Digging Deeper

by Bellora Quinn

  “I’m sure,” John sighed. “I see what you’re doing, Jake. Cut it out. I’m not on the pull. Do you realize how bloody long it is since I even went to a gay bar?”

  “Maybe that’s half the problem,” Jake suggested.

  “I stopped going for a reason. I got sick of being hit on by the kind of guys that went to gay bars,” his companion responded with a forced laugh. “I’m sure your friend there is a good bloke, but he’s gonna have to smarten up his act. I’m not dating a muppet, not that I’ve got time for dating.”

  Jake was still amused. “It’s one night, not a commitment.” He held up his hands when John scowled at him. “All right, all right, I’ll lay off.”

  “Good,” Cordiline responded in his best hardened-copper growl. “Sapphire got enough DNA off the previous victims to nail St. Andrews. Once the prosecution brings it all out how after he raped his victims, he buried them just shallow enough so they could dig their way out, just so he could draw the scene for his dumb comic, he’ll be put away for a long time.

  “The case against Arregui could still go either way. That smug bastard is denying all knowledge of his nephew’s criminal activity.”

  Jake picked at one corner of the label on his bottle of beer and didn’t respond to that.

  “Will they go for the premeditated charge against St. Andrews?” Jake asked instead.

  “The last girl was an aberration. He got interrupted and scarpered before she managed to get to the surface. He’s sticking to that claim, that the murder was an accident. He didn’t mean to kill her. They could send him down for manslaughter but his solicitor will probably push for unlawful killing, if they don’t go down the diminished responsibility route. He’ll be out in ten-to-fifteen years if that happens.”

  “And meanwhile, his victims get a life sentence of nightmares and therapy. Doesn’t seem fair.” Jake took a sip of his beer. It was the same lament of good cops everywhere. They got to see up close the very worst of humanity and had to still, somehow, stay human themselves. These days Jake was finding it harder to do.

  “Listen, Chivis. I was going to wait to bring this up, but… I have a couple of contacts that keep me informed on certain maneuverings. Aled Mustatti was extradited today.”

  “Extradited? He hasn’t served anywhere close to his sentence. To where? For what?”

  “I would like the answers to those questions as well, believe me. However, my discreet inquiry was met with a cold shoulder and open hostility. I was told in no uncertain terms that the matter was far above my shiny new paygrade. A few less ethical inquiries led to a dead end. Literally.”

  “He’s dead?”

  “It looks that way—on paper at least. Accident in transport.” John drank his beer. Jake took a drink as well.

  Short of terrorist activity, Jake couldn’t think of any reason to allow an extradition of a convicted murderer. Slim as that likelihood was, it was even less likely they’d somehow fuck up enough to let a prisoner like that die in transport. Unless someone wanted a ghost who could talk to ghosts. The idea that the government, here or somewhere else, had gone to all the trouble of extracting Mustatti from prison and making him disappear on paper to have their own private medium was way more crazy conspiracy theorist territory than Jake normally indulged in. But was it possible?

  Jake drank more than usual but he still made his excuses well before closing time. He left Cordiline with his coworkers and friends and gave him his best and sincerest wishes for success in his new job. Out on the pavement, he took a few steps toward the apartment stairs out of sheer habit before he caught himself and remembered he didn’t live there anymore. The walk across Regent’s Park would probably be just enough to clear his head.

  * * * *

  Jake slipped in and closed the front door quietly behind him, but Tonka heard him and greeted him in the hall by bouncing all over him like his doggy birthdays and Christmases had all come at once. He found Mari in the day room, sprawled on the sofa, reading.

  “Hi. You’re early. I thought you’d be out with the boys all night,” he said.

  “I missed you.” Jake gave him a kiss hello—just a brief, tender brush of their lips that still warmed him more than all the heat and chatter in the bar had. “You look comfortable. Relaxed.”

  “Do I?” Mari glanced down at his casual jersey yoga pants and soft, cream-colored hoodie. “Just vegging. I do feel…less anxious after this afternoon’s session. We talked about moving forward and where I wanted to go from here. Solana approves of the PI business. She thinks it will be good for me to focus my energies into something constructive.”

