by Ian Tremblay
"I think that's a great offer, Linda. I mean seeing you don't want to go through with the whole court thing, and like you say, it's enough money. You could travel or do just about anything you want to." Peggy tried to sound optimistic, knowing that Linda's options were limited.
"Yeah, I think so too. The papers will be ready next week; I'll have to go down there, you know, to his office. Would you mind coming with me, Peggy? I'd hate to go there alone; I mean, I haven't been out in broad daylight among people in over two years except to go to the hospital in a cab, but that's different."
"Of course I'll go, Linda. I will be your witness sort of, but tell me, what about those papers? Shouldn't you have a lawyer look at them? I mean, you can't really trust a man like Mortimer Roaden?"
"I've done all that already, Peggy; I've had the documents reviewed by an attorney I found on the web. He's an independent expert in the field, and he has certified to me that all the documents are in order and ready to be signed by me. To be honest with you, Peggy, I'm anxious to get all this behind me."
"Yeah, I understand. Hey, Linda, you'll be rich," Peggy lifted her coffee cup,
"Here's to being rich." Linda raised her cup too. They touched cups and both said it at the same time, "To being rich!" Linda smiled. She was happy that the news of her forthcoming riches made Peggy happy, but she felt no joy at all. She would have gladly traded in all that money just to be her old self again.
The following week the girls got into a cab and headed to the offices of Mortimer Roaden. It was a harrowing experience for Linda, and she was very nervous about going to an office building filled with people. She had been nowhere in the past two years except to hospitals or medical appointments of one kind or another. But this was different, and she had butterflies in her stomach. Peggy had bought her a nice black felt hat with a veil that fell all around it. It hid her face well, and also she wore gloves and a scarf wrapped around her neck. Peggy had also shopped for her an elegant black two-piece suit and a nice pair of shoes. Her deformities were undetectable except for the cane and her awkward gait. Even with all these precautions, Linda was nervous and fragile.
The elevator on the way up to Roaden's office was full of people. Linda felt very uncomfortable. Her hand was sweaty inside her glove, but much to her relief, nobody paid any attention to them. They all seemed completely preoccupied with their own thoughts and unaware of the people around them. Linda reflected on the times when, like these people, she had ridden on an elevator or a bus and was in a hurry to get to where she was going and had taken no notice of the other people around her and had been oblivious as to who they were and to where they were going. She wondered about these people now, only inches away, in this crowded elevator, people who were so busy with their lives that they forgot where they were and who was is in their immediate surroundings. Her condition now made her acutely aware of all this. She felt the elbow of the man standing beside her brush against her forearm, and the contact sent a shiver of discomfort down her spine.
Mortimer Roaden was waiting for them at the reception; he had not changed a bit since their first and only physical encounter over a year ago. The suit was different, though, a bit crispier and probably new, and he was even more stooped forward than before. He greeted them with his rabbit teeth forward and his neck well extended.
"Miss Staunton, Miss Bale, how good to see you." He shook both their hands, Peggy's vigorously and Linda's a lot less. "Won't you come this way please?" He led them down the corridors and to the doors of a conference room. Linda was aware that people looked at them when they passed the reception area and as they walked down the corridors, but she did not feel bad about their looks. They just looked, that's all, no reaction. If they found this woman veiled, in black from head to foot and who walked with a cane odd, they did not let it show. It made Linda feel good and gave her a bit of much needed self-confidence. They entered the conference room; it was a very large room with a very long table that could probably sit twenty-five to thirty people. Two of the walls were completely covered in wall-to-ceiling windows. Two men were sitting at the far end of the table. They rose when Mortimer Roaden entered with them. One was tall and thin, and he wore a gray suit and had an innate coldness about him. The other was overweight, and his suit seemed to be choking him. His face was red, as if he had just exerted himself. Mortimer introduced them. They were also lawyers, and they represented the other two insurance companies that were involved in her claim. Everyone said hello and then sat down, except for Mortimer Roaden, who looked around nervously. This was his show, and he was tense and wound up like an old alarm clock.
