that’s what the alarm is about.’

  ‘Smart of them to withdraw to a church. I’ll check the registration number.’ Strömbeck ran back to the Volvo again and turned on the computer. After a few moments clicking, he gave a whistle and jumped out of the car.

 

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