When Mari came up, he wiped his lips on the back of his hand and planted soft kisses on Jake’s belly. He slid back onto the couch, draped himself around Jake and rolled up against him. His body was beautiful, lean and hard and perfect, the muscles well defined under his pale golden skin, jeweled with sweat.
“Touch me,” Mari implored, his voice shaking. “Stroke me.”
Jake wrapped his fingers around Mari’s turgid shaft without hesitation, stroking him with a slow, firm hand, his thumb sweeping to and fro over the silky crown, spreading the slippery spill of his pre-cum. After a minute or two, he jacked him faster and moved his lips to Mari’s neck, nipping and sucking small kisses there.
Shivers rippled through Mari’s muscles and he let out a hungry groan, rolling his hips and thrusting into each downward stroke of his fist. Jake wasn’t sure what was hotter, having Mari blow him or watching him inch up slowly toward his climax, knowing he was responsible for all the pleasure on Mari’s pretty face.
“Mmhhhhh…ohhh…Jake! Jake!” he yelped. “Yes… Yes!”
Jake sucked harder at the warm, silken skin of his neck and pumped him faster to bring him off. His cock grew even harder, just before a spurt of creamy semen spattered on his stroking fist.
Mari curled around him, burying his face in the curve of Jake’s neck and shoulder, panting like he’d just run a mile at speed. Frantic whimpers escaped his throat and he shuddered, restless in the throes of his ecstasy.
“Ohhh…you are so good at that,” he crooned at last, lips close to Jake’s ear. “Thank you.”
Jake uttered a contented rumble and kissed him. “Dinner and a blow job. You are the best boyfriend ever.”
“Don’t you forget it,” Mari whispered into his mouth. A fond smile twitched at his wet lips as he pushed himself to his feet. Naked and glistening, he took the empty cartons over to the trash and dumped the utensils in the basin.
“Shower?” Mari asked.
“Shower,” Jake agreed, and levered himself up.
Chapter Eighteen
Mari stayed the night at Jake’s, so he didn’t get back to his own house until later the next day. In a way, he had been avoiding going home since the other morning. He was still angry about the photograph and the way Mama had outed him to Jake without even consulting him. He hated arguments, especially with her, and it had been easier just to stay at Jake’s place until he’d cooled down.
He spent the morning at work with a young woman from the Foreign Office, trying to show her how he could still get into their computer files, even after they’d thought they’d put a fix on their database to keep him out. She was a smart girl, very chatty and enthusiastic, but he got the impression that she was scared of him, too. Mindful of Jake’s warnings about not being an asshole, he was sweetness and light with her for the entire morning, and she went away with a list of recommendations for upgrading her department’s security and a smile on her face.
Ashcroft was pleased and he gave Mari the afternoon off.
The downside of that was, after a pleasant walk along the embankment and a tube ride up to Camden Town, he was facing a confrontation with Mama again. Mari went shopping first to put off the inevitable for as long as possible. He bought a woven silk scarf in dark red that he thought would look good on Jake and a pair of elegant, dark blue boots for himself from one of the shops on the high street. On the way home to Albany Street, he also bought a large bunch of flowers, figuring that apologizing in advance was his best approach.
Tonka barked and skittered down the hallway to greet him as he let himself in, and he pushed the door shut behind him and juggled his purchases in one hand while trying to subdue his enthusiastic dog with the other.
“Shushhh…yes. Yes… I love you,” he promised as Tonka bounced all over him and tried to lick him. “Slobbery dog! Settle down!”
The door at the far end of the hallway opened wider and he lifted his head as Mama peered out at him. She looked tired, he thought, and worried.
“Is everything okay? You’re home early,” she said, a wary note in her voice that put him on guard again.
“It’s fine. I’m finished for the day. I brought you some daffodils,” he said, holding up the bouquet as evidence. “If Tonk doesn’t try to eat them, that is.”
Mama called to him and Tonka gave Mari a last proprietary swipe with his tongue before he turned and trotted back to her, tail wagging.
