‘The similarity is heart-breaking some days. If I’m not careful, I can fall in to what ifs and maybes.’
‘I can’t believe I fathered a son with a gorgeous girl and I don’t remember doing it. I mean how unfair is that, not remembering the pleasurable bits on the beach?’
She blushed. ‘You were pretty amazing that night. I can honestly say I’ve never had a time since that’s matched it.’
‘Pander to my ego, why don’t you. A man likes to hear he’s the best time a girl ever had. It’s pretty infuriating I don’t remember any of it. Is Golden your real name, by the way?’
‘No. Two can play at that game. Changing our surname to Golden was a vain attempt at evading Rushton. As you’re aware, it didn’t work.’
‘Why on earth did you end up marrying someone like Rushton Jacob? You must have known he was a bad lot.’
‘He can be very charming and persuasive if he wants to be.’
‘But what did he say when he knew you were pregnant with another man’s child? I take it he did know the baby wasn’t his?’
Ellie traced the edge of her discarded toast with a finger. ‘He knew. He lived his life on a knife edge, but always seemed to avoid being held responsible for things. I think he’d got himself in hot water again and wanted the appearance of a settled family home life. A wife and a baby must have seemed like a good idea at the time.’ She lifted her eyes to look at Harry. ‘I gave him an alibi whenever he needed it.’
A stab of unknown emotion overwhelmed him. Could it possibly be jealousy?
‘I believed you were dead. I was eighteen and pregnant. My parents took a while to get used to my news, so they weren’t speaking to me. Rushton wanted me. I was scared and lonely, so I gave him what he wanted and for a while, it worked. He acted as Tom’s dad. It sounds really callous said like that, doesn’t it?’
‘You forget. I have a degree in survival. You were trying to survive in the best way you could and you seem to have done a pretty good job up until now.’
‘Our marriage worked while Tom was little. I pretended not to see the things Rushton was up to, even if sometimes it did make my hair stand on end. My parents, when they calmed down, were thrilled with a grandson. They weren’t very keen on Rushton though. They looked after Tom while I finished college, but when they died, mum not long after dad, Rushton became a lot more controlling. He wouldn’t let me do anything without his permission. I guess he knew I’d lost my escape route.’
‘I’m sad you had to go through that. Did he try to get you involved in his activities?’
‘No, thankfully. I think I was more value as an honest alibi.’
Phew! At least that was one thing off his mind, Ellie wasn’t complicit in Rushton’s dodgy activities, apart from by association.
‘When Tom was five, Rushton got angry when someone commented that he didn’t look anything like him. He stopped pretending to be his dad that day. Poor Tom didn’t understand why, of course. It was horrible to see him in pain and bewildered. Rushton started to use more serious drugs and soon after he went off me too.’
‘Is that when he started to hit you?’
‘Yes. He wasn’t in his right mind most of the time. You speak about survival – I was walking that tightrope you talked about every day.’
Harry squeezed her hand.
‘Water under the bridge. You can’t do anything about the past, the future might not arrive, all we have to work on is right now, right here.’
‘That’s Mandy’s favourite saying.’
‘Well it’s very true.’
‘Why does Rushton want you? How did he ever recognise you?’
‘I guess he’s angry about me supplying evidence that led to some of his friends going to prison. I exposed a major drug ring in the South-West, complete with warehouse and cannabis growing facility. Made his supply routes dry up for a while. Norrie died in prison in a fight with another inmate. Rushton knows those friends might be interested in knowing I’m still alive. I’m still surprised that he recognised me too, but then you did.’
‘True. Are you still an undercover cop?’
‘No. It took me a good while to recover from the attack. I still have little memory of the events of that night, but interestingly I remembered more as you were speaking about it. I bowed out of the police force soon afterwards and retrained as a teacher. Went to work abroad for a few years after qualifying, South Africa, Singapore … I enjoy teaching. It’s just a pity I’ve never been able to relax completely or feel settled.’
