by Diana Palmer
She chose a floor-length blue velvet gown with white accessories and put her hair up with a blue velvet ribbon. She kept remembering that blue velvet ribbon in Carson’s car, and wished she could get it out of her mind. He must not have gotten it from her, after all.
At five-thirty, he still hadn’t shown up, and she was on her way back to her bedroom to change her clothes when she heard a car pull up.
She felt as nervous as a girl on her first date. She was probably overdressed, but she’d wanted to look pretty for him. That was idiotic. But she couldn’t help herself.
She opened the door, and found him in a tuxedo. That was one item they hadn’t bought together, and she couldn’t help but stare. He was so striking that she couldn’t drag her eyes away. He had the perfect physique for a tuxedo, and the whiteness of the silk shirt he was wearing made his complexion darker, his hair blacker. His blue eyes were dark, too, as they looked down at her.
“You…look very nice,” she faltered.
“So do you,” he said, but his eyes were cold. Like his face. “We’d better go.”
She followed him outside, forgetting her wrap in the excitement. They were halfway to Phoenix before she remembered.
“My stole,” she exclaimed.
“You aren’t likely to freeze to death,” he said curtly.
“I didn’t say I was, Carson,” she replied.
He tugged at his tie. “I’ll be glad when this is over,” he grumbled.
“It was your idea,” she said sweetly.
“I’ve had some pretty bad ideas lately.”
“Yes, I know.”
His eyes drifted slowly over her. “Was it necessary to wear a dress that was cut to the navel?” he asked harshly.
She wouldn’t let him rattle her. “It was the only dressy thing I had.”
“Left over from the days when you dated the eligible banker and were in the thick of Charleston society, no doubt,” he said mockingly.
She closed her eyes and wouldn’t answer him.
“No retort?” he chided.
“I won’t argue with you, Carson,” she said. “I’m through fighting. I’ve got no stomach for it anymore.”
She felt that way, too, as if all the life had been drained out of her.
“You, through fighting?” he laughed coldly.
“People change.”
“Not enough. They never change enough to suit other people. I’m dressed up in this damned monkey suit going to a form of entertainment I don’t understand or even like. And it isn’t going to change what I am. I’m no fancy dude. I never will be. I’ve accepted that.”
“Will your fancy woman accept it?” she laughed unpleasantly. “Will she want you the way you are?”
“Maybe not,” he replied. “But that’s how she’ll take me.”
“So masterful!” she taunted. “How exciting for her!”
He turned his head slowly and the look in his eyes was hot and dangerous. “You’ll push me too far one day.
She turned her gaze toward the city lights of Phoenix.
He pulled up near the auditorium and parked. There was a crowd, and she kept close to Carson, feeling a little nervous around all the strangers.
He glanced down at her, frowning. “Aren’t you afraid to get that close to me?” he taunted.
“I’m less afraid of you than I am of them,” she confessed. “I don’t like crowds.”
He stopped dead and looked down at her with narrow, searching eyes. “But you like culture, don’t you, honey?”
The sarcasm in his voice was cutting. She looked back at him quietly. “I like men with deep voices singing love songs, too,” she said.
He seemed disconcerted for a minute. He turned away, guiding her into the throng with a puzzled frown.
Everything seemed to go wrong. Their tickets were for another night, and Carson was told so, politely but firmly.
“Wrong night, hell,” he told the small man at the door. Then he grinned and that meant trouble. “Listen, sonny, they were supposed to be for tonight. I’m here. And I’m staying.’
“Sir, please lower your voice,” the little man pleaded, looking nervously around him.
“Lower it? I plan on raising it quite a bit,” Carson returned. “You want trouble, you can have it. In spades.”
Mandelyn closed her eyes. This was getting to be a pattern. Why did she let herself in for this kind of embarrassment?
“Please go in, sir. I’m sure the mixup is our fault,” the small man said loudly and with a forced smile.
Carson nodded at him and smiled coldly. “I’m sure it is. Come on, Mandy.”
He guided her into the auditorium and seated her on the aisle beside him. He stuck out his long legs and stared down at the program. He scowled.