  “Good.” Jake was still supportive of Mari seeing Solana. He didn’t have the same animosity toward her that Mari had once had, but he did occasionally wonder if Mari would be better off seeking help from a professional therapist, not that he was about to suggest that to Mari. “It will. I agree. Is Ashcroft okay with you moving to part-time hours?”

  “Surprisingly, yes. I should be able to cut back next month, once we’ve got the current workload under control. Crime never sleeps, you know.”

  “Really? I hadn’t realized.” Jake sat down beside him and slid one arm around him and Mari leaned into his side, resting his head on his shoulder. “Is Anni asleep?”

  “No. Still out.” Mari ran one hand through his hair, which he had let grow again. Jake had noticed that he played with it more when he was agitated. “She got an email this morning from that children’s charity in France that she’s been consulting for. They’ve offered her a job. She’s not shut up about it all day. Thankfully, she went out with an old school friend to the theater this evening and said not to wait up.”

  “Did she see Mr. Barnard?” Jake asked.

  “She did. He says the results are consistent with her last tests,” Mari told him, looking up at him with slightly misty eyes. “He is convinced she’s in remission. He’s never seen anything quite like it before, so he is cautiously optimistic.”

  “If she’d gotten this news before she met Solana, you’d be doing cartwheels. Is she rubbing it in?” Jake asked.

  “What do you think?” Mari rolled his eyes and uttered a theatrical sigh. “They are both making the most of their opportunity to say ‘I told you so’.”

  Jake laughed. “Don’t pout. This is good news, Mari. The best news, actually. Right?”

  “You’re right, as usual.” Mari sounded…not sad, exactly, but rather wistful, he thought.

  Jake lifted his hand to the back of Mari’s neck and stroked very lightly. Mari didn’t tense up or pull away, but he stilled and Jake moved his hand to the back of the couch.

  “You’re going to miss her if she goes to Paris.” Jake guessed at the most likely cause of his long face.

  “Nah,” Mari clearly lied. His shoulder blades twitched beneath his light sweater, giving him away. “It’ll be good to have the place to ourselves for a bit.”

  Jake let him get away with the fib and Mari snuggled in closer again and looked up at him with a little smile. “Solana thinks we should be doing more than just private investigations together. She reckons that it wouldn’t hurt to maybe try some personal investigating. At least I think that was the jist of what she said today. I believe my reluctance frustrates her sometimes.”

  “Solana thinks so but what do you think?” Jake asked. Because, while he was in no way opposed to any sort of investigating Mari wanted to do, he had to know that it was actually Mari’s idea.

  “I think… I miss so much about what we had.” Mari heaved a small sigh. “You know that I still love you. At least I hope you do.”

  “Of course. And I love you, too, Mari. We don’t need to rush this.”

  “It’s been over six months, Jake Chivis. I hardly think we’re rushing anything,” Mari huffed, though he managed a short, bitter laugh. “I’m physically well. My body probably works just as well as it ever did. But you know how my brain has its own ideas.”

  Jake did know, very well, exactly how Mar
i’s brain could override what his body wanted. When he thought about how they’d gotten through so many barriers at the start of their relationship, how happy Mari had been…and how very sexy he looked when he was getting what he wanted— Jake cut off that line of thought. The first few times, after he’d come home from the hospital, when Mari had tensed and pulled away if Jake had touched him, he had been more worried about Mari than anything else. Then he’d gotten angry. Not at Mari, of course, but at the bastard that hurt him so badly he flinched at a touch.

  He’d worked on quashing his temper while Mari worked separately on moving past the hurt and anger inside him. Although they’d never specifically discussed it, Jake had decided the best way to be supportive was to let Mari initiate any touching.

  Unfortunately Mari’s lack of proper boundaries often meant that they took one step forward then two—or even thirteen—steps back. The only time they had really argued was over Mari’s insistence that they try playing out a scene, which back before the assault, would have led to a spanking. Jake had refused and they’d fought over it. He had spent three nights at Manny’s place afterward. When Mari had finally come to fetch him home, he’d let the matter drop, and Mari hadn’t asked for anything like that since.

