by Ian Tremblay
"I'd like to introduce to you my girlfriend and the love of my life, Miss Linda Staunton and her charming friend, Peggy." All answered at once, some raising their glasses, "Hi, Linda, pleased to meet you. Hi, Peggy, cheers." Richard raised his arms to invoke silence again.
"Now these girls drove a few hours to come here to see us play and to surprise me, of course. I must say it is a wonderful surprise and that I am deeply touched. Let's give them a big cheer." His teammates answered his call with a healthy roar. He turned toward Linda and kissed her passionately; fueled by their passion, the shouts and cheers grew even louder.
In the pandemonium, no one seemed to notice that across the room was Diane Sorenson, leaning against a wall, her head turned toward the group and paying no attention to the guy who was trying to strike up a conversation with her. She had the team's jersey on, her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were on fire and glued to Richard and Linda's embrace. Had her eyes been laser beams, they would have burned holes right through both of them. In a sudden and violent gesture, she shoved her glass into the hands of the solo speaking hopeful, pushed him aside, and bolted through the crowd. From the corner of his eye, Richard saw her bolt. He had noticed that she was there and was relieved to see her leave. In those few seconds he noticed that on the back of the team sweater she was wearing was his name and number.
They all had a great time, and Peggy hooked up with one of Richard's teammates, Brad. He was a very shy country boy who had been raised on a farm and he was just what Peggy needed. "Some rural recreation," she had whispered into Linda's ear with a big smile on her face.
"Richard, let's go to your place now." Linda couldn't wait to be alone with him.
"Okay, baby, but what about your friend Peggy?"
Linda turned toward Peggy, who was listening intently to Brad's monosyllabic statements. Her eyes were buried deep into his, and they were holding hands.
"Don't worry about her. She'll be okay."
"Hey, Brad." Richard motioned to him. "We're out of here. You take care of Peggy, okay?"
"Yeah sure, Richard, no problem," he blushed and smiled.
Linda waved to Peggy and shouted, "We're leaving."
Peggy waved back. "Go on, get out of here. I'm fine." She pointed with her eyes toward Brad, and the girls exchanged an understanding smile.
It took forever to get out of the pub. Everyone wanted to touch Richard, shake his hand, or congratulate him. Finally they made it outside and headed toward his apartment.
"Alone at last, my love," Richard wrapped his arms around her, and they kissed passionately. They made love slowly, very slowly, and in perfect sync; they knew each other so well. Then they talked and laughed and made love again, and the magic was still there. Richard told her about school and about football, omitting, of course, to tell her about Diane. Every time the thought of her came into his head, he felt pain and panic, and he pushed the thought as far away from his mind as he could. He didn't want to think about her when he was with Linda, and he wished he could just forget the whole thing and that it had never happened. He knew, however, that he would have to do something fast. The situation was explosive and he would have to put an end to it, hopefully without Linda finding out.
Linda told him about her courses and about Peggy and how they had become really good friends. She told him how thrilled she was about her school and how happy she was with her choice of career. She did not mention her apprehensions of late, of his calling at odd hours or the fact that he never seemed to get her messages. It would have spoiled the moment, and so she decided to save that for the next morning.
Linda woke up before Richard as day was breaking; she went to the bathroom and put on his bathrobe. She walked to the large bay window, and for a few moments she watched the spectacle of a new day beginning. She turned toward the bed. Richard was still fast asleep, and the sunlight was pouring into the room, illuminating everything. That's when she saw it, under the bed; it caught her eye because it was such a bright pink. She walked over and knelt under the bed and retrieved a sheer pink G-string. She held it in her hands and looked at it in disbelief. Her heart sank; she crumpled it in her hand and went to sit in the living room. "Maybe these were here from before," she pondered hopefully, trying to find an explanation for her find. That's when she saw them on the coffee table, two small diamond solitaires twinkling in the sunlight; beside the earrings was a small handwritten note. She picked up the note and her hand trembled as she read it.
Richard, darling, thank you for last night, you are the best lover I have ever had. Our secret is safe, do not worry. See you in class.