Ellie stroked the brown envelope.
‘My lifeline?’
‘Ellie, you do understand how dangerous Rushton is, don’t you? I mean he was dangerous before, but after being in prison, he will have made contacts and learned new skills. He’ll also know how to find you if you don’t disappear quickly and completely.’
‘I understand that and I’m grateful for your help. I feel bewildered and I’m not sure how Tom is going to react when I tell him we’re leaving. He’s madly in love with Louise for one thing. How will I get him to leave her behind?’
‘It will be tough, but he has to go and that means no contact with Louise on social media either.’
‘How on earth am I going to stop that?’
‘I think if you explain to Tom about the danger to you, he’ll understand. Besides, I’m sure his experiences over the last twenty-four hours will have had an impact. Social media is probably a no no for both of you. Connections can be made so quickly these days.’
Ellie put her hands over her face and shook her head. ‘I just hope he’s okay.’
Harry stood up.
‘Come on, let’s do this before I have time to consider the consequences.’
‘Hang on a minute. Why don’t we just give Rushton this money?’ She held up the packet.
He pulled a face. ‘Do you honestly think that would work? Would that ever be enough for him? Even if it was for now, he’d be back for more in time.’
She knew deep down that Harry was right, this was about more than money.
They left the café and bumped straight into Mandy on her way to open the gallery. Ellie hugged her friend tightly.
‘Hey, Ellie. What was that for?’
‘Just because,’ said Ellie, praying she didn’t cry or give anything away with her expression.
‘Have you two finally realised that you are perfect for each other?’ Mandy moved back and looked at the two of them. ‘That’s it, isn’t it? I’ve guessed. You’re dating Harry at last. Whoo hoo.’ Mandy hugged them both in turn and neither said anything to confirm or deny what she had said.
Ellie was relieved that the news of Tom’s disappearance hadn’t reached her friend. She felt guilty not telling her, but there wasn’t time and Mandy was sure to want some involvement in his rescue.
Despite the situation, she laughed aloud as they parted, because Harry deliberately linked his arm through hers. Mandy whooped in the background.
‘Tease.’ She shoved Harry playfully, then immediately remembered the nightmare they were living in and her delight departed.
He reminded her of the time and they hurried up the hill to the house she had imagined she would call home for many years to come. There was just time to quickly pack before the exchange.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ellie packed a bag for herself and one for Tom. Harry had insisted they were only small holdalls or backpacks, so as not to attract any attention.
The whole process was gut-wrenching. What to take and what to leave. She wasn’t overly attached to possessions, but she had a few sentimental mementoes of her early years with her parents, Tom’s first pair of shoes, his tiny Babygro, photographs. She was being torn in two at the choices. The selection had to be made quickly. It made the decisions seem more acute, but didn’t allow her time to procrastinate. Two sets of clothes apart from what you stand in, Harry had said, with a few extra items of underwear.
‘Do we really have to leave this quickly?’
‘It depends how everything goes this morning, but I’d suggest the sooner you leave the better. You have to be ready in any case.’
Harry helped her to write a note to Mandy, leaving her friend the keys to the gallery and house, and giving her permission to dispose of the rest of Ellie’s art and possessions as she saw fit. She asked Mandy to explain to Louise that Tom had no choice but to go away.
She could foresee that keeping Tom from contacting Louise would be one of the biggest challenges facing her.
Harry kept having to repeat things twice, as Ellie veered from one wave of panic or worry to another. He told her to leave her car keys with Mandy’s note.
‘When you make the phone call to my contact, he’ll help you with travel documents. He’ll know what to do when you ring and explain the situation. They owe me. When you leave the country, you need to leave from an airport as far away from here as possible and try to change your appearance, even if only with a scarf; your hair is very distinctive.’
Ellie ran to find a scarf.