“Someone is pleased to see me, at least,” he observed, under his breath.
His mother took the flowers without a word but dipped her face into the blooms to inhale the spring sweetness.
“They’re lovely. Thank you. You didn’t need to bring flowers,” she said at last. “I was just wondering if you were going to come home, or…” She shrugged, uncharacteristically lost for words.
“Are you going to tell me you’re sorry, or shall we just keep pretending it didn’t happen?” he asked her. Straight off, he saw an image of Jake in his head, holding up a sign reading ‘Asshole!’
“Were you ever going to tell him yourself?” she responded, neither apologizing nor answering the question. He silently congratulated her on using his own favorite tactics against him.
“In my own time. Maybe.” He put the bags down, shrugged out of his coat and draped it over the back of the sofa, but Mama took it out into the hall, hanging it where it lived, by the door.
“Do you want tea?” she asked on her return.
“Is that it? We’re going to sweep it under the carpet?” He folded his arms and tried to look serious.
“If that’s what you want.” Mama put the kettle on and spooned leaves into the glass pot without even glancing at him. “I take it Jake was gentle with you, since you’re not here shouting and screaming at me.”
“Jake is always a gentleman,” he reminded her.
“Yes. He is,” she agreed, finally looking up at him with tenderness that warmed some of the chill from his heart, but twisted it, too. He pushed aside the idea that she cared more for Jake than she did for him. This was not the time or place for that argument. Mama said, “You’re a very lucky man, Ilmari. Not many partners, of either sex, would have taken that news so well.”
“You still had no right to tell him,” Mari pointed out, frowning irritably as the doorbell rang and Tonk went racing up the hallway. Only then did he observe that she’d set out three teacups. “You’re expecting visitors. I’ll go up.”
“No. Stay,” she said in a firmer voice. “Make the tea. I’ll get the door.”
He did as she’d told him, a frown still creasing his forehead. In the hall, Tonka uttered a single sharp bark as the door opened, but only the one. Usually that meant Jake, but Mari didn’t hear him and there was no reason why Jake would have come around here at this time of the day.
When Mama returned to the day room, it was her healer who was beside her, talking to Anni in a soft voice and tickling Tonka’s head, between his ears, as if she had known him for years. A hot spike of annoyance poked at Mari’s gut and he whistled sharply, calling the dog to heel. Tonk proved reluctant but he came, at least, nosing Mari’s fingers and sitting by him. The terrier looked at Solana with a sorry whine.
“What’s going on?” Mari demanded, prey to a sudden shiver of anxiety. They both looked so serious that his first thought was the treatment was going badly and Mama was getting sicker. That was enough to push their disagreement right out of his head for the time being.
“Good afternoon, Dr. Gale.” Solana said, ignoring his rudeness. “I was hoping I might see you again. I’m afraid I owe you an apology.”
Mari blinked at her, wrong-footed again by her polite response. It took him a few moments to respond.
“You most certainly do,” he declared at last, still half-paralyzed by the cold dread that something was terribly wrong.
“Ilmari!” Mama chided him, shaking her head.
Solana smiled at her, an expression that didn’t quite reach her eyes for once. “No, it’s all righ
t, Annabel. He has a right to be angry.” She returned her attention to Mari. “I’m sorry, Dr. Gale. I assumed, given your close relationship with Mr. Chivis, that he knew of your…fluctuating status. It was my indiscretion that prompted your mother to reveal your past to him.”
Mari digested that while the spike of ice inside him slowly turned to a white-hot flame.
“Given your profession, I might have assumed that you’d exercise more caution when speaking of private affairs to a stranger,” he snarled, furious with her. “Just because you choose to parade what you are in the public eye, you shouldn’t assume that we all do.”
“Ilmarinen!” his mother exclaimed in horror.
He opened his mouth then closed it again, wishing he could take the words back already, even though a darker part of him wanted vengeance. He wanted Solana to hurt the way he was hurting and didn't care how he made that happen, so long as he managed to penetrate the cloak of cool assurance she wore. Instead of saying more, he ground his teeth in frustrated silence.