  The painkillers and anti-anxiety meds Mari had been put on after he’d been released from St. Mary’s hadn’t helped much, in Jake’s opinion. His doc had then added an antidepressant to the mix, which seemed to mellow him out but also killed what little remained of his libido. The chemical cocktail also interfered with his ability to interface and he’d started struggling to do even the minimum at his job. After only a couple of months, Mari had declared that he wasn’t going to take them anymore. Since then his ability to interface had steadily picked up but his sex drive was still at zero.

  “You’re quiet,” Mari said to him. “If you don’t want to, I’d understand. I haven’t been easy to live with lately. I’m sorry.”

  Jake had to shake his head at how far off the mark Mari was on that score. “I want you. More than anything.”

  Was he imagining it, or did Mari’s eyes darken at his words, the pupils dilating as he gazed up at him? Mari moved to his knees beside him on the sofa and, cautiously, climbed across his thighs to sit astride them, in his lap, facing Jake with a very determined expression on his face.

  “I want to kiss you,” he said. “That’s one thing he never did to me. One thing he can’t ruin for me.”

  Jake had to force himself not to clench his jaw or let his hands tighten reflexively into fists. This was not about him and it wasn’t about that piece of shit Arregui. The only thing that mattered here was Mari.

  “You can kiss me anytime you want to.”

  Mari lifted his hands and let his fingers gently explore Jake’s face, like a blind man refamiliarizing himself with a long-forgotten landscape. His touch set loose butterflies in Jake’s chest and he turned his head, rubbing his cheek against the warmth of those caressing digits. Mari leaned in closer to him, stroking his thumb over Jake’s lower lip, pressing down and opening his mouth just a little, even as his own lips parted.

  They had snatched pecks of affection, here and there, brief, tight-lipped kisses hello and goodbye, but this was a different. Jake was almost overwhelmed by the tension in his whole frame as Mari bent his head closer, closer, until the soft fall of his ashen hair almost brushed his face. Then those wayward locks were trickling over his skin like silk, and Mari was cupping his chin, lifting his head as Mari lowered his. His breath was quick and warm, flowing over Jake and into him. Mari’s soft, dry lips touched his, and Jake’s resolve to let Mari dictate every move lasted all of ten seconds.

  The soft press and nudge of lips became a more intense, searching, and Jake slid his hands up the outsides of Mari’s thighs. He kept them there, although it took just about every ounce of will he had not to tug Mari onto his crotch or wander his hands more intimately over Mari’s ass.

  Mari tilted his head, leaning into him harder, pressing his mouth down with more intent onto his. He kissed then sucked Jake’s lower lip between his, catching it with his teeth, not roughly, but enough to set off sparks inside him. When he let go, Mari’s mouth covered his again and Mari’s tongue darted between his lips, touching his own tongue and his teeth before retreating like a shy minnow into its own domain.

  Mari drew back, but not far. His lips were still brushing Jake’s mouth as he whispered, “Well, this is nice.”

  “This is nice,” Jake agreed, his voice a little hoarse.

  Mari sat back in his lap for a moment, studying him. He stroked one finger of his left hand gently down into the neckline of Jake’s shirt and teased at the button that offered first resistance for a moment.

  “Can we try something?” he asked.

  “Yes.” Jake ran his hands over Mari’s lean thighs, a slow, gentle motion like he would have soothed a skittish horse with. “Whatever you want.”

  “We should go upstairs,” Mari told him, his expression very earnest.

  “Oh?” Jake raised his eyebrows.

  “What I had in mind involves you being a bit less…dressed,” Mari said, biting his lip. “I wouldn’t want Mama to walk in unexpectedly.”

  The thought of ending their dry spell had Jake half-hard, but the butterflies still fluttered in his chest. He did not want to screw this up. He dislodged Mari from his lap and stood, taking his hand. “Let’s go upstairs then.”