“Swan Lake?” he asked, staring at the photos in the printed program. He glanced at Mandelyn. “You mean we came all this way to watch some woman dressed up like a damned bird parading across the stage?”
Oh, God, she prayed, give him laryngitis!
Around them were sharp, angry murmurs. Mandelyn touched his hand. “Carson, ballet is an art form. It’s dancing. You know that.”
“Dancing, okay. But parading around in a bird suit, and her a grown woman?”
She tapped him on the arm with her program.
“Swatting flies?” he asked.
She hid her face behind her program, slid down in the seat, and prayed for a power failure. There were too many lights. Everyone could see that the loud man was with her.
He continued to make loud comments until the lights went down. Mandelyn almost sagged with relief in the darkness. But she should have known better. The minute the orchestra began to play and the lead ballerina finally appeared, he sat up straight and leaned forward.
“When does the ballet start?” he demanded.
“It just did!” she hissed.
“All she’s doing is running around the stage!” he protested.
“Shut up, could you!” the man behind Carson said curtly.
Carson turned around and glared through the darkness. “I paid for my ticket, just like you did. So shut up yourself. Or step outside.”
The man was twice Carson’s age, and rather chubby. He cleared his throat, trying to look belligerent. But he held his peace.
Carson glanced down at Mandelyn. “Something in your shoe?” he asked. “Why are you hiding?”
“I’m not hiding,” she choked, red-faced as she sat back up.
He was staring at the stage. Out came a muscular male dancer, and Carson gaped and caught his breath and burst out laughing.
“Oh, do be quiet,” she squeaked.
“Hell, look at that,” he roared. “He looks like he’s wearing long johns. And what the hell is that between his legs…?”
“Oh, God,” she moaned, burying her hands in her face.
“Better not bother Him, lady,” the man behind her suggested. “If He hears what that man’s saying, He’ll strike him dead.”
Mandelyn was only hoping for hoarseness, but it didn’t happen. Carson kept laughing, and she couldn’t stand it another minute. Everyone near them was talking; they had disrupted the entire performance. She climbed over Carson and ran for the front door. She made her way through the lobby and into the women’s rest room. She stayed there for a long time, crimson to the roots of her hair. How could he? He knew better than to behave like that. He’d done it deliberately, and she knew it. He’d been trying to embarrass her, to humiliate her in front of what he thought was her own set. And that hurt most of all. That he’d done it to wound her.
Carson was waiting for her, his head down, glaring at his dress shoes when she came back out of the rest room. He heard her step and looked up.
His eyes were dark blue. Quiet. Searching. He took his hands out of his pockets and moved toward her.
“You’ve had your fun,” she said with dignity. “Or revenge. Or whatever you like to call it. Now that you’ve ruined my evening, please take
me home.’
His jaw tightened. “Miss Bush of Charleston, to the back teeth,” he said mockingly. “Dignity first.”
“I have very little dignity left, thank you,” she replied. “And I’m through trying to civilize you. I know a hopeless case when I see one.”
His eyes flashed. “Giving up?”
“Oh, yes,” she said with a cool smile. “And I wish your woman joy of you, Carson. Maybe if she can put a bridle on you, she can tell people you’re a horse and don’t know any better manners.”
The expression that crossed his face was indescribable. He turned on his heel and led the way out the door. She followed him stiffly, standing aside to let him unlock her side of the car.
It was a long, harrowing ride home. He turned on the radio and let it play to fill the silence. When they pulled up in front of her house, she was too drained to even notice what was playing. He’d told her in actions just how much contempt he felt for her.
“Mandelyn,” he said.
She didn’t even look at him. “Goodbye, Carson.”
“I’d like to talk to you,” he said through his teeth. “Explain something.”
“What could you possibly say that would be of interest to me? You and I have absolutely nothing in common,” she said with cool hauteur and a look that spoke volumes. “Do invite me to the wedding. I’ll see if I can find something homespun to wear. And I’ll even send you a wedding gift. How would you like a set of matching knives for your table? After all, you have to have something to eat your peas with, don’t you? Just the thing for a savage like you!”