To her credit, Solana didn’t flinch in the face of Mari’s rage. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It was a mistake to speak to Jake about what I’d seen in your aura. I admit that,” Solana said, her words steady and her voice still calm. “However, if I choose to present as the same gender I know I am, that is not ‘parading’, nor should I be ashamed of it.”
“That is not what this is about.” Mari pointed one finger at her like a pistol. “I’m not ashamed, Solana, I’m angry. You had no fucking right to bring it up. You did it on purpose, to mess with me. I have no idea why, but you can think yourself lucky that my partner is a good man. If your indiscretion had cost me Jake, I would be making you pay for it.”
Solana shook her head in denial. “It was not done on purpose. It’s very clear to me, just by looking at you, that you’re…fluid. You have aspects of both sexes—or perhaps neither. If it was obvious to me, a complete stranger, I was sure someone you were intimate with would be able to see it plainly as well.”
Mari bit down on what he wanted to say. His cheeks were suddenly too hot and he felt confused and foolish under her unwavering stare. Her quiet self-assurance was painful in ways that he could not even begin to analyze. Jealousy warred with the need for retribution in his head.
“That’s utter sh—r—rubbish,” he faltered, conscious of Mama’s furious glare. “Jake doesn’t… He’s not… It doesn’t matter to him. He loves me for who I am. But you still had no right to tell him!” He lost his stammer as he got back onto more certain ground. “You ought to respect a person’s confidentiality. I love him, too. That’s all that matters.”
Mama touched Solana’s arm with gentle fingers. “Ilmari was not in a good relationship before he met Jake.”
“Mama!” he protested. “Must you?”
“I’m only trying to help, darling,” she sighed. “And it’s true. He did not sound like a nice man, that married fellow you were seeing in Spain.”
“It’s none of her business!” Mari pointed at Solana.
“You’re right that I shouldn’t have said anything in front of Mr. Chivis,” the healer conceded, again. “I have admitted that, and I am truly sorry. I can’t undo it, and I very much hope it’s caused no lasting harm. I may be a healer and an Elemental, but I’m human, too, and I own up to my mistakes.” She patted Anni’s hand, where it still lay on her arm, and said, “Perhaps we should continue our sessions at the Retreat?”
“Perhaps you should. I don’t want you in my house,” Mari said, more than a shade ungracious, he knew, but he couldn’t hold back. “And I don’t care what you think you’re doing, but I don’t want my mother to continue her association with you.”
“Ilmarinen! That is not your decision to make,” Mama snapped at him. “Solana is doing me good, better than a lot of my conventional doctors.”
“You know nothing about this person,” Mari shouted, making Tonka whine again. “She could be a mass murderer for all you know. I don’t trust her and I don’t want her here. And I’m perfectly entitled to make that decision, thank you.”
“That is quite enough, Dr. Gale,” Solana said in a firmer tone. “I’ve apologized and you are of course under no obligation to accept it or to welcome me in your home, but you will not cause Annabel this undue stress. I can heal her. I can cure her. I’ve already made progress and I will not allow a petty disagreement between us to interfere with that.”
“Petty?” Mari wanted to strangle her but he restrained himself. Still, he struggled with his conscience. Jake had warned him already not to act without evidence but he so wanted to see Solana’s true face.
“Natalie Craig,” he said at last, forcing calm into his voice. “How did you protect her? Oh…forgive me. I don’t think you did, did you? And since it happened, she’s been too scared to leave her house. I don’t want my mother going anywhere near you, do you hear?”
Solana looked perplexed. “What are you talking about? What does Natalie have to do with this?”
Mari hesitated, thrown by her confusion. He wanted to hit out but he was less sure how to lead her where he wanted her.
“She modeled for your art group. And someone took it on himself to do something evil to her. I don’t know who he was yet, but until we do, I don’t want my mother to see you. Understand?”