Diane
xxx
A kiss had been planted on the note in lipstick. Linda began to cry, softly at first then uncontrollably, her shoulders shaking, and soon her whole body was convulsing. Richard woke up and looked in her direction. He got out of bed and went over to where she was sitting.
"Hey, baby, you're up bright and early. What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Linda did not answer. She just kept crying, and he sat down beside her. That's when he saw the G-string, the earrings, and the note, and his heart sank. Linda turned toward him; her eyes were red, and she was obviously very distraught.
"Why, Richard, why have you done this?" Richard was speechless. He picked up the note, read it, and let it drop to the floor. He looked toward Linda, his mouth agape. He was dumbfounded, but when finally he spoke, his voice was hoarse and unsteady. He confessed to everything, blaming the alcohol and his own stupidity. He cried and begged Linda for forgiveness. Linda broke down and wept uncontrollably; she was inconsolable, and each one of her heart-wrenching wails sent a shock wave through Richard's heart.
"Look, Linda, I'm so ashamed. I've been a complete idiot, and God I hate to hurt you like this, but please, Linda, please forgive me. I cannot live without you. I swear I'll die without you." Tears were pouring freely down his face too, and he was beyond himself with shame and grief.
"Jesus Christ, Richard, Diane Sorenson, of all people, that vicious, manipulative little slut," Linda's pain hissed from between her clenched teeth. She was torn between her rage and her profound sadness. Never had she felt so cheated or so betrayed in her life and by the man she loved more than anyone in the world-her Richard, her prince, the man of her dreams, the one who was encrusted in her very being and by whom and with whom she would have constructed everything. The tears kept coming in waves. The more he spoke, the less she understood and the more her heart was broken and shattered and empty.
"It was just a thing, Linda, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, it just happened. I can't explain why. I can't justify it. All I know is that I'm so bloody sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. It breaks my heart to see you like this. I don't ..." He fell silent. His words were doing nothing, and anyway, how could one explain the unexplainable?
He was trapped, there was no way out, even his confession had sounded a bit off. He put his head in his hands and ran his fingers through his hair in a gesture of desperation.
"Shit, I wish all this would go away and that it had never happened. It's a bloody nightmare." Linda turned toward him.
"It won't go away, Richard. It's real, and it happened, and it hurts like hell, let me tell you." She got up and began to get dressed and gather her things.
"Oh come on, Linda, let's talk this over. I mean, give me a break here. You can't just walk out like this." He was standing behind her naked, his voice filled with panic. The thought of losing Linda scared him out of his mind. Linda remained unmoved and determined.
"I'm leaving, Richard, so get dressed and let's go find Peggy, now." The look in her eyes left no room for discussion, Richard knew that look. They did not speak in the car on the way to find Brad and Peggy, and the silence weighed heavy on both of their hearts.
When they arrived at Brad's residence, Richard got out of the car to fetch Peggy. She came out and walked toward Linda, who was still sitting in Richard's car. She was disheveled and had obviously just gotten up. She looked a
t Linda perplexed. They were only supposed to leave after supper that evening, and she didn't understand what Linda was doing there so early.
"What's up, Linda? Richard looks like someone died or something." Linda got out of the car.
"We have to leave right away, Peggy, please," she said in a broken voice, making an effort not to break out into tears. Her face was twisted in pain, and her eyes were swollen and red. Peggy understood that something was terribly wrong.
"Okay, Linda, if that's what you want, but I left my car in the pub parking lot last night, and so we'll have to go and pick it up." She paused, but Linda did not respond. "Okay then, let me just go in a minute to say a word to Brad and I'll be right back." She pointed in the direction of the building. Linda began to cry, and Peggy went over to where she was standing. She put her arms on Linda's shoulders, and Linda wrapped her arms around her and buried her head in her shoulder, Peggy held unto her tightly.
"Hey, whatever it is that's going on, it can't be that bad, now, can it?"
