She pulled. “Let go of me!”
His tone turned sinister. “Perhaps another visit to the Venus Machine will remind my green goddess of how pleasurable you find the admiration of the masses.” His grip tightened.
With a squeak of irritation, she brought her heel down on his instep. He yelped and let go of her, and she fled.
At that moment someone turned out the lights in the garden. She couldn’t see a thing. She ran straight into a tall person wearing a feathered mask. “Ouch!”
“Oof! Griffy?” Julia said. “Is that you?”
“Julia! I came to warn you. That horrible Dr. Kauz did put some kind of addictive drug in that cup he gave you!”
“Yeah, hey, no big, I didn’t drink any, remember?”
“Well, he thinks you’re addicted to it now. He wants to take over the city and make you his fire queen sex magic power goddess. He was totally icky.” Griffy shuddered.
“He told you all this?”
“He thought I was you.”
Julia said, “Duh, you’re wearing my mask. See the stripes?”
Griffy looked down. “Of course! It’s so dark outside that cloakroom.” They swapped masks. “They must have got mixed up.”
“Look,” Julia said, holding her mask in her hand, sounding embarrassed. “I’m sorry Virgil was so mean about the locks. What I wanted to remind you was, if he doesn’t want you sleeping on that bed, it’s because he’s jealous of Randy. So you have a chance. I advised you wrong about how to use it— “
“No, you’ve been great. If something awful has happened to Sovay, like if that Venus Machine is making her say stupid things and throw up snakes, maybe do I have a chance.”
“I totally think you have a chance. I wish I knew how to make it work. I feel like I’d better not give you any more advice.”
Griffy felt strong again. “Never mind. He’s with Sovay now. Here’s my key to the bedroom. You can go upstairs and save your friend.” She smiled tremulously. “It would never do to leave him in that bed if — in case I get lucky.”
“Is that what you want me to do?” Julia said.
“Yes. It is.”
Julia kissed her cheek. “I should have known. You’re always straight, Griffy. I think that’s why Clay loves you.” Griffy sniffled, and Julia gave her a hug around the shoulders. “If you see Virgil aiming for the house, try and head him off.”
“I’ll try.”
Griffy watched Julia march to the back door, ignoring the orgy going on around her. She pulled her mask on with determination like Julia’s.
Somewhere at this party, there was a mean old buzzard who needed her.
o0o
Under cover of darkness, Jewel sneaked into the house and upstairs to Virgil’s bedroom. Peering over her shoulder, she took her penknife out of her pocket and eased the penny out of the crack in the door.
It looked a little creased. Huh. Virgil must have tested Griffy’s claim to have changed the locks.
She whisked into the bedroom and locked the door. For good measure, she stuck the penny back in the door crack, hoping it would work from the inside.
She left the room lights out. Faint streetlight from Marine Drive and Lake Shore Drive came through the windows over the top of the curtains. She took off her mask, her dress, her shoes, her underwear and bra, and laid them all on a chair. Trying not to squick at the thought that Virgil and Griffy had had sex here, she slid onto the quilt. Somewhere in the bowels of the house, a tinny alarm trilled.
She said aloud, “Randy?” She got a tingle. “Oh, thank God.” They didn’t have a minute to lose. Virgil could decide to skunk the party at any moment.
Shutting her eyes, she tried to relax, joint by joint, toes, ankles, knees, hips, shoulders, elbows, fingers. She tensed her neck and released it. I am so not sleepy. But as she thought this she felt her edges fuzzing out, felt the slide of arms around her bare waist. There you are, buddy.
He grabbed her, turning her to face him. He looked anxious and angry. I feared that Sovay had poisoned you.
What? What happened to ‘Let’s fuck and get out of here’? She already felt her kookamunga swelling up and getting slippery.
She marries men and then kills them for their money. She hates you. I discovered this as I seduced her. He scowled, his face scary in demonspace. You should have come for me sooner.
Jewel pulled out of his arms. We have ten minutes before Virgil walks in here. Do you want to spend them pissing me off?