"So, ladies and gentlemen, would anyone like anything?" He looked from side to side, "coffee, tea, water?" Linda answered for both her and Peggy from underneath her veil.
"No thank you. Please let's get on with this, Mr. Roaden." The other two lawyers signaled with their hands that they wanted nothing.
"Yes, of course, Miss Staunton, of course." He sat down between the two men, and Peggy and Linda were sitting to one side of them. Linda sank back in her chair hoping that the distance would make it harder for them to see her. The men did not look her way at all. They were not interested. After all, they had seen the photos from the hospital files, and they had read the reports. Everyone had documents in front of them that Mortimer Roaden had prepared for the meeting. Roaden cleared his throat.
"Very well, then, we all know why we are here, so I will read these documents out loud now." He looked toward the girls. "If you have any questions as I read, please feel free to interrupt me at anytime."
Peggy responded politely, "Thank you, Mr. Roaden."
For the next twenty minutes or so Mortimer Roaden read the settlement papers out loud. The only other noise besides his monotone voice was the shuffling of paper when everyone changed pages. When he was finished, he looked up.
"Now, Miss Staunton, I also have a signed affidavit from your lawyer, your expert, as you like to say. After all, you are, in a sense, your own lawyer." He smiled to Linda. "Anyway," he held up a document, "it is in the document booklet, last page and in this affidavit he confirms that these documents conform to all our agreements with you and that they are in good order and ready for you to sign them." Everyone shuffled the pages again, looking for the affidavit and reading it.
"Thank you, Mr. Roaden, I know. I spoke to him yesterday, and he explained it to me." Linda's voice was hoarse, and she wished she had asked for a glass of water.
"Now, does anyone have any questions?" He looked toward both the girls and then to the men on each side of him. They both signaled no.
"No, Mr. Roaden, I have no questions. All is as we agreed." Linda's voice was a little better and even emanated a certain amount of assurance even though for some reason an inner turmoil was agitating her and making her feel queasy and uncertain. It was not the settlement. She knew everything was good and the lawyer she had found on the Internet and who had acted as expert counsel for her had very carefully verified everything. It was something else-maybe it was the way the other two lawyers never looked her way and only looked toward Roaden or the documents, taking only fleeting glances in hers, or in Peggy's, direction. Maybe Roaden had told them about his experience with her and they were scared that she would repeat it. Whatever it was, she was anxious for everything to be over and to get out of there.
"Fine, Miss Staunton, then we can all start signing." He began signing the documents in front of him, and everyone did the same. When he was done, he passed his documents to the right and took the ones that the lawyer to the left of him had passed on to him. Soon all was done; Mortimer Roaden looked in Linda's direction and smiled.
"Oh, I almost forgot Miss Staunton, there is also this." He rose and pushed an envelope toward Linda. "A very nice check, I might add, Miss Staunton." He smiled his best rabbit teeth smile. Linda didn't answer, and she got up with the help of the table, picked up her cane, and put the envelope in her purse without verifying it. She stood there immobile, looki
ng at the three men for a second or two, as if daring them to say something. Mortimer Roaden was still standing, with a smile frozen on his face. Finally, Linda broke the silence, "Good day, Mr. Roaden, it's been a pleasure doing business with you." She ignored the other two and turned and began to walk toward the door.
"The pleasure has been mine, Miss Staunton," Roaden said, still standing. "May I show you to the elevator?"
"Don't bother, I know the way out," Linda said, still walking away with her back to all of them. "Come on, Peggy, we're done here." Peggy stood up and smiled to the three men; she picked up Linda's documents and quickly followed in her direction. Once the girls had left the room, the men shook each other's hands, obviously very happy. One of the men, the large and sweaty one, turned toward Mortimer Roaden and said, "Well done, Mortimer. You've done it, congratulations; this claim could have cost us three or four times that amount if it had gone to court. Good job."
