That idea hurt like crazy but seemed possible. As the bitterness coated his insides, he lifted his chin. “Don’t want to tell you how to do your job or nothing, but it sure sounds like you picked the wrong brother to question.”
Sheriff Brewer straightened his shoulders. “Care to explain that?”
“What do I need to explain? Weren’t you the cop who arrested Mark two years ago?”
“It was me. But I didn’t arrest him. Only brought him in for questioning.”
“Well, I could be wrong, but I heard that men don’t change their habits about things like that. He could have returned and gotten back to his old ways.”
Looking like he was smelling something rotten, Brewer said, “Now I’ve heard everything. A man turning on his own brother.”
“If that’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard, you should have stopped by our house growing up. You’d have learned then that nothing is off limits. Not for brothers, and not how parents can treat their sons. But, oh yeah, no one cared about us then. You only care about the Fisher boys when you need to pin a crime on somebody.” While those words hung in the air, he let the engine roar to life.
As bitterness and regret filled his lungs, he roared out of the parking lot, practically daring the sheriff to follow him or give him a ticket for speeding.
But as he sped down the highway, no one was following him. Not the sheriff. Not his brother. Just his memories of the things that had happened in his house.
Turned out that he didn’t need anything more to spur him on. He decided to ride until he got his emotions under control, and then head back to town.
There was something he needed to do. Something that couldn’t be helped.
CHAPTER 17
Wednesday, August 10
Waneta had been thankful that Mr. and Mrs. Johnson were so interested in organic produce. Standing in the vegetable greenhouse, surrounded by the scent of fresh herbs and row after row of peppers and tomatoes, she’d answered all of the couple’s questions about growing tomatoes of their own.
After they purchased four plants and a green plastic watering can, she’d met Mark at the counter. He still looked upset.
For a moment, she considered not even mentioning Calvin’s surprise visit, but she decided that would be wrong. Surely, it was better to identify the elephant in the room instead of pretending that it didn’t exist?
“I didn’t know your brother was back,” she finally said, keeping it simple.
“Yeah. He arrived a couple of days ago.”
His voice was flat, and Waneta was pretty sure that the muscles in his neck had tightened. Every response that came to her mind sounded too trite.
Keep it simple.
She had almost elected to keep silent. But when she noticed just how upset he was—his dark eyes almost black, so filled with pain—she decided to say something. Even if it wasn’t the right thing to say.
“He looks different than I remember.”
A bark of laughter erupted from Mark. The opposite of joyful. It sounded dark and bitter. Frustrated.
“Jah. He surely does.”
“I had heard he’d become everything English. I guess that rumor was true.”
“I knew he would,” he said slowly. “He . . . Well, it seemed he was never suited to our way of life. Never content. Always hoping for something different. Better.”
Finally, he was opening up! Maybe he was realizing that he could trust her. Feeling hopeful, she said, “He found it, then. That’s a good thing, right?”
“Nee. What he chose ain’t better. It ain’t anything close to that.”
She’d been wrong, then. “I’m sorry. Obviously, I’m struggling with finding the right words to say.”
He pressed a hand to his face. “Nee,” he said softly. “Don’t apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m the one who is sorry. Seeing him upsets me. Seeing him around you upsets me even more. I never know how he’s going to act. I never know what he’s going to say or do. I’m afraid he’s going to offend you or hurt your feelings.” Looking down at his feet, he said, “Maybe even something worse. I don’t know how to handle it.”
She had no idea what he was referring to, but she couldn’t imagine that his brother could ever affect her that much. She wasn’t a weak girl.
It was time he realized that. “You don’t need to worry about me, Mark.”
He paused, then said, “Nee, I do. He’s erratic. He’s saying and doing things that I don’t understand.” Rubbing a hand across his face, he added, “It makes me crazy.” Looking around the empty space, with all the stock perfectly organized, he added, “You may not know this, but I like things in proper order. It sets my mind at ease.”
“I actually have noticed that about you,” she teased. “After all, you are the one who rearranged these shelves.”
“I think it’s a consequence of how we were brought up. Growing up, my parents never did what was expected of them. It made me want to be around people and things I can count on. But that’s not really possible.”
“Which is hard on you,” she said, understanding him even better now.
He nodded. “Waneta, all that has been going through my head. Well, all that, and Amy getting hurt and Calvin returning. It’s set me off. I know it’s confused you, too. I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting this week.”
“You have been running a bit hot and cold.”
“I have been. I’m a grown man, but I don’t know how to protect myself from giving into these mood swings.” After a pause, he added more quietly, “Or how to protect you from harm, period.”
“You need to stop worrying about me so much. It’s just me. Waneta.”
“You are just you. But, don’t you see? That means something. You mean something to me.”
She didn’t know whether to give him a hug or burst into tears. His words were heartfelt. So sweet.
Looking embarrassed, he said, “I guess it’s pretty obvious that I like you. I want to get to know you better and I want you to get to know me better, too. But as hard as I try, it seems that I can’t separate my past from the present. It taints everything I’m trying to do. I feel like I’m living in fear of you finding one more thing that will be the final straw. That will make you finally turn away from me.”