He assumed what she thought of as his diplomacy face — stiff, bland, and guarded. An excellent point.
Doesn’t he believe I’ll always come back? she thought, and, when the words came out aloud in demonspace, his face relaxed.
She reached for him, and her hand went all the way into his chest, where she felt a hot coal. Heat ran up her arm into her own chest. She smiled.
Fuck now, argue later. C’mon, I have something to show you. The bed fell away beneath them.
They were falling endlessly through a brilliant blue sky.
Are you afraid because you’re aroused, or aroused because you’re afraid? he murmured in her ear. This time Jewel laughed.
Slipping out of his arms, she fell a hundred feet, then opened her arms like a high-diver, turning over and over, exulting. She swooped around him, wingless, fearless. Look at me! I’m not scared to fly anymore!
When did that happen?
She laughed gaily. I flew on a parasail yesterday. It was fabulous and scary and fun. She swooped back up to him, laughing, then circled him in a spiral.
Parasail? Show me.
She created a parasail out of thin air and let wind fill the sail. Plus there was water. She gestured. Lake Michigan or something like it appeared below them, impossibly blue, cold, bright, powerful. She swooped closer to him, looped her arm through his, and carried him out over the lake, towed behind nothing, swinging wildly, dipping, whirling, swaying left and right under the parasail as the cold lake spray speckled the soles of her feet and made her shriek.
At some point he disappeared. She looked down. He was on the sand below, smiling up at her, watching.
She descended until she could drop on all fours beside him. With a wave of her hand she banished the parasail. Thanks to you, she said, standing. She put both hands on his bare chest. I wouldn’t have dared try it, I mean the real thing, if we hadn’t been flying every night.
They lay on the sand, which, being demonspace sand, did not get into her butt crack or carry fleas, and he rolled with her until they lay half-in, half-out of the surf. She burned all over with hunger, hunger for his hard, heavy body, hunger for a quick explosion, and she felt so hot that every wave hissed and sizzled over her skin. He kept them rolling on the fringe of the waves so that the sand and sky and water revolved along with a kaleidoscope of sensation.
Hurry up! We have to get out of here!
You wouldn’t hurry with me, would you? he said, and she jerked her head back at the sound of his voice, the wrong voice.
He was Clay. Clay down to the shaggy blond bangs and crinkly blue eyes, his long body slimmer and lighter, Clay’s voice, Clay’s — Randy! You don’t have to do this.
The smile was Clay’s pouty-lipped smile, but the anxious look came from somewhere else. I thought you might like it.
She pulled a hand free and wiped wet hair out of his eyes. Randy, you are you, and you are good enough. Be yourself.
He smiled an un-Clay-like smile and passed his hand over her eyes. No woman has ever said that to me.
When she opened her eyes, he was Randy again, Randy with the big, hard body, black-eyed Randy lifting her hips with one hot hand, sliding inside her with that amazing instrument. She squeezed tight around it. A cry broke from his lips.
He rolled her under him one more time.
Quick, now! Make it fast — she began. But he was already driving into her with a thump and a grind that made her judder. Thump, the world heated until she thought she would go up in flames, grind,
and she cried out, and then a wave washed over her, sizzling, turning to steam when it hit her skin. Just do me, just do me, she thought, feeling sizzling heat and the splash of cold water and his cock like a freight train running through her body, just do it just do it just do it just do it and then the whistle blew in her ear and she came apart with a boom.
Twenty seconds later they were spooned together, her belly to his back, sweating on the coverlet.
Jewel listened to her heartbeat slow. “Why’d you take that bitch to bed?” It might ruin the mood, but she had to know.
He sat up, rubbing his face and scalp with his hands as if he was thrilled to have his body back. “Because you annoyed me.”
“Hey, I’m sorry about the tracer anklet. Buzz made me understand how humiliating it is. It doesn’t work well in a building anyway.”
