“I will miss you, too,” she said, but her tone was stilted, and he figured she was simply parroting the words.
What had he done? What had gone wrong between them? Why was she so distant? He prayed this trip would help her. It had to help her. Maybe she just needed to see her mother. But that didn’t sound right to him. Honor wasn’t the kind of girl who depended on her mother.
“I think the van is here,” Honor said.
He blinked and reined his thoughts in. “Give my best to your folks,” he told her, putting on a big smile. Whatever was wrong between them, now wasn’t the time to dwell on it.
He looked toward the drive and saw that the van was indeed pulling in and heading toward the porch of the big house. Honor was already going down the steps. He hurried to grab her suitcase from her, carrying it as they walked together. She walked quickly but his stride easily matched hers.
The van had stopped and Gabe stepped ahead of her to slide open the back door. He greeted the driver and slid the suitcase into the seat, pushing it to the spot behind the driver. Then he faced Honor. He wanted to kiss her good-bye, but it was awkward with the driver right there, able to see them. Besides, Honor probably wouldn’t like it.
“Thank you, Gabe,” she said, looking into his eyes. Her eyes shone with unshed tears and he had a sudden flash of warning—as if she weren’t intending to return. He barely kept himself from reaching out and grabbing her to him.
“You’re welcome,” he said, although he wasn’t sure why she was thanking him. He took a deep breath, carefully keeping his smile on his face. “I’ll see you soon. Real soon.”
There was a tremor by the side of her mouth—so fleeting, he wasn’t sure he’d seen it. But then, she nodded at him and climbed into the van. He pulled the door shut and moved back. The driver took off and the van rolled down the circular drive back out to the road. Gabe stood and watched it disappear from sight. He felt strangely empty.
And worry started gnawing in his gut.
Chapter Twelve
Honor leaned back on the vinyl seat and let out her breath with a huge sigh. Now she could breathe again. She knew Gabe was upset she was leaving. And his mother wasn’t any too pleased, either. The woman had dropped innuendos all evening the night before. Supper had been interminable as Honor did her best to deflect the barbs. Honor had even considered bursting into tears during the meal—anything to make Tessie Chupp quit implying that Honor was deserting her new husband like some kind of wayward child.
Well, maybe she was a wayward child, Honor thought. All she knew was that she needed to leave. But Gabe’s parting look haunted her as the van whizzed down the highway. He’d worn that huge smile of his, that too-big smile, the smile that could surely be seen ten miles away. But it hadn’t rung true. He was worried. It was written in his eyes.
She pressed her head against the headrest and closed her eyes. The scenery dashing by outside the window made her dizzy anyway. She’d always loved road trips. She remembered her glee when she and her cousin Willa and Collin had gone into Indianapolis on the bus. That had been a delightful adventure. She’d been giddy the entire trip. She hadn’t been dizzy for one single second. So why was this trip bothering her?
Guilt. That was why. She felt guilty for not loving her husband enough. For not being happy to be married. For slogging through the days as if she were being punished. Well, she supposed she was being punished. She hadn’t gone into this marriage with proper motives. Oh, she’d thought it had been proper in the beginning, but she couldn’t fool herself anymore. She’d been selfish. Completely and totally selfish. And for what?
Nothing.
Her parents had left after all, and now she wished she’d gone with them. What had she been thinking? That she could manipulate everyone according to her whims?
She shook her head and opened her eyes. The day was beautiful—the sun shone brightly in the pale blue sky. The fields that stretched out on either side of the highway were already showing patches of green where the summer crops were breaking through the tilled soil. She should be glowing with happiness. She had a fine man for a husband. She had a cozy house to live in. She still lived in Hollybrook.
“You doing all right back there?” the driver asked.
“Jah,” she answered. “I’m fine.”
“If you want to stop halfway there, I can pull into a gas station. You can get a snack and a drink if you want.”