His honest words made her pulse flutter. Again, she felt helpless by her naiveté. She wished she had more experience in relationships.
Since she didn’t, she could only rely on honesty and hope it was enough for him. “I want to get to know you better, too, Mark. I don’t know what secrets you’re hiding, but I don’t plan to judge you on either your past or your brother.”
“You sure about that?”
She shrugged. She didn’t feel sure about anything. Not his past, not her feelings, not even his scary brother. “Does it matter?” she asked. “Do we have to know everything about each other in order to have a friendship? Or to even have something more than that?”
He shook his head slowly. “Nee. But will you promise me something? If you do start feeling like you need more space from me, if you feel like whatever is happening between us isn’t making you happy, tell me, okay?”
“Okay. I can do that.”
His expression warmed, though she felt a new tension brewing between them.
“May I come over tonight?”
“You may, but why? Do you need something?”
Looking a little embarrassed, he said, “I want to call on you properly, like your parents would expect a suitor to act.”
Knowing that he was right, that her parents would need to see him do everything that they expected, even if it was all slightly old-fashioned, given their situation, she nodded.
“Maybe they’ll even let me take you out for an evening stroll. We can look at the fireflies.”
“Maybe they will.” She smiled, liking that idea.
Mark smiled, too. For once, his happiness even reached his eyes. “I better get to work, then. We’ll talk later,”
he said before turning away.
She watched him stride over to Mr. Lehmann, chat with him for a moment, then exit out the back door toward the far greenhouses.
Watching him made her feel a little mushy inside. A little optimistic about their future.
It also made her wonder if everything between them was on the verge of falling apart . . . even if it had never really had a chance to begin yet.
“WANETA, WE ARE so glad to see you,” Mrs. Miller said as she let her into their house. “I guess you heard about Amy?”
“First thing today. I’m sorry I didn’t get here earlier. I had to work.”
“We’ve had our share of visitors today. Poor Amy was so exhausted by the time the last group of young people left.”
“Oh? Would you like me to come back tomorrow?”
“Of course not. You and Amy have been close for years.” Her lips pursed. “Unfortunately, some of the men and women who stopped by only came over to get information. My Francis put a stop to that.”
“I bet he did.” Mr. Miller was stocky and had worked for many years up in the Michigan logging camps. He was big and burly and had no patience for people who didn’t adhere to his standards.
“Amy just woke up from a nap. Her father has been sitting by her bed, watching her sleep.”
“I’m sure he’s been a great source of comfort.”
“He has, but you can give him a break. Come along now.” Two steps away from her daughter’s door, she turned to face Waneta again. “You might want to prepare yourself, dear. Amy was pretty beaten up,” she said just as she opened the door and led the way inside.
The moment Waneta saw Amy’s bruised and battered face and arms, she wished she would have taken that advice to heart.
Amy wasn’t just a little bruised. She looked like her attacker had slammed her face on the pavement. Cuts and stitches were on her cheek and above her eye. Her nose was swollen and her eyes were blackened.
Even more disturbing were the dark fingertip bruises around her throat and on her collarbone. Someone had gripped her hard. Really hard.
“Neeta,” she said. “You came to see me.”
Her voice was hoarse and rough sounding. And the expression in her eyes! She looked so sad.
Tears pricked Waneta’s eyes as she darted forward. “Oh, Amy. I am so sorry.”
“Me, too.” Her bottom lip trembled before she glanced at her father. “But I’ll be all right. God was with me today. That is why I wasn’t hurt worse.”
Standing up, Mr. Miller nodded. “What she says is true. Though she was hurt badly, the Lord helped her through it. The nurse said she’s going to heal and be just fine. That was a blessing.”
Waneta had a strong faith, but she wasn’t sure how it was possible to look at anything that had happened as a blessing. Feeling at a loss for words, she simply smiled as Mr. Miller told Amy that he’d give the two of them some privacy for a half hour.
When the door closed behind him, Amy exhaled. “You had perfect timing, Waneta. I love my father dearly, but I needed a break from his hovering.”
“I’m glad I came at this time of day, then. You are making me feel useful.”
Shifting against her pillow, Amy tried to smile. “Glad I could help.”
“I sure am sorry you were attacked. I bet it was scary.”
“It was horrible. I’m still shaken up. I don’t know how I’m ever going to be able to walk anywhere alone again.”
“I bet you won’t have to. Your parents and Abraham will no doubt keep a close eye on you for months.”
“I think you are right. Abraham was so upset. When he first saw me, he looked like he couldn’t decide whether to hold me close or go after Mark Fisher.”
She was stunned. “Why would he want to go after Mark?”
Amy looked at her strangely. “Come on. You know why.”
“Nee. I really don’t. I heard you didn’t see who attacked you.” All at once, a horrible thought came to her. “Wait a minute. Was that not true?”
“Nee, it was true. The man had a mask on and I didn’t recognize his voice,” she said weakly. “But we all know that Mark hurt Bethany. So I’m thinking that it must have been Mark who hurt me.”
“He didn’t!”
Amy stared at her. “If not him, who else could it be?”