“No,” Randy said. “No. I’ve realized how easily I might be separated from you. It was a good idea.” He flashed her a big-black-cow-eyed look. “Also, I thought to search her mind. And I learned that—”
“She’s a black widow. That’s what we call it. I know. Clay showed me his files. He searched her room, too, but either he found nothing we can use, or he snitched her jewelry.”
“The poison is not in her room,” Randy said. “She’s too wily for that. I read her mind. She searched our room. She found your badge. She knows who you are. She was going to try to force you to leave the house. I thought if I seduced her and took away proof, I could threaten to show it to Mr. Thompson.” His tone got an edge. “Had you rescued me sooner, I could have warned you.”
It was a hairbrained idea, but his heart was in the right place. She put her hand over his.
“I tried to find you. I did. Clay got me into her room, but we didn’t even realize Virgil stole the bed and put it up here already.” She swallowed. “Stupidhead Clay told him about your curse. I was so afraid Virgil would want to use the bed the way Clay did, to make money,” she confessed. “I was scared shitless for you.”
Randy started to smile. “I believed you might be glad of an opportunity to be rid of me.”
“I kind of was,” she admitted. “But I, uh, I kind of missed you.”
The smile got bigger. “I shall remind you that you said so.” He slid off the bed. “Did you bring me any clothes?”
She hadn’t. “I was in a huge hurry to get in here and get out. Which reminds me, we need to get moving! That press conference will start the second the media arrive.”
“Fortunately Virgil was once taller than he is now,” Randy said from the walk-in closet.
To Jewel’s horror, someone opened the door, letting a sliver of bright light into the room. She froze, naked on top of the coverlet. So much for her penny.
“Fuck!” she breathed, and shut her eyes.
Don’t panic, Randy. Don’t panic don’t panic don’t panic—
She heard a chunky, thunking noise and a heavy body hit the floor. “Randy?”
Chapter Thirty-One
The light flashed on. Randy stood by the door, rubbing his fist. On the floor lay Mellish, the intrusive.
“Jeez, what did you hit him with?”
Randy showed her his fist.
“Wow.” He was still naked. “Get dressed, okay? Let’s boogie before he wakes up.”
While Randy dressed himself out of Virgil’s closet, Jewel went to the in-wall entertainment center and started pressing buttons. Something clacked and squeaked. A black videotape cassette popped out of a slot.
Was it the right one? She bit her lip.
“Go out in the hall and keep watch, will you? I have to get dressed, and this is not a good moment for Virgil to find us.”
For a miracle Randy did as she asked. While she was dressing, she stuck the tape back into its slot and fumbled with the controls. A smeary, grainy picture appeared, and then Clay said, Why yes, I’m having a ball. I haven’t had so much fun since we hid under a thirteen thousand dollar sofa at Field’s and then burgled the joint. She pounded on the eject button as Randy stuck his head in the door.
“Someone is coming.”
“I’m ready,” she said, shoving her feet into her shoes and grabbing up her big feathered mask. “For the love of Mike,” she said, goggling at his outfit. “That was in Virgil’s closet?”
Randy had chosen a slick, shiny, purple paisley, polyester shirt with a chest ruffle and frilly cuffs, and a pair of powder-blue stretch pants to go with. The stretch pants left nothing to the imagination. He had added a pair of white vinyl boots, and was struggling to cram his shoulders into a burnt orange crushed-velvet frock coat.
“Hey, Willy Wonka. Ix-nay on the oat-cay. It’s summer,” she said. “Hotter than Dutch love.”
He smoothed a hand over the sleeve. “My father would have worn this coat.”
Her eyebrows climbed into her hairline.
The maid came up the stairs. “Oh!” She fell back against the bannister, clutching her heart, or body parts near it, with both hands. “Oh, it’s you, Lord Darner!” Her eyes bugged out at those stretch pants.
Randy preened.
Jewel poked him in the ribs. “Peacock.”
When they got to the kitchen door, she could see over the garden wall into the alley. A cameraman, accompanied by someone holding a bright portable floodlight, was coming through the alley. A sleek-looking blonde woman walked backward facing the camera, talking into a microphone.