“Ilmari, you’re being paranoid and utterly unreasonable,” Mama said in her most disapproving tone.
“Something happened to Natalie? When? Is she all right?” Solana asked with apparent concern.
If she was lying about her ignorance of what happened, she was a damn good actor, but Mari wasn’t willing to let go of his suspicion just yet.
“No. She isn’t. She’s putting on a brave face but she’s scared to go out in case that maniac is still around and scared to stay in alone in case he knows where she lives. She doesn’t sleep well because of the dreams of being trapped underground. She’s still waiting for the results of tests for sexual diseases that I’d rather she didn’t have to think about. In a nutshell, she is not all right. She is very, very far from all right.” His voice was trembling as he closed his mouth and he took a couple of quick, hard breaths.
“Jake and Mari are involved with the police investigating the Cemetery Rapist case,” his mother added.
“Mama, that makes it sound like we’re suspects,” he protested. “Jake is a consultant on the case. I’m…assisting. And you may have just compromised the entire case.”
“I think you’ve done that already, Ilmarinen,” his mother retorted.
Solana’s eyes were wide and misty with emotion. Her face had gone pale. “Annabel, if you’ll pardon me, I would like to reschedule our appointment. Natalie is a friend and I had no idea this had happened to her. I need to offer my support to her.”
“I think it’s better that you don’t have anything to do with Natalie until this case is solved,” Mari said, still angry and unable to keep that fury out of his voice. “The police have spoken to her and taken evidence from the crime scene. If she’s your friend, how come you had no idea? Leave her be. Let us try to catch the man that nearly killed her.”
Up until that point, Solana had remained calm, poised, initially contrite but shocked by his news. She finally snapped at Mari’s last shot.
“I didn’t know because I don’t see Natalie every day. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about her. I have no intention of interfering with what the police are doing, but I will see her and I will offer any comfort she wishes because that’s what friends do when something terrible has happened. If you don’t understand that, there is more wrong with you than even I can fix. I don’t like your tone, Dr. Gale, and I don’t like your insinuation I’m somehow responsible for what happened to Natalie. If this is how you conduct an investigation, accusing people of something vile just because you don’t like them, perhaps you’re not cut out for this type of work!”
With that, she swung around and took Anni’s hands, kissing them briefly. “This
is in no way your fault. Please rest and call me when you are ready.”
Solana released Anni’s hands and headed toward the door without another glance at Mari.
“Good riddance,” he murmured under his breath, bending to fuss with Tonka’s ears. When he straightened up, Mama had returned from seeing Solana off and was glaring at him from the doorway.
“Do you and Jake have even a shred of evidence that connects Solana to these crimes? Other than her happening to be a friend of one of the victims?” she demanded.
“Possibly. We have to cover every eventuality. She had the opportunity to connect with other victims. But Natalie modeled for her on a regular basis. Statistically victims of sexual assault and violent crimes know their attackers prior to the incident.”
“That would be a no, then. You don’t. And yet you felt compelled to accuse and insult her, the one person who has helped me to feel better and not sicker—in case you hadn’t noticed.” The clipped sentences told Mari well enough how upset she was. Worse, she didn’t sound angry, so much as profoundly disappointed. He folded his arms and tried to look penitent.
“Mama, I just don’t want to take any risks around you. You’re too important to me for that. The rapist could be anyone. And just because Solana presents as female doesn’t mean she’s incapable of being the attacker.” He was careful to moderate his tone this time, aiming for rational and concerned rather than all-out defensive. “Yes, I want you to get well. But how many times do you read in the papers, when someone is arrested for assault or murder, his family and neighbors all saying ‘oh no, it couldn’t be him, he was such a nice chap’? I’d rather not take the risk.”
“Well, that’s too damn bad, Ilmarinen. It’s not your risk to take.”
He stared at her, helpless and angry. “Mama, please… I can’t lose you. If anything happened and I hadn’t tried to protect you…it would kill me.”
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