"Yeah, good job, Mortimer," the tall, silent one acquiesced.
"Thank you, gentlemen," Mortimer Roaden was beaming, content with the outcome and basking in his professional success.
In the taxi on the way home, Linda sat silently staring out the window. It was good to be out again, even though she was terrified of being around people and of their reaction to her. She enjoyed seeing people scurrying about their business and to be so close to the sights and sounds of the city. It made her feel alive and breathed energy into her. She realized how much she had missed it all, the trepidation and excitement of life. Only one thing made the day a bit somber for her and that was the thought that Peggy would be leaving her soon. It haunted her, and the same question kept creeping into her mind, "What am I going to do now? What am I going to do now?"
Events went into fast-forward from that moment on. Peggy and Terrance had decided that they would get married that summer, and as a wedding present, Linda had offered them a new house. The lease to the girls' apartment would also end that summer, and Linda wasn't going to renew it. All the furniture would be donated to charities. Linda had decided that she needed a change of scenery, to be somewhere else and to breathe some new air. She concocted a plan to travel the country and organized everything with the help of her best friend, the Internet.
Her mother visited regularly, and every time she came, she tried to convince Linda to come back home, but Linda would have none of it.
"No Mama, I won't go back home and that's that. I wish you'd stop insisting. It's not my plan right now, okay?"
"But what is your plan, Linda? Peggy is getting married next month, and you're leaving your apartment. What are you going to do? Where are you going to go?"
"Mom, like I told you before, my intention is to travel, okay? I have it all organized, and I know what I'm doing. Look, Mom, I need to get out of here and out there, into the world, okay?" Linda pointed toward the window. "Do you understand what I'm saying, Mom? I've got to get out there and learn to live as I am, with other people. I'm a different person now, Mom, not inside, of course, but the outer me, the one that is visible to others. I've got to find that person and to be able to do that, I have to be out in the world. Do you understand that, Mom?"
"Yes, Linda, I understand, but I'm worried about you and scared too. I mean, you can't just go out there and pretend ..." she stopped in mid-sentence and looked up to Linda as if searching for words.
"What mom? What? Pretend that I'm not this deformed, crippled monster? Is that what you wanted to say?" Linda had raised her voice.
"No, of course not," her mother protested, but Linda was annoyed.
"Well, that's what I am, Mom, and I know it, believe me I do. I can see it and feel it every day, every night, every hour, and every bloody minute, okay?"
"Calm down, Linda, and please don't shout like that. I'm just worried about you, that's all." She began to cry softly.
"I'm not shouting, okay? I'm not shouting." Linda's voice was still slightly high pitched. She shuffled over to where her mother was sitting and put her arm around her and kissed her hair.
"I'm sorry, Mom, I'm sorry. I have no right to raise my voice like that, especially not to you, of all the people. Look, Mom, just trust me, okay? I'll be traveling in my own limo, and I'll stay in the best hotels. Everything will be fine. I'll call you regularly, you know I will, and if I need you, I won't be afraid to ask, I promise." Her mother nodded that she understood through her diminishing sobs. "I might stay a week here a month there, I don't know, but I'll be fine. Believe me, I'll be fine. I've got everything covered, Mom, even on the medical side of things. I’ll be in touch with my doctors regularly and it’ll be like I was still here. I'll be okay, Mom, just trust me, please?" Linda was whispering now and practically pleading. Her mother did not answer; she knew that this was a discussion that she could not win. Linda was a strong-headed person, and she would have things her way, no matter what.