It felt like a scenario from a novel or a film. How could this be happening to her? Was she dreaming? Harry was trying to give her advice and she was trying desperately to remember what he was saying, despite the emotional turmoil.
‘I can’t believe they want you after all of these years.’
‘Ellie, in my short time as an undercover policeman, I helped put away enough drug dealers to be hot property even now. Rushton has probably already started negotiations to sell me on to another party. The potential threat to my safety increases as the years go by and yet another batch of criminals is released after serving their sentences. There is plenty of time in prison to plot revenge. I made the wrong career choices early in my life. At least the chance to start again with yet another new identity enabled me to lead a sort of normal life. It meant I could teach. It’s what I should have done in the first place. Only perhaps I did it too well, or got overly ambitious for someone in my situation and ended up with promotions. I’m a good headmaster, dammit.’
Ellie didn’t quite know what to say to him.
They left the bags at the gallery. Ellie took a wistful look around. She had a feeling that she would never see the pots she had firing in the kiln as finished products on the gallery shelves. Having said that, she hadn’t felt the same about the gallery since the window had been smashed. Rushton had invaded her world and spread his own particular brand of poison even here.
Harry picked up on her thoughts.
‘Your business and your way of life can be recreated elsewhere. As soon as we’ve got Tom away from Rushton, don’t look at me, don’t look back, go, make your escape.’
‘But will you be okay? I can’t stand this. What is your real name anyway?’
‘I haven’t really got one any more. Right now, I’m just Harry.’ He pulled a funny face and looked so endearing her heart felt like breaking. It was so unfair that they’d made peace with each other and obviously felt a connection and not just through Tom, but there was to be no happy ending, no falling into each other’s arms, no passionate embrace.
‘What did it say on your original birth certificate?’
‘You won’t laugh?’
‘Why would I?’
‘Percy Pretty.’
Ellie found it hard to suppress a smirk. ‘No wonder you wanted a different name.’
‘I know. My mother named me after my grandfather, but you can imagine how I was teased at school with that first name. Pretty isn’t an easy surname for a bloke either.’
They both laughed and although Ellie was taking part in the amusement and the joke, it seemed strange to find something funny given the circumstances. Dread was creeping up her body.
‘Right, come on. It’s time. Lamb to the slaughter and all that.’
‘Don’t say that! Harry, I don’t think I can do this. It’s unfair to swap you for Tom. Maybe we’d better ring the police again after all.’ Ellie’s eyes brimmed with tears, just as her mobile phone rang.
‘Change of plan.’ Rushton’s voice announced.
‘What?’
‘You’ve had time to plot, so I’m swapping the venue. Be at the school cricket pavilion in five minutes.’
The line went dead. Ellie repeated what Rushton had said.
‘Flow with it. This is normal behaviour in this sort of situation. And as for swapping me for Tom, he’s my son too.’
She pulled Harry against her, a fold of his shirt bunched in her fist. She kissed him, fiercely.
Then, as if the kiss hadn’t happened, they broke away from each other and walked out of the door.
It wasn’t far from the gallery to the school. Ellie marched up the hill again next to Harry. Like in a dream, or a nightmare, she felt strangely detached. She clutched the smaller envelope of cash Harry had prepared.
They reached almost the exact spot where she’d been told Tom was missing at the bonfire party the night before. Things appeared to have gone full circle.
The weather was fine, crisp and dry, but the rain over the last few weeks had left the school field squelchy underfoot. As they approached the pavilion, Ellie was relieved to see Tom standing next to Rushton. Tom, the most precious thing in her universe.
There were two other men lurking behind them. Nameless thugs. Ellie couldn’t begin to catalogue where Rushton stood in her world – deceiver, tormentor, bully, aggressor. How had he appeared to be a lifeline when she was eighteen and newly pregnant? She must have been mad. She’d discovered his volatile moods and very bad temper too late to escape; they were already married and she was caught in his web of deceit and fear.