"Oh yes it is, Peggy, it's terrible. Please hurry." Tears were pouring down her face. "I really need to get out of here, Peggy. I need to get out of here now." Peggy pulled away from her, holding her by the shoulders,
"Okay, just don't move and I'll be right back, okay?" Linda wiped her tears with her forearms and nodded that she understood.
Not a word was spoken as Richard drove them to recover Peggy's car, and when they arrived in the parking lot, Peggy got out and Richard put his hand on Linda's arm just as she was opening the car door,
"Please, Linda, please, let's talk." Linda pulled her arm away,
"There's nothing to say, Richard. You've broken my heart, and right now I hate your guts, so why don't you call Diane? Maybe she'll want to talk," she shouted as she got out of the car, slamming the door shut. Quickly, she got into Peggy's car.
"Let's go, Peggy, now please." Linda's voice was laden with pain and rage, and she was on the verge of hysteria. Peggy floored the car, and they roared past Richard, who was standing beside his car with a tortured expression on his face. For the next fifteen minutes, Linda sobbed violently. She was inconsolable and miserable. Peggy drove in silence; she knew that this was not a time to talk or to ask questions.
After about an hour of driving, Linda had calmed down enough to tell Peggy what had happened.
"I'm so sorry, Linda, so very sorry." Peggy began to cry. She felt terrible for her friend whose heart had been broken by the man she loved and had trusted above all. "God, I'm sorry." She reached out and took Linda's hand. Linda squeezed her hand hard and said through her tears, "As soon as we get in we're going for a drink, Peggy. I need a drink. As a matter of fact, I need a few."
"Okay, Linda." Peggy sniffled and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Let's do that."
So the two of them hit the pub that night and got royally drunk, especially Linda. They laughed and they cried, and although Linda tried to bury her pain in the alcohol, her heart was heavy. After they stumbled back to the dorm late that night, she cried herself to sleep, drenching her pillow with tears of desolation and her profound distress.
Richard called countless times after that day, leaving long, apologetic messages and he would text or email begging for her forgiveness, but Linda never responded. She came close to calling him a few times, dialing his number but then cutting the call off before it went through and then she would pace about her room for hours in frustration and anger, her mind in complete turmoil. Any time she thought of Diane in Richard's arms, all the hatred and rage that she had felt came up to the surface. She had been humiliated and deceived beyond redemption. The whole episode had devastated her, and now she was marked for life. She remained strong, however, and brave in spite of the bitter pain that ate at her continuously. To forgive Richard would have required more strength and courage than she possessed. After three months, he stopped calling. Somewhere deep inside her heart, she had wanted him to continue pursuing her, but at the same time, she wanted him to suffer, as much as or more than she had, and maybe one day, she told herself, she would have found it within her heart to forgive him. That, however, would have required more time and patience than the hurried imperatives and the blind certainties of youth allowed. In short, and sadly so, they were over.
Thank God for Peggy, who was a fantastic support. She was always there and was the true friend Linda desperately needed in her time of pain and sorrow. Linda cried herself to sleep most nights, and her life was a social disaster. She poured all the energy of her waking hours into her studies and her friendship with Peggy. The latter was the balm that slowly and patiently was helping to mend her shattered heart and soul.
Diane, on the other hand, was exhilarated. Unbeknownst to Richard, she had stormed out of the pub the afternoon of the game and gone to his apartment. She had a key of the door made from a double she had taken from his apartment two days before. They had been lying on the kitchen counter with a little tag that said, "Spare set of keys," and Diane had been unable to resist. With the double she had let herself into his apartment and had planted the G-string, earrings and note, not forgetting to put the spare set of keys back on the kitchen counter. The result of her work was beyond her wildest dreams.
"Oh, Richard, I'm so sorry. I mean, this wasn't supposed to happen, and it's my entire fault. I forget things all over the place, and God, the note; I left it there for you. I would never have imagined that she would see it before you. I'm so sorry. I hate myself for screwing up your life like this." She bowed her head and wiped her eyes as if she were crying. Richard took one of her hands.