She got out of the car, slammed the door and marched up the steps. It took her the rest of the night to try to forget the look on Carson’s face when she’d said that to him. And she cried herself to sleep for her own cruelty. She hadn’t meant it. She’d only wanted to hurt him as much as he’d hurt her. He’d as much as told her that her world was shoddy and superficial. It had been the killing blow. Because she understood all at once why it hurt so much. She was in love with Carson. And she’d just lost him forever.
Chapter Eight
Mandelyn couldn’t even go to work the next day, she was so sick about what had happened the night before. She shouldn’t have behaved so badly, even though Carson had provoked her. She shouldn’t have hurt him like that.
“I’ve got a migraine,” she told Angie. She knew she sounded unwell from crying all night. “If anyone needs me, tell them I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?”
Angie hesitated. “Uh, Patty came by as soon as I opened up.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. She asked if I knew that Carson was in jail.”
Mandelyn gripped the receiver hard.
“What?”
“She said he went on a bender last night and dared Jake to call you. Danny had to lock him up. They said he set new records for broken glass, and to top it all off, he ran his Thunderbird into Jim Handel’s new swimming pool.”
Her eyes closed and tears welled up behind her swollen eyelids. Because of her, she knew. Because of the way she’d hurt him.
“Is he still there?” she asked after a minute.
“No, ma’am. Patty bailed him out. She took him over to her place to look after him. He’s pretty bruised and battered, but she says he’ll be okay. She, uh, thought you might want to know.”
“Well I don’t,” she said quietly. “I don’t want to hear about Carson Wayne again as long as I live. See you tomorrow, Angie,” she added on a sob and hung up.
He was at Patty’s. He was hurt, and he was at Patty’s. And she was nursing him and taking care of him and loving him….
Mandelyn burst into tears. Somehow, she was going to have to stop crying. Her heart was breaking.
She didn’t eat breakfast or lunch. Around midafternoon she heard the sound of a car coming up the driveway.
She looked out the window and was shocked to see Patty’s truck pulling up at the front door. Her eyes flashed. She wouldn’t answer the doorbell. She wouldn’t even talk to the other woman! Patty had Carson now, what else did she want?
Patty rang the bell and Mandelyn ignored her.
“Mandy!” Patty called. “Mandy, I know you’re in there!’
“Go away!” Mandelyn called back, her voice wobbling. “I’ve got an awful headache. I can’t talk to you!”
“Well, you’re going to,” Patty said stubbornly. “Shall I break a window?”
Mandelyn decided that another broken window would be too much trouble. Reluctantly, she opened the door.
Patty paused, shocked by the other woman’s pale features.
“What do you want?” Mandelyn asked. Her voice sounded hoarse.
“I came to see about you,” Patty said, surprised. “Angie said you had a migraine, and I thought you might want me to go to the pharmacy for you.”
“You’ve already got one patient, just take care of him and leave me alone.”
Patty moved closer, eyeing her friend closely. “Mandy, what’s wrong?” she asked softly.
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Mandelyn started crying again, and couldn’t stop. Her body shook with broken sobs.
“Oh, Mandy, don’t, I can’t stand to see you like this,” Patty pleaded, helping her to sit down in the living room. “What’s wrong? Please, tell me!”
Mandelyn shook her head. “Nothing.”
“Nothing.” Patty looked toward the ceiling. “Carson takes his car into the swimming pool with him and you play hookey from work with a nonexistent headache, and nothing’s wrong.”
“You’ve got him now, what do you care what happens to me?” Mandelyn ground out, glaring at her.
“I’ve got him? Him, who? Carson?” Her eyes widened. “You think I’m after Carson?”
Mandelyn dabbed at her eyes. “Aren’t you? He did it all for you, you know. Learning all about culture, and going to ballets and making fun of ballerinas and fixing up his house. You ought to be proud of yourself! He didn’t think he was good enough for you the way he was, so he got me to give him lessons in etiquette!”
Patty’s mouth opened. “Carson isn’t in love with me!”
“Of course he is,” Mandelyn said with trembling lips. “And I wish you every happiness!”
“Me? What about you?” Patty shot back. “You went away for the weekend with Jake!”