“Nee. I’d rather go straight through,” she answered. “Unless you want to stop.”
He shook his head. “Naw, I’m good.”
Honor smiled at him in the rearview mirror and then turned her head to look out the window again.
* * *
“Hello, Gabe,” Nancy Bontrager greeted him.
He turned from the shelf of tools at the Feed & Supply.
“Oh, Nancy, hello.”
Her cheeks grew flushed, and she tilted her head. “Buying tools?”
He chuckled. “How is it that one minute you have three screwdrivers and the next minute you can’t find a one?”
She smiled in return. “Hmm. A mystery to ponder.”
A mystery to ponder? That was a strange way to put it. He hadn’t remembered Nancy as talking so fancy-like.
“I s’pose it is.”
“Um, where’s Honor? I haven’t seen her around much.”
Gabe’s chest tightened. “She’s visiting her folks.”
Nancy’s brow shot up at that. “Oh, she is?” She made a soft tsk-ing sound with her tongue. “Why if I’d just gotten married, I wouldn’t be rushing off that way.”
Gabe gawked at her. Under his scrutiny, she turned apple red. He’d known for years that Nancy was sweet on him, but he’d never really taken to her. But he would never have thought she’d be so brazen with him.
She took a step back. “Uh, I mean, well, I’m sure Honor misses her folks.”
“That she does,” he answered, now eager to get away from her.
But she didn’t leave, and he hadn’t yet chosen a screwdriver. He looked back at the shelf and grabbed one, a Phillips he hoped. She still didn’t move.
“I need to get going,” he told her, moving to skirt around her in the aisle.
“Gabe?”
He paused.
“Give Honor my greetings when you hear from her.” She licked her lips. “And if, well, if you need anything, or if I can help you with anything, you let me know.”
If she could help him with anything? Like what? Like discovering why his wife had turned so cold? Like why she didn’t like to hug him or kiss him? Like why she—
He gulped, halting his thoughts. “Thanks, Nancy. I’ll tell Honor hello for you.” And then he did leave, as fast as his legs could carry him.
* * *
“Mamm!” Honor cried, meeting her mother on the short sidewalk. “I’m here!”
“Ach, but you didn’t even tell us you was coming,” Sandra Kennel replied, opening her arms to her daughter.
“It was a quick decision. It’s all right, ain’t it? All right that I am here?”
“But of course, daughter. Come right in.”
Honor waved the driver her thanks, grabbed her suitcase, and looked around her mother to peer at the small green house.
“So, this is where you live?”
There was only a slight hesitation before her mother smiled and said, “Jah, this is home.”
A strange sensation of floating fluttered through Honor as she approached the house. It was as if she were hovering over herself, watching as she entered this unfamiliar place her parents now called home. The front room was one third the size of their old one. Their old furniture sat around the room, their rocking chairs and davenport and coffee table, making the room feel both known and unknown at the same time.
The warming stove was set off in the corner with a tea kettle atop it.
“What do you think?” Sandra said, her voice falsely cheerful.
Honor swallowed. “It’s right nice, Mam
m. Real homey.”
“Come see the kitchen.”
Honor followed her mother into a mid-size kitchen. Again, seeing her mother’s things in a different house was jarring. “It’s not as big, to be sure. But it’s a real handy place. And the cook stove works gut.”
Honor nodded. “I’m glad. Where’s Dat?”
“He’s working at the factory.”
“But it’s Saturday. I thought Englisch folks got the weekends off.” Honor realized her mistake the minute the words left her mouth. Englisch folk? Was she saying that her folks were no longer true Amish. Her face flamed hot and she stammered to backtrack. “I-I mean, since the factories is owned by the Englisch.”
But it was too late. Her mother stepped back and gave Honor a look. “We don’t live in Hollybrook no more. It’s true. We don’t farm no more. That’s true, too. But you listen to me, daughter. We’re as Amish as the next person. Moving and switching jobs didn’t change that.”