"No, Diane. This is not your fault. Please don't beat yourself up about this. Things are bad enough as they are. You have been a real friend, and this is my entire fault. I mean, I should have cleaned up the apartment, you know, after the other night; but I didn't, and on the other hand, I didn't know she was coming. So, this is just not your fault, Diane, and I won't let you be so hard on yourself over this. It's just not right." Richard squeezed her hand, and she raised her head and looked at him, her eyes filled with feigned sadness and pain.
"Thank you, Richard, it means a lot to me what you just said, but I still feel bad about this. I mean, like, really bad."
"I know, Diane, but please don't, okay? It would make me feel better if I knew you weren't torturing yourself over this. It's bad enough that I am, so please not you too." Diane put her other hand on his and she leaned into his shoulder. He put an arm around her and held her tight.
"Okay, Richard, I'll try, I just want you to be happy, that's all." Diane was content; her plan had worked to perfection. Linda Staunton had given up without a fight. She closed her eyes and cuddled up against Richard's shoulder. She was beyond happy. The outcome, predictable from the get go as far as she was concerned, could not have been different. Richard Benson was hers at last, and he would be hers until she decided differently. Diane looked up to the dazed and confused Richard, who was staring blankly into space, lost in his thoughts.
"Richard, just remember that I'm here for you, whatever happens. I'm here, and I will always be here, okay?" Their eyes met.
"Thanks, Diane, that's very sweet of you." He looked away from her, his heart laden with sadness and incomprehension, completely unaware that he had been played perfectly and without an iota of a clue about how much, or how expertly.
So, life continued for Linda, as life always will, and even though she was still reeling from the end of her relationship with Richard, she kept a brave exterior. Most of all, she hated herself for having been so blind. "How could I not have seen that he was like that?" she kept asking herself. "All the time I spent with him and I saw nothing. I guess I'm just not good at figuring people out. Well, anyway, that's it for me. I've had it. No more guys till I finish school, to hell with them." Linda kept that promise to herself, and she did not get seriously involved with another guy while she was in school. She went out on a lot of double dates with Peggy and only after Peggy had really insisted, but she always remai
ned distant with whoever was accompanying her. At the end of the evening, she would say good night and go back to her room alone. Many of those nights she would lay in bed awake for hours debating about how she had lost Richard, and she always came to the same conclusion. "He was a great guy, the best, but he was a cheater, and he broke my heart. I will never let that happen to me again." Her resolve not to get involved with anybody and not to get hurt again was absolute.
The only thing that warmed Linda's heart during those difficult years of doubt and loneliness were the cards she received from Richard on her birthday or on St. Valentine's Day. He always sent her a card on those occasions, and he had done so ever since their breakup. He kept repeating that he was sorry and that he loved her and that he always would; his words seemed genuine and sincere to Linda, but still she never answered him, although it pleased her that he still thought about her. Whenever she received one of his cards, she would spend hours staring out the residency window thinking about him. "Oh Richard, my sweet Richard, God I miss you."
Life continued for Richard too. He rode the wave of the college football star, the college's resident hero. It was a whirlwind of games and parties. Everybody wanted to know him or be his friend, and he was by far the most popular guy on campus. The team was winning because of him, and no one seemed to care that his grades were teetering on the brink of an abyss. If Diane had not helped him with his schoolwork, it would have been a disaster. She was his official girlfriend now. She walked proudly about campus with him or stood by him after games, hanging onto his arm, beaming, protecting her prize. God help any girl who came on to Richard, and the few who dared were cut down quickly and viciously by her. Richard was clearly her man now, and she would let no female come within twenty feet of him. She reigned over her territory like a tigress. Word got around that Richard was hers and hers alone.
Although Richard appeared happy on the surface, he was sad. He missed Linda terribly. Some nights when he wasn't with Diane, he drank alone in his apartment and cried. He hated himself for what had happened, and he stared for hours at the picture he had kept of Linda. It was the only one Diane had not destroyed, and he kept it well hidden from her. "Linda, my sweet, wonderful Linda, God I miss you, sweetheart." Tears rolled down his cheeks. "God I miss you."