Feeling like she was destined to continually stand up for Mark, who had done nothing to deserve such harsh treatment, Waneta said, “I have no idea, but I know it wasn’t Mark. He didn’t hurt Bethany, Amy. He was taken in for questioning and then released. Sheriff Brewer cleared his name.”
“Well, it was someone I knew. I do know that much.”
“How? What did he say?”
After glancing at the door to make sure it was shut, Amy whispered, “He yelled at me when he had me down on the ground. He said that he knew I dressed up and went to the mall and the movies with Abraham last weekend.”
Waneta was surprised. Belatedly, she recalled that Abraham’s parents hadn’t minded him parking his truck in their field and that he and Amy hadn’t been baptized yet. Technically, they were still in their rumspringa. “I had forgotten that you both still went out and did things like that.”
Amy looked at her sharply. “‘Like that’?” she repeated sharply. “You make it sound like we are doing something wrong.”
“I didn’t mean to make it sound that way,” she said quickly. “I meant only that I’d forgotten that you still hadn’t joined the faith.”
“Still? Boy, now, that sounds judgmental.”
“I’m not judging you.” At least, she was trying not to.
“I hope not. Because there’s nothing wrong with still going out and experimenting with English ways. Abraham said we have time before we have to join the church.”
“Jah. Of course.” Feeling more uncomfortable, Waneta said, “Maybe the man who attacked you was English. He could have seen you at the movies and followed you home so he’d know where you lived or something.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it.”
“What did Sheriff Brewer think?”
“He isn’t sure who it could be. But then, I didn’t tell him about what the man said.”
“Why not?” It was hard not to raise her voice. “It sounds important.”
“Waneta, he might have told my parents!”
“They don’t know that you’ve been going to the mall and movies?” Waneta was incredulous. Surely, neither Amy nor her parents were that naïve?
“Of course they don’t know.”
“But they know you and Abraham are still doing things like that . . . Right?”
Amy sighed. “Nee. They don’t.” Impatiently, she brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face. “Waneta, I don’t know why we’re even talking about this. What matters is that Mark Fisher is hurting people again.”
Waneta stepped away. She felt like she was in an impossible situation, but she also knew that she had to do what was right. What was in her heart. “Amy, I feel sorry for you and I would have never wanted you to get attacked like you did. I will pray for your recovery. But I am friends with Mark now. I can’t allow you to blame him for something I know he didn’t do.”
“Do you really know he didn’t do it?”
“Of course.”
“And how do you know he is so innocent, Neeta? Were you with him last night? Are you his alibi?”
She was tempted to say she was. Tempted to lie. But that lie could only blow up in her face. “I wasn’t. But I talked to him about it this morning. He was really upset and shocked. Just like I was.”
Amy looked at her curiously before understanding dawned. “You two are working together at the nursery, aren’t ya?”
“Jah.”
“Then I’ll tell you the same thing you just told me, Neeta. I am sorry for you. I hope this never happens to you. But if you continue to hang around him, chances are good that something will happen to you, too.” Lifting her chin, she said, “I think I need to rest now. Can
you see yourself out?”
“Amy, please don’t be mad. You know I’m only trying to stand up for a friend.”
“I thought I was your friend.”
Since it was now obvious that Amy wasn’t going to try to understand her point of view, Waneta started for the door. “I’m leaving now, but I really do think you are making a mistake about not telling the truth to Sheriff Brewer. You shouldn’t lie about what that man said.”
“You sound so holier than thou. I can’t wait for the day when you realize that it was a mistake to be so judgmental.”
Even bruised, Amy had an answer for everything. Feeling hopeless about the situation, she walked right from Amy’s room to the front door and quietly let herself out.
She felt a little guilty. The right thing to do would have been to inform Mr. and Mrs. Miller that she was leaving, but she couldn’t find the nerve to do it. She was too upset and distressed about everything Amy had said.
Walking back home, Waneta felt so isolated. For years now, she’d gone to work and gone home. Sure, she’d enjoyed many friends in the area, but she hadn’t made time to do things with them in a very long time. Instead, she’d found her happiness with her parents and in her work at the nursery.
Perhaps that’s why Amy’s comments had stung so badly. Not only did Amy seem more than a little derisive about Waneta’s choices, it seemed like she faulted Waneta for staying on the straight and narrow.
As she walked along, feeling the heat of the late-afternoon sun warm her shoulders and smelling the faint scent of honeysuckle in the air, she realized that she couldn’t see anyone for miles.
The chill that ran down her spine caught her by surprise.
She realized that if someone did come out of nowhere and attacked her, no one would hear her scream. She’d have to fight him off on her own.
As she turned the corner and saw her house and her two neighbors’ houses in the distance, she breathed a sigh of relief. She was safe, for now.
But her pulse was racing so fast, she was starting to feel like she soon wasn’t going to be safe.
CHAPTER 18
Wednesday evening, August 10
Someone had been in his house again. There was nothing blatant, just a couple of signs that stood out to him. A closet door left open that he knew he’d shut. Drops of water dotting the old stainless steel sink in the kitchen.
His Guilt Page 12