Her mother’s stern voice rang through the kitchen.
“I know,” Honor said, her throat tightening. “That isn’t what I meant, Mamm. It isn’t.”
Sandra didn’t move, but her face relaxed, going back to her more usual expression. Honor felt sorry and wondered if this trip had been wise. Maybe she shouldn’t have come.
“Why are you here?” Sandra said gruffly, her voice still not normal.
Honor blanched. “Why, I wanted to see you is all.”
Sandra raised her chin and her eyes narrowed. “That’s all. What’s going on, Honor?”
Could her mother see through her or something? Why couldn’t she take her reason at face value? Because it isn’t true, she chided herself.
“Is your marriage not going well?”
Honor blinked rapidly. “Of course, it is. Gabe is fine. He’s a gut husband.” Well, that was true enough.
“And?”
“There is no and. They’re tearing down our house. The barn’s already gone,” she blurted.
Sandra’s face turned white and she moved to lean on the counter. “Is it?”
“Jah.”
“We knew it would happen, didn’t we? I s’pose they’re in a hurry to get them apartments built.”
“And our tree. The oak…” Honor stopped. Why was she telling her mother about the tree? It would only upset her.
“The oak…” her mother uttered. “Did they… Did they cut it down?”
Why had she mentioned it? She lowered her head. “Jah. They cut it down.”
Sandra sucked in her breath. The room went deadly still. Honor watched a myriad of expressions flit across her mother’s face. Honor thought she looked ready to weep, but then, she straightened and cleared her throat.
“It’s not surprising. It was likely in the way.” Her voice was clipped and matter-of-fact. “Are you hungry?”
“I-I… I guess I am,” Honor said.
Her mother went to the refrigerator and pulled out a glass casserole dish of what looked to be chicken and noodles.
“I’ll warm it up. Your father will be home from his shift soon. He’ll be right glad to see you.”
Chapter Thirteen
Her mother bustled around the kitchen, and Honor felt her cold demeanor. At that moment, Honor wished the van hadn’t left. She would go right back outside and climb in to return home. But the van had left. There was no option but to stay put.
“I’m sorry, Mamm,” she murmured, wishing to restore a better mood between them.
“Nothing to be sorry for,” Sandra told her. “Now, set the table, will you?”
Honor looked around, not having noticed the table. When she saw it, she gasped. “Mamm! What happened to it?”
At least a third of it was gone. Someone had made it smaller—sawed part of it right off. Their beautiful table.
“It was too big for the space,” Sandra said. “Now, it fits there just fine. And really, what do your dat and I need with some big old clunky table?”
Honor’s eyes filled with tears. That table had been her mother’s pride and joy. Her father had made it for them.
“B-but…” she started.
Sandra grabbed Honor’s arm. “No buts, Honor. The table is fine. This house is fine. Losing my maple tree is fine. Life goes on. We trust Gott. And that’s all there is to it.”
Honor nodded, humbled.
“Do you understand me, child?”
Honor was six years old again and being scolded by her mother.
“Now. Set the table.”
Honor did as she was told.
* * *
Fifteen minutes later, the front door opened and Honor heard male talking and laughter. She went to the front room and there was her father with a young Amish man.
“Hello, Dat,” she said.
He turned from his companion and his eyes stretched wide. “Ach! Honor!” He came to her and hugged her. “When did you get in?”
“Not two hours ago,” she said, smiling at him. He looked happy. Relaxed.
“How long can you stay?”
“A few days.”
“Why, ain’t that wonderful gut.” He looked at his friend. “This is my daughter, Honor Chupp. She lives back in Hollybrook.”
The man took off his hat and nodded at her. “Nice to meet you. My name is Trevor.”
“Hello, Trevor.” Honor couldn’t help but notice his striking looks. He was tall and his shirt, under his suspenders, was pulled tight over the muscles on his arms. His smile was warm and pleasant, and he seemed right at home in her parents’ place.