A lot of his behaviour was no doubt due to the cocktail of drugs and alcohol he’d been taking. She’d lost count of the times she’d had to clear up broken glass and pottery, because he’d thrown things in temper, sometimes at the wall and sometimes at her. Seeing him now bought back all of those memories, made it difficult not to slip into a defensive, submissive role.
The tension escalated inside her as she fought her thoughts.
‘Remember what to do,’ Harry whispered, dragging her mind back to the present. ‘Take care of yourself and my son.’ He accentuated the word “my”.
He gripped her arm for a second, leaving behind a ghost of a touch, and then he walked forward. She stuffed her hand against her mouth to stop from crying out.
No one said a word. He stopped with three metres to go and Rushton nodded his head. He gave Tom a shove and her son began to walk towards her. Harry continued towards Rushton, and Ellie wanted to run and pull him back. She hadn’t said good luck or anything. All of the tension had meant that she hadn’t thought of it. The omission left a hollow space within her.
Rushton spoke. ‘Well, well, well, Harry Dixon I understand? Where’s my money?’
‘No money. Just me.’
Rushton moved so fast that Ellie didn’t realise what was happening for a moment. He shoved Harry behind him to be caught by his two associates, then he sprinted and yanked Tom back.
Ellie screamed. Tom looked so shocked.
‘Money first.’
She started to walk towards the group on automatic pilot, holding out the envelope, but Harry yelled.
‘No, Ellie. Get away now.’ He doubled over as one of the thugs punched him in the stomach.
Ellie continued to hold out the packet.
‘I can tell by the size of the envelope it’s not enough. You can get me more. You will get me more.’
Rushton started to move towards the silver van parked at the side of the pavilion. Her mind registered that they had changed their vehicle. The police were looking for a blue van. Tom looked back at his mother, his expression grim, his eyes heart-wrenchingly desperate.
‘Bye, Ellie. Get my money. I’ll be in touch. No police or else. See you soon.’ The threat in Rushton’s words was obvious.
She watched numbly, as the van drove off, then cursed herself for not memorising the number plate. She reasoned that kn
owing Rushton he would probably have several plates for the same vehicle to avoid detection in any case.
Shock kicked in and she fell to her knees. Racking sobs shook her body as she ranted at the injustice of Rushton getting the upper hand yet again.
What now? She felt very alone and unsure.
Walking in circles on the field, she tried to think. She had absolutely no idea where they would take Tom and Harry.
No idea what to do.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Her heart was beating so fast, she thought that she might pass out. Tears threatened her eyes again, but she needed to stay focused, in control and decisive. She had to talk this through with someone.
She dialled Mandy’s number.
‘Mand, can you meet me at the gallery as soon as you can? It’s Tom. It’s urgent. I need your help.’
Mandy didn’t argue or ask questions, but Ellie could hear the worry and uncertainty in her voice as they made their arrangements to meet.
Ellie walked fast back down the hill towards the seafront and the gallery. For once, she didn’t even notice the clouds, the colours or the quality of the light over the ocean.
When she rounded the corner of the alley, she was dismayed to find Nick Crossten leaning against the gallery window. He had his cap on backwards and resembled one of his own paintings come to life.
‘Miss Golden. I’ve been waiting for you.’ He straightened up and put his cap on the normal way round.
‘Hi, Nick. Is everything all right?’ Ellie put her key in the lock. Her hands were trembling so much it took her several attempts. She hoped that Nick didn’t notice.
‘Yes, I wanted to tell you I’d spotted that man again. The one who was hanging around outside school and your gallery before. The one who was watching you. And being as your Tom went missing last night, I thought it might be linked.’
‘Where did you see him, Nick?’ She turned to face him.
‘He was going into one of the holiday cottages on The Point.’
Ellie felt a strange sensation beginning to build inside of her. The Point was an area at the far end of the beach with sheer cliffs.
The Girl on the Beach Page 18