It was Mandelyn’s turn to look shocked. “I went to Phoenix…alone.”
Patty flushed. “Oh.” She glared. “But you were all over him at my party.”
“We were consoling each other,” Mandelyn said wearily. “I suggested maybe he could learn to play a guitar and sing like Carson, and he said maybe I could go to veterinarian’s school….”
“Jake was jealous?” Patty asked. “Of me?”
“Boy, are you dense,” Mandelyn grumbled. “Of course he was jealous. Mad at Carson, mad at you. He asked me to dance so he wouldn’t have to watch the two of you together. And when you kissed Carson, I thought he was going to go wild.”
Patty’s eyes misted. “Oh, my,” she whispered.
A dawning realization made Mandelyn’s tears dry up. “Patty…it’s Jake, isn’t it?”
“It’s always been Jake,” Patty confessed. She stared down at her jeans. “Since I was a teenager. But he wouldn’t give me the time of day. I thought after I went away, maybe he’d miss me, but he didn’t even write or call me. And when I came back here, I found all sorts of excuses to go out to the ranch, but he didn’t notice. At the party I’d just about given up. I was hurting so much I couldn’t stand it, and Carson knew and he played up to me to try to make Jake jealous. But I thought it backfired, because Jake wouldn’t come near me. Last night, when I got Carson out of jail and took him home with me, Jake came to the front door and raised hell. I yelled back at him, and I thought it was all over. But now…”
“Jake loves you,” Mandelyn whispered.
“Yes, I think he might,” Patty faltered tearfully. “But why won’t he admit it?”
>
“He’s Carson’s foreman. He isn’t an educated man. And you’ve a degree. Maybe he doesn’t feel worthy.”
“I’ll soon rid him of that silly notion, wait and see.” Patty grinned. “I’ll seduce him.”
Mandelyn blushed wildly and Patty laughed.
“You might try that yourself,” she suggested gently. “The way Carson lets you lead him around, I don’t think he’d be able to stop you.”
“I don’t feel that way about Carson. I just feel guilty.” The flush got worse. Mandelyn stared down at her shoes. “He hates me.”
“Oh, sure he does.”
“But he does!” Mandelyn wailed. She blurted out the whole painful story through a mist of tears. “I could just die! I hurt him and he could have been killed. I’d never have forgiven myself.”
“Carson’s tough,” Patty said. “At least, he’s tough with everyone but you.”
“He’s nice to you,” Mandelyn reminded her.
“Oh, Carson and I go back a long way. We grew up together. I love him like a brother, and he knows it. But he’s never been with anyone the way he is with you, honey. You must be the only person in Sweetwater who doesn’t know that Carson’s in love with you.”
Mandelyn stared at her friend as if she’d lost her senses. Her eyes widened and her heart began to race.
“Didn’t you ever wonder why he’d let you save people from him when he was drinking?” Patty asked, her eyes soft.
“Because I wasn’t afraid of him,” she replied.
Patty shook her head. “Because he would have done anything for you. We all knew it. And he’d sit and stare at you and have the damndest lost look on his face….”
“But…but he said there was a woman.” Mandelyn hesitated. “He said she wouldn’t have him the way he was, that he wanted to change and get cultured so that he could have a chance with her.”
“He was talking about you,” Patty said. “You, with your genteel background and your exquisite manners. It was like wishing for a star, and he must have known all along how impossible it was. But I guess he had to try.”
Mandelyn felt as if someone had hit her over the head with a mallet. Carson loved her?
“Don’t feel so bad,” Patty said. “He’ll get over it. He’s almost back to normal this morning. Once he’s realized what a silly idea it was, he’ll come around, and you two will be friends again. Carson doesn’t hold grudges. He’ll thank you for having brought him to his senses.” She stood up, grinning. “Imagine, you and Carson. That would be something, wouldn’t it? The debutante and the outlaw. Wow!” She stretched. “Well, I’ll never be able to tell you how grateful I am to know how Jake really feels. And don’t you torment yourself about Carson. You only helped him see the light. He’ll be okay. He’s mostly just hung over.”