Jewel held her breath. If they came into the garden first, they would be distracted by the orgy. If they stopped at the garage first, she’d be screwed.
The cameraman turned in through the garden gate.
She let out air. “Randy, would you mind going outside and talking to that woman with the cameraman? Keep her in the garden until I signal to you from the garden gate. Then bring her out into the alley.”
“Talk? What about?”
She frowned. “I don’t know, think of something, Put the moves on her. Give her a guided tour of the Kama Sutra as recreated in a back yard off Marine Drive. Dear God, these people have no shame.” She looked in disbelief through the back door at the couples squirming all over the garden.
Randy studied her. “What?”
“Don’t tell anybody who you are.” When he scowled she thought, Hell, I’m doing to him what Virgil did to Griffy. Taking away his name. Making him a nonperson. “I mean, you can call yourself Lord Darner. You’re still undercover.”
“This I can perform.” He lifted his chin, tugged the lapels of the orange velvet coat, and swaggered out the kitchen door.
I’m getting better at managing him. “Now where the heck is Clay?”
“Right behind you,” Clay’s voice said faintly. She turned to find him transfixed, watching Randy. “Where in the world did he get those clothes?”
“Virgil’s closet.”
“I can’t decide if it’s Carnaby Street or Mardi Gras.”
“Pay attention,” Jewel said. She handed Clay the videotape. “Burn this.”
Clay stared. “I’ve been searching the whole house for that. Did Virgil let you into his room after all? Because that door was so locked, even I couldn’t pick it.”
“I pennied it shut.”
“You what?”
Jewel squinted. “Holy magooley, is that Buzz over there?”
“Hey, was that the mask you were wearing before?”
“Yeah. Blue and white stripes,” she said, staring. Leaning his partner against the brick garden wall, a naked Buzz humped as if his life depended on it. Jewel made a euw face. “Will you look at the tattoos on her.”
The tattooed woman seemed enthused. She and Buzz were having a good time. Jewel shook her head, then shook it harder. Some pictures weren’t meant to be given headroom.
“Listen, Clay, we need to orchestrate this press conference. Beulah and the Self Love ladies are out there somewhere. Randy’s got the camera crew nailed down, I hope—” A glance in Randy’s direction showed her that his lordly charm was doing its usual good
work on the society reporter. “Great. Your job is to get Buzz decent and out in the alley by the time the reporter goes out there to interview Kauz.”
Clay scowled. “And how do I do that? Tap him on the shoulder and say ‘May I cut in?’”
“Remind him that I promised to take off that tracer anklet if he shows up at the press conference and does his bit.”
“That ought to work,” Clay said. “Anything else?”
She stood there, blinking. Clay seemed calm. He’s working with me. Like he’s my partner. She smiled. “That’s all I can think of.”
He glanced at Randy and the reporter. “I’d guess we have about ten minutes.”
The cameraman was getting closeups on the orgy. Bare flesh flashed unattractively under the wobbly flood-light. But the reporter had her hand on Randy’s crushed-velvet orange sleeve.
Jewel gave Clay thumbs-up.
He pulled her close, kissing her in a clinch that made her head swim. “Little hint,” he said, as she punched his arm. “Con artists and undercover cops do not ‘thumbs-up’ each other in front of the marks.” He released her with a pat on the fanny.
Okay, his manner could use work. But, by golly, it was nice to have someone she could rely on.
She sent Randy another glance as she stepped over naked partiers and passed through the alley gate. Two someones.
For a miracle, Beulah had her group organized. They were at the garage door of the house across the alley, sucking down raw oysters and drinking beer. Jewel hissed, “Meet me in ten minutes right over there by Virgil’s garage.”
Beulah bobbed her turquoise feathered head.
“Say, I found out where Buzz has been getting that potion. It’s that guy over there, with the Venus Machine. Dr. Kauz. He wants to run for mayor because he’s such a great magician.”
Beulah trilled, “Oh, is he the mysterious doctor? How marvelous to meet him at last!”
The Hinky Velvet Chair Page 22