  Since moving in, they had replaced Mari’s cozy bed with a larger double and now his little den was a much more intimate hideaway, with his desk and IT equipment tucked into the spare room along the landing so that he didn’t disturb Jake if he was working into the night. It also gave them an office of sorts, which was useful as Jake had begun to get quite a few clients in the wake of the Cemetery Rapist case. Work was the last thing on his mind tonight, though.

  Mari cupped his face and touched another kiss to his lips as they closed the door behind them and shut out the rest of the world. For a little while after their lips parted, Mari stood with the tip of his nose touching Jake’s, his eyes half-shuttered by long golden lashes. Then he stroked his fingers lightly down over Jake’s shoulders and chest, and began to unfasten his shirt.

  Jake held still and let Mari undress him, without helping. The way Mari moved, the set expression on his face, like he was determined to prove something, reminded Jake of how he had been in the first few weeks of their relationship. He thought it best to let Mari work through whatever was spinning around in his head. When he got the last button undone, he tugged Jake’s shirt down his arms almost violently. Jake let it fall and Mari attacked his fly with nimble fingers.

  Jake toed his shoes off but otherwise let Mari do things his way. Mari took his time, once Jake’s jeans were around his ankles, touching him gently through his boxer briefs, running one hand across the outline of his cock and balls, his quiet gaze roaming over him like he would never be tired of the view. He was careful easing Jake’s underwear down his thighs, then sank to his knees and helped him to step out of them, and his socks, until he was naked. The cool air on his skin did nothing to alleviate the involuntary rush of blood to his groin that left him semi-hard. Mari still knelt before him, a little flush on his cheeks and his breath coming faster as he caressed Jake’s thigh with exquisite tenderness. Those big blue eyes traveled back up from his crotch to Jake’s face and he took a slower, deeper breath.

  “I’d forgotten how beautiful you are,” he said in a quiet voice.

  Jake brought his hand to Mari’s face and traced the edge of his brow, the curve of his cheek, his lower lip. “Whatever you want to do, or not, I’m completely yours. You decide everything tonight, okay?”

  Mari leaned into him and brushed his lips against his thigh, planting soft, careful kisses all the way up to his hip. Then he rose and nodded toward the bed with a grateful quirk of his mouth.

  “Go lay down. I’ll be right with you.”

  Crossing his arms, Mari caught the hem
of his hooded sweater, and the T-shirt under it, in both hands and drew it up, over his head. Jake sat down on the edge of the bed then leaned back among the pillows, watching as Mari dropped both garments to the floor. Mari was far too thin, he worried. His lean frame was still supple and beautiful, though, the skin soft and healthy, though paler than it had been six months previously.

  Mari was gazing at him, expression quizzical, his loose jersey pants riding low on those slim hips of his. The lamplight caught on the trail of gold from his navel down into his waistband. Then he took a deep breath and pushed them down, stepping free of the pooled garment and leaving it on the floor as he came over to the bed. Jake caught his breath. It had been too long since he’d seen Mari completely naked and the sight roused him, making him anxious that his obvious interest would frighten Mari away.

  He needn’t have worried. Moving as light as a cat, Mari knelt on the edge of the mattress then prowled on his hands and knees toward Jake until he was able to climb astride him and sit down, straddling his lower thighs.

  “Well,” he said with a little shrug. “That went okay, I think.”

  Jake hesitated with his hands hovering just shy of touching Mari’s thighs. Even though it had been Mari’s idea to come up here and get naked together, Jake wasn’t blind to the little twitches and shrugs and reluctance he was fighting through. It was effectively pouring cold water on his initial arousal, even though he knew it had nothing to do with him. How to fix it, how to get Mari past his discomfort and into what he was doing, was an answer Jake would have given just about anything to possess.

  Just as he was about to suggest that ‘maybe this was actually too soon after all’, an idea popped into his head. Everything in him rebelled at the thought, but he took a breath and spoke fast, “Do you want to tie my hands to the headboard?”

  For a long moment, so long that Jake worried he’d overstepped some invisible line, Mari was quiet. He didn’t look away but Jake could almost see the cogs turning in that lovely head.