So, Linda put her plan in motion. She had set her departure date for one week after Peggy's wedding. Since plane travel was unimaginable for her in her condition, she had decided she would buy a limo, but first she had to hire a limo driver, someone who would work full time for her and someone with credentials and class. After all, that person would be spending a lot of time with her up close and personal, and she knew that she had to choose right. She found one through the services of an exclusive placement agency that she had found on the Internet. He had an impeccable resume and was highly recommended. Linda did not meet him physically right away, but she interviewed him by phone and communicated with him by email. She had very carefully and very thoroughly explained to him what had happened to her and her physical appearance and condition. His name was Charles, and he was forty-seven years old. For the past fourteen years he had been the driver of a very wealthy southern woman who had passed away six months earlier. Charles was British and had been living and working in America for the past twenty-two years. Linda agreed to pay him a very generous salary and asked him to help her shop for a car that would be comfortable and well suited for long distances and her particular physical condition. Since she would need him for the day of Peggy's wedding, she had decided that that would be the day she would meet him in person for the first time.
Linda had shopped for everything she needed for the wedding on the Internet. "Thank God for the Internet," she constantly reminded herself. "How easy it has made my life." By the time her mother arrived three days before the wedding, all was set; Linda was ready for the wedding and for her imminent departure.
It was a beautiful wedding filled with all the ingredients that make such occasions a success. The magnificent June day was illuminated by a brilliant sun, and the sky was completely blue, without a cloud in sight. Peggy was excited and bubbly like freshly uncorked champagne. Her whole family was there, even some distant cousins she had not seen in years. Her pleasure was only equaled by her unconditional love for Terrance. Peggy was that kind of person, whole and completely invested in her relationships, be it man or woman; she did not know how to love any other way.
Linda had bought a very elegant lavender outfit with a matching hat and veil; she wore white gloves, and her neck was wrapped in a delicate light blue silk scarf. One had to look carefully to see any signs of her physical devastation. She had also bought an expensive new cane with a beautiful sculptured handle.
"Oh, Linda, you look fantastic," Peggy had exclaimed, Linda had just walked up the steps of the church, and Peggy was standing with her father getting ready to go inside. Charles was right behind her, and he was the reason she was late. Linda had just met him for the first time in person at her apartment. It had been an awkward meeting, as Linda was nervous, and he was very reserved. He was a tall, elegant black man with light brown skin and his eyes emanated sensitivity and strength and Linda immediately took to him. His voice was grave, and he had a charming British accent which she found adorable. Linda was already dressed for the wedding when he arrived, she served him tea and they drank it while measuring each other out. Charles was a listener
and attentive to detail. He said very little about himself and questioned her at length about what she expected of him and how he could be of assistance to make her life as comfortable as possible. Linda liked him immediately; he was polite, perceptive, and discreet. Time flew by, and she did not realize how late it was. The ride to the church proved that Charles was also an excellent driver.
"I'm sorry, Peggy, I didn't see the time pass, but I guess I haven't missed anything yet. Oh, you look so beautiful in white like that, my God." Linda took one of Peggy's hands; the girls looked at each other for a few seconds, and a powerful surge of emotions passed through them.
"Hurry, Linda, go to your places." Peggy let go of her hand and motioned to her and Charles to pass by. Linda's mother was there with her two sisters, and Linda took her place beside her mother. It was the first time her sisters had seen her in over two years, and they were obviously nervous. The music for the wedding began just as Linda sat down, and Charles retreated to the back of the church.
"Hi, Mom, hi, Veronica, Dawn," Linda whispered as Peggy came down the aisle.
"Hi, Linda, we're so glad to see you," Veronica whispered back. She squeezed Linda's gloved hand and Linda squeezed back.
The ceremony was grandiose and solemn, and the church was filled to capacity with the families and friends of the bride and the groom. Linda couldn't help thinking throughout the ceremony that although she had only just turned twenty-five and was single, she would never experience what Peggy was experiencing at that moment. It was a realization that made her profoundly sad.
"Oh, Linda, come, let's go sit down over there." Her sister Veronica was motioning to a table at the reception hall following the wedding. Linda sat with her sisters for a long time; it felt good to be with them again. She hadn't realized how much she had missed them.