She stepped back.
“Sandra, as you see, we’re having company for supper,” Jerrod announced happily. “Why, we’re having two people for company now.” He laughed.
Company? Was that what Honor was? Company?
“Right glad to have you, Trevor.” Sandra looked at Honor. “Run set another place.”
Honor scurried into the kitchen to grab the dishes and utensils. Who was this Trevor? And why did he seem so comfortable in the house?
With the table set, Honor helped her mother place the serving dishes on the table. Then she filled the glasses with iced tea.
“Call your father and Trevor in,” Sandra told her.
Honor moved close to her mother. “Who is Trevor?” she asked. “How did you meet him?”
“He works with your father. He’s here without family, so he comes by a lot. He’s a gut man.”
“I see,” Honor murmured and went to call them to the table.
Thanks to Trevor and his talkative nature, the meal was lively and punctuated with a lot of laughter. Honor found herself totally relaxing, and feeling better than she had in days. How long had it been since she’d laughed like that? Too long.
“Shall we go to the front room?” Sandra asked. “Would anyone like anything else to drink?”
Trevor grinned and patted his stomach. “I’m so stuffed, I couldn’t fit in a drop of anything. But thank you.”
“Same for me,” Jerrod said.
“You could work on that jigsaw puzzle you started the other night,” Sandra said.
Honor gaped at her mother. Jigsaw puzzle? Since when did her parents work puzzles?
“Is it the same one we worked on last week?” Trevor asked. “That was a tough one.”
“Nee, we finished that one. This one is a scene from Europe.”
A scene from Europe? Who were these people? Honor didn’t even feel like she was with her own family anymore.
“Come, Honor. Let’s red up the kitchen. And then, if you like, you can work the puzzle with them.”
“All right,” Honor murmured.
They cleared the table and Sandra filled the sink with soapy water. “You can dry.”
Honor took the dishtowel off the rack. As she and her mother washed and dried the dishes, they fell into their old rhythm and pattern, and Honor began to feel more at ease. At least, she was drying the same dishes and using one of their old dishtowels. And even though the kitchen was completel
y different, her mother had organized the dishes in the cupboards in much the same way.
“Mamm?”
“Jah.”
“How is it here, really?” Honor put down the plate she’d just dried.
Sandra’s hands went still in the sink. “It’s gut,” she said.
“Mamm. Please. Tell me.”
Sandra sighed and ran more hot water into the sink. She turned off the faucet and faced her. “It’s a lot better than I feared. A lot better. The people here are nice. The bishop and deacons seem much the same as in Hollybrook. Of course, I miss my friends there, but I’m making friends here.”
She washed another cup, rinsed it, and handed it to Honor.
“It’s strange to not be farming. It’s strange to not be putting in the crops. I have a garden out back.” Her eyes sparked with happiness. “It ain’t very big, but it’s a garden. Too early to plant, but I’ve been hoeing it and getting it ready.”
“Oh, I’m glad.”
“And your dat. He’s, well, he’s doing better than I expected at the factory. He told me he likes it. He comes home tired, but in a gut mood. And that’s saying something.” She sighed. “After the last year, seeing him in a gut mood warms my heart. He feels awful bad about what happened. Awful bad about losing the farm.”
“You could have stayed in Hollybrook. You can come back, you know, if you want to. We have room for you. Plenty of room. And I think that Gabe’s dat was looking forward to the help.”
Sandra snorted. “Ach, Honor. Why would Gabe’s dat be wanting another old man on the farm? He’s got four sons to help him. I appreciate what you tried to do. Truly. But we’re fine here. Adjusting better every day. And I’ve got more time now. I even took up reading again.”
Honor didn’t know if she’d ever seen her mother read a book. But then, her mother had always been bustling about. Farm work was consuming, to say the least.
Honor's Wedding (Hollybrook Amish Romance) Page 6